Cold jokes in September

1, what animal is the owner?

2. What animal sticks to the wall most easily?

3. What happens when a fat man falls from 12 floor?

Xiao Bai looks like his brother, so he uses an idiom.

How many brothers does Aladdin have?

6. A key fell into the shit hole. Hit a character in Jin Yong's novels.

7. Why didn't the satellite hit the star?

Answer:

1, pigs (pearls) are masters.

2. Sea (newspaper) leopard

3. Fat boy

4. The truth came out.

5. Three (Ala A Ala B Ala C)

6. Yellow (key)

7, because the stars will flash.

Xiaohong and her mother are both in the same class. Why?

Why did the frog lose to the dog in the swimming competition?

How long will it take to finish Peking University?

Xiaoming always likes to break the alarm clock at home. Why does mother always ask her father who can't repair the clock to repair it for her?

What is the most likely color of a baby's teeth?

A: One is a student and the other is a teacher.

Answer: Frog breaststroke fouled.

A: A banknote clock is enough.

Answer: Repair Xiaoming.

Answer: Babies have no teeth.

China has a long history of culture. There are poems in Tang Dynasty, words in Song Dynasty, songs in Yuan Dynasty and novels in Ming Dynasty. What now?

Who is the person who understands nature and can transform it at will?

Scorpions and crabs play guessing games. Why can't they tell who is the winner after guessing for two days?

Bangkok is in the rainy season. One day at midnight 12, there was a heavy rain. Q: Will the local sun shine in 72 hours?

When can people see their own shortcomings best?

Answer: reference books

Answer: painter

A: They can only produce scissors.

Answer: The sun will not appear at midnight 12 after 72 hours.

Answer: when you see it in others.

Brain Twister

Question: Where do people pay for the call?

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I replied: in the telephone booth.

Question: What is the first thing everyone should do when they wake up in the morning?

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I replied: Open your eyes.

Question: It takes only 1 minute for a snail to climb from Xinjiang to Hainan. Why?

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I answered: It crawls on the map.

Question: What animal did you kill but it bled?

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I replied: Mosquito.

Problem: A truck driver knocked down a motorcyclist. The truck driver was seriously injured, but the motorcyclist was okay?

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I replied: The truck driver didn't drive at that time.

Question: Is there any ceremony that foreign priests can't perform under any circumstances?

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I replied: Your own funeral.

Question: There was a bottle of wine, but Xiao Wang tried his best to open the bottle cap. As a result, he still drank the wine without breaking the bottle or making a hole. Why?

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I replied: He pressed the cork into the bottle.

Question: In ancient times, who became a father-in-law first and then a father?

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I replied: eunuch

Q: Is there anything you don't know and I don't know?

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I replied: there is a hole in the shoe.

Question: After an old lady got on the bus, why didn't anyone give up her seat?

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I answered: There are already many empty seats in the car.

Question: Xiao Wang whistled leisurely while brushing his teeth. How did he do it?

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I replied: I brushed my false teeth.

Question: Why do geese fly to the south in autumn?

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I replied: it's too slow to walk there.

Problem: Xiao Wang never touches the ground when he walks. Why?

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I replied: There are shoes.

Question: In today's society, what do most self-employed people who distribute big fortunes rely on for food?

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I answered: mouth

Question: There is a natural black marble. What will happen if you throw it into Qiantang River on September 7th?

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I replied: sink to the bottom of the river.

Question: The beautiful princess stopped hanging mosquito nets after she got married. Why?

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I replied: Because there is a frog prince.

Question: What has five heads, but people don't find it strange?

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I replied: hands and feet

Problem: Iron will rust if it is left outside. What about gold?

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I replied: it will be stolen.

Question: What car can't move?

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I replied: windmill

Question: Xiao Ming clearly knows the answer to the exam. Why did he keep looking at his classmates' papers during the exam?

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I answered: Xiao Ming is a teacher.

