China Classical Funny Sticker

1. Classical Chinese funny sentences 1. Haha, Mulan flies a plane. What plane does she fly? Boeing 747.

I resigned from Beijing last year and lived in Tokyo, where I was ill. There was no music in Tokyo, and Sima Guang was not heard at the end of the year.

3. Money is what I want; Beauty is what I want. You can't have your cake and eat it, and those who give up money for beauty are also.

I don't leave my grandfather here, I have my own place to leave my grandfather, and I don't leave my grandfather anywhere. I will go to the railway.

I was sick when I was a child, not when I was nine. Alone, as for the establishment of a new China. There are no handsome guys, and finally there are beautiful women. The door is weak and thin, and there is a rest at night.

Liu Suying's illness is often in the sky. Chen Shi urine soup, never expired.

7. Be soft when you catch the sacred dynasty; Li Kui JY, the former satrap, loved Fang La more. From the Secretariat in Leslie Cheung, a courtier and a slave.

8. The imperial edict is strict, and I am in charge of Altman. The whole universe forced me to hang myself. I must obey.

9. I can live for a hundred years without my grandmother; Grandma can live for a thousand years without a minister. Mother and son can't compare with turtles.

10. Chen Mi has two out of twenty this year, and Grandma has nine out of ninety this year. Please forgive my affair.

2. Ask for a funny version of classical Chinese. Mulan flies a plane. What kind of plane does she fly? Boeing 747! Ask the woman what she thinks and what she remembers. She wants to, and she has no money to buy a plane. Last night, she saw a military poster and needed bombers and 12 planes, but she couldn't afford one. Grandpa didn't have much money, Mulan didn't have gold and silver, so she was willing to buy steel planes from now on. She buys drawings in the east, screws in the west, glass in the south and tin in the north. She refused to go to the old hangar, no but I heard the general shout hahaha. Wan Li flew the plane, but never closed the mountain for a moment. The hot air spreads on the wings and the sun shines on the glass. The general is scared to death, and the soul of a strong man has flown. The son of heaven is lying in a hospital bed. The director turned twelve times and gave them a slap in the face. Khan asked him what he wanted, but Mulan didn't want to go into the cell. I want to drive 747 and fly back to my hometown. My parents heard the girl's voice and picked up the machine gun. As soon as Sister A heard that Sister Mei was coming, she raised her hand and raised her gun. I heard that my sister came, and my brother sharpened his knife and turned mentally retarded. I opened my cabin door, entered my plane cabin, took off my wartime robe, put on my flight suit, put on more grenades, and planted machine guns outside. When they went out to bury bombs, relatives and friends were surprised and busy: Twelve years apart, I didn't know Mulan was going crazy. The madman stepped on the ground, the idiot's eyes were closed, and the two walked side by side. Who can say I'm not normal?

Haha, I want to eat KFC. I don't smell saliva, but I smell a woman's sigh. Ask a woman what she thinks and what she remembers. Women think of hamburgers, but women remember chicken wings. I saw the chicken coupon last night, and there was a big sale on the festival day. Twelve chicken coupons and a chicken wing. Grandpa has no eldest son and Mulan has no big brother. She is willing to go to KFC to feed him from now on. Buy hamburgers in the East Store, drinks in the West Store, chicken wings in the South Store and French fries in the North Store. When I said goodbye to my parents, I was by the Yellow River at dusk. I didn't hear my parents calling for a female voice, but I heard the splash of hamburgers. But when I left the Yellow River, I went to Montenegro at dusk. I didn't hear my parents calling for a female voice, but I heard the smell of chicken wings chirping. The more the Great Wall of Wan Li spans, the more Mount Everest flies. Banks send gold coins and emperors send sweaters. Hens die every year, and Mulan returns in ten years. Come back to see Confucius, and Confucius will sit in the sky. Twelve chicken coupons and a hundred baskets of chicken. Confucius asked him what he wanted, but Mulan didn't want to be an angel. She is willing to drive 1000 miles to send her son home. When parents heard that their daughter was coming, they went out to help the general: a sister heard that her sister was coming and wanted to eat KFC; I heard that my sister is coming and is going to eat. Open my East Pavilion pot, take my West Pavilion spoon, take off my wartime robe, put on my napkin, take chopsticks from the window and eat in front of the mirror. When I went out to meet the fire companions, I was surprised and busy: I had been wandering together for twelve years, but I didn't know Mulan was so greedy. The male rabbit's mouth is three valves, and the female rabbit's eyes are blurred; There are two rabbits eating next to me. Can you tell if I am greedy?

