Collecting funny jokes!

1. (During boarding, the stewardess MM was greeting guests at the gate, and a handsome guy came up...)

Stewardess MM: "Welcome to board the plane, may I ask what seat you are in?" ?"

Handsome guy: "I'm a Scorpio, and you!"

Stewardess (looking shy): "Really, what a coincidence, I'm a Scorpio too... ”

Passengers in the queue behind fainted.

2. (After boarding is completed, the announcement sounds...)

Stewardess: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this flight. Please sit on the runway and fasten your Seat belts, our plane is about to take off..." Passengers are freezing...

3. (The plane is taking off, the roar is very loud, flight attendant A and flight attendant B are sitting in the first class cabin chatting... …)

Stewardess A: “Look, the passenger’s nose hair is exposed, haha~”

Stewardess B: “I can’t hear you, what did you say?”

< p> Stewardess A had no choice but to repeat it loudly, but Stewardess B still shook her head to indicate that she couldn’t hear.

At this time, the passenger came over, leaned into stewardess B’s ear and said, “Miss, she said my nose hairs were exposed!” -_-! !

4. (The plane finally "climbed" to a high altitude and entered a stable flight state, and the flight attendant began to deliver drinks...)

"Ding dong~"

1 A male passenger rang the call bell.

Stewardess: "Sir, do you need any help?"

The male passenger was silent. (Maybe it was his first time flying and he was a little nervous.)

The flight attendant explained: "This is the calling bell. If you need anything, press it again and we will help you in time!"

The passenger man nodded.

But before the flight attendant MM returned to her seat, the call bell rang again. The flight attendant MM looked back and saw the male passenger standing up, shouting loudly to the call bell: "Coke~with ice~"

Flight attendant:...

5. ( The stewardess is delivering drinks...)

"Hello, madam! Would you like something to drink?"

The middle-aged female passenger said sheepishly: "No, no. Drink."

So the flight attendant whispered: "It's free..."

Female passenger: "Huh? It's free! I want a cup of orange juice, a cup of Coke, and a cup of coffee. , and..."

After saying that, the female passenger thought about it, took out another bottle from her bag and said, "Put some more soy milk in it, I want to drink the plane ticket! "

The stewardess is dizzy...

6. (The stewardess cheers up and delivers the drink...)

Stewardess: "Sir, you are drinking orange juice. Or drink apple juice?"

Passenger: "Does your orange juice taste like apple?"

The flight attendant continued to feel dizzy...

7 , (The stewardess is holding on to the wall to deliver drinks...)

Stewardess: "Hello, how can I help you?

Passenger: "Can I have a glass of water? ”

Stewardess: “Of course, mineral water?” "

Passenger: "Is there any juice? ”

Stewardess: “Yes, which one do you need, orange juice or peach juice?” "

Passenger: "Is there any Coke? ”

Stewardess: “Yes, do you need some ice?” ”

Passenger: “Then give me a cup of coffee!” "

Stewardess: @%$@^&×...

8. (The stewardess brought back two cups of coffee? The cabin...)

At this time , a passenger pointed out the window and asked the stewardess: "Miss, what kind of lake is this?" "

Stewardess MM replied: "Coffee pot.

"

The passenger is dizzy...

9. (Ding dong, the calling bell rang again...)

Passenger: "Miss, there are nail clippers. ? "

Stewardess: "You think I am Tinker Bell..."

10. (The cabin was speechless, the plane was flying smoothly, at this time, there was a message on the radio The captain's cheerful voice...)

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am your captain. Welcome everyone to take this flight. What I want to tell you is...

…Ah! Oh my gosh! ! "

Halfway through his words, the captain suddenly let out a scream of KB. After that, there was no sound on the radio. At this time, all the passengers were frightened, even the stewardess was frightened. At a loss, there was silence in the cabin...

After a while, the captain's voice finally came over the radio: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry for frightening everyone. A little accident happened. When the flight attendant brought me coffee just now, he accidentally spilled the coffee on my shirt. If you don’t believe it, it’s all soaked to the skin! "

At this time, a passenger complained angrily in the cabin: "It doesn't matter if my shirt is wet, come and look at my crotch!" ”

The captain was dizzy...

11. (Unknowingly, the meal time came again, and the stewardess started delivering food...)

Stewardess: “Sir, we have chicken rice and fish rice, which one do you want? "

Passenger: "Spare ribs! ”

Stewardess: “Sir, we have chicken rice and fish rice. Which one do you choose?” "

Passenger: "Spare ribs! "

Stewardess (after a moment of silence): "We have chicken ribs and fish ribs, which one do you want? ”

12. (The stewardess continues to deliver food...)

Stewardess: “Which one do you want, fish rice or pork rice?” "

Passenger: "We two want pigs, he wants fish! "

13. (The flight attendant continued to be dizzy while delivering the meal...)

Flight attendant: "Which one do you prefer, cow or fish? "

Passenger: "Okay, I want 'Niuhe'. "

Stewardess: "It's cows and fish. ”

Passenger: “Oh! Then I want to 'take the fish'. ”

14. (After the meal, the stewardess began to collect the plates...)

A passenger pointed to the clean plate (not even the leaves were left) He complained: “Miss, your food is so bad, it’s just like dog food! "

The flight attendant was speechless...

15. (Most passengers handed over their plates for the flight attendant to collect, but a passenger by the window was indifferent. The flight attendant couldn't reach it. So...)

Stewardess: "Sir, could you please pass the dinner plate? "

The passenger replied arrogantly: "Are you the waiter, or am I the waiter? ”

The stewardess replied politely: “Yes, sir!” I'm a waiter, but I'm not a Gibbon! "

16. (The plane is flying over Beijing, preparing to land...) Before the plane lands, the stewardess has to do a good job of signing the seal, but just after signing, a passenger asks the stewardess for a Coke. < /p>

Stewardess: "Sorry, we are all 'blocked'"

The passenger replied angrily: "That's all! I want a Coke, are you crazy? "

Stewardess:...

17. (While the plane was still taxiing, the passengers had already stood up to get their luggage. For safety, the stewardess picked up the radio again...) Originally, flight attendant MM should have said: "Ladies and gentlemen, our plane is still taxiing, please sit down and close the overhead luggage racks.

"As a result, she anxiously broadcast: "Ladies and gentlemen, our plane is gliding just fine..."

At this time, "Ding dong~" the intercom rang again, and there was The captain's voice came: "Who praises me? ”

The flight attendant was in breakdown...

18. (The plane finally stopped, and the flight attendant MM kept thinking about catching the shuttle to go to the KFC restaurant in Dongzhimen for a date with her boyfriend, so the broadcast came again Warm reminder as follows...) "Ladies and gentlemen, our plane has arrived at KFC Airport in Dongzhimen, the capital of China... Goodbye~"

Passengers are crazy...