Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - More than 400 words of valuable composition.
More than 400 words of valuable composition.
Liu Qian Le Tong High School
That day, Fang Shuai and Xiangbo and I went to Wu Xiaogu to eat oranges. After school, several of us took up our schoolbags and rode bicycles.
After driving and pedaling for more than ten minutes, we arrived at Wu Xiao's orange orchard. There are so many oranges in their house that they put ours together.
My eyes are blurred, and my mouth is watering when I look at them.
When we were about to pick it, Wu Xiao said, "You can only pick small ones today, do you hear?" I think, this Wu
Small is so stingy. If you haven't picked it yet, let someone else pick a small one. I won't! I looked at a big orange carefully.
The child was chosen. Fang Shuai saw it, she smiled, followed my example and picked a big one. we
Peel off the orange peel, take out the orange petals and throw them into your mouth. Immediately, the two of us shouted in unison: "
Oh, so sour, so sour! Wu Xiao smiled and said, "Sour, you must have stolen a big orange!" " ! "We only have
All right, admit it. Wu Xiao said, "I will choose a sweet one for you." She looked at it again and again and chose a very beautiful one.
Little orange. Peel it off and give me and Fang Shuai half. We ate and shouted, "Alas,
At this time, we were completely convinced and asked Wu Xiao which orange was sweet. She said
"The oranges are not ripe yet, and the skin is small and shiny and sweet." We told the secret.
Xiang Bo: That way, everyone knows what kind of oranges to pick.
We just picked a few, and the ghost Wu Xiao spoke again: "Don't eat the picked oranges, we'll sing later."
Singing, dancing, telling jokes, performing sketches, etc. One program has three oranges, without exception! "We have to
I did it.
The first program is Wu Xiao singing. She always sings out of tune, which makes us laugh. Second section
Mu performed Xinjiang dance and twisted his neck. We looked funny and learned to twist ourselves.
Come on, but it doesn't look like it. It's my turn I think Wu Xiao is very clever and decided to play a trick on her. (expressing surprise, shock, etc.)
Wu Xiao, please answer me two simple questions. She said, "Good." I asked first, "Wu Xiao, do you have it?"
Not as many as pigs? Wu Xiao said: "Of course I don't eat as much as pigs!" " I asked again, "Do you?"
What if the dog runs fast? Wu Xiao said, "How can I make the dog run fast?" Seeing Wu Xiaojin give me a condom, I
Then, he went on to say, "Just now, everyone listened clearly. Wu Xiao can't beat a pig or hide from a dog. Then who is she?
And then what? She is worse than a pig and a dog! "Make you laugh. Wu Xiao stood up angrily and kicked me out.
It's a long way. I lost a lot. No, forget it.
We laughed and ate a lot of oranges, and our stomachs were full. When we go back,
Wu Xiao also sent us a lot of oranges to take home. We really appreciate it.
We went home. To tell the truth, for a long time, I still miss that sweet orange forest.
Catch eels
Le Tong High School Sheng Haitao
On Sunday, I waited for my brother and children to catch eels at home. After a while, someone outside was shouting "Brother, brother." I
As soon as I heard it, I knew it was my brother Xiao Tong, and immediately walked out of the house with his pocket.
When we came to the edge of the field, we rolled up our sleeves and pants, and then took action. I opened the first grass, which is a good sign.
A big loach. I proudly shouted, "Little boy, come and watch your brother catch loach. Have no skills
Art, can't catch it! Look carefully and learn from your brother. "Small with come over, I will exaggerate.
Hold your hand high and press it on the loach at once. The loach was pressed into the hard mud and could not get out.
I see. Although the loach was caught, I was forced to eat shit. My face and body are covered with mud.
Even so, my mouth was not soft and I said, "How's it going? Is your brother highly skilled? " Xiao Tong smiled to smile:
He said: "It's really high, really high, especially the sentence' dogs eat shit'. How about another one? "
"Foreign" didn't show up, but was ridiculed by him. I was really depressed.
After a while, he found an eel. Learn my accent and say, "Brother, come here. Look, brother, grab the yellow.
Eel, you can't catch it without technology! Come and see clearly and learn from your brother. "See me approach, it's right.
When I reached out, I easily caught the eel in my pocket. He also proudly said: "the proportion of change is more important."
Hold it high! "
Suddenly, I blushed. Being a brother is worse than being a younger brother. It's embarrassing. I secretly made up my mind to let today.
He looked at me. So I turned the grass faster. After lifting a grass, I let out a "wow"
A very fat loach! It's time to show yourself. I called my brother to my side and said, "My brother has it, too."