If you don't know, you won't know; It's enough to take the exam, but there is no problem; If you don't know in class, you will make a lot of styles; Self-study is the same as knowledge, you are all born; Born in China, died in China; It is possible for me to learn English. English is not qualified, which shows my character; If the math is unqualified, the teacher takes full responsibility; What should I do if the language is unqualified? Doing well in the exam depends entirely on isolation; If you don't do well in the exam, you don't know how to do it in isolation; Going back to school every day is even more scary, and the teacher talks about the wild. I listened like a sleepwalker, criticizing for no reason; Homework is like revenge, and doing wild things is like fishing for the head; Going back to school is left-handed, getting worse every day; Copy your homework, and none of the departments will hand it in; Go back to school and drink coke after school; Ring the bell and fly separately, another day.

After hee hee hee, the pretty girl is on the plane; I can't smell the dial tone, only women sigh. Ask a woman what she thinks and what she does.

Memories; Women have nothing to think about, and women have nothing to remember. I was really shocked when I went online last night; Twelve letters from my sister were all invited to the Internet.

Maybe next time. The beautiful girl is married and has taken someone else's surname; The purpose of surfing the Internet is to entertain ourselves and make new friends. Oriental version of leisure, western version

Write an autobiography; South to talk about heart songs, north to talk. Face up to the internet and connect at dusk; I didn't hear my husband call him his wife.

Sound, but the smell of insects constantly singing.

Once you quit the chat room, you will stop chatting. I didn't smell insects, but I saw invitations flying all over the sky.

Seeing her husband offline, her husband burst into tears; If you only care about Internet addiction, you are in debt. Ask the woman where she is going, and confess to her father.

Mother; Take a thousand miles to go to an appointment to tell your heart. Hearing the news of my daughter, I was anxious to hide everywhere. Sister, I heard that sister is coming, so lock it up quickly.

Doors and windows; Hearing my sister coming, I climbed up the east wall in a panic. Open my old door and move your arhat bed; Break into my old cupboard and search for you.

Password box. When you count the money at the window, go to the airport immediately. Seeing netizens thousands of miles away, their eyes sparkle; On the same network for a month, no

Do you know what a beautiful girl looks like?

Dinosaurs are shy, and pretty girls are puffed up. They are all chatting online, so I can tell what kind of person I am.

3. Kneeling for Super Funny Classical Chinese Original: Your mother is so old that if I hadn't stayed to fuck you, today I would have said that I would close my eyes and take a nap, no less than two or three sentences. Angry and dozing, not only me, but also me. Even if I didn't lose my mind, I was wronged. What can you do? If you really have the ability, why are more than half of the students lying on the chopping board? Six out of ten people hate you. Are you okay? The numbers are obvious. Let bygones be bygones, but today's events are hateful and make me angry. Mother, I am sincere. I am not happy about my mother's death. If my grades are not in your hands, my dead teacher will at least refute you two or three sentences! I'm not the only one who dozes off. Why do you only miss me? And I'm not completely asleep, which is really wrong! What gift do you have? If you are really capable, why do more than half of the students who sleep at their desks hate you, and six out of ten students hate you? Do you teach well? Judging from the number of people sleeping, I know I won't care about what happened before, but as far as today's things are concerned, you are really hateful and make me really angry! Shit, * * *.

4. What are the funny self-created paragraphs in classical Chinese? 1: There was a fish named Kunda in the north of Ming Dynasty.

One pot can't be stewed.

Turn it into a bird, called Pumbaa-sized bird.

We need two barbecue grills.

A polysaccharide and a slightly spicy.

Have a bottle of snowflakes.

Let's face the world bravely.

2. An official sitting in court occasionally farts and says "refreshing". Officials don't know, and they mistakenly think that they are rewarding officials, hoping to win their favor. They knelt down and said, thank you for your reward!

3: The monkey died, saw Hades and asked for a replacement. The king said, "If you want to be a man, you must pull out all your hair." He's the one who told the hag to do it and pulled out one. The monkey is in great pain. Wang smiled and said, "Bastard, how can you be a man without money?"

