April fool's joke

April Fool's Day is a popular holiday in the West. On this day, people can play tricks on others. They try their best to make fun of people every day, so they are gradually sought after by young people in China. Let's share some humorous jokes about April Fool's Day.

Humorous jokes on April Fool's Day 1 1 A blind man and a lame man rode a bicycle in partnership. The blind pedal, the lame watch the road. When walking, the lame man saw a ditch ahead and said, ditch, ditch. The blind man immediately responded: Oh, yes, yes, yes, and then fell into the ditch.

2, the face is not thick, the ability is not enough; Beauty is not exposed, and the pervert is not tempted; Men are not bad, women don't love them; No gifts, no human feelings; If you don't worship money, you won't get rich soon.

3. Child: Teacher, our family all likes small animals. Teacher: Tell me about it. Child: Mom likes puppies, and I like kittens. Teacher: What about Dad? Child: Mom says Dad likes foxes.

The defendant promised that if you could only put me in prison for half a year, I would get 5000 yuan. Later, the defendant got his wish, and the lawyer said while collecting money, this is really tricky. The judge had hoped to be acquitted.

After George went to prison, his relatives and friends visited him from the future. The warden sympathized with him: Don't you have any friends or family to visit you? George replied helplessly, yes, but they are all in prison!

M: I'm sorry that I lied to you, saying that the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, that I love you forever and that I miss you. Woman: That's all right. When I say holding your hand, I mean from the heart to the ancient times. Actually, I had plastic surgery. When I met you, I was close to ancient times!

7. The reporter asked the survivors of Chengdu No.9 bus: Is there a hammer on the bus? Survivor: There is a hammer! Reporter: Why not hit the window with a hammer? Survivor: Maud, there is a hammer! A hammer! Reporter: Do you have a hammer? .

8. The bedroom is on the sixth floor. I climbed up and found that I didn't have my key. I'll go downstairs and let my aunt get it. Then I climbed up to open the door, went down to return the key and climbed up again. I found the door closed and a classmate next door passed by. "Look, your door is open. Let me close it for you."

9. I got paid today and called my husband: "Honey, what do you want to eat? I'll buy it for you after work. " The husband said, "Oh, great, I want to eat roast duck!" " ""well, within 5 yuan, just pick! "Husband:" Then give me ten 5-yuan roast ducks. "

10, where the sun shines, there is my silent blessing. When the moonlight shines on the earth, I pray silently. At the moment when the meteor passed by, I made a wish: I wish you stay away from the swine flu virus while reading the text message.

1 1, the supermarket was crowded with people, and suddenly the broadcast sounded: "Which parent lost a 4-year-old boy wearing a yellow plaid shirt and blue jeans, please go to the service desk to claim it immediately." I saw a tired woman next to her immediately said to the man next to her, "Go and buy some food, and someone will look after the children for us."

12. One day, my son played in a child's house for a long time. The son said to the child, "I want to drink water." The child said, "You have saliva in your mouth. Do you still want a drink of water? "

13, someone had a dog, and he got bored and abandoned it. However, the dog knows the way home, and it is fruitless to abandon it several times. One day, a man abandoned the dog after driving around many corners, called his family late at night and asked: Who owns the dog? A: I'm back! The man growled, put it on the phone, I'm lost!

14, the man doesn't look at the bill to pay, he is chasing this woman; When he began to pay attention to the items on the bill, he had caught up with the woman; When he looked at the bill and complained that it was too expensive, his relationship with this woman was very stable.

15, I can't help stealing vegetables online every day. Dinosaurs and frogs are in love, and they are tired of aesthetics. Goodbye. Online games kill some ghosts, and the privacy of scarves basks in the sun. It's strange that stars don't show up, which makes fans BT. If you don't reply to my text messages, I won't shoot you!

16, Teacher: I have been your teacher for one year. I wonder if my classmates are still satisfied with me? Student: You are our most popular teacher. We really want to hang your portrait and burn it when we have time.

17, a friend who likes to show off called me: "You know, I am in Bali now." I said, "Oh, I'm only five miles from you." "What? Have you also gone abroad? " "I am in Sanlitun."

