The funniest words

1, the loneliness of one person is actually the fault of two people …

If you want to know what despair is, buy a bunch of lottery tickets.

If I don't beat you, I will turn against you …

4. The place that a person cares more is the place that makes him feel inferior most.

5, if you don't consider the height, I am a handsome boy below the neck!

6. It's hard to be single, and it's even harder to be single for a long time. I felt very happy when I saw a sow yesterday.

7. I am a bird. I can't fly high because the cage is too high!

8. When I was having dinner with my friend, my friend gave me a bullwhip and told me to eat some tonic. I suddenly realized, turned around and said sadly, "I ate too many chickens when I was a child!" " "

9. death. Whether you are a lion or a gazelle, you'd better start running when the sun rises.

10, Zhuge Liang didn't take a single soldier before coming out of the mountain! Why do I need work experience?

1 1, the food in the canteen was terrible, but after eating the food cooked by my wife, I decided to continue eating in the canteen!

12, rich people hold a money field, and those who have no money go home and get some money to hold a money field.

13, boycott chest surgery and don't pollute the last safe milk source!

14. When an awesome person like me wants to find someone to admire, I will look in the mirror.

15, I really don't know if the game is for people or for people.

16, Journey to the West told us that monsters with backgrounds were all taken away, and those without backgrounds were all killed by a stick.

17, I want to kiss all the frogs in order to find the prince.

18, I'm really not handsome! I'm more handsome than a cricket!

19, stand higher and pee farther.

20. Once you learn to break the jar and break the fall, you will find the world suddenly enlightened.

2 1, the clouds in the sky will really deform and become N-type and B-type!

In Africa, when the gazelle wakes up every morning, it knows that it must run faster than the fastest lion, or it will be eaten. When the lion wakes up every morning, he knows that he must catch up with the slowest gazelle, or he will be hungry.

23, the minimum goal of a college student: peasant woman, mountain spring, a little field!

24. It may not be the enemy who shits on your head, or it may be your neighbor upstairs.

25. I was challenged to say, bring it on. I didn't answer, but ran away and knocked him down with Monday morning quarterback.

26, 20 12 disappointed me, because I thought 20 12 would be the end of the world, so I donated all my property to others …

27. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when I stand in front of you, you fall in love with a foreigner.

28. Happiness is a comparative level. You have to have something at the bottom to feel it.

29. Do things when you are awake, read books when you are confused, and sleep when you are angry.

30. I don't want to hit you either Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. If you run in the street like this, you will be easily hit.

3 1, since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on my head anymore.

32. There are two things in this world that can change people. One is time and the other is pain.

When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

35. Youth is like mahjong. You either beat it or touch yourself. How many otaku and rotten women have been counted, and how many institutions have been counted, just to enjoy the moment of being knocked down.

36. Since I came to this world, I have never intended to go back alive …

37. I want to be an angry bird and hit those pigs.

I said, er, when you look at me, can you stand higher and keep looking down at you? My neck will be sour.

39. Take other people's road and leave others with no way out.

40, the wind is rustling and the water is cool, and the strong man does not stop diarrhea!

4 1, money is not everything, sometimes you still need a credit card.

42. The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

I think all bears in the world are like bears.

Sometimes, when waiting in line for meals in the canteen, the greatest comfort is not that there are fewer and fewer people in front, but that there are more and more people waiting behind.

45. I caught a frog and put it in the water to learn' breaststroke' with the frog. I learned it in a few days! I caught another dog and threw it into the water. I learned to' plane the dog' in a few days! I caught another sheep and put it in the water to learn backstroke. A few days later, the sheep died! Suddenly one day when I wanted to learn butterfly stroke, my father was scared away!

Eight years ago, I got into the bad habit of smoking, and a roommate got into the good habit of drinking milk. Now, I am alive and well, and my roommate is dead. Because in China, cigarettes have no tobacco, and milk is poison.

47. I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people. One is beautiful, the other is you.

48. After several decades, we will meet again and send them to the crematorium. They will all be burned to ashes, one for you and one for me. No one knows anyone, and they have to be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

49. Don't think that you are Wu Dalang, just think that Yao Ming was made by two people.

50. Knowing what you can do shows that you are growing; Knowing what you can't do shows that you are maturing.

5 1, I envy my friend having a good friend, and that good friend is me …

52. I am not an ordinary person, so I don't speak Mandarin.

53. China has the largest legal profiteering association, Deyun Society.

54. Fairy Descending tells the story of Yong Dong riding a fairy!

55. We are like two parallel lines that can never intersect, but one day the parallel lines will bend.

56. How far a person can go depends on who he walks with; How good a person is depends on who gives him advice; How successful a person is depends on who he is with.

57. January is a rare month when people no longer care about the boat tickets, because they can't even buy tickets to go home.

When you grow up, marry Tang Yan to be your husband. Play if you can. If you can't play, eat him.

59. Anyone can acquiesce in being copied and imitated by your Excellency, but can you not confuse the viewers with plagiarism?

60. Sincerity is not as good as a red envelope. Feelings are just sexual needs.

6 1, I don't know whether people will go to heaven or hell after death. I'm going to the crematorium anyway!

62. A person is not alone, but when he misses someone.

One day, I dreamed that I had spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty. ...

64. I don't look down on you, but I don't care about you at all.