4. Isn't it a pleasure to have friends come from afar and whip them dozens of times to drive them away from the hospital?

5. Confucius said: It's not appropriate to hit with bricks. It depends on your face. You can't shout any more. Your right hand is almost finished with your left hand, and the brick is almost broken with your shoes. You are dying, but you are not dead. How can you be alone with your friends? It's an honor.

Classical Chinese is a processed written language based on ancient Chinese. The earliest written language based on spoken language may have been processed. Classical Chinese is an article composed of written language in ancient China, mainly including written language based on spoken language in pre-Qin period. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, no articles were invented to record characters, but bamboo slips, silks and other things were used to record characters, and silks were expensive, bamboo slips were huge and the number of words recorded was limited. In order to record more things on a roll of bamboo slips, unimportant words were deleted. Later, when "paper" was used on a large scale, the habit of using "official documents" among the ruling classes had been finalized, and the ability to use "classical Chinese" had evolved into a symbol of reading and literacy. Classical Chinese comes from vernacular Chinese, characterized by writing based on words, paying attention to the use of allusions, parallel prose, and neat melody, including strategies, poems, words, songs, stereotyped writing, parallel prose and other styles. The classical Chinese in modern books are generally marked with punctuation marks in order to facilitate reading and understanding.

When I was in middle school, I found a spoof article linking ancient Chinese, but the website Baidu was not allowed to post it, and neither was the content. Please leave an email. Text: The gentleman said: Oh, let a man with spirit take risks in his favorite place, fuck a thousand songs and make a sound.

On the evening of 20061October 12, General Xiang Chong set off happily. Just as my fair lady has nothing to do with pleasure, she suffers from chaos and lack of sleep.

Take off your clothes and want to sleep, revealing your breasts. When a general is in his prime, he will leap forward in policy.

From the mouth, through the outside straight, not through the disease. She brushed the strings, twisted slowly, swept and plucked. On the other hand, she gradually heard the sound of water gurgling between the two peaks.

The woman was not happy either, so the general persevered and made great efforts, and her daughter surged, making a huge soup sound, ringing up and down, wailing for a long time and howling: "Alas! Ha ha! Ouch! Ha ha. How happy I am! What a pleasure! " The average shooter is no longer quiet, sitting there with his hands touching Yin Qi and sighing. The next day, the general reported to the first emperor, who called it energy.

Her daughter has less leisure in the second month and twice as busy in May. Her name ranks first in the list of musicians, winning her fickle fate.

If the guest has air holes, don't bend your fingers when you fly to gargle. The first emperor waved his whip to the east, saying, "One man can keep it, but ten thousand people can't force it!" Therefore, the first emperor and his daughter boarded the building.

His daughter gave birth to Ceng Yun, and she is still singing Flowers. The first emperor sighed, "It's not that chrysanthemums are preferred among flowers, but that this flower is even more flowerless!" " Finally, you get a chrysanthemum.

However, the daughter is full of resentment, such as admiration. The first emperor hesitated, and she was worried about advancing and retreating. Her daughter is exhausted and doesn't know the heat. She was tired and tired, and suddenly it was windy and rainy, and the spring was harmonious. Fortunately, it's even awkward.

His daughter sobbed, "It's immoral to come and not go!" Therefore, if you want to tell the first emperor, the first emperor will be defeated and flee, saying, "Jade can be seen from a distance, not ridiculous." The reason is considerable. If the husband is a lady, so is the poet.

So be patient, do whatever you want, and go it alone for hundreds of years. This so-called relaxation is moderate and invincible.

6. Ask for funny phrases in classical Chinese. The more concise the writing, the better.

Wu's fable: Wu, a native of Huaiyou Prefecture, drinks in the city every day, is drunk and crazy, and runs away to the city. 4. Walkers avoid it. City pawn Wen Wumu. Animal husbandry and machinery, for the operator to transfer 500, so as to protect and return the right. Five hundred people criticized Fatu and said, "Madman, I have a battle of thousands of miles, and I am bitter." Every morning, it is the way to get there, and after that, you can't rest; At night, you will lick your feet until you run to the cow. Tuotu went out to the gold market to fight for wine. In the evening, he drank 500 yuan and lost his head. He was stripped of ink and clothes, and with the help of machinery, he collapsed and fled. Tomorrow, the sun is shining, 500 people wake up, the pagoda is gone and the wall is broken. He said, "Hey, he can't escape." He used clothes as ink, followed his head and stopped giving them away. He is too stiff to leave home. He shouted, "I'm crazy, so I lost my ear alone."