18, a young man had a car accident, and the nurse said to him, "Touch your leg, do you still feel it?" The young man touched his leg: "Alas! Still very emotional! " The nurse shouted, "Touch your leg!"

19, q: Three guys, potato chips, iced tea and chewing gum, are arguing, please judge by the tortoise. Who does the tortoise agree with? A: I agree with iced black tea because it is unified! Have you ever heard of unified potato chips or unified chewing gum?

20. An escaped prisoner was arrested. The policeman asked: Why did you escape from prison? Answer: Because the food tastes terrible. Ask again: Then what tool did you use to pry open the iron gate of the prison? A: Fried dough sticks in the morning.

2 1. The oriole sang in Liu Cui and saw a weasel foraging. Angry way: you are a thief who steals chickens and dogs all day, bringing shame on Lao Huang's family! The voice did not fall, and the oriole was killed. The weasel sighed. Now you don't know how to eliminate pornography!

22. A clerk asked for leave and said that he would go to see a doctor. When the boss went out, he happened to meet the clerk with his girlfriend and asked, didn't you say to see a doctor? The clerk replied: boss, my girlfriend is a doctor!

23, just came out to eat noodles, the waiter cleaned up the dishes, and there was a big pile in his hand! I accidentally fell into pieces! When the proprietress saw it, she thought the waiter was going to be scolded. As a result, she said: nothing, it blossomed, and I earned a lot this year.

24. My wife plays mahjong and goes home in the early morning. In order not to disturb her husband, she stripped off her clothes in the living room before entering the bedroom. Just when her husband woke up, he was furious: it's too much! You lost everything?

25. If there were no stars in the sky, I would hold your hand in the dark; If the end of the world comes, even if there is no escape, I will let you snuggle up next to me-you are so kind, flashlight!

I remember the first time I had sex with my girlfriend. It happened that she was menstruating. At that time, I was happy to think that it was her first man. Who knows that while wiping blood, she calmly said: Every time I come to menstruation with a man, I will come to menstruation! Shit! What do you mean?

27. I confessed to the goddess on April Fool's Day. She told me shyly that she was afraid of being cheated on April Fool's Day, so let's talk about it tomorrow. I told her again early this morning, and she even said that April Fool's Day had arrived, so stop joking.

28. The child came to his mother in tears, and her mother asked, What's the matter, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mom: Then why are you crying? Child: Because I just laughed.

29. Once I went to KTV with my friends, a man was singing. I just came out of WC after singing and happened to sit next to the man who just finished singing. She threw it next to my PP, and then I put a P, which was super loud. Ha ha ha ha! Then everyone looked at me. At that time, there was no song. I was so beautiful!

No one can take your place in my heart. No one can make me unforgettable like you. No one can be as charming and capable as you. I want to say that I love you very much, RMB!

3 1, it is sometimes difficult to be a penguin. For example, if you fly into a rage and want to walk away angrily ... but you should be as cute as you!

32. The standard of a good man in the new era: a diploma, two languages, three rooms and two halls; Famous brands in the four seasons, with correct facial features; Six parents don't recognize it, and the monthly salary is 7,000; Exquisite in all directions, nine cigarettes do not touch; Very honest.

33. In the third grade, I was quite fat. I have a girlfriend who thinks she is quite fat. Then she said she would take me to lose weight. Then I lost weight, and she was fatter than before. She said it was all my fault. She gave her so many things and then broke up with me in a rage.

34. Get my message and save you from the abyss of henpecked husband. If your wife wants you to wear colorful clothes, you can wear a shirt, man. Just keep it simple. If you want to kneel on the washboard, you don't have to. My place. I'm in charge

35. Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to drive away all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out for shelter from the rain, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

36. Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes. One day, the old man who taught biology asked slowly, "Students, how many chromosomes are right?" An idiot in the corner loudly replied, "64 pairs!" " "The old man nodded calmly and seriously." Well, now tell me, what's the purpose of your coming to earth? "

37. I went to the school toilet yesterday, which is the kind of pit after pit and the seats are separated one by one. I lost a fifty-cent coin when I took off my pants. I feel a little distressed and can't continue to take off my pants. I broke down again. My heart is broken! Then a sentence came from the pit behind: "Shit, you think this is a wishing pool!" " "

38. I heard that you accidentally fell into the garbage pit this morning and couldn't get up. Just then, an old lady who picks up junk reached out and pulled you up, saying that city people are really wasteful. They are just a little ugly and can't be thrown away!