Fox is best at confusing men, so which "fine" men and women are fascinated together? [Answer] Alcohol

Why did a healthy couple give birth to a baby without eyes? [Answer] Chickens lay eggs

If tomorrow is the end of the world, why should someone commit suicide today? [Answer] Have a place in heaven

Farmers have 10 cows, why only 19 horns? [Answer] Because of a rhinoceros.

What do fat girls say when they are sick and most afraid of being visited by others? [Answer] Take care of yourself.

Question: Jasmine, sunflower and rose, which flower is the weakest?

Answer: jasmine

Reason: What a beautiful (powerless) jasmine.

Question: What line do orangutans hate most?

Answer: parallel lines.

Cause: Parallel lines do not intersect (banana)

Question: Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin?

Answer: Eraser

Cause: Eraser (rubber difference)

Question: What are cloth and paper afraid of?

A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

Question: What is the pencil's surname?

A: Xiao.

Reason: Sharpen (sharpen) the pencil.

Question: What will Kirin become when it arrives at the North Pole?

Answer: ice cream.

Reason: ice cream (iced unicorn).

Question: Which historical figure should be beaten the most?

Answer: Su Wu.

Reason: Su Wu was herding sheep by the North Sea (being beaten by the sea).

Question: From 1 to 9, which number is the most diligent and which number is the laziest?

Answer: 1 lazy; 2 Diligence

Reason: One (1) does not do two (2) endlessly.

Question: How to make the sparrow quiet?

Answer: Click.

Reason: Silence (silence).

Question: Who runs fastest in history?

Answer: Cao Cao

Reason: Speak of the devil.

Q: Who is Amy's mother?

Answer: flowers

Reason: peanuts

Question: What is white plus white?

Answer: equal to the white rabbit.

Reason: Xiaobai No.2

Question: 30-50 which number is worse than bear shit!

Answer: 40

Reason: Facts speak louder than words.

Question: What should I do if the pigs in the pigsty run out?

Answer: Wang Leehom.

Reason: to coax.

Question: What if I come out again?

The answer is: Han Hong.

Reason: Still coax.

Funny brain teaser-What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

Answer: The new dog is still very excited to see you a year later.

Funny brain teaser-Bobo accidentally swallowed 1 yuan, but Bobo turned him upside down and spit out 10 yuan. What should Bobo do at this moment?

Answer: continue to feed him one yuan.

Funny brain teaser-which number is the most diligent? Which number is laziest?

A: Whatever you want.

Funny brain teaser-a bear without a tail is a tail bear. What is a bear without a penis?

Answer: Mama Bear.

Funny brain teaser-what is the smallest island in the world?

Answer: Safe Island

Interesting brain teaser.-What keeps cutting?

Answer: Waterfalls.

Funny brain teaser-September 28th is Confucius' birthday, so what's the date of June 28th of 10?

Answer: Confucius full moon

Funny brain teaser-the wolf is coming (guess)?

Answer: carambola (sheep escape)

Funny brain teaser-what would the world be like if Chiang Kai-shek were still alive?

Answer: One more person. ...

Funny brain teaser-are there carp (four-word idiom) under these two pieces of ice?

Answer: Be polite (there are carp in the ice).

Funny brain teaser-Why does tofu hurt people?

Answer: Because it is frozen tofu.

Funny brain teaser-is it possible that an ant actually climbed from Sichuan to Tokyo?

Answer: climb on the map

Funny brain teaser-a bus had an accident and everyone was injured. Why is Xiaoming okay?

A: Because he is not in the car.

Interesting brain teaser-there is a place where you can go in, but you can't come out. What is this place?

Answer: the grave

Funny brain teaser-/kloc-chickens and geese in the 0/00-meter race. The chicken runs faster than the goose, but why does it reach the finish line later?

Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction.

Funny brain teaser-a ball and an iron ball fell from a tall building, who landed first?

Answer: iron ball

Funny brain teaser-the bell rang in the east, but there was no one in the classroom. What happened?

Answer: physical education class.