Every time a guest sees Wu, Wu laughs at himself.

The old man said: This is hardly a fantasy. The people who lost me in the world are not only one person in Wu's 500-year-old life, but also those who are not proud or tired. What you sent to see glory and resilience were all foreign things, not so-called evil? It is glorious to die now. Those who come to collect the body will prosper day by day, while those who care will change with the delivery. People who live in harmony are not doing well now, and their self-esteem is almost different from that in the past. Is there a gap between it and Wu Baiguo? My old friend or film (3) wants to be in China, so this book should stay. ("Southern Song Dynasty Wu 500" Volume 20)

[attention]

Yi: Chang is stupid.

(2) by accident.

③ Biao: qn horse runs fast, which means suddenly.

7. Improper selection of paragraphs in ancient classical Chinese.

Online and in bookstores. For example, the joke is that a scholar will be seventy years old and suddenly gave birth to a son.

Born in age, that is, named age. A little later, I gave birth to another son, who seems to be able to read and learn by name.

The next year, another son was born. Smile: 62616964757a68696416fe58685e5aeb931333656461"It's a joke to have children at such an old age."

Because of the name "joke". When they were old and had nothing to do, they all ordered to go to the mountains to collect firewood and go home. The husband asked, "Who has more firewood for the third son?" The wife said, "As you get older, you have no knowledge at all, but you have the burden of jokes."

There is a scholar who is nearly seventy years old. His wife suddenly gave birth to a son. She named him "Age" because she was old enough to have a son. Before long, another son was born. He looks like a scholar, so he named him "Xue Xue".

In the third year, another son was born. The scholar smiled and said, "It's a joke to have a son at such a big age." So he named it "Joke".

The three sons had nothing to do when they grew up, so the scholar asked them to go into the mountains to get firewood. When they came back, the husband asked his wife, "Which of the three people has more firewood?" The wife said, "When I am old, I have no knowledge at all, but jokes are a burden." Avoid the original snobs and avoid them every time you come out.

The fellow traveler asked him why, and replied, "Give up my relatives." So many times, colleagues are tired.

Even if I meet a beggar, I will try to avoid him and say, "Give up my relatives." Q: "Why are there such relatives?" He said, "But all the good ones are recognized by you."

There was a vain man who met a passing dignitary when he went out and avoided it. People in the same trade asked him why he did this, and he said, "That's my relative."

This has happened many times, and every time he does this, people in the same industry feel very annoyed. Later, on the road, I suddenly met a beggar, and the people in the same trade also learned to hide from him and said, "That beggar is my relative."

The vain man asked, "Why do you have such poor relatives?" People in the same trade said, "Because all the good things are recognized by you." Villagers who eat olives go to town to drink, and there are olives at the banquet.

The villagers took the spit, which was astringent and tasteless, because they asked the people at the table, "What is this?" The deskmate scorned them with their village spirit: "vulgar." In the name of "vulgarity", the villagers kept it in mind and said, "Today, if you taste the strange things in the city, it is called" vulgarity "."

Everyone didn't believe it, but the man opened his mouth and gasped, "You don't believe it, but now you are full of swearing." A farmer went to a party in town, and there were olives at the party.

The farmer took it to his mouth, which was astringent and not delicious, and asked the person at the same table, "What is this?" Everyone at the same table thought he was vulgar and said contemptuously, "vulgar." The farmer thinks "vulgarity" is an olive name, so he keeps it in mind. When he got home, he said to people, "I ate a strange fruit in the city today, called' vulgar'."

Everyone didn't believe it. The farmer gasped with an open mouth and said, "You don't believe it. Now my mouth is full of swearing. " A person stayed for lunch, and the guest had vomited a bowl, but he didn't add any more rice.

The guest wanted to let the host know, but pretended to say, "So-and-so has a house to sell." Therefore, he said to his master, "The rafters are so big."

The host saw that there was no rice in the bowl and asked the boy to add it. Because he asked the guest, "Does he want geometry?" The guest said, "Since we have food to eat, we won't sell it."