39. My lover is a stunning beauty. Finally, one day she will marry me on a fire-breathing dinosaur, but I saw her mount, but I didn't see her owner.

40. Smile in your heart, take stock of seven tricks to pick up girls, turn misunderstanding into love, get the "backyard", see the truth in adversity, don't blush when you lie against your will, sweet words are indispensable, coquetry is lazy and pitiful, and risk is the key to emotional sublimation.

4 1. After France was eliminated, Zidane tore the zipper of the sportswear in a rage. Later, he went to the Tokyo store and bought a new one. He gestured to the clerk for a long time, and the clerk took out the knife to prepare for caesarean section.

42. The mother said to her son, Dad is entertaining a Yugoslav at home in the evening. When the father and the guests stepped into the house, the child whispered to his mother: Mom! Come and see, that lady is a man!

43. Yesterday, a buddy made a girlfriend, and we were all surprised, because he was always different and didn't like love. He asked the reason, and replied, It's too hot for gentlemen to take umbrellas when they go out.

44. Go out to play by bike with classmate XXX. Suddenly the valve core of his car was broken, so I took mine out and put it on him. Later, we rode home happily together.

45. When Liu came home from a business trip, he heard a groan in the room and couldn't help thinking, "Is there a stranger at home?" "You think too much!" Liu's wife suddenly opened the door. "You know them all."

46. Just after taking the elevator, a beautiful woman came up and took a rope. I stared at the end of the rope for a long time, but there was nothing. The beauty looked at me and shouted, Oh, my God! Where is my dog!

47. One day, a frog kissed the rabbit and ran away. The rabbit ran after him. Frogs enter the pond in an emergency. Soon, a toad climbed out. Rabbit laughed: haha, sample, allergic!

48. Pigs have many uses. Pig hair can be used as a brush, pig skin can be used as a leather bag, pork can be eaten, and pig's sense of smell can detect mines. With the progress of society, pigs have learned to read short messages!

49. Breast enhancement is a very popular beauty project, so do you know the best way to do breast enhancement exercise? Tolerance is ok, because "tolerance is great"!

50. The lawyer instructed the typist to write a letter to another lawyer face to face: How to start? Is that your dear sir? But he's a total jerk and liar. You can't call him that, you can only call him dear colleague!

April Fool's Humorous Sketch 2 1, April Fool's Day. Ordinary youth: something must be done. Literary youth: the twelfth anniversary of my brother's death. Idiot youth: The traffic is coming!

2, you are as white as cotton, pure and dazzling; You are as beautiful as snow. You fly with the wind, like a butterfly; You keep traveling. Dandelion, why can you fly to the sky in one breath?

3. The saddest story in the world is not that no one confessed on Valentine's Day and April Fool's Day, but that someone finally confessed to you, but you lived in Tomb-Sweeping Day. @ Li Tiegen

4, April Fool's Day, remind everyone of three points: First, lying is limited to noon 12, you have to explain clearly in the afternoon; Second, don't make fun of other people's life and health, otherwise it will bring misfortune to yourself; Third, the lie you told will not come true within a year. For example, you say, "I found someone!" You can play for a while, but you have to be single for another year.

5. A crow shouted, "Look, UFO!" Both the pig and the donkey looked up, and the crow smiled: "Haha, I was cheated. Today is April Fool's Day, or the monkey is clever, but you didn't watch it. Happy April Fool's Day! "

6, Valentine's Day confession, people do not listen. April fool's day confession, people don't believe it. Qingming confession, people should not. Alas.

7. Whoever lets me celebrate April Fool's Day, I will let him celebrate Tomb-Sweeping Day! You can still catch up with this year's!

