Find me 10 math jokes.

Contrary to my wish, my interest in botany and mineralogy has made me a bachelor all my life. "

Interesting job search

Chen Liyan went to apply for a job. The manager asked him, "How much salary do you ask for a year? 」

"With my working ability, I should be able to earn an annual salary of 18,000 yuan," Chen Liyan said.

The manager stared at him for a while, and then said, "Is it worth a year 18000 yuan?" Is it clear? There are only 365 days in a year. If you sleep eight hours a day, a year is 122 days. 365 days minus 12 1 day. Furthermore, you have eight hours of rest and entertainment besides going to work in the mountains every day, which means 122 days a year. Then subtract 12 1 day from 243 days, leaving only 12 1 day. But there are 52 weeks in a week, and there is no work on Sundays, so 12 1 day subtracts 52 days to leave 69 days. At the same time, every Saturday afternoon is a holiday, so there are 26 days in a year, so 69 days MINUS 26 days leaves 43 days. Minus the two-week annual leave given by the company, there are only 29 days left. Don't forget to have an hour's lunch every day, which means 15 days a year. 29 MINUS 15, leaving 14 days. Excluding public holidays such as the new calendar year, the old calendar year, the Mid-Autumn Festival, Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas *** 10, that is to say, I only work four days a year. Do you think it's worth 18 thousand yuan? 」

The professor said ....

One day, a professor suddenly stopped teaching and seriously said to everyone:

If the classmate sitting in the middle chatting can be as quiet as the classmate sitting in the back playing cards, then the classmate sleeping in front will not be disturbed.

Physicists, biologists and mathematicians

A mathematician, biologist and physicist sat on the open-air coffee table and looked at the people coming and going in the shop across the street leisurely.

First, they saw two people walk into the shop. After a while, they found three people coming out. Three friends expressed their views on their major:

Physicist: This proves the uncertainty principle.

Biologists: These people reproduce themselves.

Mathematician: If one more person enters this shop now, there will be no one inside.

count

My son is three years old. He already knows how to count from one to ten, and he also knows that five is bigger than one. I also look for opportunities to teach him at any time and ask him which is bigger, the dog or the kitten.

Once, I took a chocolate in my left hand and two chocolates in my right hand and asked him, "Which side is more?" "。

My son didn't answer, so I continued to ask patiently. The son burst into tears and said, "There are few faces!" " "

The application of logic

A student asked Einstein what was the use of logic.

Einstein asked him, "Two people climbed out of the chimney. One had soot on his face and the other was clean. Which one do you think should take a bath? "

"The dirty one, of course." The student said.

"No .. the dirty side sees the other side clean and thinks it won't be dirty. Where will he take a bath? "

Mathematicians' humor

A statistician met a mathematician, and the statistician made fun of the mathematician and said:

Not that if x = y and y = z, then x = z! Then I think if you like a girl, then you will also like the boy that the girl likes! ? "

The mathematician thought for a moment and asked.

Then you put your left hand in a pot of 100 degree boiling water, and your right hand in a pot of 0 degree ice water, and you'll be fine! Because they are only 50 degrees on average! "

polygraph

Dad has a polygraph. He asked his son, "How was your math today?"

The son replied, "90 points." The polygraph rang.

The son changed his mouth and said, "70 points." The polygraph is still ringing.

Dad shouted angrily, "I used to get more than 90 points." At this time, the polygraph fell down without sound.

like

The professor is a kind and humorous old man, and there is a tall and strong PE student in his class. Every time the professor's voice rings in class, the PE students start to sleep until they wake up on time after class.

One day, the sports student was late, and the professor kindly said to him, "Jack, please don't be late in the future, it will affect your normal sleep."

Empirical equation

The physics professor walked across the campus and met the math professor.

The physics professor is conducting an experiment. He summed up an empirical equation, which seems to be consistent with the experimental data. He asked the math professor to look at the equation.

A week later, they met, and the math professor said the equation was invalid. But at that time, the physics professor had predicted the further experimental results with his equation, and the effect was quite good, so he asked the math professor to review the equation again.

Another week later, they met again. The professor of mathematics told the professor of physics that this equation really holds, "but it only applies to the simple case of positive real numbers." "

Knock in a nail

Engineers, physicists and mathematicians received a task at the same time: nailing the wall.

The engineer built a universal nailing machine, that is, a machine that can nail any possible nail into any possible wall.

