The better you are, the more isolated you feel.

The better you are, the more isolated you feel.

The better you are, the more isolated you feel. The ancients said it well, if the trees are beautiful in the forest, the wind will destroy them; if the behavior is higher than others, the crowd will be different. Of. This is indeed the case in real life. The better you are, the more jealous and criticized you will be. The better you are, the more isolated you feel. Let’s take a look at the reasons. The better you are, the more isolated you feel 1

In a certain work environment, a person who is excellent in all aspects will inevitably make others jealous and isolate him intentionally or unintentionally. At the same time, the encouragement from his boss prompted him to become more motivated and strong in order to better protect himself. This forms a vicious circle: being isolated - getting better and stronger - becoming better - and being more isolated. When you know you are being slandered behind someone's back, you will infer that everyone else is in the same group, and you are the only one who is excluded from the group. This invisible force only makes you more hurt.

Hidden under every emotional reaction of a person is an unmet psychological need. If a person is depressed because he is isolated or ignored, what he needs is to be valued, tolerated and cared for. In life, there are different people who can meet our needs. If you care about the approval of your lover, go to your lover to find it. If you care about the encouragement of your parents, go to your parents to find it. This process is actually a process of clarifying one's own support system and establishing a support system. Specifically, the ability to create intimacy and enhance heart-to-heart connection.

Cultivating or creating an intimate relationship requires improving the four basic abilities of awareness, empathy, expression, and trust.

Awareness. Awareness is the most important ability to establish an intimate relationship, that is, having a clear understanding of the occurrence and changes of your own inner emotions and needs. Awareness is a powerful tool for understanding oneself. Intimacy focuses on the blending of souls. If one does not understand one's own feelings and needs, it is impossible to communicate with others.

Expressiveness. In close relationships, it is necessary to express your needs clearly. If you cannot express yourself completely, others will not be able to understand you clearly, and misunderstandings and estrangements will arise, affecting normal interactions and communication.

Reliability. The more you can trust the other person, the more the other person will be able to understand your needs. Even if there is some unpleasantness between you, it will be resolved in a relatively short period of time. Moreover, in every aspect of your communication with others, trust plays a subtle role, affecting the depth and distance of the relationship.

Empathy. The deeper your awareness of yourself is, the deeper your knowledge and understanding of others will be. The so-called "people have the same mind and the same principle" is this truth. Empathy is different from sympathy. It is the ability to feel the needs of others without losing yourself. There is no doubt that empathy builds a bridge of communication between people.

Workplace Tips: For any company, your importance is not determined by your value, but by your use value. The better you are, the more isolated you feel 2

1. For a working person, it would be a pity if no one always envy, envy or hate him!

If you think about it carefully, many people have psychology such as envy and jealousy. And if a person has not even made others envious and jealous for a long time, it would be a bit...

All living beings, everyone is a mortal. We have not yet reached the point where reason completely surpasses sensibility and emotion. Besides, although people in society have equal personalities, they need to admit that everyone’s overall quality, way of thinking, etc. are very different. It is inevitable that some people will be petty, pink-eyed, or go from envying someone to jealousy, hatred, and exclusion... This is the normal composition of social groups. And these manifestations are the same in the workplace. It is best to look at these things very calmly. This is an organic part of the "appearance of all living beings"!

What kind of person doesn’t find others to envy and envy? That must be someone who has nothing outstanding in all aspects, and is even inferior to most people in many areas! I think none of us should want to be like that. Therefore, as long as one's performance exceeds that of others, is different from others, or has something that makes them feel that they cannot keep up, climb, or fail, it will inevitably cause envy and jealousy. This leads to "hate" or rejection.

Therefore, when you are lucky enough to be envied, jealous, hated, or excluded by others, first stay calm and rational! Because this is almost bound to happen! Don’t embarrass yourself with thoughts like “why?” Because you are dealing with people who have emotions, sensibilities, and ways of thinking that are very different!

2. Don’t take those exclusions seriously!

Some exclusions are not issues that can be resolved! It’s a question of whether it’s worth solving! ——This logic needs to be clarified! In society and in the workplace, there is some exclusion, but we don’t need to pay attention at all! No need to worry! The manifestations of these exclusions are:

1. The groups and gangs that the people who exclude you claim to have formed actually have no impact on their own development space;

2. The people who exclude you, Their influence is simply not enough to pose any threat to their status in the entire company, the trust of their leaders, etc.;

3. Those who just feel panicked have nothing to do with it. If your own work and development are harmed, there will be no substantial obstacles; if it is this kind of exclusion, why do you care about him? !

