Humorous speeches three minutes before class [5 articles]

# Speech # Introduction The speaker writes the main content and hierarchical structure of the speech in the form of an outline, and makes a speech with it, instead of writing the speech word by word. Its characteristic is that it can avoid the lack of communication between reading and reciting speeches and the audience's thoughts and feelings. This article is five humorous speeches arranged by KaoNet three minutes before class. Welcome to read!

Humorous speech three minutes before a class.

Hello everyone! First of all, tell you a little story:

A father shouts to his children every day: "Look, people 100 points, and you only get 80 points;" You are the captain when he is the captain. When people win the first place in the competition, you win the first place 10. How can I raise such a disappointing son! "

The son was angry and shouted at his father, "Dad, look at Uncle Li. How can you be a small section chief? " Uncle Zhang earns 5 thousand a month. How can you earn two thousand? There is a' big screen' in Mr. Wang's house next door. Why is our home a 2 1 inch TV? How can I have a father like you? "

Dad was anxious: "boy, don't compare with others, people are more popular than others!" " "

The son said, "Then why do you always compare me with others?"

Seeing this reminds me of this sentence on the mural in our corridor, "Never compare your own children with other people's children, because you can't compare yourself with others."

On the long road of life, everyone will have many things that cannot be achieved. Good psychological quality, open-minded, calm and successful; Poor psychological quality, trouble entangled, difficult to extricate themselves, so I fell.

Thank you!

Lesson 2 Humorous speech in the first three minutes

Hello everyone! Sometimes, a minute is long, and sometimes, it's short. There is an interesting sentence on the outer packaging of heart-to-heart tissue: "Sometimes a minute is long, sometimes it is short." Einstein's theory of relativity explains it this way: putting your hand on a hot fireplace for a minute is like an hour; An hour with a beautiful woman will make you feel as short as a minute.

Objective time will not become longer or shorter because of our subjective feelings. One minute is one minute. However, we can feel the speed of time according to our psychological changes. Psychological research found that the same minute, in different situations, that feeling is different.

When we do something we don't want to do, every minute seems like a long torture! When we do what we like, we ignore the passage of time, only to find that time flies so fast!

Last boring class, one minute is very long; Listen to an interesting class, one minute is very short. When you are idle and bored, one minute is very long; When time is badly needed, one minute is very short.

If my speech is wonderful enough, then everyone sitting here will feel that it is a wonderful enjoyment, and one minute is very short. However, if my speech is boring, just a few minutes may be a long test for everyone.

Time disappeared in the blink of an eye. Whether it is a long minute or a short minute, we are either bitter or happy, or painful or happy. After joy and happiness, we smiled and moved on; After the pain and suffering, we constantly reflect, learn lessons and constantly improve ourselves. It is these different minutes that make up our colorful life!

Humorous speech three minutes before three classes.

Hello everyone! Don't let yesterday's depression cover up tomorrow's dreams!

At a seminar, an excellent speaker held a $20 bill in his hand and made no opening remarks.

Facing the 200 people in the meeting room, he asked, "Who wants this $20?" Put one hand up. He went on to say, "I want to give this $20 to one of you, but before that, please allow me to do one thing." As he spoke, he crumpled up the money and asked, "Who wants more?" There are people holding hands. He added, "Well, what if I do this?" He threw the money on the ground, stepped on it and ran it over with his foot. Then he picked up the dirty and wrinkled bill. "Who wants it now?" Someone still raised their hands. "My friends, you had a very meaningful lesson. No matter how I treat that bill, you still want it, because it hasn't depreciated, and it's still worth 20 dollars. On the road of life, we will be knocked down, bullied or even crushed by our own decisions or adversity countless times. We feel as if we are worthless. But no matter what happens, or what will happen, you will never lose value in the eyes of God. In his view, dirty or clean, dressed neatly or sloppy, you are still priceless. "

The value of life lies not in what we do or who we make friends with, but in ourselves! We are unique-never forget this!

Thank you!

