Do you have a complete list of jokes?

1. Once upon a time, Americans visited Russia. One day I saw two Russian workers on the road in Russia. One was digging holes beside the road with a shovel, and he was digging a hole every three meters. The other worker was immediately backfilling the hole that the previous worker had just dug. The Americans were curious and asked the first Russian worker: "Why did the man behind you fill the hole as soon as you dug it?" Get up? ”

The Russian worker replied: “We are greening the road. I dig holes, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills the soil. But the second person asked for leave today and didn't come. 』 2. Booking Office: Tickets are extremely tight now. If the train ticket you want is not available, will you accept the adjustment?

Me: Obey.

After I got the ticket the next day, I was angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did they give me a ticket to Shanxi! ! !

Booking Office: Didn’t you say that you should obey the adjustment?

3. An employee X from the human resources department of a company was recently transferred to the public relations department downstairs. On this day, his friend called the original department: "Is X here?" X's colleague replied: "He is no longer in the human resources department." Friend: "Ah? When did he... go there?" Colleague: "Last "Friend: "I don't know anything about it... and I didn't give him a ride..." Colleague: "It doesn't matter, can't we just go down and find him?"

Friend: Ah, you? He's really good at joking

Colleague: No kidding, he said when he left that if anyone misses him, he is welcome to go down there and play with him at any time.

Friends:. . . . This is inconvenient. . . .

Colleague: Well, it’s really inconvenient during the day, so I’ll let him find you at night! ! 4. When I woke up in the morning, I saw a NetEase comment on the first floor: Everyone, calm down, come over and listen to what the fifth floor has to say? 2nd floor: I think what 5th floor said makes sense. The third floor: The fifth floor expressed the voice of the people. The fourth floor: The fifth floor really said it well! Fifth floor: Everyone upstairs is SB! ! 5. The dormitory is on the 6th floor. When I climbed up, I found that I didn’t bring the key. I went downstairs and asked my aunt to get it. Then I climbed up to open the door. I went down to return the key. When I climbed up again, I found that the door was closed. A classmate next door passed by and asked, "Look at your door." It’s okay, I’ll turn it off for you.”… 6. A certain woman had an argument with her husband and felt very uncomfortable. While her husband was sleeping, I squatted over his head and prepared to fart for him to relieve his anger. Who would have expected? He used too much force and pooped directly on his face. (It’s funny, but also disgusting) 7. Once after class, everyone had to go home when the bell rang. When going down the stairs, a boy stepped on his right foot with his left foot, and he fell to the middle of the road with a big "pop". .He thought at that time: No, I am so embarrassed, I have to pretend to be faint. As a result, the classmate next to him saw that the boy was motionless, so he quickly helped him up, and then slapped him wildly from left to right...

8. A certain gentleman went to a manga bar and rented Kindaichi, and as soon as he saw the second page, he With tears streaming down his face, someone drew a circle on a certain character with a blue ballpoint pen and wrote - this is the murderer... 9. A man was adventuring alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. . So he shouted to the sky: "I'm dead, God, save me!"

As soon as the light appeared in the sky, a voice came: "It's not sure yet, you pick up another big one on the ground. Stone, smash the leader to death." So he picked up the largest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, killing the chief. The tribesmen were all stunned for a moment, and then looked at each other angrily. At this time, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead." 10. Two children talking:

A said: Our whole family They all like animals. My mother likes cats, my brother likes dogs, and my sister likes little white rabbits.

B said: What about your father?

A said: I like vixens. 11. A customer walks up to the front desk.

Customer: "Give me a small bowl."

Me: "Huh?"

The customer pointed to the menu and I realized that he wanted a sundae.

Me: "Sundae, right? What flavor do you want?"

Customer: "Apple."

Me: "Huh? I'm sorry. I’ve never sold apples.”

Customer: “What’s that green one?”

Me: “Oh, that’s aloe flavored.”

Customer: "Aloe vera? Isn't that a flower? Can it be eaten?"

Me: "Yes!"

Customer: "Forget it, I never eat blindly. I want coffee It’s flavored.”

Me: (confused) “I’m sorry, I’ve never sold coffee flavor.”

Customer: “What’s the black one?”

Me: "That's chocolate."

Customer: "Forget it, chocolate is too sweet, I want the red one. It's strawberry."

Me: (Super happy, I guessed correctly once.) "Yes, how many do you want?"

Customer: "One, but I don't eat sesame seeds, please give me all the strawberry seeds Pick it out."

Me: !@~#$^amp; **~!@#$^amp; * 12. Examiner: The retail price of Windows 7 Professional Edition in mainland China is How many?

Me: 5 yuan

Examiner: Get out, next one

The word "give up" has never appeared in my dictionary.

I voted and voted,

Finally I got a chance to interview at Google

However, I went to Google for an interview and was kicked out after answering just one question...

Examiner: Where did you get the news about the Google interview?

Me: Baidu

Examiner: Go out, next one

Brother is depressed , but you still have to support yourself first.