In daily life, when you meet these people, just treat them as if nothing is wrong. Communicate where you should communicate, and communicate where you should communicate. Where work is not involved, just reduce the number of contacts. Often, even if you have a good relationship with these people who exclude you now, you will still feel conflicted in your heart if you are promoted to a leader in the future! Just do what you want! Otherwise, don’t waste your brain cells!

If you can't pass your own psychological barrier, it's your own business! Because we can't change the psychology of those people at all, and it's not worth wasting time and energy on something with little possibility! Those who do not pose any threat to themselves are often just people holding together to keep warm. Don't worry. We are here to work, get promoted and earn money! Not here to get emotional!

3. Be careful about ostracizing colleagues who pose a threat to you.

Since it is exclusion, it will inevitably unite with others! Therefore, for those who exclude us, we need to do three things well:

1. Find a breakthrough among the people he unites with!

And look for those who have strength and influence as a breakthrough! Just ignore those who pose no threat! Everyone understands the principle of "disintegration and differentiation"! And in the workplace, many people are not ignorant! It just turns out that we may have neglected to interact and communicate with someone. Let's just make up for this shortcoming.

The initiator of ostracizing you is a threat to you, and the united front he said must be excavated! As long as there are gaps in it, and there is a lack of response and cooperation from powerful and influential people in many places, many things can be easily solved! Don't bother with the rest of the rabble!

2. Strengthen the relationship with upper-level leaders

The old ghost puts it bluntly: If the upper-level leaders do not recognize you, you, your subordinates and colleagues will not be able to wear a pair of pants. use! You can't get good development in the workplace either! It may even be suspected of uniting subordinates and forming a group to evade leadership! Therefore, people in the workplace must be clear: the distance between them and their leaders must be taken seriously! No matter what attitudes and opinions other subordinates hold, this point cannot be shaken at all! Care about their views and opinions and choose to stay away from the leader? Unless your brain is sick!

There must be a balance between what is important and what is not important! Anyway, perfect things don’t exist!

3. Establish a strong network of contacts among colleagues and even society

A person’s influence comes from two aspects: his own strength and the strength of the resources around him . If you don't have the strength, and you don't have strong friends and connections around you, it's impossible for others to be in awe. This is also true in the workplace!

The person who excludes me must consider the influence of the circle of friends around me! If you were a lone wolf, you would be in trouble! To put it another way: If you really are a "lone wolf" who doesn't care about anything, it would be easier to deal with, because you don't care about anything at all! The scary thing is that I am a lone wolf in reality, but I am not a lone wolf in my heart!

Therefore, it is good to make efforts in the above three aspects.

There is no other choice! There can be no utopia or utopia in the workplace! It is simply impossible to imagine that the environment around you can be like your own phenomenon! What is needed is for us to fight for it ourselves.

4. If the person who excludes you is your leader (although this is not the case in this question, I think it is better to tell the whole story!)

If your leader is excluding you for various reasons There is a situation where you join forces with others to exclude you (it may be because you are jealous of your talents, it may be because you are worried that your position will be threatened, or it may be for other reasons!) In this case, there are two options:

1. Comprehensive analysis , and found that this person had a strong relationship with the big boss of the company! Or the relationship with the boss is something we say cannot be shaken, so please leave!

In this case, leaving is the best choice! Don’t think how smart you are, and don’t expect to have any smart ways to wake up your leaders! Unless you have a vital role within the department team, the department will be fatally affected if you leave. Otherwise, leaving is the best option.

If the time is not right, then endure it for now! Just ride the donkey and look for the horse. When you find the right opportunity, leave quickly. Since he is jealous of you, it means that you have the strength to find a better "owner". There is no need to worry about this matter at all.

2. If there is a gap between the leader and the higher-level leader, we can exploit it with both hands:

One hand is to try our best to establish a relationship with the higher-level leader or even the boss. Relationship, gain a higher level of understanding, understanding, trust, trust and support! There is someone in the court who wants to be an official! Only then do you have a chance to make a comeback. Through this kind of action, you may get your boss to give up on squeezing you out, and you may also get the possibility of being transferred to other departments and no longer being controlled by others.

On the other hand, work hard to build a good relationship with the current leader. No matter what the reason is for the leader to exclude himself. This still needs to be done. After all, he is the "leader"! If you have done something that was not in place or good enough before, or if communication really caused misunderstandings, you should take the initiative to admit your mistakes and apologize. (There is no shame in this! Those who dare to lower their heads are the strong ones!)

Or maybe you actually did a good job, but you just can't get the trust of your leader. Then keep doing what you should do! Never let others feel your dissatisfaction, unhappiness, grievance, or depression because of your leadership's fault or badness. Things have happened, and you will never do anything that is not good for your image! It just makes other people laugh! You must work hard where you should work hard. If it doesn't work, you can choose to leave! Never waste your emotions on these things! Impede our progress!