A short and funny joke

1, a person always farts in the office, and colleagues can't help but say: Can you keep quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling and asked, why? Answer: I tuned it to vibrate.

2. A migrant worker went to the hospital for examination because of a blocked stool. After examination, the doctor gave the man a prescription. Migrant workers went to the medicine collection office and saw that it was a roll of toilet paper. He's confused. The doctor said: Don't wipe your ass with a cement bag in the future.

In a fashion shop, I saw an impatient young man say to a beautiful girl, would you mind talking to me? "The girl asked curiously," why? My wife has been in this shop for over an hour, but if she sees me talking to you, she will come out at once. Before he finished, his wife had walked out of the fashion shop with him in her arms.

4. A gentleman is in a hurry to drive. In a hurry, he peed in an empty sprite bottle. When there was a traffic jam, he ran out of the car and tried to put the bottle in the trash can. A respectful policeman stopped him and asked him what was in the bottle. The shopkeeper replied that Sprite was left, and the policeman said that you should have a drink for me.

5. Think about your feelings: cooking without salt, apples are not too sweet, smoking and drinking less, and shopping without money. I will miss you when I have time, and I will miss you when I have no time. If I really can't spare the time, I will do nothing but miss you.

6. Symptoms of men having an affair: the company works overtime every day, never touches housework, turns off the mobile phone when they go home, deletes it after sending text messages, snores loudly when sleeping, and often wears underwear backwards. By contrast, three cases were suspected and four cases could be diagnosed.

On the birthday of the giant panda, after blowing out the birthday candles, friends asked him what he wished for. The giant panda replied, "I have two biggest wishes in my life." One is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to take a color photo. "

8. Give you a watermelon. When you are in a bad mood, you can use a small knife to cut and cut. At the same time, you can vent and shout loudly: I kill melons, I kill melons, I kill melons.

9. I met a beggar at the station. He has a piece of paper in his hand, which says: I am deaf and dumb, please give me some charity. I suspected that he was a liar, so I said, sorry, I can't read. Then he spoke: Brother, my wallet was stolen and I have no money to buy a ticket home. Please lend me some money. I'm surprised: aren't you deaf? He was also surprised: you can't read!

10, someone just learned to ride a bike when he was a child and ran into the street unconsciously. When he saw an old man walking in front of him, he thought he was going to hit him, and he shouted, don't move, don't move. The old man stood there for a while without moving, and as a result, he turned around and ran into it. The old man stood up and said, you aimed.