Top ten jokes.

1. A fat man and a thin man were driving through the mountains. The car broke down, and no one would come to repair it until the afternoon. Hungry two people climbed two mountains and finally found a remote town. There is a small restaurant in the town, but they walked into one, came out, went into another and came out again ... Finally, they were so hungry that the thin man begged: "Director, if there is no invoice, there will be no invoice!" "

2. Xiao Li of the hospital came to the dean with a sad face. Xiao Li said, "Dean, I want to resign. I can't stand it."

Dean: "What's the matter, young man, you are doing very well in the urine test department. Why do you want to resign?"

Xiao Li: "As you know, I just changed my job, and my previous professional habits make me unsuitable for doing urine test!" "

Dean: "What did you do?"

Xiao Li: "Taster"

Dean: "Ouch ~"

3. Tell my colleagues that I used to take beautiful pictures, but now it's getting uglier and uglier. Colleagues simply said: Now the pixels are getting higher and higher.

4. Water has been cut off for several days, and everyone can only use bottled water for everything. A female colleague felt that bottled water was expensive and useless, and said, "I just opened a bucket of water and washed my face, and there was only half a bucket left!" " Another colleague said: "water is still very useful, but your face is big!" "

5. Me:" Waiter, it's been more than half an hour since I ordered the steak, and it hasn't been done yet? It's already 11 o'clock in the middle of the night! "

waiter: "don't worry, sir, our shop is open 24 hours."

I ...

6. I went to the bank to withdraw money, and after a limited operation time, my bank card was swallowed. At that time, I was in a state of ignorance. The staff told me: Beauty, you can just go to the counter tomorrow ... I said: it swallowed my card, and there is not much money in it. I will wait, maybe it will dislike the lack of money and spit it out for me ...?

the staff said: it has a good appetite and is not picky about food, so it tastes delicious! Don't worry, it will never be too little to eat meat!

7. In high school, my deskmate was a beautiful sister paper, and her hands were frostbitten and festered in winter. At that time, the school brought its own lunch box to cook and washed it after eating. I think her hands are poor. I washed her lunch boxes for two winters.

One night during self-study, she whispered in my ear, "Would you like to wash my lunch box for life?" I got angry when I heard it: "It was agreed that I would wash it in winter, you would wash it in summer, and you would wash it? Still want to lie to me to wash for a lifetime, dreaming!

8. Before Mulan joined the army for her father, she bought horses in Dongshi, saddles in Xishi, bridles in Nanshi and whips in Beishi. When the general heard this, he asked, "Mulan, are you disguised as a man?" Mulan asked in surprise, "How does the general know?" The general said, "Men won't visit four markets in a row to buy this."

9. When I came back from the night shift and parked on the first floor, I heard a kid crying in the room, so his mother lied to him that there was a ghost outside. In the spirit of helping others, I screamed in horror, and as a result, both of them cried

1. Male A: My blood type is B, so is my wife's blood type, and I gave birth to a baby. Man b: the child won't be type 2 b.