Physics joke

There was a lady on the bus, and the car suddenly braked. The man standing behind her threw her forward and fell on her. She said angrily, look at you. The person lying on her smiled and said, this is not virtue, but inertia.

Thermal expansion and cold contraction

Dad said, "Everything expands with heat and contracts with cold. This is reasonable. "

His son jumped up and said, "Yo! I see, no wonder my hand was scalded yesterday, and there was a bubble when it was scalded. "

Buy lotus root

The husband bought a few catties of cheap lotus root, thinking that he could show it off to his wife. Unexpectedly, his wife swore: idiot! Why not buy other dishes? This lotus root has at least half a catty of holes! Still say it's cheap?

notification

Navigator: Please report your altitude and position.

Pilot: I am about 1.8 meters high, and I am sitting in the driver's seat now.

supersonic speed

The two old ladies who flew for the first time found the captain before the plane took off and said earnestly, "Please slow down the plane and don't exceed the speed of sound, because we have to talk during the flight."

Contact electricity

The doctor inquired about the broken arm. How did this man get hurt?

Patient: I think there are stones in my shoes.

Doctor: What does this broken arm have to do with this?

Patient: I just hold the telephone pole and shake my shoes.

Doctor:?

Patient: A fool passed by and thought I had been electrocuted, so he picked up a stick. ...

Doctor:!

appeal

Tenant: Those people upstairs are really puzzling. They knocked on my door crazily at two o'clock in the morning. Landlord: Really? Did they wake you? Tenant: No, I'm practicing playing the trumpet.

Eyes are in front of ears.

Teacher: "when it thunders, lightning and thunder are emitted at the same time." Why do we see lightning first and then hear thunder? "

Student: "Because the eyes are in front of the ears."

In midair

One day, I did a physics problem: an object with 10 Newton fell freely from a height of 7 meters. Directly below the object, an object is thrown vertically at a speed of 4 meters per second. Q: When two objects collide, where is it? I was calculating this problem when I suddenly found that my deskmate Wang wrote down the answer at a glance. I was amazed at the speed of writing questions. Look at his answer. It says: In mid-air.

ram

In a physics class, the teacher asked, "What is a completely elastic collision?"

Pippi replied, "Correct billiards table?"

"So what is inelastic collision?"

"Just now' Little' and' Fat Brother' in the class collided at the door of the classroom."

"What about a completely inelastic collision?"

"On the skating rink, the boy accidentally slipped on the girl."

Resistance source

In physics class, the teacher asked the students, "Do you know what resistance is and what power supply is?"

The student replied: "The shopkeeper (resistor) is the owner of the store, and the clerk (power supply) is the buddy of the store."

habit

The physics teacher is talking about inertia, and a student is whispering below. The teacher gave him a hint, but he went his own way.

Teacher: What did I just say?

Student: Inertia

Teacher: Please give an example.

Student: I was just talking below. In spite of your hints, I can't stop at once. This is inertia.

Electrical electrician

In a physics class, the teacher is talking about electricity. Xiao Ming was sleeping soundly. The teacher asked, "What is the unit of electric power?" Xiao Ming stood up and replied back and forth: "The electrician's unit is in the power plant.

physicist

The famous physicist Fei Enman once told a joke:

A woman was stopped for speeding. The policeman said to her, "madam, you are driving at 60 miles an hour!" " "The woman retorted," Sir, this is impossible. I only drove for seven minutes. This is really a big joke! 1 hour without driving. How can I walk 60 miles an hour? " "Ma 'am, I mean, if you keep driving like just now, you will drive 60 miles in the next hour." "This is also impossible." The woman went on to say, "I only need to walk 10 mile to get home, and I don't need to drive 60 miles at all." "

Einstein and Chaplin

The famous scientist Einstein spoke highly of Chaplin's films. On one occasion, he wrote in a letter to Chaplin: "Your film Modern Times can be understood by everyone in the world. You will be a great man. Einstein. "

Chaplin wrote in his reply: "I admire you even more. No one in the world can understand your theory of relativity, but you have become a great man. Chaplin. "

Physicists hide and seek in heaven.

Once, all the scientists in heaven played hide-and-seek together. Unfortunately, when Einstein looked for someone. All the scientists hid, except Newton. Newton just drew a square with a side length of 1 m in front of Einstein and stood in the middle and saw it. When Einstein finished counting, he saw Newton and immediately shouted: Newton is out! Newton denied it. What's going on here? At this time, Newton said confidently: I am standing in the middle of a square of 1 square meter, that is, I am Newton per square meter, so I am Pascal. Einstein was depressed. He kept looking and found a box. When I opened it, Joule was hidden in it. Einstein shouted, "Joule out, Joule out." Joule said, "I don't come out because I'm not Joule." I am hiding in a box of 1 cubic meter, which means I am' Joules per cubic meter', so I am also Pascal. "

Don't understand science

My son was lying on the sofa reading a pictorial, and my mother came into the room panting and said, "I bought a car full of coal." Now the car is parked on the other side of the bridge and can't be pulled up. Please give mom a push! " "Well, mom, you don't understand science," said the son, tilting his head and motionless. "According to Newton's law of inertia, all you have to do is back the car 20 meters, then rush up and the car can cross the bridge."

Vortex and snail

Every time I speak, when the alternating magnetic field passes through the metal section, there will be eddy current in the metal section. Students always laugh. We should be glad that they have such imagination. So imagine with them that when the alternating magnetic field passes through the metal section, there will be a phenomenon of "countless snails crawling around concentric circles" in the metal section, but we must find out the reason of "snail crawling": electromagnetic induction.

The wastebasket is on fire.

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist and a statistician) were called to the dean's office. As soon as they sat down, they found a wastebasket on fire.

The physicist said, "I know what to do. If the temperature of the material drops below the flammable temperature, the fire will naturally go out. "

The chemist disagreed. "No, you must first cut off the oxygen supply. Without reactants, the fire will go out. "

When physicists and chemists argue, they are surprised to find that statisticians run around lighting one wastebasket after another.

"What are you doing? ! "

The statistician replied, "I need enough samples! ! "

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