I'm bored, please tell me a good joke.

Joke

Today the goddess called me and asked me to repair my computer. I felt a little thirsty when I left the house, so I gritted my teeth and took out 2.5 yuan to buy a bottle of Coke that I was usually reluctant to drink. This way I could feel a little more distinguished and avoid seeing the goddess who felt a bit inferior to me.

While drinking the Coke, I arrived at the door of the goddess. She opened the door for me, saw the Coke in my hand, and actually smiled and said, "I've never seen you drink it before. Coke." One sentence exposed the essence of my pretentiousness, but I thought about it for a moment and said with an idea: "That's because I don't want to show my nobility to other women except you. "The goddess was a little surprised when she heard what I said, then immediately blushed and lowered her head. Deeply moved by my wit.

My words happened to be heard by an aunt passing by the stairs. She was deeply impressed by my talent. She put down the dishes in her hands and applauded me on the spot. Enduring. .

Then I walked in. There was nothing to say about the process of repairing the computer. Because it was just a very common problem, I chose the simplest and most effective method, which was to reinstall the system. It was done quickly. After it was finished, the goddess poured me a glass of water and asked me to sit and rest for a while.

But the real climax of the story begins here, and it’s all about the bottle of Coke. As someone who doesn't usually drink cola, my stomach obviously couldn't adapt to carbonated drinks, and I felt bloated in my stomach after a while. It was obvious that she couldn't hold it in any longer, so I asked her politely where the bathroom was.

The goddess frowned. She lived alone and loved to be clean. She kept her house very neat. Maybe she was afraid that I would pollute the environment, but she saw that I was really uncomfortable, so she was very worried. Reluctantly, he pointed out the location of the toilet to me.

I hurriedly pulled out a few pieces of paper and ran in.

As soon as I entered the toilet, I closed the door with one hand and hurriedly untied my belt with the other hand, because I was really uncomfortable, but the goddess’s house was very small, with one apartment, and the living room was basically next to the toilet. , I was afraid that I would make some unpleasant sound, so I tried to control my abdominal muscles again. The toilet in the goddess's house is a squatting type, not a toilet, which is more suitable for my habits, so I hurriedly untied my belt and squatted on it. But it is true that people have three urgent needs. There are some things that you cannot control just because you want to. My efforts to control my abdominal muscles are obviously no match for the peristalsis of my intestines. I originally wanted to reduce my excretion as much as possible. Come out gently, gently, slowly. So I kept trying to control, control. . Take control again. .

Who knew I suddenly felt a cramp in my stomach. . . . "Boom!!" It was like a thunder exploded in the toilet. Through the wall, I heard the goddess next door yelling "Ah!" in fright at this~~

Then I heard the goddess shout outside: "What's the sound?" I hurriedly squatted inside and said, "It seems that the car outside had a flat tire...

She didn't respond, and I don't know if she believed it. Thinking of that noise, I didn't know how to get out. I saw her. I was feeling depressed, so I took out my cell phone and wanted to see everyone to relieve my worries while going to the toilet.

Fortunately, the coke didn’t have as much gas as I thought, although there was still some movement behind it. But it wasn't as big as it was at the beginning. I was playing with my phone while I was playing. After I finished playing, I looked down and realized something was wrong.

What exploded just now was not just farts, but also shit!

The pit below is like a goddess scattering flowers, and the ground is covered with golden armor! I was speechless. I hurriedly took out a few pieces of paper and cleaned myself up. Then I put my phone in my pocket and stood up to fasten my belt and think of a solution.

Who knew that the belt was gone when I stood up? Before it was fastened, the phone fell out of the pocket and fell right into the hole in the sewer.

I suddenly became anxious, and instinctively let go of my hand that was about to tie the belt, and hurriedly tried to pick up my phone, but my pants fell to the ground with a huff~ I held the water tank with one hand, One hand seemed to be fishing, but who knows, I just happened to press the flush button of the water tank. As soon as my hand reached the hole, the water started flushing, a huge flow of water. Mixed with this, my excrement immediately poured down, and all of it rushed directly to my wrist.

And I don’t know why there is so much water in the water tank at her house. Now I rushed my mobile phone into it and blocked it. The water in the whole water tank had no place to go, and I saw it suddenly bubbling up from the tank. , mixed with various leftovers from my past, began to spread throughout the toilet.

Not only did I not catch the phone, but I realized that my pants, which I had not fastened just now, were still on the ground. At this time, I had already been soaked by the yellow liquid, and I couldn’t care less about the dirt on my hands. I hurriedly used my hands to lift my pants, but who knew I was using too much force? When I pulled up the belt soaked in water from below, it also brought up a bunch of water splashes, and threw it directly on my face. I was in a daze. In the meantime, I seemed to see a thin strand of seaweed being thrown on my face.

I instinctively used my right hand to grab the seaweed. I didn’t expect that my right hand was even dirtier when I took out my phone. This slap goes down. . . . . . Damn that. . I can't say anything further. . .

After that slap, I felt that my entire nasal cavity was filled with an indescribable smell. Even if I knew it was my own, I couldn’t stand it at all. The smell came too suddenly and was too exciting. I was completely unprepared, so I couldn't hold it back and vomited it out. In addition, my hands and feet were not convenient at the moment, so I couldn't even bend down. I just saw the coke pouring down mixed with my lunch, almost no waste, and it was all spread down to my chest.

This time I am completely fortified, and there is no clean spot on my body. . . .

My "Wow!!" sound seemed to be heard by the goddess, and she hurriedly asked: "What's wrong with you?"

I quickly said: " It’s okay, it’s okay~~” He finally fastened the belt while suppressing his nausea. Then take a deep breath