The biggest joke

Colleagues were on a business trip, and local colleagues were hospitable. They hosted a banquet in characteristic hotel's private room that night. After sitting down, a dozen men and women have been chatting, and only one person is ordering. After ordering, I asked everyone's opinion: "The food is ready. Is there anything else to add? "

& gt In this case, in Beijing, we usually ask the young lady to quote the name of the dish she ordered. So a buddy in Beijing said, "Miss, report it." Miss & gt gave him a look, but nothing happened.

& gt "Miss, report it!" Dude, it's a little urgent. Miss & gt's face is red, but there is still no movement. ：

& gt "What? Let you report that you didn't hear it? " Dude, it's really urgent. & gt A female colleague hurriedly dozen circle field: "Miss, please report one by one, ah." Miss & gt mumbled, "So, so ... is it okay to hold a woman instead of a man?" & gt "poof!" A female colleague just took a long sip of tea and sprayed it all on the person in front. A dozen people laughed, and the young lady was at a loss.

2. When it's time to serve, use the pimp to serve the first one. A large plate of thin face was served, followed by several dishes of ingredients and sauces. Miss didn't pay attention when serving, and a drop of sauce spilled on a buddy's pants. That buddy is also deliberately teasing, pretending to be unhappy and asking the young lady: "What should I do?"

Miss & gt said quietly, "Whatever." & gt "What do you say?" & gt "What do you want to do?"

& gt "What do you usually do here?" & gt "Why don't I help you?" & gt "Very good."

& gt I saw the young lady quickly pour several dishes of ingredients and sauces on the rapier, holding chopsticks in one hand and a spoon in the other, and stirring them with several brushes. Then he said to his buddy, "Sir, you can eat."

& gt The buddy stared at the plate with his eyes for a long time without saying anything, and another colleague said "thank you" to the lady for him. ：

The main course is served-roast leg of lamb, a big plate of meat bones and a plate of salt and pepper. A Beijing buddy loves this mouth so much that he grabbed a leg of lamb unceremoniously. Click is a bite, and he eats and drinks. The young lady looked at it and said, "Sir, this should be dipped."

& gt The elder brothers looked at the young lady doubtfully, and then at the local colleagues. A local colleague said, "It tastes better when dipped in it."

& gt The buddy then stood up with a leg of lamb and clicked again. & gt The young lady hurried over and asked, "Do you need anything, sir?" & gt "huh? No. "

& gt "Then please sit down and eat."

& gt The buddy muttered and sat down, looking at everyone, lost. Carefully hold the leg of lamb to your mouth and take a careful bite. & gt The young lady added, "Sir, you should dip this in."

& gt Buddy stood up, waved a leg of lamb and shouted angrily, "How to eat while standing or sitting?" ! ? "

The table is full, and all the leaders are here. ：

& gt A full house greeted us with greetings. & gt The lady next to the banquet is beautiful, new, inexperienced and quite nervous. & gt Everyone sat down, and someone called, "Miss, tea!" Miss & gt hurried forward with a finger: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, * * * seven!"

& gt Everyone laughed, and the leader went on to say, "Pour the tea!" Miss & gt is busy and "inverted" again: "7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, or 7." Someone asked, "What are you counting?"

Miss & gt hesitated and whispered, "I am a dog." & gt Everyone was very angry and shouted, "Call your manager!" As soon as the manager came in, he put his hand down and asked with a smile, "What do you want to tell me?"

The leader of> said, "Don't ask any more questions, ask about the age of this young lady." The> manager thought for a moment and answered according to his instructions: "18 years old, a dog!" "The leader smiled, and everyone laughed. It is not convenient for everyone to pursue the massive failure of leaders. Miss and manager are like falling into the clouds.

5. After thirty years of drinking, I served a dish: "Stewed tortoise!" & gt Everyone is happy, but they haven't forgotten the rules. Someone dialed the king with chopsticks and said, "lead, lead!" " The> leader looked at the turtle's crazy shaking head and was unhappy. He didn't want to reconcile the ending of this statement, and he didn't want to go against everyone's good wishes. He tasted the soup with a spoon and said, "Good, good! Please feel free. " & gt Someone said, "Yes-a turtle should have soup!" The leader almost spat with anger. & gt After a while, the soup was almost finished, and a round thing surfaced and asked, "Miss, what is this?" Miss & gt quickly replied, "It's an asshole." Everyone was surprised and happy: "Leaders eat first, leaders eat first!" & gt This leader is very happy that he didn't hear the words of "bad luck". He called the young lady: "Give it to everyone!" For a long time, the young lady didn't move, and the leader asked angrily, "Why, is this unclear?" The young lady said awkwardly, "How to divide seven people and six bastards?" & gt when everyone heard this, they all looked at each other, full of delicious food, which was hard to swallow. `

That day, I had a very good friend who told me a joke and made me laugh. Later, my stomach hurt too much.

Went to the hospital. Before the doctor operated on me, he asked me why I laughed like this, so I put the joke aside.

Tell him. I didn't expect him to laugh wildly after hearing it, and finally he vomited a lot of bubbles. Rescue is invalid, death.

