Love can't dissolve the loneliness of life--on the emotion in Yu Xiuhua's poems.

Yu Xiuhua, 1976, from Hengdian Village, Shipai Town, Zhongxiang City, Hubei Province. He suffered from miscarriage and lack of oxygen at birth, which led to cerebral palsy, inconvenient movement and slurred speech. At the age of 0/9, Yu Xiuhua/Kloc-was arranged by his parents to marry Yin Shiping, a man ten years older than him, and got pregnant with a son.

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In more than ten years of marriage, her sensitive and eager heart was greatly tortured. She once recited a poem "My little dog, named Little Witch" in the auditorium of Renmin University of China. This poem writes:

He was drunk. He said there was a woman in Beijing.

Better looking than me. When they are desperate, they go dancing.

He likes dancing women.

I like watching them shake their asses.

He said they would call the bed, and the voice was very nice. Unlike me, I said nothing.

And always cover your face.

After this poem made her famous, she encountered great difficulties in asking her husband for a divorce. Her husband disagreed with the divorce, saying everywhere that he had been a cow and horse in Yu Jia for 20 years. Husband and family get together, and when talking about this poem, it is full of satire on Yu Xiuhua, saying that Yu Xiuhua is famous and rich now, and he wants to get rid of his bad husband and find another lover. Yin Shiping said that the poem she wrote was not true. He never said anything like that.

Yu Xiuhua also admitted this. Although her husband Yin Shiping didn't humiliate her like this in front of her, Yu Xiuhua said two other little things that made her feel cold. On rainy days, Yu Xiuhua went to the pond to cut the grass that rabbits eat every day. She is physically disabled and can't walk steadily. Besides, the road was flat and she fell down. Her husband, Yin Shiping, stood at a distance laughing at her instead of running to help her. Another point is that it may do more harm to Yu Xiuhua. The Chinese New Year is coming, and her husband Yin Shiping took her to find the boss who owed 500 yuan salary. He asked Yu Xiuhua to stop the boss's car, because Yu Xiuhua was disabled, and the boss didn't dare to hit her. It would cost more money to hit a disabled person. Yu Xiuhua chilling, ask him, one thousand? What if the boss's car is hit? Her husband stayed by and said nothing.

For women, a man is willing to do a considerate little thing for women, which is far better than a promise of twenty years. Disappointment with marriage is accumulated little by little. Perhaps the root cause is that her husband looks down on her as a disabled person.

Therefore, in her poems, she compares herself with the woman that another husband likes, and uses their performance in a sexual matter for reference to express men's different attitudes.

With the disappointment of reality, this expression is also full of slow disappointment. This is an unhappy woman's accusation against a disrespected relationship and her resistance to unequal marriage.

Yu Xiuhua's mother has always opposed her divorce, fearing that after her and his wife died, Yu Xiuhua would be neglected. Yu Xiuhua's son also opposed her divorce, fearing that people around him would gossip, but Yu Xiuhua himself was unmoved and resolutely divorced. The two sides fought back and forth for two years, and finally she ended the marriage with a house and 6.5438+0.5 million yuan.

She once said in an interview with Phoenix. No one can fully understand another person. A person may understand you on one thing and not on another. The root of human suffering is not the loneliness caused by mutual incomprehension, but the relationship between people. You don't like this relationship. You have to suppress your true emotions to communicate, and you are in pain. The only reason why she insisted on divorce was because she hated her relationship with Yin Shiping and her marriage.

I admire her courage and determination.

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Compared with most female poets in China, Yu Xiuhua's poems are pure and heartfelt, not flowery poems. Her poems are like meteors of language, so brilliant that people are dumbfounded. Her feelings are expressed in generate in her poems, which impact you, make you feel distressed and make your eyes full of tears.

Many people know Yu Xiuhua because of the song "Sleeping You Across Half of China", which is popular on the Internet:

In fact, it is similar to sleeping with you and being slept by you, but it is

The force of collision between two objects is nothing more than the flower driven by this force.

It is nothing more than the imaginary spring of this flower, which makes us mistakenly think that life has been reopened.

In most parts of China, everything is happening: volcanoes erupt and rivers dry up.

Some neglected political prisoners and refugees

Elk and red-crowned crane at gunpoint all the way.

I slept with you through bullets.

I pushed countless nights to sleep with you at dawn.

I am countless, I met one, I sleep with you.

Of course, I will also be led astray by some butterflies.

Think of some praise as spring

Take a village similar to Hengdian as my hometown.

they

Are all necessary reasons for me to sleep with you.

Her rich imagination regards the climax of the integration of spirit and flesh as the spring in life, and everything recovers by the power of love. How passionate she is about the love in the poem, and how similar she is to us in love. Although we all know that the integration of the flesh can not prove the existence of love, nor can it deepen love, but only prove that we have loved without reservation.

Yu Xiuhua longed for love, although her physical disability made her fail in real love many times. People who can understand her soul will not comfort her body; And those who caress her body never care about her soul.

Fortunately, poetry saved her soul. In poetry, she can indulge herself to sleep alone in most of China, feeling deeply and without hesitation.

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Recently, Yu Xiuhua published a new collection of essays, Happiness for No Reason. I bought it and rummaged it. It is well written, with true feelings and unique language. In the opening "Ordinary Life is Romantic", she said to herself: "One of one's misfortunes is that one can't see one's situation clearly. You can only look, but you can't do anything. " If her thinking was not so flexible, imaginative and thoughtful, maybe her pain would be much less.

Therefore, Yu Xiuhua said, we are all just looking for something that paralyzes us: the little paralysis of small affection and love, the big paralysis of fame and fortune, and all happiness is only used to paralyze pain. People are born this way.

At the end of this collection of essays, Yu Xiuhua wrote a love letter to his favorite male poet after his divorce. After several years, her understanding of love has changed again. She wrote in the love letter, "I can only love you with one twentieth of my life." Because everyone is lonely, such loneliness can't be solved by love, so you are allowed to be disappointed in someone while loving them.

This is a special place in Yu Xiuhua. Although she is disappointed in men, she is never disappointed in love. She still writes love poems to express her inner love. At the same time, she also learned to protect herself and not concentrate all her love on one person. After all, once she is disappointed, the whole spiritual world will collapse.

If you have leisure time, you can read Yu Xiuhua's poems. She has published four collections of poems: Moonlight in the Left Hand: Yu Xiuhua's Poems, Interlaced World, Your Tears are Na Pianhai I can't see, We Love and Forget, and the above collection of essays. If you don't feel enough after reading these, you can also watch Fan Jian's Yu Xiuhua documentary "Interlaced World", from which you can probably gain something.

Dust in the text/fireworks: a girl who loves words.