Three China jokes

Customer: Boss, how much are these pants? Boss: 180 yuan, authentic Guangzhou, do you want it? Customer: Let me have a look first ... Boss: Don't look. This is a good thing. I'll give you a discount 170 yuan. Customer: Is this also called a discount? Boss: Hehe, ok, 140 yuan, it's ok this time. Customer: Hahahaha, I laugh! Boss: What are you laughing at? Is it too expensive? Customer: No, it's more expensive. It's like pumping my blood with a pump Boss: No exaggeration. If you are local, it is 120 yuan. Boss: You won't be too expensive, will you? I can only earn you a few dollars at most. Customer: No, I didn't say expensive. This pair of trousers is worth the price. Boss: You really have sunshine. Buy it quickly. Customer: pants are good pants, but I have limited money in my pocket. Boss: How much money do you have in your pocket? Guest: 90 yuan. Boss: Oh, my God, you must be kidding. You're gonna kill me. Add 10 yuan. Customer: No, I want to give you 120 yuan, but there is nothing I can do. Boss: OK, make friends, and forget about 90 yuan. Customer: I won't give you 90 yuan. I'll keep the fare 10. Boss: The fare? What does this have to do with you buying pants? Customer: Of course, I come from a far, far place. I have to go back by coach. Ticket price 10 yuan. Boss: You are a liar! Customer, I haven't cheated anyone since I was eighteen, believe me. Look at my expression, how sincere. Boss: Although I can't see your sincerity, I admit that I lost it. You can count on 80 yuan. Customer: Wait, I have to add that I haven't had breakfast yet. I'm hungry. Boss: You! ! God, you've gone too far. You are playing tricks. Customer: Believe me, I am sincere. If I don't eat again, I will faint in front of you. Boss: I'm unlucky to meet a slick like you. But you really went too far. One minute you have to take a bus, and the next you have to have breakfast. Are you saying that you are thirsty? Do you want to drink later? Customer: You underestimate me. Believe me, I want nothing more. Boss: Believe you? Last time? Customer: Yes, believe me. Boss: OK, cheer up, 70 yuan. Customer: I'll give you the money right away. Boss: Hurry up. Customer: Wait, there seems to be something wrong with the color here. Boss: No, it isn't. It's matte. It was done on purpose. This is called fashion. Customer: Really? Looks like old pants. It's weird. Boss: What? It doesn't matter if you insult me. Please don't insult my pants. This is the real thing. Customer: ... Boss: OK, I'll show you my receipt ... You see, the purchase date was last week, and the purchase unit was a clothing factory in Guangzhou. How can these be old pants? Customer: Oh, I'm sorry, I misunderstood, but ... Oh, my God, the price: 20 yuan 1. Boss: Oh, no, no. This is the price before tax. After-tax cost per unit, 40 yuan. Customer: You are lying. Do you think I'm a fool? This is the VAT invoice, which is the price after tax payment. These pants are only worth 20 yuan, but you ... Boss: Hey, hey ... Do you want to do business? You know, I rent hundreds of facades every day. What can I eat without making money? Customer: In broad daylight, Lang Lang Gan Kun, your heart is too dark! Boss: Hey hey, how about 30 yuan? Let me make some money. Customer: Money is a piece of cake. It's just that your behavior makes me angry. You have deeply hurt a consumer's heart. Boss: Is it that serious? Customer: Don't you think cheating is not serious? If this continues, it is fraud and crime! Boss: God, it's so exaggerated. In this way, if you put out the fire, I'll sell it to you for 25 yuan and make five dollars. Guest: What? 25 means 250. You look down on me? Boss: No, no, just 24. Customer: There is a 4, which means "death". Bad luck. I am superstitious. Boss: God, is there a problem with 23? Guest: OK, deal! Woman: Are you there? M: I'm everywhere! Woman: Oh … Man: Come on, faint in my arms, come on baby! W: Hehe … What's your name? Man: I didn't scream, and you didn't flirt with me? Woman: I asked your name. M: Oh yeah ~ My compound surname is Nangong, and my name is Friends Circle, or South Friends Circle for short! Woman: Hehe, friend … Man: OK, please call me my full name boyfriend, ok? Woman: Come on, take advantage of me again ... Man: You are not the food in the market. What should I take advantage of you? Woman: You ... Man: Oh, dry your tears! Actually, that was my stage name just now. My name is Ni, and my name is Lao Gong. What about you? Woman: Er ... My name is Wei! Man: So it's you! Woman: You know me? Man: Well, I hum you every day! W: Why? Man: Wei, do you know how much I love you ... Woman: Hehe, you are so humorous! Man: Everyone says so! Woman: You are really not modest. Man: Wrong! I'm not hypocritical! Woman: You are so narcissistic! Man: Wrong! I have confidence! Female: I'll take you ... Male: I weigh 60 kilograms. Can you take it in? Woman: ... (depressed) How old are you? M: I can't describe it It's huge! W: I mean your age? Man: What's two plus two, four plus forty-six, sixteen plus eight minus four? Female: Twenty … Male: Correct answer, but unfortunately no prize … What about you? Woman: Hehe, I'm eighteen. Man: eighteen is great! W: Why? M: They all say 188 1 flower! W: So what? Man: I dare choose you. How about you? Woman: I am a rose with thorns. Aren't you scared? M: I can't type the word pa. Woman (changing the subject): Where are you from? Man: Zhongyuan. Woman: Er ... Where in the Central Plains? Man: Shame, I have no home in the next four seas! Woman: Really? Man: With your wisdom, can I coax you? Woman: That's true … but don't you want to have a real home? M: I don't want to. Just … Woman: Just what? M: It's just that no girl wants to compete with me. Woman: Go find one! M: The current social reality is unbearable. True love is hard to find. How simple is it? Woman: Hey, don't be such a wet blanket, there will be! M: Will it? I am so lonely, I don't know when I can get rid of it. Woman: Are you still lonely when I talk to you now? Man: No, it felt good, but only for a moment ... Woman: Aren't you afraid that you can't type? Man (suddenly coming over): Yes, I want to pick your rose with thorns. Woman: I have thorns. Take me home, don't let me wither. Can you do it? Man: There are two songs I promise you … Woman: Which two songs? M: Wei He Hua Tong. Woman: Really? Yes, it is. This heart can be learned from the sun and the moon! Woman: Well, boyfriend! Man: Hehe, call me Lao Gong! Woman: Um ... Husband! Man: shh … honey, stop it. Someone is watching our conversation! Woman: Oh, it's true. Always ready to help others. Go to your own space after reading the punchline! Let your netizens smile when they are in a bad mood! Forget the pain, is this what you want to do? Follow-up: Two more answers: one is added to the batch: Passenger: "Miss, put my luggage up!" " Stewardess: "I'm sorry, sir." I can't lift it alone, can I? Passenger: Aren't you an angel? "Angels still can't let go?" Stewardess: "You are a god, so you can't let it go. Can my angel put it on? " Supplement: OK! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !