Ten jokes: The wife said, "Husband, I think I need an injection."

I have a good relationship with a girl in college. Every time I send her back to the dormitory, she always gives me a hug when I go upstairs, because graduation will definitely separate the two places, and we have not said anything.

In the first year of graduation, the whole class got together and we hugged each other intimately.

I said, "After working for a year, you haven't changed at all. You are still so beautiful!" " "

She said, "You have changed a lot, and now you won't even poke me!" " "

2. Lying in bed with my wife at night. My wife came over and squatted on me and said, "Honey, I think I need an injection!" "

Feeling her hot question, I immediately understood. I put the gun on the horse at once. After slapping, she said, "Can you take me to the hospital now?"

Oh, my God, this joke hurts so much. My wife hasn't got a fever yet!

3.a: "Why are you so short?"

B: "Because I'm afraid of heights."

A: "How do you feel about being so short?"

B: "Let everyone see me and hold their heads up."

My son is six years old and doesn't want to sleep alone at night. That night, he pestered his wife again, so I said to him maliciously? "Boy, there can't be a second person in this bed, understand?" The son blinked and cried, and the wife quickly persuaded him, "Don't cry, son, your father is right, let him go!" "

Today, I went shopping with my best friend and met a dirty little boy on the way, staring at the little girl sitting in the park drinking milk! Then the little girl drank it and threw it on the floor! I saw the little boy run over and pick it up and put it in his mouth. My nose is sour, and my tears are about to fall! I want to pull him up and buy him something delicious! I saw him blow the milk bag and put it on the ground! "Bang bang!"

6. Blind date, the other party has a unique quality, don't ask me about money, just care about my character. For example, the other party asked me: Do you usually give up your seat by bus? I said let me do it. I respect the old and love the young so much, so I have quality and morality. Later, the other party said it was inappropriate and left no contact information. I took the bus home and looked around before I found out, Nima, how can rich people take the bus?

7. The husband accompanied his pregnant wife to the hospital for B-ultrasound. After the result came out, the husband took the list and the doctor said, "This is not yours."

The wife next to her turned green and asked the doctor trembling, "Can you see all this?"

The husband gave his wife a slap in the face, and the wife buried her face and said, "husband, I know I was wrong."

Then the doctor picked up another list and handed it to her husband: "Look, this is yours.

8. I received a text message from a stranger in the middle of the night:

"Are you asleep?"

"no"

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

"My wife is asleep."

"My wife is asleep, too."

9. Lying in bed reading a book, I heard the gentle voice of the man next door: Baby be good, go to sleep quickly, and Dad will sing for you. Just as I was about to listen to the lullaby next door, the man's voice said, get up, people who don't want to be slaves. . . Accompanied by the crying of the baby and the roar of the woman. . .

10. People living in Beijing are very humorous. They buy a 78 million house, work in debt and smoke all day. After that, you asked him: Why did you come to Beijing? He said: The medical conditions here are good.