A profound joke.

1, a bowl of instant noodles will have two kinds of treatment in the eyes of the same person: thin people eat, no wonder you are so thin, always eat these nutritious things, stop eating, and then eat thin; Fat people always eat this junk food when they eat. No wonder you are so fat. Stop eating, it will kill you! What a painful understanding.

2, the reality is like this, if you don't work hard, you will be eliminated by society, but if you work hard and never give up, you will be eliminated by society in a few years.

3. Now Weibo is really enough. The screen is full of poverty, poverty, ugliness, ugliness, fatness and laziness! Can't you say something that has nothing to do with me?

4, villagers see villagers, two tears, why two tears, because the money was cheated by villagers.

Chatting with a young man in his early twenties, she is numb to life and very pessimistic that this will be her life.

I criticized this wrong idea. I had the same idea when I was 20 years old. It was not until I was nearly 30 years old that I realized that life could actually be worse. Where can it be? This is the end of my life? Such a good thing.

6. Do you have these ambivalence?

1. I want to have a holiday when I go to school, and I want to go to school when I have a holiday;

2. Junior high school wants to go to high school, high school wants to go to college, college wants to graduate, and wants to go back to school after graduation;

3. I want to fall in love when I am single, and I want to be single when I am in love;

4. I want to grow up quickly when I was a child, and I want to go back to my childhood when I grow up;

5. Keep shouting to lose weight, but forget everything in front of delicious food?

7. If you have money and face, you are called a male god; If you have money and lose face, you are called a husband; A face without money is called a blue face. As for those who have no money and no face, I'm sorry, are you a good person? What a painful realization ~

Walking in the street, I saw a young beggar. I said to him: you have hands and feet, why don't you find another job?

Beggar: What you said is very reasonable. I immediately changed careers, grabbed my bag and ran away.

9、? Excuse me, why has no one graduated from your cheeky university so far?

? What can we do? Everyone stays at school. ?

10, a comrade-in-arms suffered from heatstroke the day before yesterday. After he was carried back, he lay on the ground in his class.

The hygienist came to deal with it and said, He is too dark, absorbs heat and is prone to heatstroke. ?

1 1. As a doctor who has been practicing medicine for many years, it is my code of conduct and professional ethics to insist on seeing, listening, asking and being serious.

Look at the color, smell and ask the price:? All right, boss, help me cut this pig's head. ?

12, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time today and bought cigarettes for my uncle. After dinner, my uncle said, Let's go and smoke in the smoking room! ?

At that time, I wondered, lying in the trough, there is a smoking room at such a high end! Then my uncle took me into the kitchen and turned on the range hood. Come on, light it! ?

13, I am the traffic police. I was resting at the police station that day when a middle-aged woman suddenly came in and asked me, master, can you mend the tire here?

14. Last night, a brother came home drunk. He sleeps in bed with his wife. Suddenly he got up, picked up his cell phone and ran to the toilet. He dialed his wife's phone. Honey, I have a meeting today. I may be late. Why don't you go to bed first?

Then he hung up the phone and went back to bed. My wife just slapped me. My brother said? Shit, labor paid me. Why did you hit me? .

15, I lost my ID card. Take my dad's ID card to play.

After giving the ID card to the stationmaster, the stationmaster looked at me and said, Brother, you are very young!

16, the company organized a physical examination, and one colleague was special! Do doctors ask questions about smoking?

Answer: No smoking!

Drink?

Answer: no!

Tea?

Answer: drink!

The doctor asked: What kind of tea do you want?

Answer: iced tea!

The doctor is speechless and colleagues are laughing!

17. Discuss with my sister the story of leaning on heaven to slay the dragon. I like the Zhang Wuji version, she said. ?

? I like the Zhou Zhiruo version! ! ! ? I said excitedly.

18, the rich man asked the doctor: Doctor, is there a cure for my infertility? I really hope to have the next generation. ?

Doctor:? Medically, it's hopeless, but if you give me 1 million, I can call you dad! ?

19, a said:? I have a classmate who doesn't study at all. Everyone is worried that people will not be admitted to the university. Who knows that people go abroad to go to college directly after graduating from high school, start a company after graduation, and change sports cars every day. Do you think this is a superpower?

B immediately retorted:? This is not called super power, at most, it is rich at home! ?

A:? Yes, that's what I want to say. It's the ability to be reborn. ?

20. Wang Sicong is reading at home. When his father saw it, he slapped him angrily and scolded him, you black sheep, you secretly read this kind of book.

Knock his How to Become a Multi-millionaire to the ground.

2 1. I met a beggar in the street and asked him: You have hands and feet, why don't you find a job to support yourself?

The beggar said:? I find a job that can only support myself; And begging can feed the whole family. ?

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