8. The donkey told the fish that the fish was stupid. The donkey said the fish was more stupid. The donkey said the fish was more stupid. The donkey said the fish was stupid. The donkey said the fish was stupid. The donkey said the fish was stupid. Do you know whether the donkey is more stupid or the fish is more stupid? Don't you know? That's good. Happy April Fool's Day!

9. Notice: On February 14, I will keep photos of anyone showing their love in a circle of friends in Weibo. Once your marriage partner changes, I will print photos and put in the gift money. I hereby inform you that I hope everyone will pay attention.

10, looking at the advertising screen, I have to sigh that the Chinese nation has not let people down! Successfully celebrated April Fool's Day as Valentine's Day!

1 1. If no one confesses to you on April Fool's Day, you are doomed to die alone!

12, the day before yesterday was Physician's Day, yesterday was Easter, and today is April Fool's Day. Together, do you want to say: the status of doctors wants to be resurrected, and that is a fool! Look, National Day comes after Teacher's Day. Tip: Teachers all over the country will celebrate festivals! (Emergency Superwoman Yu Ying)

13, send out this method to sublimate the whole teacher, write "Teacher ... I'm so tired ..." on the blackboard, then put the shoes on the windowsill, and finally everyone lay on the floor below ... What was the brainchild's idea? It really felt like pushing the teacher's heart down the abyss with one punch. ...

14. Today is April Fool's Day. Not stupid is a fluke. Stupidity is an honor. I'm relieved not to be stupid. If you are stupid, you should be happy. I wish you a "fool" in your work, a "fool" in your ability, a "fool" in your life, and a quick fool!

1 April 51April Fool's Day, the person who is fooled the most is the person who has the most friends, the person who is fooled the most is the cleverest and naughty person, the person who is not fooled is the most respected person, and the person who does not want to fool others is the most caring person. No matter who you are, I wish you a happy April Fool's Day!

16, the sky is not blue without you, and the earth won't turn without you; You are our pride, you make this festival more joyful; At this moment, I send you a congratulatory letter, wishing you a bright smile during the holiday; Happy April Fool's Day!

17, career does not seek "stupidity", love is never "stupidity", and it often takes advantage of "stupidity". Every year, financial resources are rolling in, and good luck is "stupidity". Wish: Happy April Fool's Day!

18, dust off innocence, be bound and lively, fly freely, pack intelligently, and make happiness hopeless. Just release a little stupidity and walk the rivers and lakes. Dear friends, Happy April Fool's Day!

19, you are handsome and generous, you talk elegantly, you are a leader in the crowd, you are a heartthrob in the crowd, today is April Fool's Day, no matter how you lie, God will forgive me, hehe, I wish you a happy April Fool's Day.

20. I love you all my life! This is true, please believe me! You are my baby! Life can't live without you! Only I know your heart best! Your eyes are the softest (see the third word of every sentence). Happy April Fool's Day!

2 1, today is April fool's day, you should be careful; Friends have bad intentions and make you happy; Someone is kind, don't be sincere; Always be careful, be careful when carving; Send you a concern, may you feel at ease today. Happy April Fool's Day!

22. Congratulations, your mobile phone number was hit by a lucky golden egg and won the special prize. Please bring the original ID card, the original household registration book and two one-inch photos, and come to our place to receive the prize quickly, before it expires. Prize: a piece of toilet paper.

23. The quality of short messages depends on the curative effect. Stare at this message for 20 seconds. Look: Is your speech clear, your mind is not lacking, your nerves are normal, and your IQ is not zero? That's right. Haha, look at the effect more. Happy April Fool's Day to you.

24. I collect a few tons of "fools" every year and gather several baskets of "fools get water". My family gave it to "Century Fool". I hope that you who are "smarter than fools" will learn the wisdom of a monkey as soon as possible. Eight quit to give thanks. Haha, happy April Fool's Day!

25. One of the most heinous functions of April Fool's Day is to base your happiness on the stupidity of others. But I won't enable this function today, because ... you are already enjoying it! Happy April Fool's Day!