A gentle hand. "Said carefully hold the loach, return in mouth murmured, way:
"Loach Loach is fast asleep, and you can eat it when I bake it." I picked up this loach.
I was so happy that I was about to put it in my pocket, but it slipped out of my hand and got in again in an instant.
Go to another meadow. I was discouraged, but I immediately became happy and said, "Look down, little boy, and I'll give it to you."
You come to' catch turtles in a jar'. "Say that finish, he gently walked to the grass. When I gently put the grass
When I lifted it, wow, I saw not only the loach, but also a slender tail. Ha, and an eel!
I said excitedly, "Look, little boy, your brother is really a blessing in disguise." I said.
While proudly looking back at Xiao Tong. But he panicked and pointed to the grass and said, "No, it's not ..."
I turned to look, ah, that's not an eel, it's a snake! I suddenly got goose bumps.
, throw a pocket, quickly ran to the field.
People were so scared that the loach and eel they caught were gone. It' s really "losing the wife and folding the soldiers". Not worth it!
My brother and I went home empty-handed.
Catch eels
Jiang Peng Le Tong High School
On Sunday, I was thinking about how to play today. "Brother Peng, you go and catch the eel." Someone is calling me. Oh, the original
Come on, just right. What he said is exactly what I want. It rains every day these days, and there is water in the rice fields, so the straw can't be harvested.
There must be many eels and loaches in the pond. Bring some back for dad to get. This is just a good way to satisfy your appetite. So I promised loudly:
"Come, come, wait a minute."
We came to the venue with bags in our hands, full of energy. I put on my sleeves and trousers and began to turn the grass in the field. open
The first grass, a little loach; Open the second one, no, I turned a lot of grass in succession, only a few little loaches.
. Turn your head and look straight. The loach in your pocket is "fat". I envy and hate, a little.
Trying to rob him. I made up my mind to catch some fat loach and big eel for him to see. Finally caught a fat one.
Loach, I am very happy now. With one, there are two, and my "future" is bright!
I put the fat loach in my pocket and turned over with confidence. There is not a grass, and there is still no grass.
But I continued to turn it over. When I opened another meadow, I was very happy: a big eel, sharp.
Head, long body, very fat, weighing four or five pounds. "Is neat, you're here, you're here, look, ok.
Big eel! "I shouted excitedly. Zheng Qi ran over to have a look and said, "Hey, Brother Peng, good luck! "
What a big eel! "I said proudly," with us people, we can't catch such a big eel. Which one?
Catch it. "I was about to reach for it when Zhengqi said," Be careful, eels will bite before and after the Mid-Autumn Festival. So big
It's hard to bite an eel. "I said," What are you afraid of? Just got bitten by an eel. I never
Give it to the eel to bite. Let it take a bite today and let me see how many teeth it has. "Said as he stretched out his right hand.
Facing the eel, the eel was caught as soon as I caught it. Looking at the eel writhing and struggling in my hand, I stretched proudly.
The second thumb of his left hand dangled in front of his head and said, "Bite me, bite me!" " "There is nothing to see.
Move, simply put your thumb in its mouth. Suddenly, the eel opened its mouth and bit my finger.
"Oh, my god, it hurts me! Zheng Qi, come and help me, hurry up! " I shouted in despair.
Qi Qi first clamped the eel hard, and then broke the eel's mouth with me, with great effort.
It's open. This is a painful experience for me, leaving two lines of deep teeth marks on my finger, which is unbearable. Zhengqida
He said interestingly, "I didn't mean to let it bite." What's wrong with a bite? " ! Who screamed in pain just now? Ah,
By the way, look at how many teeth an eel has! ""go! " I shouted at him. Really, it hurts to watch.
Look, and tease others.
Hey! Today is real. I tried to bite the eel, but it bit me first.
Childhood story
Zhang Qin, Class One, Grade 2005.
At noon one day when I was five years old, I was humming a song with my small schoolbag on my back and skipping all the way home. At first glance,
Wow, so many people! Grandpa, grandma, dad, mom, aunt, uncle, dad and aunt are all here. "Why?
What about so many people? "I was wondering when menstruation called me," Qinqin, come here quickly and let menstruation see you. "She?
Touching my head, I asked, "How old are you?" "Five years old." "Big class or small class?" "Big class." "Really?
Good boy, we entered the big class at the age of five. "Sister looked up and said loudly. Suddenly, she looked down again and said to me
Said, "then can you count how many people we have here?" I proudly said, "I can count clearly." Say that finish, I will drive.
Count: "One, two, three, ... one, two ... three, four, five ... five." Oh, son-in-law
Have you counted them? Adults are really, let people count, and run around, how can they count? "You?