A man left a guest for lunch. The guest has finished a bowl, and no one has given him more rice. The guest wants to let the host know, so he pretends to say, "So-and-so has a house to sell."

Then he deliberately pointed the bowl mouth at the owner and said, "The rafters are as thick as the bowl mouth." The host saw that there was no rice in the bowl, so he quickly called the servant to add rice to him.

Immediately ask the guest, "How much does he sell?" The guest replied, "Since we have food to eat, we won't sell it." Some people are used to telling lies.

Every generation of his servants is round. One day, he said to a man, "My well was blown to the house next door by the strong wind yesterday."

People think that there has been nothing since ancient times. The servant Yuan said, "It's true.

My well is near the neighbor's fence. Last night, it was windy. I saw the fence blowing to the well, but it went to my neighbor's house like a well. One day, he said to people, "Someone shot down a wild goose and put a bowl of noodle soup on his head."

The public was surprised. The servant Yuan said, "So it is.

My master was eating noodle soup in the yard when a wild goose fell and its head fell into the bowl. Isn't it a wild goose with noodle soup? "One day.

He also said to others, "the cold family has a warm weather account, which covers the world tightly without gaps." The servant frowned and said, "Master, how can I hide this lie?"

There is a man who is used to telling lies. His servants always lie for him. One day, he said to a man, "Yesterday, a well in my house was blown to the house next door by the strong wind."

Everyone thinks that such a thing has never happened since ancient times. His servant lied for him and said, "My well is really close to the neighbor's fence. The wind was very strong last night, and the fence was blown to the side of the well, just like the well was blown to the neighbor's house. "

One day, he said to people, "Someone shot down a wild goose and put a bowl of noodle soup on his head." Everyone was surprised and didn't believe what he said.

His servant lied for him again, saying, "It happened. My master is eating noodle soup in the yard. Suddenly, a wild goose fell and its head fell into the bowl. Isn't it covered with noodle soup? " Another day, he said to others: "The cold family has a top temperature account, which covers the world tightly without any gap." Hearing this, the servant frowned awkwardly and said, "The master has gone too far. How can I tell such a big lie to cover it up? "

The scholar peed on the doll for a long time and was frightened. He said, "The school is coming." The doll peed immediately.

The scholar asked him why, and replied, "I think you scholars are scared to pee when they get off the stage." The scholar sighed: "I didn't expect this doll to inherit his father's legacy and be elegant;" I didn't expect this school to be so small that it can pass two stools. "

The servant of the scholar's family held the doll to pee, but the child didn't pee for a long time. The servant startled him and said, "Here comes the learning platform."

The doll peed immediately. The scholar asked him why, and replied, "I saw your scholar come to the learning platform, and he was scared to pee, so I scared him like this."

The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect this doll to inherit his father's wishes and continue studying;" Even more unexpected.

8. Who can give me some funny ancient prose * Bernard Shaw liked riding a bike when he was young. Once he broke his leg bone, and his female classmates took good care of him. Bernard Shaw is worried that he is weak-willed and will propose to this female classmate. He decided to slip away. But he accidentally fell down the stairs and both his legs were broken. As a result, he really asked her if she would marry him. Bernard Shaw fainted when the female classmate nodded. A lady said to Mao Mu: I've been with a man for a long time, but I'm not sure if I'm in love with him. This famous writer has a very unique view on the test of love. He said: there is only one way to test whether you really love him. Would you like to brush your teeth with his toothbrush? Someone asked Dumas: Why can you stride into old age with great composure? He retorted disapprovingly: It took me all my life to live today. When a famous figure in the Tang Dynasty was not an official, he once became seriously ill and said to his wife Lu: If I die of illness, don't be widowed and remarry. Lu went into the room and gouged out an eye to show that she would never change her mind. Later, Fang recovered from illness and rose to the high position of prime minister. She always respected her wife. Detective novelists say: archaeologists are ideal husbands. You see, the older things get, the more he likes them. Voltaire visited Britain on 1727, and he found that the British hated the French very much. A group of Englishmen shouted at him: Kill him and hang the Frenchman! Voltaire said: English! You want to kill me because I'm French. Isn't it hard enough to be punished because I'm not English? The Englishman smiled and sent him all the way back to the apartment.