Humorous speech three minutes before four classes.

Hello everyone! An ant saw an elephant on the road. The ant got into the soil with only one leg exposed.

Other ants asked inexplicably, "Why are your legs exposed?"

The ant said, "Shh! Don't make any noise, trip him! "

The next day, the rabbit saw the whole nest of ants waiting in line in a hurry and asked why.

The ant replied, "Yesterday, an elephant was tripped by one of our brothers and was seriously injured. Let's donate blood to it. "

Not long after, the rabbit saw a large number of ants coming back and asked what was going on. An ant said, "Oh, only one of them has the same blood type as that elephant. It is enough to leave him there to draw blood. "

On the third day, the rabbit came to the ant and asked: Is the elephant still alive? The ant said helplessly, I carried it. It's too heavy, my waist is bent and I fell too hard!

When an elephant is sick, it should sue ants. The court ruled that ants tripping over elephants were malicious injuries and imprisoned for 6 months.

The ant refuses to accept, "the crime of personal injury is imprisoned for up to 2 months. Why did you sentence me to half a year? "

Judge: "The crime of personal injury is sentenced to February, and tripping an elephant is a crime of racial discrimination, plus 4 months!" "

Lesson 5 Humorous speech in the first three minutes

Dear teachers and classmates: Hello everyone!

The famous writer Tolstoy once said: "There are only two kinds of people in the world: one is a spectator and the other is an actor." . Most people want to change the world, but no one wants to change themselves. "If you want to change the status quo, you must change yourself; If you want to change yourself, you have to change your mind. All achievements begin with the right ideas. A series of failures also began with wrong ideas. To adapt to society, environment and change, we must learn to change ourselves.

Plato told his disciples that he could move mountains, and they all asked for advice. Plato smiled and said, "It's very simple. If the mountain doesn't come, I'll go. " The disciples were in an uproar.

There is no art of moving mountains in this world. A new way to move mountains is: if the mountains don't come, I will go there. Similarly, people can't change the environment, we should change ourselves.

A black boy guards the oak barrel of his father's brewery. Every morning, he cleans the barrel with a rag and arranges it neatly in a row. What makes him angry is that the wind often blows his neatly arranged barrels to the east and west overnight.

The little boy cried bitterly. The father touched the little boy's head and said, "don't cry, son." We can try to conquer the wind. "

So the little boy dried his tears, sat by the bucket, thought for a long time, and finally came up with a solution. He picked a few buckets of clean water from the well, then poured it into empty oak barrels, and then went home to sleep trembling. The next day, at dawn, the little boy got up in a hurry. He ran to the bucket. He saw the oak barrels arranged neatly one by one, and none of them was blown down or tilted by the wind. The little boy smiled happily. He said to his father, "If the bucket is not blown down by the wind, we must increase the weight of the bucket." The boy's father smiled approvingly.

Yes, we can't change the wind and many things in this world, but we can change ourselves and make ourselves heavier, so that we can adapt to the change and not be defeated!

In the basement of Westminster Abbey, the tombstone of the Bishop of the Anglican Church reads: When I was young and free, my imagination had no limit, and I dreamed of changing the world. When I became mature and wise, I found that the world was unchangeable, so I was short-sighted, so I just changed my country! But my country seems to be beyond my control. When I reached my old age, with the last hope of working hard, I decided to change only my family and those closest to me-but, alas! They don't accept change at all. Now when I am dying, I suddenly realize that if I only change myself at first, then I can change my family in turn. Then, with their encouragement, I may be able to change my country. Then, who knows, maybe I can change the whole world.

Life is like water, and people can only adapt to the environment. If you can't change the environment, change yourself. Only in this way can we overcome more difficulties, more setbacks and realize ourselves. If you can't see your own shortcomings and deficiencies, it's really futile to just complain about the unfavorable environment and pin the hope of changing the situation on changing the environment.

Although we can't change the world, we can change ourselves and let us face all the environments with love and wisdom.

Thank you!