Funny brain teaser-why can Xiao Ming stop the car with one hand?

Answer: The car is a taxi.

Funny brain teaser-who is busy with work all day?

Answer: a ballet dancer.

Interesting brain teaser-Lingling has never studied arithmetic, but the teacher praised her math as one of the best. Why?

Answer: Count from one to two.

Funny brain teaser-What did Columbus do immediately after he set foot on the New World?

Answer: Take the other foot.

Interesting brain teaser-what makes people keep eating, but never get enough?

Answer: air.

Funny brain teaser-is there any way to make eyebrows grow under your eyes?

Answer: handstand

Funny brain teaser-what is the thing that makes everyone forget before going to bed?

Answer: Close your eyes.

Funny brain teaser-some people say that eating fish can avoid myopia. Why?

Answer: Have you ever seen a cat wear eyes?

Funny brain teaser-there is an old man who lives on 12 floor. Why never take the elevator?

Answer: Because he lives on the first floor.

Funny brain teaser-what animal did you hit and shed your own blood?

Answer: mosquitoes

Funny brain teaser-what can and can't be added?

Answer: age

Funny brain teaser-Xiaoyang's homework has always been the first in the class. Why did it fall to the third place this time?

Answer: Because two people scored higher than him.

Funny brain teaser-what kind of mountains and seas can move?

Answer: A sea of people.

Funny brain teaser-what is the book that normal people don't read?

Answer: blind books

What has no tongue in its mouth?

Answer: teapot mouth

Funny brain teaser-what kind of official can't give orders, but always smiles at others?

Answer: Xin Langguan

Interesting brain teaser-a policeman ran away when he saw the thief. Why?

Answer: I want to catch the thief quickly.

Funny brain teaser-Xiaoming eats gum every day, and others say he has bad breath. Why?

A: He swears every day.

Funny brain teaser-Why can frogs jump higher than trees?

Answer: Because he stood on the tree and jumped.

What is white plus white?

White rabbits (two)

What did Kirin become when she went to the North Pole?

Ice unicorn

What are cloth and paper afraid of?

Cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

I am a bean, and I am very discouraged. What can make me stand up again?

Pig encouragement bean

Think hard: four-word idiom one

Without hesitation

What letter is an animal? Note: refers to pronunciation

B = bee (bee)

Why is there no sound when the cat walks?

No high heels.

Why do blacks like to eat white chocolate?

Afraid of biting your hand

When will the clock in Times Square strike 13?

When should it be repaired?

Idiom 15:

1. Blue knife and blue gun-invulnerability (blue)

2. The man in gold-a great man.

3. The number "3" walked on the road ... and did a somersault ...-Here we go again.

4. A dog stopped barking after crossing the wooden bridge-

The mobile phone must not fall into the toilet and get wet-it's now or never (it must not get wet).

6. the eleventh book-unbelievable (book 1 1)

7. A bee stops on the calendar-the sun is shining (the bee and the calendar).

8. Cattle, dogs, pigs and sheep race. After running to the finish line, all the cows, dogs and pigs were panting, except the sheep, which was proud (the sheep didn't exhale).

10. Magic soap made from pig liver and bear bile-treating liver and gallbladder with each other (hepatobiliary soap).

1 1. Cows are called calves when they are young. What should rabbits and turtles be called when they were young? Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch.

12. Where is the middle between the underworld and death? The morgue.

13. What are the main ingredients of birth control pills? Antibiotics.

14. Why don't fireworks hit stars? -because the stars will "flash".

15. What should I call a woman who has been divorced many times? -abandon the former "public"

0 1 Bear comes prepared.

The eleventh book is incredible (BOOK 1 1)

What kind of bat doesn't need to rest and be untidy (bat)

It's amazing that a person is painted gold (a golden person)

The sheep stopped breathing and stood high (the sheep didn't exhale)

Don't drop your mobile phone in the toilet. Opportunity knocks but once.

Xiaoyu told Xiaoming that her father was impotent and couldn't stop (Jade's father couldn't).

