If anyone has a super funny joke, tell me.

The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, not that "More"

"That's it." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there are still none."

"That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily: "Yes. Yes, we have a hundred buns today!”

The little white rabbit took out the money: “Great, I’ll buy two!”

There is a little one! The white rabbit ran happily in the forest.

On the road it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.

The little white rabbit said to the giraffe: "Giraffe, giraffe, why are you doing this?" What about doing things that hurt yourself?

Look at how beautiful this forest is, let’s run in nature together!"

The giraffe looked at the marijuana cigarette and Xiaobai Rabbit, so he threw the marijuana cigarette behind him and followed the little white rabbit running in the forest.

Later they met an elephant who was preparing to smoke cocaine.

The little white rabbit said to the elephant: "Elephant, why do you do things that hurt yourself?

Look at how beautiful this forest is, let's go together Let's run in nature!"

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the little white rabbit, then threw the cocaine behind him,

followed the little white rabbit and the little white rabbit. Giraffes were running in the forest.

Later they met a lion who was preparing to take heroin.

The little white rabbit said to the lion: "Lion, why are you hurting yourself?" What about?

Look at how beautiful this forest is, let’s run in nature together!"

The lion looked at the syringe and the little white rabbit, so Throwing the syringe behind him,

rushed over and beat the little white rabbit hard.

The elephant and giraffe were trembling with fear: "Why are you beating little white rabbit?" Where's the rabbit?

He is so kind, caring about our health and asking us to get close to nature."

The lion said angrily: "This bastard rabbit, he poops every time he takes ecstasy. Follow me

Running around in the forest like an idiot."

On the first day, the little white rabbit went to the river to fish, but he caught nothing and went home.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but still didn’t catch anything and went home.

On the third day, as soon as the little white rabbit arrived at the river, a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

If you dare to use a carrot again, If you use it as bait, I will crush you to death!

In order to test the strength of the police in the United States, Hong Kong, and Mainland China, the United Nations placed three rabbits in three forests to see who of the three police officers could find the rabbit first.

In front of the first forest was the American police. They first spent half a day in a meeting to formulate a combat plan and strictly divided the labor. Then they sent special forces to quickly enter the forest to conduct a blanket search. As a result, the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away, and the mission failed!

Then it was the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent more than a hundred people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest. The leader used a loudspeaker to shout: "Rabbit, rabbit, you have been surrounded. Come out and surrender..." Half a day passed, but there was no movement. The Flying Tigers entered the forest and searched again, but found no results. The mission failed!

Finally, there were only four Chinese policemen. They attacked first. After playing mahjong for a day, one person entered the forest at dusk with a baton. Within five minutes, he heard the screams of animals coming from the forest. One Chinese policeman came out smoking a cigarette, talking and laughing, and dragging behind him was a man with a bruised nose and a swollen face. The bear, dying, said: "Don't fight anymore, I am the rabbit..."

The little white rabbit was walking in the forest and met the big bad wolf walking towards him. He came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers and said, "I want you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit retreated aggrievedly.

The next day, she jumped out of the house wearing a hat, and met the big bad wolf again. He walked up to the little white rabbit and gave the little white rabbit two big mouths, saying, "I Let you wear a hat."

Rabbit was depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.

After explaining the situation, Tiger said, "Okay, I understand. I will handle this matter. You have to trust the organization." That same day, the tiger found his buddy, the big bad wolf. "It's not right for you to do this. It's making it difficult for me." After saying that, he wiped the cigarette ashes falling on the table: "Do you think this is okay? You can say, Tutu, come here and find me a piece of meat." Go! She asked for a fat one, and you said you wanted a thin one. Then you could beat her up, Tutu. I’m looking for a woman. She’s looking for a plump one, and you say you like a slim one. She’s looking for a slim one, and you’re looking for a plump one. You can beat her properly and forcefully.” The big bad wolf nodded frequently and clapped his hands, and his respect for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above guidance work was overheard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I feel this hatred in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence, the big bad wolf came towards him. The Big Bad Wolf said: "Rabbit, come here and find me a piece of meat." Rabbit said: "Then, do you want a fat one or a thin one?" After hearing this, the Big Bad Wolf's heart sank. Another joy, I said to myself, luckily there is Plan B. He then said: "Tutu, find me a woman quickly." Tutu asked: "So, do you like plump ones or slim ones?" The big bad wolf was silent for 2 seconds, raised his hand and said more I gave Tutu two big-eared posts. "Damn, I asked you not to wear a hat."

