What is the psychology of people who complain when something happens at home?

Whenever something happens, she complains that everyone else is wrong and only she is right.

In fact, this kind of person has a low eye and a high hand, and she is the last person to do it. She is the last person qualified to talk about people.

Analyze this kind of person's heart:

1 suppress others, suppress your family, and make yourself dominant in your mind.

(2) In hindsight, I accused my family of not doing that and how to do it.

3 narrow-minded, haggle over every ounce, inconsiderate of the hardships and difficulties of others, will only amplify their discomfort and pay, and complain that their families take less care of them.

This kind of person is too negative to look at things in a normal way and go astray. Treat people around you as garbage bins and dump them from time to time.

The grumbling of those grumblers may make us quarrel with each other, because it sounds unpleasant and unbearable.

Why should we consider it? It's not worth it to make yourself angry for her mistake!

Family is the cell of society, and the stability and harmony of family is also the cornerstone of social harmony. "Happy families are all similar; Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. " People who often complain are also the initiators of unhappy families. What is the psychological root of their complaints?

First, he has no skills. What his wife did and did well was due to him. If it is not done well, that is the source of his complaint. Such people have no responsibility to muddle along, once someone tries to break this comfort. He will definitely stop and not want to make trouble.

The success of this matter is his capital to obtain foreign credit. If things go wrong, he will complain. If he had listened to me, he wouldn't have this consequence and was busy cleaning himself up.

Second, he is good at everything, and he is willing to complain when he meets something, degrading the other party to nothing. He is arrogant and does have some talents. In contrast, his wife is at a disadvantage, not as good as him. Husband and wife share weal and woe, one glory and one loss.

Especially in front of outsiders, we should pay more attention. The sentence "Teach your son face to face and your wife behind his back" explains this meaning. Everything must save face for the other party, and you can't complain in public, let outsiders see jokes, and lead to family discord.

Third, he (she) always treats others well, feels that his home is not good, and has complaints. Family members get along with each other day and night, only seeing shortcomings. Compared with the strengths of outsiders and the shortcomings of their own homes, outsiders will naturally be stronger than their own homes, so they complain more than. ...

This is not a wise move, which will alienate families from Germany, drift away and even break up families. It is necessary to find the root of the complaint, find the crux in time, and actively solve the problem.

Eliminate contradictions in the bud, gradually eliminate or reduce complaints, and family members should also run in with each other, be tolerant, United and friendly, so that families will be happy and admired!

People who like to complain, in fact, their psychological state can be roughly dissected like this ~

The first is the performance of mental unhealthy-like to put the responsibility on others and put yourself in the role of judge and referee. It seems that they have a strong sense of correctness and authority on any problems and things, but they are extremely insecure and unstable in their bones, showing nagging and broken thoughts.

The most common thing is that you can't do this, that, this and that. It seems that in this world, every family is like the best complainer.

Behind this seemingly strong man is inner self-confidence and uncertainty about family harmony and stability, which has become the accusation and judgment of neuroticism and conditional singles. What you can't see is the lack of security in your bones, not just a habit.

Secondly, it is the habit of family life that breeds, nourishes and strengthens the positioning of this powerful role that likes to complain, and even there is no lack of bravado. When faced with a challenge, it collapses faster than anyone else.

In general family life, there is always a person who will consciously or unconsciously become such a "leader" role, acting as a helmsman and horn commander, regardless of gender. As long as the habit is formed, some people will accept it. Over time, when things go wrong, they will habitually take blaming others as their responsibility.

Everyone knows that family life is not a reasonable place, even if it is stipulated in the third chapter of the contract, it is completely different from society, and enterprise management is so rigid and standardized. Even if there is a mistake, as long as it doesn't touch the bottom line and the law, the biggest mistake and the biggest thing are actually small things, mostly where people like to complain.

Although there is no sense of existence, at least there is a psychological motivation to express yourself and express your sense of superiority. However, once the Jedi counterattack and challenge, this kind of power authority is often the easiest to yield and fragile.

This is also an important historical reason why this personality is most likely to disintegrate unexpectedly in the real life of the family.

Therefore, people who like to complain at home are not always right, but more about their own values, sense of existence and superiority. On the contrary, they often become mines and detonators.

Complaining itself is a typical representative of negative energy. Whether it is foreign communication or family life, it is an annoying and unpleasant expression, which is not constructive, objective and fair, but extremely destructive and lethal.

If you suffer from verbal violence of complaining for a long time at home, even mentally healthy people may have anxiety, depression and even become violent, which is possible.

In many cases of domestic violence killing each other, if you trace back to the source, you will find a very important feature, that is, it takes two slaps to make a sound. When you can't bear it anymore, when you can't bear it anymore, it is often the total explosion, big liquidation and big ending after all the dissatisfaction savings.