I really didn't want to do this, but it happened. Many times, what we don't want to happen,

Always happens; What we hoped for every day didn't happen. But once it happens, we still have to bear it.

Consequence, really, it turns out that people live because they don't want to bear what they don't want to happen.

Fruit, really, is boring. Think about it and want to die. How nice it is to be dead? But I want to die, at least.

Not yet, because the doctor's lover accused me of manslaughter.

In a daze, the court opened. The judge asked the prosecutor to brief the case. In fact, it was very simple. It was me.

Tell a joke, the doctor smiled and smoked, and then died with a smile. The judge made me laugh at the investigation and evidence collection.

When the words are spoken, it is up to the jury to decide whether the factual elements of manslaughter are consistent. Although I study law,

But I'm already worried. I'm afraid there will be "consequences" after telling this joke, so I ask for peace.

Everyone in the court, about 100 people, signed an exemption contract, which is the effect after telling this joke.

"No responsibility". The judge announced an adjournment, reopened the court a day later, and announced that he accepted my opinion, so I

The children signed a contract.

Now that I have legal protection, let me tell this joke. Unexpectedly, just finished, the whole

The court is boiling. Some people knocked on the table with a smile, some people rolled on the ground with a smile, and some people tried to smile while covering their stomachs.

Tears flowed from the pain. ...

I looked around and found that the old judge was still sophisticated and motionless, sitting there firmly with his eyes closed.

Jesus Christ. I admired it at that time. You see, people who are judges and lawyers are just different.

Stay calm and calm in a crisis.

Later, I learned that he was dead, and everyone who heard my joke that day died laughing.

So, I became a celebrity in an instant. A TV reporter interviewed me and asked me what joke I was telling.

How awesome. I am very calm, and I know that if I say this, it may constitute an infringement on the public. What if there is something?

I can't stand the class action lawsuit of idle social rights groups any longer. So I looked in the TV mirror.

Boss, he said something to the effect that the reason is always a lie and the belief is always * * * *. The reporter obviously didn't.

I understand, but I can see that the little girl is quick-witted. Can't the audience see that she is stupid? She repeatedly said

Tao, and then squeeze out a few tears! Actually, I didn't know it was just a stunt. But I'm here

People can't stand the tears of women, especially the tears of beautiful women. As a result, I decided to cooperate and said

I am willing to give her the exclusive right to report and publish this joke.

After the program was broadcast, it caused great repercussions throughout the country. Many viewers asked for a replay. Unexpectedly, a few

One night, mysterious plainclothes suddenly broke into my bedroom and dragged me to one of my places in XX.

In the dark room. After a long time, suddenly a strong light shone on my face. I hardly opened my eyes and was shocked.

Because the person sitting in front of me is the only person in this country who may be as famous as me.

The president obviously doesn't want to talk to me more. He only told me the purpose of my arrest. It's simple. let me ...

I recorded this joke and sent it to dictators of hostile countries in the Middle East through an insider. I laughed to death.

Male ... I said it was impossible. This is political murder. More importantly, this has obviously surpassed the president as the highest.

It is unconstitutional for the chief executive's power scope to be approved by the National Assembly. The president grabbed me by the collar and put me

He picked it up and growled, "Do you really believe in the separation of powers?"

I can't help it At this time, my mind was full of background difficulties in the first case of the Constitution, so I agreed to his request.

Please, but at the same time, I suggest that my jokes belong to weapons of mass destruction and cannot be targeted at civilians and used against civilians.

The president agreed, so I recorded the joke in that small room. I see it, Mr. President.

Smile and you will know it's over. Politicians are really nothing.

Sure enough, two weeks later, the president announced that he had mastered the key technology of my joke and was in the sand.

The experiment in desert area was successful (7 13 prisoners were killed by laughter. The news caused an international uproar.

Many countries fell into panic, and some foreign governments opposed to our president withdrew from the government and international military forces.

Scientists have also given this phenomenon a name, called "laughter deterrence." Just as our president won,

A country in the East suddenly announced that it had mastered this joke. Later, I learned that this joke was first told to me by my eldest brother.

The children took refuge in that country. Thus, a "smile balance" has been formed between us.

More than 60 years ago, April 1 day, which was the previous World April Fool's Day, was unfortunate and something I had been worried about.

It finally happened. A terrorist organization in the Middle East somehow stole my joke technology and took it away.

After controlling our national television station, broadcast that joke to the whole country. ...

Civilization has been destroyed like never before, and people no longer have confidence in the future. The United Nations had to hold a meeting.

The world's major heads of state finally made a major decision, which led to the birth of this world.

Policy: Make the future April 1 April Fool's Day. In this way, people have everything that day.

To be on the safe side, everyone knows it's fake, and no one takes it seriously, so it's okay. This joke is just like other sentences.

If you don't believe me, it's not fatal.

More than 60 years have passed, and I am over 80 years old. Before I leave this world, I want to be history.

Witness, it is necessary to tell this joke to everyone. In fact, a friend of mine told me this joke the other day.

Very simple, very short, just one sentence:

He said he believed in love.