Dogs can't bark when crossing a wooden bridge, and they never forget anything.

Bees stop on the calendar. Sunny weather (bees and calendars)

10 Kill two birds with one stone

1 1 A group of women are talking nonsense (no chicken talk)

12 A group of people threw eggs at the gun, and bullets rained down.

13 painters prefer to draw thick ropes to draw thin ropes.

14 Love at first sight for the piano under construction (piano under construction)

15 eating with chopsticks is very popular (chopsticks are for people)

16 chicken-duck dialogue: chicken and duck talk.

17 got all 101.

18 There are ten sheep, nine are squatting in the sheepfold and one is squatting in the pigsty (one sheep is squatting wrong).

19 the sheep called the eagle, and the eagle picked up the phone and said "hello", and obeyed Yin (the sheep called the eagle "hello")

Who doesn't have a phone? Tianyi (Tianyi Seamless Mobile Phone)

2 1 Who knows birds best? A frightened bird knows a bird.

Why did the ancients lie on the ice and beg for carp? Bing bing you Li

Why does a stallion run faster than a mare? Whip the flying horse to a faster speed-accelerate.

The hat is dirty. Why should it be turned over? Zhang Guan Dai Li (wearing a dirty crown)

Why do newborn children die? go/walk through fire and water―defy all difficulties and dangers

Why is it so melancholy to paint the knife blue? Inviolability (blue)

Why did the teacher remind us to cherish the four arrows when we were young? Time flies (four arrows)

Why is the middle school attached? Stillbirth (attached middle school)

How to keep ducks from flying away? Give it a wing.

How to make sparrows quiet? Press it (mute)

3 1 How to make things bigger? (It's cold) Endurance is great.

What kind of snake has many mouths? Collision (snake)

The one who washes his face is called a washbasin. What about the one who washed his hands? Golden basin (wash one's hands in golden basin)

What juice tastes the worst? rack one's brains

What can you see on the guillotine in hell? stealthy

Who can easily finish three years of high school? Teacher Rui (I can't believe it. Please read ?ㄤ)

How to distinguish a delicious butcher shop from a dog meat shop? Dog meat shops will hang sheep's heads at the door (selling dog meat by hanging sheep's heads)

Why do you tell a cold joke three times at a time? Think twice before you act (think twice before you act)

Why do cats like to hit people? (This question is white enough and rotten enough) Because cats like "cats"? box

How much do 40 stars weigh? 8 grams (Starbucks Star 8 grams)

4 1 What will happen after Miller of the electric motorcade dies? Maitreya

Why is "seven ups and eight downs" seven ups and eight downs? (it's too much to play ~ ~) because "eight is below seven"

Why can't you see God's dick? Don't reveal the secret.

Which song has the lyrics of "CoCo Lee"? The moon represents my heart ("CoCo Lee", how much I love you ...)

What exercise do you want to do with your back? (This is more skirts) Jane sports.

Which snake has the strongest vitality? A three-inch golden tongue (snake)

Why are icebergs "horns"? The other foot was broken by the Titanic.

Why don't men go out? Because when you go out, you become a "layman"

What chair do you like best? enjoy

Why am I born cold? Because I want to, so I am (I am ~ ~, so I am)

1. Two people go to the seaside to play. Suddenly, a man was swept away by the waves. The name of the person swept away is Xiao Ming. What's the other guy's name?

2. What is a transparent sword?

A little white cat fell into the river, and a little black cat saved it. Excuse me, what is the first sentence of the little white cat landing?

4. Does the sun wake the rooster or does the rooster wake the sun?

Medium rare steak meets medium rare steak. Why don't they say hello?

6. What's the difference between a person falling from the fourth floor and a person falling from the fortieth floor?

Answer:

1, help ~

2. Invisibility (sword)

3. meow ~

It's a rooster, because the sun won't crow.

5. Because they are unfamiliar.

6. One is: bang-ah, and the other is: ah-bang.