26. This short message is a good thief. I have no worries when I receive it, less pain when I read it, high salary when I forward it, and I can take orders in groups. The content is: April Fool's joke, it is very important to grasp the scale. Just be sincere and happy. May you be laughed at by fools.

27. Quick identification method of fool SMS: the receiver is "stupid" every year, the respondent is "stupid" every month, the sender is "stupid" every day, the depositor is "stupid" all the time, and the deletion person is not "stupid". Wish: Happy April Fool's Day!

28. With a little praise, I ran away. If you give a little praise, you will not find a satisfactory north. If you are called stupid by your friends on April Fool's Day, you will laugh stupidly: What a wonderful world! Happy April Fool's Day!

Today is April Fool's Day. I wish you: troubles and worries are like swimming at the bottom of a pot, and "stupidity" is completely destroyed. Your figure and appearance are as heavy as "stupid", and you look better when you fall wild. Your career success is like flying a kite. You can jump more smoothly. Love is sweet, you can enjoy the happiness of stupidity, and life is as happy as stupidity.

29. When you receive a message, you will look brand-new and learn how to be a person. If you read this message, you will become a fool. If you don't turn, you will become a fool. Deleting it proves that you are an idiot. The reply shows that you are not an adult. This message is a scam, and a fool will be sent on April Fool's Day. Happy fool!

30. You are wearing a red cloth pocket, a pair of crossed trousers and a pair of yellow cloth shoes. You jump up and down happily. From a distance, Nezha seems to kowtow on the hot wheels. Take a closer look: God, puppies can still dress up as non-mainstream!

3 1, your figure is always so slim, your skill is always so agile, your life is always very leisurely, you visit famous mountains in Sichuan all day, and the food you eat is pure natural and pollution-free green food. Alas, it's good to be a monkey! Happy April Fool's Day!

32. This information is purely harassing information! Warning: If you are still awake, go to sleep. If you just slept, turn over and go back to sleep. If you sleep for a long time, get up and go to the toilet before going to sleep. If you really don't want to sleep, just pick up your mobile phone and harass those who want to sleep with me!

People say you are all thumbs. I believe that fools are blessed. People say you are a fool, and I believe wishful thinking can sometimes come true. People say you are stupid and ignorant. I know cleverness is your magic weapon!

34, big sand melon wet mud, bait white night wet mud, deep stem ice wine wet mud, lazy pet night wet mud, stand up and wash for monkeys, see fragrant wine wet mud. If the mud cuts the monkey to show love, chopsticks will make the tree happy April Fool's Day, do you know my mind?

35. Your mind is at peace with the world, your life is carefree, your appetite is always like a bag that can't be held, your sleeping posture is sweet and innocent, your life is more leisurely than a fairy, and it's not bad to be a pig!

36. Black eyes, straight nose, fluffy head and silly face make me want to sleep at night. How I want to touch you, hug you and watch you chew a bone in the sun: you are my beloved 8 puppies!

April Fool's Humorous Sketch 3 1, "Men don't want to fall in love since autumn!" "Why?" "In the second half of the festival one after another! Christmas, New Year's Day, Spring Festival, Valentine's Day! Buy gifts if you want to have a holiday! It costs money! The cost of picking up girls is too high! " "..." "and that's not the point!" "Well ... what's the key?" "Wear too much in winter! I can't touch anything when I hold it together! "

2. Comrades: Don't speculate in stocks. It's too risky Tofu is the safest! Tofu is dry and hard, tofu brain is thin, tofu skin is thin, soybean milk is useless, and stinky tofu stinks!

3. A Russian got lost while traveling. In the evening, he went to a small village on the border of China. It is snowing all over the sky. He was too cold to stand, so he knocked on the farmer's door and asked for accommodation. An old lady asked loudly in the room, "Who are you?" The Russian said, "ilych Wa Mopolov Krilavich!" There were so many people that the old lady slammed the door she had just opened.

4. A sister goes home by train. It is very crowded. She is still hungry. Seeing this crowded aisle, she was inspired. She walked with the edge of the instant noodle box, shouting "Watch out for scalding water", and it was clear. A few minutes later, the sisters turned back and shouted, this time there is really boiled water! There is really boiled water!