Children, don't move! "I'm nasty and angry. The adults laughed and said, "well, let's not move and let the harp count."
. "I started counting again, counting over and over again. How many people are there? How should I count? I patted it.
Small head, thinking: alas, count your fingers with the method taught by the teacher. "One, two, three, four, five, six,.
"Oh, no, no, grandpa counted it. It should be" one, two, three, four, five. Yes, five people.
. "I turned to my aunt and said," Aunt, aunt, count clearly, five, it's five people! "I'm waiting for my sister.
My aunt didn't praise me. She said, "Is it really five people?" I went back and counted it again,
He said, "Yes, there are five. You see, there is a grandfather, a grandmother, a son-in-law, a you and an aunt.
How much is one, not five? "Said while pulling a finger. Sister asked, pointing to my nose with a smile
"Aren't you human?" Hey, yes, and me! I forgot to count myself It should be six. look
I suddenly realized that the adults burst into laughter. I remember, don't forget to count yourself.
Wow, it smells good! At this time, a thick fragrance came to my face, and I looked at the table. Ah, many delicious dishes.
Ah! I moved a small stool, a cushion and sat on a high stool. After a while, some guests came again.
People, I ignore them, I want to keep my "position". It's time to eat. Father came over and said, "Good girl!"
Son, you eat in the back, come down, and dad will carry you down. "
I came down and thought, "shall I eat in the back? Which one is in the back? Yes, it must be behind our house.
I have to hurry. "I turned and ran to the back.
After a while, I ran home angrily, pulling my dad and saying, "You're lying. I have nothing to eat in the future, only. "
Broken tiles and mud. "The adults laughed, and even grandma, who doesn't like to laugh at ordinary times, smiled.
From ear to ear. After a while, she finally stopped laughing and said, "What are you eating behind the house?"
Dad means to let you wait for a while and eat with mom and them later. "After listening to my words, I feel embarrassed.
Yes Dad, really, make it clear!
Today, it is really interesting to think about what happened that day.
Strange answer
Yang high school
When I was a child, there were many questions: "Why don't people have tails?" "Why is the person's nose not big?
The length of an elephant? ""Why are people's ears not as sharp as rabbits? "... what I can't figure out most is that it is artificial.
Why only walk on two feet? How nice it is to walk on four feet like a dog.
Once, my mother and I were walking on the highway, and a dog ran past us. I asked my mother.
"Mom, mom, dogs walk so fast on four feet! Why do we only use two feet? " Mom said:
"You are still young, you will know when you grow up."
After coming home with this question, I asked my father again, "Dad, Dad, why do dogs walk on four legs and people only use them?"
With two feet? "Dad said," you are still young. You will know when you grow up. "The answer is the same as mom.
Yes I think it's strange that they must have discussed it!
The next day, when I went to school, I saw the head teacher walking past me with a thick book. The question yesterday was
It flashed through my mind that I asked someone. I ran over happily and asked, "Teacher, teacher, why?"
Dogs walk on four feet, while people only use two feet? "Say that finish, staring at the teacher hopefully. Who knows the teacher?
The answer is still: "You are young, you will know when you grow up." God, don't teachers talk to their parents?
Have you measured it? It's impossible.
"Why do dogs walk on four legs and people only walk on two legs?" This problem grew with me.
Now, I have understood "why dogs walk on four legs, while people only walk on two legs". Whose complaint is this?
Where are my complaints? Is it a parent? Is it a teacher? Is this a book? It seems so, but it seems not. is that true
Do you know yourself when you grow up?
It suddenly occurred to me that if a kindergarten child asked me this question, what would I answer? Maybe I still ...
I will say that sentence: "You are still young, you will understand when you grow up."
Thought of here, I laughed myself, this is really a strange answer.
Zhiyueliang
Le Tong middle school suburb
On summer nights, people like to sit in the yard and enjoy the cool.
Looking at the moon in the sky, I remembered what my grandmother said to me, "If a child touches the moon with his finger, his ear will be cut off."
So, is this true? Maybe it's not true. I think so. But this is speculation after all! I really want to know.
Is it true what grandma said?
There are several young people chatting not far away. I heard them talking about the moon, so I paid close attention to their movements.
Let's go I saw a young man pointing to the moon. Pay attention to his ears.
After a while, I found that his ear didn't fall off, which gave me courage. I also want to point to the moon!
But I just raised my hand halfway and put it down again. Because I remembered what grandma said. "The child pointed to the moon's ear.
Flowers will fall ",the young man pointed to the moon, but he is an adult and I am a child!
The stars in the sky blinked as if laughing at my lack of courage. "If you can mention the moon again, you can protect your ears.
