Is there any joke to coax your girlfriend?

1. Confucius traveled eastward, accompanied by Luz; I met a woman by chance, very gentle and lovely, but I saw: pink peach blossoms are not exposed, and red lips smell first and then laugh; Zi He was so happy that he didn't know each other. Confucius said, "What is it? No? " Lutz replied: "You are the first teacher, courtesy comes first!" .

Zi even rushed to the car, went deep into the forest, hugged his hips, waved his halberd and raped him.

After a while, Luz asked, "Is this possible?" The child lifted his lapel, wiped his sweat and said, "Cool!" .

Lutz said, "Can I go too?" Confucius said: "Ran"; Not long after, Luz came out and said, "Did you receive any guidance at school?" Confucius said, "I have no education for a while." .

Confucius said, "There are still three Analects of Confucius on top of it." Lutz bowed and said, "I am not as good as a teacher!" "

A company selling encyclopedias wants everyone to report the results at the end of the month. The first one said, "I sold two sets this month."

"Well, not bad." The boss said.

The second said, "I have six sets!" " "All the applause.

The last one who had something to eat said, "I … I …"

The boss said impatiently, "Nothing?" ? Just nod! "

"... sell ... sell ... fifty sets! "

Everyone was stunned for three minutes, and the boss said in horror, "How did you do it?" ! ? "

"No ... no ... yes! ..... whenever someone ... says ... no ... wants to ... I just ... say ... you ... listen ... listen to me ... I'll say ... the whole book ... and then ... make a decision! "

Three.

A young lady and an old lady are sitting on the train together. The young lady wanted to fart, but she couldn't hold back, so she pretended to clean the window with her hands and fart continuously with the sound of friction.

Then the young lady looked at the old lady nervously and found that the old lady didn't respond, so she was relieved.

But suddenly the old lady said slowly, "The sound is OK, but what about the smell?"

4. Kangaroos and frogs fuck chickens. The kangaroo finished it with three strokes and two strokes, and only listened to the frog next door all night. One, two, three. Hey! Kangaroos are so envious.

The next day, the kangaroo said, "Wow! ~ ~ Brother Frog, you are great! "

The frog said, "Cao, I didn't jump on the bed all night!" " ~~"

The teacher asked the students to make sentences with wrinkles.

A student wrote: My father's eggs have many wrinkles. The teacher criticized the parents for not showing their children around.

Parents explained that the child was careless since childhood and wrote a word "face" less. ...

6. A leader had a charming female secretary and fell in love with her at first sight. One day, I drove my secretary home late at night, and I couldn't help but want to start work, but he deeply blamed himself. How could he have evil thoughts about a comrade? But after a while, the leader finally couldn't stand it and secretly put his hand into her underwear. ...

The female secretary felt very shy and blushed. She said, "Leader, have you read Advanced Education in party member?" ? "

"I read."

"Do you know what is written in the third line on page 366 of Advanced Education in party member?"

"……"

The leader felt ashamed and drew back his hand.

As soon as the leader got home, he found "Advanced Education in party member" and turned to page 366. See the third line-party member comrades, you have to tear off all the fig leaf and expose the essence.