Drag a friend to find a job at McDonald's. .

But the other party was very perverted and asked me to sing a McDonald's song.

My brother laughed at that time. I have known McDonald's songs since I was a child.

So I opened my mouth and said: With KFC, life will taste better!

Examiner: Get out~~~~~~~~~

The interview at McDonald’s failed.

My mother dragged people to find a mobile customer service job.

My mother said that this does not require technical skills and you should try it first. I agreed without even thinking about it.

The interview went very well, and the other person appreciated me very much. Finally, the examiner said to me:

You are very good. Please leave your phone number so that we can notify you to work.

Me: "132...."

Examiner: Get out. . . .

My heart is broken. . . I have been unemployed for so long, eating and drinking from home.

My family members all look at me with a little helplessness.

I walked to a shopping mall and saw Adi looking for a clerk. I thought I should give it a try. Examiner: Please tell us our slogan,

Me: just do it

Examiner: Go out, next one.

Failures again and again did not dampen my confidence.

So I calmed down, studied hard, and finally got admitted to our local civil servant with excellent results.

However, TMD still needs an interview.

During the interview, I answered questions well. When I saw the examiner’s face, I felt that there would be no problem with this job.

When I am happy.

The examiner asked me: Young man, which historical figure do you like best?

I answered without thinking: Heshen!

Examiner: Get out.

After this failure, I have made important considerations about life. Looking back on the past,

I finally discovered that the most important thing is that I have some questions to answer. wrong.

But for this interview, I was fully prepared.

NOKIA’s product department notified me, and I spent a week doing all the work.

Even the slogan is correct: technology is people-oriented.

The examiner was very satisfied and said: If nothing happens, you can come to work tomorrow.

At this time, the phone rang, and a discordant voice appeared: "HELLO MOTO". 13. Reasons for failing the exam If students fail the exam, we really cannot blame them. The reasons are as follows: 1. Weekends: There are 52 Sundays in a year, so there are 52×2=104 days of rest. After deducting these days, there are only 261 days left in the year. 2． Winter and summer vacations: There are about two months in a year that are either very hot or very cold, making it impossible to study. Therefore, after deducting the 60 days of winter and summer vacations, there are only 201 days left in the year. 3． Legal holidays account for 10 days throughout the year, leaving only 191 days in the year after deduction. 4． Sleeping 8 hours a day takes up 122 days in a year, leaving only 69 days after deductions. 5. One and a half hours of time for eating, snacking, and fruit every day takes up 23 days. After deducting this, there are only 46 days left in a year. 6. One hour of gaming time per day occupies 15 days of the year. After deduction, there are only 31 days left in the year. 7． One hour of communication time per day takes up 15 days of the year. After deduction, there are only 16 days left in the year. 8． Going to the movies, shopping or other activities takes up 10 days of the year, leaving 6 days in the year after deductions. 9. It is estimated that if you are sick for 5 days a year, then there will only be 1 day left in the year. 10. It's this day, it's my birthday. Excuse me, how can students pass the exam with so little time to study? So can't blame them. Funny Sentences and Comments Series: February 30th Monday Sunny

The sun didn’t shine all day today. It’s really not good. My father bought two goldfish and raised them in the water tank. One of them drowned. I’m very sad.

Teacher’s comment: I am also very sad. In all my life, I have never met a 30th in February! I have never seen a sunny day without the sun, and I have never seen a goldfish that would drown.

1. Title: While...while...

The child wrote: He was taking off his clothes and putting on his pants at the same time.

Teacher’s comment: Should he take it off or put it on?

2. Topic: Among them

The child wrote: One of my left feet is injured.

Teacher’s comment: Are you a centipede?

3. Topic: Continuously

The children wrote: After get off work, my father came home one after another.

Teacher’s comment: How many fathers do you have?

4. Topic: Sadness

The child wrote: There is a ditch in front of my house, which is very sad.

Teacher’s comment: The teacher is even sadder.

5. Topic: And...and...

Children write: My mother is short, tall, fat and thin.

Teacher’s comment: Is your mother a Transformer?

6. Topic: What are you looking at?

Children write: What are you looking at! I haven’t seen it

Teacher’s comment: I haven’t seen it

7. Title: Thriving and Prosperous

Children write: Confession of Thriving and Prosperous.

Teacher’s comment: Don’t watch too many TV series!

8. Topic: Delicious

Children wrote: It tastes so good.

Teacher’s comment: Some things cannot be eaten.

9. Topic: Innocence

Children write: It’s really hot today.

Teacher’s comment: You are so naive.

10. Title: Sure enough

The child wrote: Yesterday I ate fruit and then drank cold water.

Teacher’s comment: It’s a word

11. Question: First... then..., example question: Eat first, then take a bath.

The child wrote: Goodbye, sir!

Teacher’s comment: Imagination exceeds the wisdom of people on earth.

12. Topic: Moreover

Children wrote: A train passed by, besides, besides, besides, besides, besides, besides.

Teacher’s comments: I’ll just die