For a family, staying away from people who like to complain can make your life less unhappy and less confident, but it is actually difficult to do so.

Therefore, the only thing that can be improved is that people who like to complain have less habitual accusations and more empathetic understanding when facing each other's shortcomings. Even if you are not satisfied, you should be more patient, understand a little tolerance and grow together in calm reflection and constant interaction. This kind of family marriage is meaningful.

Such people are generally dissatisfied with the status quo and have a bad temper.

That's what my mother did. My mother and my father are violent and gentle, so my mother always quarrels and complains at home.

My mother works very fast. Seeing that others are slow, she gets bored, and then she starts to talk. Of course, she is also very capable and strong. If we don't do what she wants, we will be talked about.

No matter what happens at home, no matter who handles it, as long as she does something wrong, she will keep complaining.

Everyone admits that she has a bad temper. She likes to complain and blame others when she meets something unpleasant. We are often involved inexplicably, and she knows it, but she can't change it, because complaining too much may sometimes become a habit.

Once during the Chinese New Year, the door lock of the bathroom at home was broken and the door remained unlocked. I dare not close it for fear that it won't open.

That day, I asked my eldest brother to accompany me to the street. I don't remember now. My parents and my aunt are playing mahjong at home, and my five-year-old niece is at home.

When we got home, they had already dissolved. My mother told us angrily that my little niece ran to the bathroom and closed the door alone. As a result, the door couldn't be opened, and she was crying in it. Four adults didn't open the door for a long time, and finally the little uncle sawed the whole door lock with a tool before opening the door.

Finally, she didn't forget to complain: "If you go out with her (little niece), it won't be like this. Now this lock doesn't need to be repaired at all. "

I feel very wronged in my heart. How can you blame me? But this is her usual style.

Of course, there are times when she doesn't complain, that is, when our work and life are both good. When she comes home at this time, she is usually much more peaceful and good-tempered, and will be happy to cook us a lot of delicious food.

I once chatted with my colleagues and described my mother like this: when she is kind to you, she will move you to the extreme; If she treats you badly, she will call you dog blood.

Besides, she likes Monday morning quarterback. If you regret what happened a moment ago, you will feel that it should not be like that, but it should be like this. It's not necessarily better.

So people who love to complain like this may be uncertain, accustomed or sensitive.

It is said that emotions are contagious. If people around them give them more understanding and divert their attention with happy things, they should be much more peaceful.

This problem is a trivial matter at first, but it is actually a big deal. There are several possibilities for complaining: first, you are under great pressure outside. In view of the inconvenient environment, I was dissuaded by my family after returning home. Second, the love foundation with family members is weak, such as psychological factors such as having opinions on in-laws and even suspecting that children are not their own. It's hard to tell. It seems unpleasant to punish your family by other means. The third is mild depression and manic episode. The above are the points I summarized when I was engaged in public health work. There may be other reasons, such as not having basic information at hand. I will dig and sort it out in the future and communicate with netizens. In a word, family affairs can't be trifles. They are the foundation of building a harmonious society. The society must attach great importance to it, "suit the remedy to the case", do a good job in mediation and counseling, and carry out medical and health psychological intervention when necessary. Resolutely avoid escalating family conflicts!

This kind of person is generally impatient, and it is easy to appear in women and those who bear the main source of income at home.

Give two chestnuts: one is my mother and the other is my father-in-law.

Let's talk about my mother first: My parents are both teachers and are recognized as "model couples" by friends around me. I think so, too, because in my impression, I have never seen them quarrel. But my mother is also recognized as a "bad temper", even she says so herself. If she hadn't met my father, others would have divorced.

My mother is a typical "quick temper". Where is the house dirty? She cleans it as soon as she sees it. She hates procrastinators. In our family, as long as she arranges something, my father and I will be scolded by her, even if we don't have to do it right away. My mother said that whenever she saw someone dragging her feet, she couldn't say how sad she was. And this kind of irritability makes her unable to control herself to complain, and what she says sometimes hurts people. In fact, she also knows that she is not good, but she just can't change it. This is the so-called "a leopard cannot change his spots".

But I sometimes think that this may be related to the strong sense of responsibility of impatient people. After all, there is a "tacit understanding" in China's family, that is, the man is the master and the woman is the master. In a small family, the mother is the leader. She has the responsibility to lead my father and me to maintain order in this family. Therefore, if people in this family procrastinate and don't cooperate with her, she will be impatient and complain about our uncooperative.

Let me talk about my father-in-law. He is the only source of income in the family. My mother-in-law has no job and is only responsible for his "logistics support". As an important pillar of the family, my father-in-law must be under great pressure.

