Private classic joke

Those classic soldier jokes.

At 1. 19 10, the situation of the US military transmitting passwords once is as follows:

The battalion commander said to the officer on duty: Comet Halley is likely to arrive around 8 o'clock tomorrow night.

The area to view. This comet can only be seen once every 76 years. Order all soldiers to wear field uniforms.

When we meet on the playground, I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. If it rains, it will be here.

Meet in the auditorium, and I will show them a movie about comets.

The officer on duty told the company commander that according to the order of the battalion commander, Comet Halley will be on the playground at 8 o'clock tomorrow night.

It looks empty. If it rains, let the soldiers wear field clothes to the auditorium. This is 76 years.

There will be a rare phenomenon that comes once in a blue moon.

Company commander to platoon leader: According to the battalion commander's order, the extraordinary comet Harley will die at 8 o'clock tomorrow night.

Showing up in the auditorium in a field suit. If the playground rains, the battalion commander will give another order.

Order, this order will only appear once every 76 years.

Platoon leader to squad leader: Tomorrow at eight o'clock, the battalion commander will appear in the auditorium with Halley's comet. this

It only happens once every 76 years. If it rains, the battalion commander will order Comet Halley to put on wild clothes.

Combat uniform to the playground.

The monitor said to the soldiers: ......

2. Fish said: I have been keeping my eyes open to leave your side. ? The water said:? I hug you tirelessly all day. ? The pot said:? You are so stubborn when you are almost ripe. ?

The female teacher drew an apple on the blackboard, and then asked: What's this, little friend? The children said in unison: ass! The female teacher ran out of the classroom crying and complained to the headmaster: children laugh at people. The headmaster came into the classroom and said with a serious expression, why did you make the teacher cry? Ah! And drew an ass on the blackboard!

A woman walked into the post office, asked for an electronic newspaper, wrote it and threw it away. I asked for a second one and then threw it away. After the third letter was written, she handed it to the operator and asked him to send it as soon as possible. After the woman left, the operator became interested in these three telegrams. The first page says: It's all over, and I never want to see you again. On the second page, it says: Stop calling and never see me again. The third part is: take the nearest train and I'll wait for you.

A blonde got on the plane and sat in first class. The stewardess came over to check in and told her: your ticket is ordinary class and you can't sit here. The woman said: I am white and beautiful. I want to fly first class to Los Angeles. The stewardess was helpless and had to report to the team leader. The team leader explained to the beauty: I'm sorry! You didn't get a first-class ticket, so you can only take a regular class. I am white and beautiful. I want to fly first class to Los Angeles. Beauty still repeats that sentence. The captain had no choice but to call the captain again. The captain leaned over and whispered a few words to the beauty, who immediately stood up and strode to the ordinary cabin. The stewardess was surprised and asked the captain what he said to the beautiful woman. The captain replied: I told her that first class would not go to Los Angeles.

In other words, once the soldier's plane crashed and fell into the sea, and the soldier was still alive, so he struggled to shout: Help! Help!

At this moment, a great white shark swam over and shouted, I'm coming! I'm coming!

;