The bear and the rabbit pooped in the forest. When it was over, the bear asked the rabbit, "Did you shed your fur?" The rabbit said, "No~"

So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his butt.

A rabbit molested a wolf (this rabbit must be very strong),

Then he ran away, and the wolf chased him angrily.

The rabbit Seeing that the wolf was about to catch up,

he sat down under a tree,

put on his sunglasses, read a newspaper, and pretended that nothing happened. It never happened.

At this time, the wolf ran over and saw the rabbit sitting under the tree.

Asked: "Did you see a rabbit running past?"

p>

The rabbit replied: "Is it a rabbit that molested the wolf?"

The wolf shouted: "No way! It was in the newspaper so quickly!!!"

One day a little white rabbit came to a store and asked the boss: "Boss, are there any carrots?"

The boss shook his head: "No."

Little white rabbit After hearing this, he ran away with a "swish".

The next day, the little white rabbit came to the store again and asked: "Boss, are there any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

After hearing this, the little white rabbit ran away with a "whoosh".

On the third day, the little white rabbit came to the store again and asked: "Boss, are there any carrots?"

The boss shouted angrily: "No, no! If you ask me again, I will Use pliers to pull out your teeth!"

The little white rabbit ran away after hearing this.

On the fourth day, the little white rabbit came to the store again and asked timidly: "Boss, do you have any pliers?"

The boss said: "No."

The little white rabbit then asked: "Are there any carrots?"

I don't know how many days later, a little black rabbit came to the store and asked the boss: "Boss, are there any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The little black rabbit ran away after hearing this.

The next day the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked: "Boss, are there any carrots?"

The boss was very angry: "No! If you ask again, I will use pliers." Pull out your teeth!"

After hearing this, the little black rabbit ran away.

On the third day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked timidly: "Boss, do you have any pliers?"

The boss said angrily: "No."

p>

The little black rabbit then asked: "Are there any carrots?"

The boss was angry, caught the little black rabbit, took out a small hammer, and knocked out the little black rabbit's teeth. .

On the fourth day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked vaguely: "Boss, is there any carrot juice?"

The giraffe said: "Little rabbit, really I hope you can know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what delicious food I eat, it will pass through my long neck slowly, and the delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The rabbit looked at him expressionlessly.

"And, in the summer, rabbit, the cool water slowly flowing over my long neck is so delicious. It's great to have a long neck! Rabbit, can you imagine?"< /p>

The rabbit said slowly: "Have you ever vomited?"

One day, the kangaroo was driving around on the country road and suddenly saw the little white rabbit in the middle of the road, with its ears and body He was almost lying on the ground and seemed to be listening to something...

So... the kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously: "Little white rabbit, may I ask what you are listening to?"

"A large truck passed by here half an hour ago..."

"Wow...so amazing!...How did you know?..."

"He XX! That’s how my neck and legs were broken..."

The ant was walking in the forest and suddenly encountered an elephant. The ant quickly dug into the soil and stretched out one leg.

The little white rabbit was very curious when he saw it, and asked: What are you doing?

The ant quietly said to it:

Shh... don't make any sound, look at me. Trip and somersault...

One day the rabbit was writing in front of a cave. A wolf came over and asked: "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied: "I'm writing a paper."

The wolf asked again: "What topic?"

The rabbit replied: "I'm writing about how the rabbit ate the wolf."

p>

The wolf laughed loudly and expressed disbelief.

The rabbit said: "Follow me." After taking it into the cave, the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. At this time, another fox came and asked: "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied: "I am writing a paper."

The fox asked: "What The question? "

The rabbit answered: "How did the rabbit eat a fox?"