So when he comes home, as long as he sees something not done well, he is easy to get angry and complain. For example, once, my mother-in-law forgot to press the "cook" button on the rice cooker when cooking. My father-in-law came home for dinner and saw that the meal was not ready. As soon as he got angry, he dropped the rice cooker on the floor. And complained: "I can't cook a meal well."

In fact, I can't blame my mother-in-law, because the child is one year old and my parents have to go to work. My wife and I usually don't have time to take care of the children, so we can only give them to my mother-in-law. Mother-in-law has to take care of the housework while taking care of the children, which will inevitably lead to omissions. My father-in-law knew this situation, but he just couldn't help complaining at that time. Although he later realized that he had done something wrong, he also apologized.

So I think a large part of the reason is that he has taken on more pressure in this family and it is difficult to control his emotions. It's easy to complain when something goes wrong, and vent it in this way.

In fact, as a member of the family, we will all encounter unpleasant things. Our aim is to make this family run better, and it is wrong to complain. But in the face of family complaints, we should try our best to understand each other.

What is the psychology of people who complain when something happens at home?

Before analyzing any psychology, let's take a look at how harmful it is if there is a complainer in a family.

Let me give you an example first.

A couple got up in the morning because her husband forgot to close the window last night, and the wife began to complain about her husband's carelessness. Then the husband and wife quarreled, and the three-year-old child next to them cried when he saw his parents quarreling.

As soon as the child cried, the wife began to blame her husband for yelling and frightened the child. Two people send their children to kindergarten full of grievances, and then go to work with grievances.

The child was scared for a day in kindergarten, and then he had a fever. The wife was criticized by the leader for not being able to devote herself to her work. The husband accidentally connected the wrong circuit at work and had an accident, which led to work-related injuries.

The child had a fever and her husband was injured at work, so the wife had to take time off to take care of the child and her husband. As a result, she was resigned from the company because it took too long.

This is the serious consequence of a small complaint. You may not believe that there is such a thing in this world, but I want to tell you it is true, because that husband is my good friend.

Therefore, when one person in a family complains whenever something happens, then the family will always be on the verge of danger.

Then why do some people complain whenever something happens? In fact, nothing more than the following psychological factors:

1. Perfectionists have shortcomings in everything.

If you don't know how to be satisfied, you will always feel that you haven't got enough.

3. The mind is too small to tolerate other people's small mistakes.

4. Self-righteous, you are always right and others are always wrong.

5. I am too controlling and always want to control everything in my own hands.

6. Strong psychology always obtains psychological satisfaction by suppressing others.

So when you have such a person in yourself or at home, you must be very vigilant, handle everything carefully, and don't cause an irreparable situation because of a small matter.

Well, that's my answer.

I think as the head of the family, (subject not marked), we should stand tall instead of blaming others. This is an act of refusing to take responsibility, which makes people laugh.

No matter how big things are, we should bear them, not complain. Some people even swear. Is it useful? When things happen, we should face them bravely.

One thing happened once. A man met a liar. The swindler said that several people would set up a factory in partnership, and three companies would cooperate, each of whom would pay 10 thousand. That was nearly 40 years ago. For an ordinary family, where does 10 thousand yuan come from? It was this liar who took away the hope of two families and put a heavy burden on them. The money is borrowed from relatives and friends. How do we explain it to them?

Because of this, my wife blamed herself and finally committed suicide.

If my wife can carry this sky with men without complaint, maybe the sky won't fall.

When husband and wife live together, they will encounter many things. It takes two people to support this day, whether rich or poor, to walk through spring, summer, autumn and winter together.

What is the psychology of people who complain when something happens at home?

In real life, there are many such people. No matter in family or in communication with others, as long as others make mistakes, even the smallest mistakes, they will encounter overwhelming complaints and reprimands. My friend's husband is such a person.

Friends are accused of coming home late from work, cooking too little and salty, getting up late, ringing the doorbell to affect rest, not saying hello when something happens ... in short, all kinds of complaints and dissatisfaction.

Now summarize the psychology of this kind of person from the following aspects.

First, such people may really be superior in some aspects, so they are pretentious and always feel that they are better than others.

Second, this kind of person is arrogant, thinks highly of himself and doesn't take people seriously.

Third, such people are narrow-minded, petty and have no stomach.

Fourth, such people often rely on their eloquence to confuse right and wrong and pass the buck. Even your own mistakes often take it out on others.

Five, this kind of person is too harsh on people and things, and has no tolerance for people.

6. This kind of person pursues perfection excessively, and he is not perfect, but he can't tolerate the imperfections of others.

Seven, this kind of person is often more careful, good at fault-finding, find fault in eggs.

