Ten English jokes (also in Chinese)! urgent

1. A man went to church and started talking to God. He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said "at once"

A man walks into a church and talks to God. He asked, "Lord, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied, "A penny." The man asked, "What about a million years?" God said, "One second." Finally, the man asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God replied, "Right away."

2. Canadian Osama bin Laden and President Bush were walking in the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it, and an elf came out and said, "I will grant everyone one wish, three in all." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer, so I hope the soil in Canada will be fertile forever." The elf said a spell and his wish came true. Osama looked surprised, so he wanted to build a wall around Afghanistan. The genie said a spell and his wish came true again. President Bush said, "Tell me more about this wall, Genie," and the Genie said, "It is 50 feet thick and 500 feet high, so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a bridge ... full of water! ! !

Osama bin Laden, Canadians and President Bush were walking down the street and saw a golden lamp. They wiped the lamp and an elf appeared. The genie said, "I want to grant each of you one wish, three in all." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer, so I want to make the land in Canada fertile forever." The elf said a spell and his wish came true. Osama was surprised when he saw it. He wants a wall around Afghanistan. The genie said a spell and his wish came true again. President Bush asked, "Genie, please tell me about this wall." The genie replied, "The wall is 50 feet thick and 500 feet high, so nothing inside can get out and nothing outside can get in." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a bridge ... full of water! ! ! "

3. Once, two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down accidentally. He rolled his eyes and seemed to stop breathing. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and called the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly, "First of all, you should make sure that he is dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone, and then he heard the hunter ask, "What should I do next?"

Two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them accidentally fell down and his eyes turned white, as if he had stopped breathing. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and dialed the emergency number. The operator said calmly, "The first step is to make sure that your friend is dead." So, the operator heard a gunshot on the phone, and then heard the hunter ask, "What's the second step?"

Let me take it down.

An elephant said to a mouse, "There is no doubt that you are the smallest and most useless thing I have ever seen."

"Please say that again. Let me take it off. " Said the mouse. "I will tell a flea what I know."

for me

An elephant said to a little mouse, "You are undoubtedly the smallest and most useless thing I have ever seen."

"Please say it again and let me write it down." Said the mouse. "I want to tell it to a flea I know.

Step 5 water the flowers in the rain

Tom: Why are you holding that watering can?

Dan: I am going to water the flowers.

Tom: But it was raining.

Dan: That's all right. I am wearing a raincoat.

Water the flowers in rainy days.

Tom: What are you doing with the watering can?

Dan: I am going to water the flowers.

Tom: But it's raining!

Dan: Never mind, I'm wearing a raincoat!