The fox laughed after hearing this and expressed disbelief.

The rabbit said: "You come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit walked out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.

At this time, a lion was sitting on a pile of white bones in the cave, picking his teeth, and reading the rabbit's paper: The ability of an animal is not determined by its strength, but by its strength. It depends on who is the boss behind it!

In a mental hospital, one day the director wanted to see how the three mental patients were recovering, so he put a little white rabbit in front of each of them. The first mental patient sat on the On top of the little white rabbit, he grabbed the two ears of the little white rabbit and shouted "drive". The dean shook his head; the second person turned his back to the little white rabbit, patted its butt and said "Chase for me", the dean sighed; the third one squatted there and kept touching the little white rabbit. After the dean looked at it, he nodded with satisfaction and only heard him say: "You are a small one, let you go 300 yuan." Mi, wait until I clean the car before I chase you!" The dean fell to the ground and fainted...

The little white rabbit and the big bear were squatting under the tree to defecate.

The big bear said to the little white rabbit: Although you little white rabbits are good-looking, you are troublesome! You can see it if you get some dirt on it, which is quite disgusting!

Little white rabbit Said: Look what you said! Isn’t that right!

The big bear said: Isn’t it! As the big bear said, he picked up the little white rabbit, wiped his butt and walked away

The little white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a pot.

A spirit came out of the pot and said it could grant them three wishes each.

The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish came true.

The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish also came true.

The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish came true again.

The little white rabbit said, give it a bicycle. Its wish came true again.

The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches!

The little white rabbit got on the bicycle and said while running, turning this bear into a homosexual...

Three little white rabbits picked a mushroom

The two older ones asked the younger one to get some wild vegetables to eat together

The younger one said I won’t go You guys will eat my mushrooms when I leave

The two big ones said they didn’t know how to do it, so they went and the little white rabbit went~~~

Half a year passed and the little white rabbit went The white rabbit hasn't come back yet. One big one said it won't come back. Let's eat it.

The other big one said wait a little longer~~~

A year has passed for the little white rabbit. The two big ones haven't come back yet, so we don't have to wait and we can eat.

At this moment, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the jungle next to it and said angrily: Look! I knew you were going to eat me. Mushrooms

1. Once upon a time, a man went fishing and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: Please let me go, don’t roast me to eat.

The man said: Okay, then let me ask you a few questions.

The squid was very happy and said: You take the test, you take the test!

Then the man grilled the squid...

2: I once got it Schizophrenia, but now we have recovered.

3: An international student was taking a driver’s license test in the United States. The road sign in front of him told him to turn left. He was not sure and asked the examiner:

“Turn left?”

Answer : "right"

So...died..

4: One day, Mung Bean committed suicide by jumping off the 5th floor. He bled a lot and turned into red bean; he kept bleeding pus. , turned into soybeans again; the wounds became scarred, and finally turned into black beans.

5: Xiao Ming had his hair cut, and when he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he Run outside and cry. Crying and crying~ he flew up...

6: There was a man who looked like an onion and cried as he walked...

7: Little One day the penguin asked his grandma, "Grandma, grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asked his father again, "Dad, daddy, am I a penguin?" Yes, you are a penguin, what's wrong?" "But, why do I feel so cold?"

8: A pair of corns fell in love...

So they decided to get married. …

On the wedding day…

One corn couldn’t find another corn…

This corn asked the popcorn next to him: Have you seen our home? Is there any corn?

Popcorn: My dear, she is wearing a wedding dress...

9: In music class, the teacher played a piece by Beethoven

Xiao Ming asked Xiao Hua: "Do you know music?"

Xiao Hua: "Yes"

Xiao Ming: "Then do you know what the teacher is playing?"< /p>

Xiaohua: "Piano."

1 Where do users like to shut down their phones the most?

Ningbo

Because someone said: Sorry, the user you dialed has shut down. . .