Eight, this kind of person is too self-centered and always wants to influence others.

Nine, this kind of person has a strong desire to control and always wants to impose his will on others.

This kind of person is very overbearing and always wants to put himself above others.

In short, it is best to stay away from such people and stay at a respectful distance from them.

In every family, there is more or less a person who likes to complain about the existence of God. There are too many subjects to complain about: housework, colleague relationship, children's homework, the living habits of the other half ... it seems that you can complain about everything. This group of people are habitual and are called "inertia complainers".

They looked around with colored glasses. Through this pair of glasses, everything they see at home is often unsatisfactory, and the actions of their families are not up to their own standards.

Because of the negative and pessimistic view of the surrounding environment, too much negative energy is accumulated in my heart, so I can't attack myself inward, but I can only seek to vent my anger outward. Complaining provides an outlet for this, "pouring out" dissatisfaction, thus reducing anxiety and gaining self-protection.

This kind of behavior and emotion is called complaining. It is often because things are not as expected and imagined, so I feel very uncomfortable. I express my dissatisfaction and anger by venting my inner dissatisfaction and dissatisfaction to the person I think is the reason.

@ Xiaowen: On a business trip, I met a couple quarreling in the hotel lobby. I saw my husband complaining about his wife all the time. "It's all your fault. I've said it many times. How can you not change this careless problem? " "Too good, these thousands of dollars are gone now. Why do you feel so useless that you can't even do this little thing well? " Their voices are getting louder and louder, completely ignoring other guests in the store and the embarrassed waiter at the front desk.

After quarreling for a long time, I probably understood: my wife entered the password several times when paying the room fee with a credit card. After pressing the confirm button, the mobile phone prompted that the deduction was successful, but the service staff said that it had not been received. At first, the wife and the waiter had an argument. Later, the waiter repeatedly checked on the computer and did not collect money. So my wife logged into the online banking account and found that the money had been transferred. I called the customer service of the bank, and the customer service said that the money was indeed transferred out, but it was not transferred to the hotel account. There may be something wrong with the transfer operation, and the money has been temporarily frozen, which will take some time to be returned.

For example, the husband who runs around complains that his wife doesn't care about himself, and the mother-in-law helps the baby complain that her daughter-in-law is ungrateful. Even if you want to love each other well, you also use inappropriate expressions of love. For example, in order to urge children to learn, mothers often complain that their children are not motivated, which is counterproductive.

@Miny: A young couple appeared on the program "Old Uncle" because the couple gave birth to a daughter. In order to take care of the children, the wife resigned at home, and the expenses at home depended on her husband alone.

Although my daughter is weaned, she loves to drink imported formula. The cost of formula milk alone is thousands a month. The father of the child thinks that formula milk is not a necessity and can let his daughter quit slowly.

However, the mother thinks that her daughter loves to drink formula milk, and the trace elements in formula milk are helpful to her daughter's physical development, so she insists on not breaking her daughter's formula milk.

The man thought, "I earn so much every month that I can't afford formula milk." Either you go to work. "

The woman felt that she had suffered: "When you married me, you said you would treat me well. Now that the child is so young, I am in poor health. You are a man who can't even afford his daughter's milk powder. What a good man! Where is your responsibility? ! "The couple began to complain to each other.

At this time, the child's grandmother intervened and said, "As long as the child wants to eat, I will pay for the formula every month."

It seems that things have been solved with grandma's support. However, after grandma pays the milk powder every month, she always feels that this son-in-law is too pitiful, lamenting that her daughter is married and distressed. The wife watched her mother send money every month, but there was no movement at home, so she was naturally unbalanced.

People who love to complain have a deep-rooted concept: they are all right and their mistakes are others'. Consciously can't accept the fact that you are wrong, and you must put the blame on others.

They are dissatisfied with the status quo and disgusted with someone, but they are unwilling to change their situation, or they are afraid that they will not get the desired results after the change. By complaining, they can pass the buck and gain a sense of security.

In fact, the essence of complaining is not accepting the present, and it is normal to vent bad emotions such as sadness, pain and dissatisfaction. If depressed, emotions will only accumulate in the bottom of my heart and become a "psychological burden", completely blocking my heart.

But complaining for a long time will cause physical harm. Under the anxiety or pressure caused by long-term complaints and complaints, the nerves in the hippocampus will be damaged. This area is responsible for solving problems and cognitive function.

Then, people who love to complain, their memory and ability to improvise decline. It can also be seen from Baidu that "research shows that the damage of hippocampus affects imagination", and the damage of hippocampus will increase the risk of other mental disorders (such as depression and dementia).

At the same time, complaining also releases a stress hormone called cortisol, which may increase the glycemic index and increase the risk of cardiovascular disease.