Physicists have done a series of tests on the strength of hammers, nails and walls, and then developed a revolutionary technology-ultra-low-temperature ultrasonic nailing technology.

Mathematicians extend the problem to N-dimensional space, and consider the problem that a kinked 1 dimensional nail penetrates the N- 1 dimensional super wall. Many basic theorems have been proved ... Of course, the depth of this topic makes the existence of simple solutions far from obvious.

zone

A farmer invited engineers, physicists and mathematicians to enclose the largest area with the least fences.

The engineer fenced a circle and declared that it was the best design.

The physicist stretched the fence into a long straight line. Assuming that the fence is infinitely long, they think it is big enough to surround half the world.

The mathematician gave them a big laugh.

He surrounded himself with several fences and then said, "I'm outside now."

catch fire

Engineers, chemists and mathematicians live in three adjacent rooms of an old inn. At first, the engineer's coffee machine caught fire that night. He woke up smelling the smoke, unplugged the coffee machine, threw it out of the window, and then went to sleep.

After a while, the chemist woke up and smelled smoke. He found that cigarette butts lit the trash can. He said to himself, "How to put out the fire? We should lower the fuel temperature below the ignition point and isolate the combustion products from oxygen. Watering can do both at the same time. " So he dragged the trash can into the bathroom, turned on the tap to put out the fire and went back to sleep.

The mathematician saw all this outside the window, so after a while, when he found his ashes burning the sheets, he was not worried at all. He said, "Hey, the solution exists!" "I went back to sleep.

fire fighting

One day, the mathematician felt that he had had enough of mathematics and ran to the fire brigade to announce that he wanted to be a fireman. The fire chief said, "You look good, but I have to give you a test first."

The fire chief took the mathematician to the backyard alley of the fire brigade. There is a warehouse, a fire hydrant and a hose in the alley. The fire chief asked, "Suppose the warehouse was on fire, what would you do?" The mathematician replied, "I connected the fire hydrant to the water pipe, opened the water pipe and put out the fire."

The fire chief said, "Exactly! Last question: suppose you walk into an alley and the warehouse is not on fire, what would you do? " The mathematician pondered for a long time in doubt and finally replied, "I will set fire to the warehouse." The fire chief shouted, "What? That's terrible! Why did you set fire to the warehouse? " The mathematician replied, "In this way, I will simplify the problem into a problem that I have solved."

The feeling of home

Mathematicians believe that mathematics consists of 50% formula, 50% proof and 50% imagination.

Topologists can't tell coffee cups from bagels.

The head of the statistician will say, "It feels good on average."

equation

Engineers think their equations are very close to reality.

Physicists think that reality is very close to their own equations.

Mathematicians don't care.

fact

Editors of newspapers and periodicals often go to extremes and tell readers irrelevant facts and statistics to show that the reports are true and vivid. A year later, a new workers' republic was founded in Africa. The editor of a famous magazine instructed the reporter to write a report about the luxurious presidential palace. The article arrived and began: "Hundreds of steps lead to a high wall, and inside the wall is the presidential palace." The editor read this sentence and decided not to publish it. He telegraphed the reporter and ordered him to find out the exact number of steps and the height of the fence.

The reporter immediately set about obtaining these important facts. After a long time, the magazine will be published and the editor is impatient. He sent two urgent messages to the reporter, but he didn't get an answer. The editor managed to publish the article as originally written. A week later, the editor finally got a call back from the reporter. It turned out that the unfortunate reporter was not only arrested, but also put in prison. After pleading, he sent a telegram and reported to the editor. He was arrested when he counted to the 884th step leading to the wall of the presidential palace.

cheat

The teacher announced the results:

"Xiaohua 30 minutes, Xiaoming 20 minutes ..."

Piglet: I got an O!

Dog: What should I do? Me too ...

Piglet: We both got the same score in the exam. Will the teacher think we cheated?

Love circle

A young man and a young woman are sitting on the beach. The young man drew a circle on the ground and said, "My love for you, like this circle, will never end."

The young woman also drew a circle on the ground with her finger and said, "My love for you will never begin".

abstract

A friend of my friend drank too much at one time in the restaurant. It's almost an hour before business hours.

The waiter came to remind you that you can leave. At that time, the Great Xia said a very shocking sentence.

He said this: "Don't mess with me, or I'll beat you in the abstract."