2. Which two vegetables use mobile phones? Carrots and cabbages

3. Who is the Chinese person Phelps admires most?

Ba Jin

4. One day, Eggplant was walking on the street when he suddenly hit a A big sneeze.

It wiped its nose and said angrily: "

*** is taking group photos again!"

5. The old leader sighed,

You are so many How happy,

There are girls everywhere,

Not only did I have no girls when I was on a business trip,

When I came back, the whole family of seven crowded together,

If you want to get intimate

you have to throw some candy outside the door,

then shout:

"Children, I'm going to hold your mother down and grab the candy!" ! ”

6. Where do mobile phone users like to go?

Tonghua, Jilin

"Sorry, the user you dialed is currently on a call"

7. Doctor~ see me quickly! I have amnesia!

When did you find out you had this disease?

What disease...?

8. One day, the coffee cup and the glass were walking on the road at the same time. Suddenly someone from behind shouted: "Be careful, there's a car!"

As a result, the glass was smashed. . . The coffee cup is fine. Why?

Because coffee cups have ears but glass cups don’t.

9. A: How much is your annual salary?

B: 8 million.

A: That’s 800,000 yuan a month

B: Yes, this is the basic salary.

A: Not bad, what do you do?

B: Dreaming

10. What is your last name?

My surname is Wei

What is Wei?

For no reason, my dad’s surname is Wei and my surname is Wei~

11. In front of a Lanzhou ramen restaurant,

“Boss, pull a bowl of noodles!”

"If you dare to eat, I dare to eat!"

"..."

12. Who lives in darkness?

Tinker Bell (because he couldn’t see his fingers)

13. A child and his father went to the public bathhouse to take a bath.

Because the ground was relatively wet, The little guy slipped, and in desperation he grabbed his father's penis without slipping.

But it hurt his father so much that he scolded him, "You brat,

If you come here with your mother, I will throw you to death"

14 .There was a buck that ran faster and faster on the road and finally turned into a high-speed buck

There was a careful buck that ran faster and faster on the road and finally turned into a careful high-speed buck

15.. Cars can fly.

Guess a drink...

Because...(Car)-(flying)

16. I Come on

Why do George W. Bush and his wife always have women on top when they have sex?

Answer: Because George W. Bush is always **** UP!

How many letters are left after removing e and t from 17.26 letters?

21, because ET traveled by UFO

1. An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea, but it turned into a tea egg; an egg went to swim in the Songhua River, and the result It turned into a preserved egg; an egg ran to Shandong and turned into a Lu (stewed) egg; an egg was homeless and turned into a pheasant egg; an egg accidentally fell down on the road , fell to the ground and turned into a missile; an egg ran into someone's yard and turned into an atomic bomb; an egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into a hydrogen bomb; an egg got sick and turned into a villain ; An egg got married and turned into a bastard; an egg ran to swim in the river and turned into a nuclear bomb; an egg ran into flowers and turned into a heroine; an egg rode a horse, Holding a knife, it turns out that he is Dao Ma Dan; one of the eggs is female and looks ugly, so he turns into a dinosaur egg; one of the eggs is male, and his wife commits adultery with other eggs outside, so he turns into a dinosaur egg. 2. One day, two ice cream sticks were swimming in a competition. They swam and swam, and in the end both ice cream sticks melted.

3. Four people were playing mahjong in the house. Police came and took away five people. Why?

——Because the person they play is called "Mahjong".

5. When Xiao Ming came home, the dog next door suddenly ran out and bit him. In anger, he picked up the bamboo and wanted to beat it. The owner of the dog was unhappy when he saw Xiao Ming beating his dog and said: Beat it. Dogs also need to look after their owners, haven’t you heard? At this time Xiao Ming said: OK! I will spank your dog while watching you.

6. Xiao Ming stepped in poop, why didn’t his shoes get dirty? Because he didn’t wear shoes~

7. Six-year-old Xiaofang is very cute and is often proposed to by the boys in the class.

One day, Xiaofang came home and said to her mother: "MAMA! Today Xiaoqiang proposed to me and asked me to marry him..."

MAMA said casually: "He has a fixed "Xiao Fang thought for a while and said: "He is the one who cleans the blackboard in our class.

