Humorous and happy little joke

Humorous and happy short jokes, as the saying goes, it takes less than ten years to laugh. In life, we should laugh often, so that we can live and work more healthily and contentedly and not be bent by life. Let's send some humorous and happy jokes to everyone and laugh with people around us.

Humorous jokes 1

1, my husband ate a peach and drove with it in his mouth. Me: spit it out, don't get stuck. The goods wrapped in paper towels and said to me, then I will give you the dragon balls, and there are still six missing.

2. "Dad, do you think there are really ghosts in this world?" "Silly boy, of course not." "But I'm a little scared." "Don't be suspicious. It is getting late. Give me my head back and go back to my coffin to sleep. "

3, a school military training, one morning morning exercise, the instructor found several girls standing and not running, and asked: "Why not participate in the training!" The girl replied, "My period is coming. (refers to the female physiological cycle) "The young instructor was vague and scolded:" We have regulations that we are not allowed to visit relatives during military training! "

The ant went to the pond and saw the elephant taking a bath in it. He shouted to the elephant, Come up. When the elephant came up, the ant said, nothing. Get down! The elephant is angry: Do you want to die? What do you want me to do up here? The ant refused: I lost my swimming trunks. Let me see if you stole it!

5.iPhone users can upgrade the new version of iOS 10 system. There are many innovations in this new system, the most important one is to fix the problem that the old iPhone runs too smoothly.

6, Apple Samsung Huawei fights the landlord! Apple out of 7, Huawei out of 9, Samsung confidently said, demo, I blow up! Apple: can't afford Huawei: can't afford it.

7 "Ross, you have gained weight." Jack said. Well, then you can call me expansion screw in the future. "

8. There is a kind of fish in Beiming. Its name is Kun, and Kun is too big to stew in one pot! Become a bird, its name is Peng, and Peng's size requires two barbecue grills. A secret recipe, a slightly spicy, a bottle of snowflakes, let us face the world bravely!

9. A high school student's grades are very poor, and he gets one in every exam. The head teacher couldn't bear it any longer. He scolded him in front of the whole class: I gave you my eyes, you rotten bastard, and you passed the college entrance examination. Hearing this, the poor students bowed their heads and said nothing. When he arrived at the college entrance examination, he was unexpectedly admitted to a book. This story tells us how much he hates teachers!

10, the disciple asked Tang Priest, "Master, why did you accept us as disciples?" The Tang Priest said, "Because of your weapons!" Wukong said, "Why, you don't use force. Our weapons are useless to you! " But the Tang Priest said, "Useful, useful, very useful! Wukong, your golden hoop is getting smaller, scrape your ears; Bajie's weapon has become smaller, that is, scratching Dont Ask For Help; Friar Sand's weapon has become smaller, which is a razor! These three tools are really useful when you are away from home! " apprentice ...

1 1, to travel, the tour guide said that the more fruit bees around here, the sweeter the fruit. I saw a fruit surrounded by bees and asked, what kind of fruit is this? Guide: This is a hornet's nest. Me: ...

12, "White rabbit, white, so cute to jump." "Isn't it cute not to jump?" "Don't jump rope ... it's delicious in the pot, not cute!"

In 13 and 1979, Sweden still regards homosexuality as "a disease". Smart Swedish citizens are angry with this regulation and fight back. They called in sick one after another because "I feel a little gay today."

14. Unfortunately, the ship sank to the bottom of the sea and there were few survivors. Relatives took the captain to court, and the judge asked him, "What caused this accident?" The captain replied disdainfully, "I have the right to remain submerged."

Humorous and happy short joke 2 1, a friend of mine is very frugal and will never give up anything. One winter I went to his house to play and saw him taking a bath with cold water. I said, what's wrong with you? How to take a bath with cold water in such a cold day? As a result, this product said something that I will never forget: there are still two boxes of cold medicine at home, and it will expire if I don't take it.

2, take the bus in the morning, there are many people! Suddenly I felt that the bag was passive and found that it was a thief in his thirties. So I shouted, "You want to die! Go through my bag! " I saw this man take two steps back and said with a look of panic, "Big Brother, I'm a novice. I don't steal money, so I practice ... "

3. One night when I wanted to buy snacks, Mommy stopped me and asked me, "Don't you lose weight?" I said, "Hi … Anyway, I have a boyfriend, and someone wants to …" Then my mother looked at me for a long time and said something very inspiring: "Don't want to change?"

4. A college student went to see a doctor. The doctor checked and said, "It doesn't matter, just an injection." The doctor wiped the students' arms with cotton wool three or four times. Thinking that he was seriously ill, the student asked anxiously, "Doctor, is the problem serious?" The doctor said seriously, "classmate, it's time for you to take a bath."

A man is on the bridge and reports that there is a bomb under the bridge. The police found many bomb disposal teams. I came to the bridge and opened two boxes with bombs under it. I found four twos in one box and two kings in another box!

6. The ship hit a rock in the sea and was about to sink. The passengers made a hullabaloo about, but only one passenger was munching on biscuits. They said, "What time is it? How can you afford it? " The passenger replied plausibly, "My stomach is not very good. The doctor told me not to drink water on an empty stomach! " "

7. Q: Looking for a costume TV series. The story is that the hero falls into a cave and eats mushrooms. His martial arts are very powerful! Some people say it's Jin Jian Diaoling, others say it's The Condor Heroes. The last person replied: Super Mary!

8. A man went through all the hardships to find seven dragon balls. After the dragon appeared, he said that he would realize his three wishes. The man blurted out and wanted a train ticket home. Shenlong thought for a moment and said, "You can get on my back, or I'll carry you home!" "

9. A young man who just learned to ride a motorcycle accidentally bumped into an old woman. Young man: Grandma, I'm sorry! I'm not good at riding ... Grandma: I'm not good at riding, but I can play so accurately!

10, each industry has its own granddaddy: carpenter Bailuban; Tofu shop worships Liu An; The silk industry worships Lei Zu. The grandfather of the courier company should be Santa Claus. On February 24th, 65438, the boss of the express delivery company led all the salesmen to pay homage to their ancestors under the Christmas tree, commemorating the legend that the express delivery industry delivered hundreds of millions of pieces overnight, and customers were never allowed to open the box for inspection and then sign for them.