Today, a female friend said that she was lovelorn, so she consoled that "three-legged toads are hard to find, and men with two legs are everywhere." The woman said without thinking, "I want a man with three legs."

6. My friend and I were waiting for someone by the roadside when I suddenly smelled alcohol. So I said, "Where is the smell of wine? It smells good! " My friend patted me on the shoulder calmly, pointed in one direction with his finger, looked around, and a 40-year-old uncle vomited wildly on the roadside. I suddenly petrified.

7. There are two boys talking on the playground. A asked a B, "Do you pay more attention to the connotation or appearance of girls?" A certain B replied: "Of course it is appearance!" A said, "Isn't this too superficial? Beauty is only temporary! " A B replied, "But ugliness is eternal!

8. That day, I was in a coffee shop and saw a very melancholy woman. She has a cup of coffee in her hand, a fashionable foreign magazine and white IPhone4 headphones on the table. In the corner of the table next to her is a new autumn LV bag of 1 1. Looking at the snow outside the window with unusually melancholy eyes. Suddenly, she frowned slightly and said softly, "damn sweeping pornography, I can't stand standing in the street."

9. In Chinese class, the teacher said, "In fact, weasels don't eat chickens, which is the conclusion drawn by scientists through experiments. I once locked a chicken and a weasel together. Guess what happened the next day? " The classmate replied: "The chicken is pregnant!"

10. Aunties in boys' dormitories treat boys as their sons, while aunts in girls' dormitories treat girls as their daughters-in-law.

1 1. Today, I learned a new word "scientific surfing the Internet". Great netizens now call it scientific surfing.

12 One day, the class teacher asked the freshmen, "Which one of you has studied mathematics?" Xiao Ming raised his hand high.

13, the anti-freezing problems of people in the north and south can be summarized as follows: the anti-freezing figures of people in the south are high, and the anti-freezing equipment of people in the north is high.

14, I am an orthopedic surgeon, and I often have operations. One day, I had an operation to fracture my tibia and fibula. The patient is a middle-aged man in his forties. I have no idea what happened that day. Several electric drills were changed during the operation, and they were all broken, so they could not work well. At this moment, the patient who had been lying there quietly suddenly spoke feebly: Let me see, I repair the electric drill. ...

15, one day I pretended to be deep and said, "This man's energy is getting worse and worse when he is old ..." At this time, a classmate Y next to him smiled and said, "Whose age?"

16, in a word: women watch Korean dramas and use a lot of paper towels every year. Actually ... why don't men watch Japanese dramas?

17, my girlfriend and I are both first love. I haven't seen my girlfriend for three months, so I decided to find a place where no one was there, and then I kissed her. Just when I was passionate, she said, how can you kiss? I suddenly don't know what to say.

18, the stupidest thing I have ever seen is that a cerebral palsy just told me: my head will change color! , and then said a change, and went offline.

19, the man has a crush on the woman, and the man is timid. It's too much to drink bravely and confess. Confession, female shock, promise in surprise, male ecstasy. Dai Ri's man was drunk, and he didn't remember yesterday at all, and he continued to secretly love his daughter.

20. The primary killer of English teachers is: fixed collocation, the advanced killer is: analyzing the context, and the ultimate killer is: you think too much.

2 1. The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death. It's that I'm standing next to you and you're playing with your fucking cell phone.

22. Mozart is also a wonderful flower. First of all, he likes to shit. In his letters to his father and lover, "shit is delicious" and "goodbye, take care and shit in bed." In a letter to his cousin, he wrote: "Oh, my ass hurts like a fire! ..... There may be feces coming out!

23. I feel unrequited love on Saturday, breakup on Sunday, lovelorn on Monday, unrequited love on Tuesday, unrequited love on Wednesday, confession on Thursday, first love and school love on Friday.

24./kloc-at the age of 0/8, he said arrogantly, hey, fall in love with me! 20-year-old frivolous: it's been two years and you haven't decided yet? 22 years old, in the prime of life: postgraduate entrance examination can support you.