8. Xiao Ming has just entered elementary school and has finished his first monthly exam. Mom is very nervous about his grades...

Mom: "Xiao Ming, how did you do in this exam? ”

Xiao Ming: “Oh! These are all levels of deceiving children! "

My mother was secretly happy after hearing this. She must have done well in the exam to say that, so she continued to ask...

Mother: "Then you did well in the exam?" ”

Xiao Ming: “Because I am still a child, so I have been deceived~”

9. A long time ago, there was a stray puppy who lived on the street in order to stay alive. He walked around in search of food. He crossed countless cities and walked alleys. Finally, he came to a desert. He wanted to cross the desert, so he walked and walked and walked... Tired and dry, he finally lay down. He then said something: "Why am I as tired as a dog? ”

10. Chongchong: Xiaohua, did you use my pencil?

Xiaohua: No, I didn’t use it.

Chongchong: You really Useless?

Xiaohua: I’m so useless!

Chongchong: Alas, you are the 17th person to admit that you are useless

11. Xiao Zhu was invited to Xiao Wen's home. . .

In Xiao Wen's home, Xiao Wen always calls his wife "dear".

Xiao Zhu was very touched when he saw this and said: "It's really not easy for you! We have been married for almost 10 years, and you still call your wife so sweetly..."

< p>"Actually," Xiaowen whispered, "I have forgotten her name for a long time..."

12. Patient: "Doctor, I have a bad cough."

< p>Doctor: "How old are you?"

Patient: "Seventy-five years old."

Doctor: "Does a twenty-year-old cough?"

Patient: "No cough."

Doctor: "Do you have a cough when you are forty years old?"

Patient: "No cough either."

Doctor: " If you don’t cough now, when will you wait until you do? ”

13. A group of patients in a mental hospital were bothered by the need to be discharged, so the director relaxed the rules. All patients who wanted to be discharged must be discharged. To pass the following test: Dean: Where are the eyes?

Patient: The eyes are here (pointing to the eyes)

Dean: Where is the nose?

Patient: The nose is here (pointing to the nose)

Dean: Where are the ears?

Patient: The ear is here (point to the ear)

As long as the location can be pointed out correctly, the patient can be discharged.

One day, Patient A applied for discharge and passed the above-mentioned tests, so he happily returned to the ward to pack his luggage and prepare to be discharged. Patient B, who was in the same room, shouted in surprise: "No way, no way. Your condition is more serious than mine, and I can’t even pass it. How can you pass it?” Patient A said, “Shh~ don’t tell others, I did it on my back!

14. One day, Wang Mr. Wang noticed that his 5-year-old son, Xiao Ming, was behaving strangely.

As evening approached, he stood by himself outside the window and waved, and seemed to be muttering something quietly.

Mr. When he walked behind Xiao Ming, he heard Xiao Ming say: "Goodbye, father-in-law, goodbye, father-in-law..."

Mr. Wang looked out the window and saw no one. It had been like this for several days. , Xiao Ming stood at the window, repeating the words that made Mr. Wang’s hair stand on end.

Finally, Mr. Wang couldn’t help it anymore, and called his son over, “Xiao Ming, who are you talking to at this time every day. Say goodbye? ”

“Father-in-law. "Xiao Ming looked innocent.

Mr. Wang's scalp exploded when he heard this, "Which...which father-in-law?"

"Father-in-law Sun~"

15. The neighbor went to take a bust photo at a snapshot booth near the market. . She entered the pavilion, took a photo, and waited for the photo to be developed automatically. When the photo came out, she picked it up and looked at it. She exclaimed, "Oh my god, my photo looks like a monkey!" There was a woman behind her. He said coldly: "I'm sorry, that's mine, yours will have to wait for five minutes."

16. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid boy?" Dad Said: "Silly boy, how could you be a stupid boy?"

17. The father told his son a story: Once upon a time there was a frog...

Son: Is there any science fiction story?

Father: Once upon a time there was a frog in space...

Son: Are there any restricted ones?

Father: Shhh, keep your voice down, don’t let your mother hear you. Once upon a time there was a naked frog...