Please tell me the funniest joke in the world. If it’s not funny, don’t post it. If you plagiarize someone else's work, I will delete it.

Funny quotes about passenger planes: The passenger plane in flight suddenly tilted severely, and then turned over in the air before returning to normal. Passengers in the cockpit panicked

and made loud noises. At this time, a stewardess came out of the cockpit. She smiled and said to everyone: "Ladies and gentlemen, please don't panic. The flight is normal. What happened just now is just because of a cold."

It was caused by the pilot sneezing”

When flying from New York to Geneva, a person sitting next to me kept pestering and teasing the air on the plane. Miss. Despite this, Miss Kongzhong patiently answered his request. Suddenly, my annoying seatmate said to the stewardess: "You are the deafest person I have ever seen."

The stewardess replied calmly: "And you are the sweetest gentleman I have ever met. But maybe we are all wrong

."

There are only 7 ways to get off the plane alive. Boarding a plane in Florida At that time, the old passengers looked indifferent to the stewardess explaining safety knowledge. She had an idea and said: "Ladies and gentlemen, the song goes, there may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but I have to warn you that there is only one way to get off the plane alive

7. So please listen." After a burst of laughter, the old passengers sounded really serious.

Please fasten your seat belts. The stewardess ordered the passengers in a harmonious and pleasant voice: "Put out the cigarettes and fasten your seat belts." All passengers

obey the instructions in the air. The lady's instructions were done. Five minutes later, the stewardess ordered again in a more beautiful voice than before:

"Tighten your seat belt a little tighter. Unfortunately, we forgot to do it on the plane." "Bring food."

When the plane landed at a newly built airport, the pilot pulled all the brakes and almost rushed out of the runway

He looked out from the small window of the cockpit and was shocked: "Oh my God, there is such a short runway in the world!"

The navigator also stretched out his head to see: "Wow, It’s not long, but it’s wide!”

There are two company employees selling tickets for various routes of an airline at an agency. They work very seriously and never make any mistakes.

One day, a government official came in and loudly criticized their work for being chaotic and inefficient. When they saw that the two staff members were indifferent, they couldn't help but became furious and shouted: "Do you know who I am?"

At this time, the two staff members raised their heads. Come on, look at each other. One of them said to the other: "It seems that this gentleman needs our help. He has no idea who he is!" The gentleman who was going to work squeezed into a very crowded bus, but the second half of his coat was caught outside the bus door.

While he was pulling his clothes in from the crack of the door, he said to the conductor with a grimace: "Miss, I don't care about being squeezed into a sardine

But. When you put me in a sardine can, you should put my tail in it too!”

A woman was holding a child on a bus, and the child was crying. It's so powerful that I can't calm down no matter how much I coax it. A person sitting next to her said angrily: "Oh! This child can really cry! Just give him whatever he wants!"

"If Maybe, I'd love to," the child's mother replied calmly, "but he wants your funny hat."

Buy half a ticket on the bus. , John, who had just squeezed into the bus, said to the conductor: "I'll buy a half ticket!"

The conductor asked strangely: "How do I buy a half ticket?"

John pointed. He was trapped outside the door and said: "Half of me is still outside."

He drove back and said, "Sir, we're here, please pay the fare, 12 marks." The driver of the car said to the passengers explain.

"I'm sorry, I only have 10 marks with me. Please drive back a little way."

Call the police. A famous pianist took the train to K City to perform. While she was resting in the box, she used her hands to bounce the edge of the bed to practice her fingering.

When she arrived in K City, the train was two hours late, and she blamed the conductor.

The conductor replied apologetically: "We stopped for two hours on the road because someone triggered the siren from time to time, but we couldn't find who it was... "

Only two minutes later, a passenger cried on the platform: "What a pity, I missed the train!"

"Have you been delayed for a long time?" asked a wise man. .

“Only two minutes!”

“Bah! If you cry and howl like this for two minutes, others will think you missed at least two hours!”

Box Cohen and Green are sitting on the train. A large suitcase sat on the luggage rack above Cohen's head. The flight attendant came and said to Cohen: "This suitcase cannot be carried as carry-on luggage. It must be checked." Cohen firmly disagreed to check it in. After an argument, Cohen remained tough.

The ticket inspector came, but there was no result.

The train arrived at a certain station and they called the railway police.

The policeman shouted: "You must take the box to check immediately!"

Cohen: "No!"

The policeman was furious: "Why not? ”

Cohen: “Because the box is not mine”

The police and others were all dumbfounded. "Then whose box belongs to me?"

"My friend Green belongs to this one."

The police, flight attendants, and ticket inspectors all shouted at Green: "You ! You!

Why didn’t you check this box? ”

No one told me! The penniless Burski took the train without buying a ticket. Every time the inspector caught him, he kicked him out of the car at the next stop.

"Where are you going?"

"If my ass can bear it, I'm going to Prague."

The conductor who did not pay the fare: "You I bought a regular express ticket, how can I take the express train? You have to pay for the ticket!" Passenger: "Why do you need to pay for the ticket? You can drive slower, but I have more time. ”

In the subway car, in a fast-moving subway car, someone politely bent over and said to a woman next to him: “The car is really dark, please

allow me I'll find an armrest strap for you!"

Unexpectedly, the lady said coldly: "I already have an armrest strap!"

"Please let go of my tie. !" the man gasped.

I asked for tea in the express carriage. A passenger said to the female steward: "Please bring me another cup of tea, Miss." In a quarter of an hour, you have asked for 10 cups of tea. How can you drink so much water?

“I don’t drink water, I want water. It was because the blanket on my berth was burning. ”