On the topic of rabbits, the content is to slaughter rabbits. Beg to make a joke

1. A bear is defecating in the Woods, and a rabbit comes. He asked the rabbit, "Is it shedding its hair?" The rabbit thought for a moment and said, "Don't lose hair!" " The bear took a drag on his cigarette and asked, "Have you lost your hair? The rabbit looked at the bear and said, "Don't lose your hair! "The bear looked at the rabbit suspiciously and asked," Are you sure you don't lose your hair? "The rabbit shouted impatiently," If you don't lose your hair, you won't lose it! ! ! "As soon as the voice fell, the bear grabbed the rabbit and said …" Sorry, I forgot my paper. The giraffe said, "Little Rabbit, I hope you know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat delicious, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "The little white rabbit looked at him blankly." And in summer, cold water slowly flowed through my long neck, which was delicious. What a long neck! White rabbit, can you imagine? " The white rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited? "3. One day, a kangaroo was driving along a country road. Suddenly he saw a white rabbit in the middle of the road. Its ears and body were almost completely lying on the ground, as if listening to something ... So ... the kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously," What are you listening to, white rabbit? " "A big truck passed here half an hour ago ..." "Wow ... amazing! .. how do you know? .. ""Fuck him! My neck and legs are broken like this .. "4. One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave, and a wolf came up and asked," Rabbit, what are you writing? The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper." "The wolf asked," what's the topic? The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how rabbits eat wolves." . "The wolf said with a smile that he didn't believe it. The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave, and the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. Then another fox came over and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?" The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper." "The fox asked," what's the topic? The rabbit replied, "How does the rabbit eat the fox?" "The fox laughed and said he didn't believe it. The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit went out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper. At this time, in the cave, a lion was sitting on a pile of bones, picking his teeth and reading the rabbit's paper: the ability of an animal lies not in its strength, but in who is its boss behind the scenes. One day, the rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss said,"No.. "The little white rabbit is gone. The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?" The boss said, "I told you, no!" " The white rabbit left. On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss is anxious:" How many times have I told you? ! Don't! ! ! If you bother me again, I'll pull out all your teeth with tiger pliers! "The little white rabbit was frightened and ran away. On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have tiger pliers here?" "The boss said,"No.. "The little white rabbit asked," Well, do you have any carrots? ""The boss was really angry, took out the tiger pliers and pulled out all the teeth of the little white rabbit. On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have carrot juice here?" "6. The white rabbit and the big bear squatted under the tree and shit. Bear said to the white rabbit, although you white rabbits are good-looking, you are in trouble! You can tell when it's dirty. That's disgusting! The little white rabbit said, look at what you said! Isn't it? Bear said, yes! Bear said as he grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass and walked away ... 7. The white rabbit and bear walked in the forest and accidentally kicked over a pot. An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes. The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true. The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true. The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again. The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again. The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches! The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turn this bear into a homosexual ... 8. The boss of the first company: Bunny, are you busy at work today? Rabbit: Not busy. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: I'm not busy because I can't work for the company more. What does the company want you to do? * Boss of the second company: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Very busy. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you are disorganized, you will be busy all day. What does the company want you to do? Boss of the third company: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Not bad. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you are irrational, there are "yes" or "no" places. What does the company want you to do? * Boss of Company 4: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Just finished. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you are so inefficient, can't you check it after you finish? What does the company want from you? * Boss of Company Five: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Some of them have finished the inspection, and now they are doing something else. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you are not systematic, won't you do something together? What does the company want from you? Boss of Company 6: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: I have finished all the work and am helping others. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you don't have a plan, won't you plan what to do tomorrow? What does the company want from you? Boss of Qilian: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Today's work is finished, and so is tomorrow's work. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you don't consider the whole, won't you help your colleagues solve problems? What does the company want from you? Eight company bosses: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: I have finished today's work and tomorrow's work, and now I am helping my colleagues. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you are too pushy, your help is likely to cause laziness or stress in others. What does the company want from you? Jiulian boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Wait a minute, I'll think about it before I answer you. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: You are very arrogant. I keep asking you questions. Why does the company want you? Boss of the tenth company: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tu Tu: I ... I ... No, I don't know ... how to answer you. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you don't even know whether you are busy or not, what does the company want you to do? Boss of 11th Company: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Fuck you, I quit ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Boss: Hey! If you have personality, our company won't let you go! 9. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns? "Boss:" Oh, sorry, not that much. " "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left in frustration. The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have one hundred steamed buns? "Boss:" Sorry, I haven't. "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left in frustration again. On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have one hundred steamed buns? "The boss said happily," Yes, yes, we have one hundred steamed buns today! ! "The little white rabbit took out the money:" Great, I'll buy two! ""10. There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest. On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana. The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "giraffe, giraffe, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! " The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit, so she threw the marijuana behind her and ran in the forest with the white rabbit. Later, they met an elephant ready to take cocaine. The white rabbit said to the elephant, "Elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "Elephants look at cocaine and white rabbits, throw cocaine behind them and run in the forest with white rabbits and giraffes. Later, they met a lion who was going to kill a poisonous snake. The white rabbit said to the lion, "lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" "Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! " The lion looked at the syringe and the rabbit, threw the syringe behind him and rushed to beat the rabbit hard. The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "Why did you hit the rabbit?" It is so kind, it cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "The lion said angrily," This bastard rabbit drags me around the forest like an idiot every time he eats ecstasy. "On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river and went home without catching anything. The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home. On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit, if you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will kill you! 12. In order to test the strength of the police in the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests to see who could find them first. Before the first forest appeared, it was the pol.ice of America. They spent a whole half-day meeting to make a battle plan, strictly divide the work, and then sent special forces to quickly enter the forest for a carpet search. As a result, the meeting was delayed and the rabbit ran away. Then it was the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent 100 people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest. The leader shouted with a megaphone: "Rabbit, rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender ..." Half a day passed and nothing happened. Flying Tigers entered the forest to search again, and the mission failed! Finally, there are only four policemen in China. First, they played mahjong all day. At dusk, a man walked into the forest with a baton. Five minutes later, he heard the screams of animals in the forest. Pol.ice of China came out with a smile and a cigarette, dragging a black bear behind him. The bear was dying and said, "Stop playing, I'm a rabbit ..." The little white rabbit left very grievance. The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat." Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger. After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." "On the same day, the tiger found his partner, the wolf." It's wrong of you to do so. It is very difficult for me. " Then he wiped the ash off the table: "Do you think this will work? "You can say, tutu, come and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. Reasonable and powerful. " The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart. The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat." Tutu said, "So, do you want to be fat or thin?" The wolf listened, his heart sank and he was happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B. He added, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tutu asked, "So, do you like plump or slim?" The wolf was silent for 2 seconds and raised his hand to give Tutu two big ear stickers. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat." 14. Three white rabbits picked a mushroom, and the two big ones asked the small ones to get some wild vegetables to eat together. The youngest said I wouldn't go, so you ate my mushrooms. The two big ones said no, and the little rabbit went ~ ~ ~ Half a year passed, and the big one said no. Eat the other big ones first and then wait ~ ~ A year passed, and the two big ones didn't come back. I knew you wanted to eat my mushroom 15. Walking in the forest, an ant suddenly met an elephant. The ant burrowed into the soil and stretched out a leg. The little white rabbit was curious and asked, What are you doing? The ant whispered to it: shh ... don't make any noise, watch me trip. ...