Flowers will do. I thought to myself. Suddenly, I thought of a good way to run into the house and put my father on the motorcycle.
Put your helmet on your head. Then, summon up courage, touch the moon with your fingers, then tighten your helmet and close it.
Close your eyes.
After a while, I touched my ear. Hey, I didn't drop it! I was very surprised and ran home to find my father.
Shout: "Dad, my ear didn't drop, my ear didn't drop!" " Dad said, "What ear didn't fall off? ear Why?
Want to give up? "When I told my father what my grandmother said, thought and did, he couldn't help laughing.
Here it comes.
Finally, the father said, "Congratulations to my daughter for discovering a truth. I hope you will always keep exploring.
The spirit of exploration. Go, tell grandma the truth. "
Airport football match
Le Tong High School Zhou Shilong
Today, the sun is not as hot as it was a few days ago. It has quietly hid in a large cloud, and
There is a breeze. All this seems to be specially arranged for us. In such fine weather, we have
I've been waiting for weeks.
After a while, everyone found it. Everyone got on their own "BMW" and set off for the "football field"-the airport.
Come to the "football field" and set up a bicycle as the goal. These two goals are far apart.
After the goal was set, everyone had a rest, drank the water and the game began.
At the beginning, our team gained the upper hand, and the ball was always at the feet of our players, causing many times in the opponent's penalty area.
Dangerous and scored several goals. As for me, as a goalkeeper, standing in front of our goal, I almost caught a cold.
Yes I shouted happily: "hey, brothers, have something wonderful, I'm getting cold!" " "
I don't know if it is stimulated by me or other reasons. The other side's momentum came up, and three passes and two passes rushed at me.
In front of the square goal. I quickly got ready to save the ball. The other team shot, so I rushed and grabbed the ball.
When I was proud, the ball that I didn't hold tightly fell off. The other team made up the shot and the ball flew into our gate.
. I really regret it.
Later, he missed a few goals and was transferred to the position of defender. Play guard, play guard, every time.
When the opposing team rushed over, I tried my best to grab the ball. Grab the ball and drive to the midfield, which has eliminated the danger for our team many times.
I played forward in the second half and scored two goals for our team.
It was not until the plane flew in the evening that we reluctantly left. Although covered in mud, everyone is worried.
I am very happy. I hope there will be such a competition again.
Steal green
Le Tong Middle School Chen Zhong
On the fifteenth day of the first month, my sister and I agreed to steal vegetables and conduct a "big sweep" in other people's vegetable fields. Stealing green is agriculture.
Village custom, this night, stealing food is not afraid of being scolded. It is said that the more times you are scolded, the better your luck will be in the new year.
The better.
The weather is not good tonight. The moon is obscured by thin clouds, and the moonlight is weak. My sister and I are holding one.
Pocket set off triumphantly. On the way, my sister told a joke about stealing youth a few years ago. She and a classmate
When the thief came home, the classmate couldn't run fast, so he told his sister to wait for her. The next day, a neighbor came to chat and said, "
Last night, two thieves stole my food and shouted' Wait for me' when they left. Hearing this, my sister burst into tears.
I smiled. My sister also said that when I stole vegetables last year, there were more vegetables in his family's field than less. I asked
What's the matter, my sister said? Someone stole too much, too much, and lost some vegetables in their field. ...
I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt.
Here comes the vegetable field. There are many vegetables here. I come to spy during the day. The vegetable fields under the dim moonlight are
So mysterious, so lovely.
I said to my sister, "Can we start?" Sister nodded her head. I can't wait to see a bright day.
The garlic sprout ran, jumped out of the ground, touched a garlic sprout with his thumb and pulled it. It seems to be aimed at me on purpose.
Don't move. Show me Stand Like a Pine. When I am angry, I increase my strength. Suddenly, garlic sprouted.
It is broken. I made a garlic break as soon as I fell to the ground. Looking at my own mess, I laughed myself.
Yes After pulling out the garlic seedlings, we stole some other vegetables. After a while, we went home.
When I came back, I asked my second aunt to open the door. The door opened and I saw a group of people playing at my second aunt's house. I was ashamed, so I went straight to my sister.
After hiding, my sister just casually walked into the house. People in the house saw us and said, "Did you steal the green ones?"
There is not a trace of blame in the tone. My heart suddenly let go. Sister put her pocket on the ground, right.
One of them said, "Aunt Wang, do you know what I stole?" The man said, "What did you steal? it must be
Stole my garlic sprout. Look at the dissatisfied expression on your face. Do you think there is no bacon in my field? "suddenly,
There was laughter in the room.
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