Storytelling "Bedside Baby"

This article was published in Story Club in April 2008 and belongs to the category of anecdotes.

Rumors and Anecdotes·Bedside Baby

Author: ?You Peijian?Issue: Next April 2008?

During the Kangxi period of the Qing Dynasty, Fengcheng, Jiangnan A novel entertainment method has appeared in the area: when a guest comes, he only needs to lie down on a large reddish-brown wooden bed, and then a baby less than three feet tall will jump to the head of the bed and use his soft Touching the guest's head with both hands, he told the guest some anecdotes about the world and official affairs. ?

These babies are called bedside babies. Although they are thin in stature and have baby-like fingers, their eyes and faces are full of vicissitudes of life. The people they serve are also very strange. Coolies on the streets, laborers in the fields, and people from all walks of life like to come to this bedside baby massage parlor. After all, its prices are cheap. The boss behind Bedside Baby has great powers, but no one knows who he is, not even the local officials can do anything about it. As a result, the name of this bedside baby became even more famous. ?

This incident alarmed the court. On this day, Kangxi secretly ordered Minister Li Sanjiang to go down to investigate, asking Li Sanjiang to find ways to report the origins of these bedside babies to him, and he could only patrol in secret without alerting local officials. Li Sanjiang had been having trouble sleeping and eating these past few days because someone reported him for corruption. Now that the emperor had entrusted him with an important task, he was naturally happy and thought to himself: As long as I complete the matter that the emperor ordered, then I won't Has it made a great contribution? This shows that the emperor still trusts me, and I must handle this matter well.

So, Li Sanjiang quietly went down to the south of the Yangtze River and came to Fengcheng. After staying in Fengcheng for two days, he dressed as a fortune teller and entered the bedside massage parlor.

After paying the money at the counter, a waiter wearing coarse clothes came over and took Li Sanjiang into a small room, in which there was a large reddish-brown bed that almost occupied the entire room. Following the waiter's instructions, Li Sanjiang lay down on the big bed, waiting for the bedside baby to come up and massage him. After a while, a short baby swayed and jumped onto the bed. Li Sanjiang looked at the man carefully and found that although his exposed parts such as his fingers and soles were extremely tender, his face looked very old. "Could this be the legendary bedside baby?" Li Sanjiang couldn't help but be stunned. ?

The baby on the bed was obviously an experienced massager. His two baby hands gently caressed the temples of Li Sanjiang's head while muttering to himself some folk anecdotes. The singing voice makes people become extremely lazy. Li Sanjiang curiously wanted to talk to the bedside baby, but the bedside baby only talked about anecdotes and even official shady stories, and ignored Li Sanjiang. Li Sanjiang had no choice but to close his eyes and enjoy the tender caress. An hour later, the bedside baby finished massaging Li Sanjiang, quickly jumped out of bed and disappeared from the door. ?

Li Sanjiang got out of bed, stretched out comfortably, and found that the fatigue from running around in the past few days was gone. He secretly marveled, thinking that if he wanted to do what the emperor told him well, he must meet the boss, otherwise he would not be able to figure out the origin of the bedside baby. Li Sanjiang found the waiter just now and explained his purpose to him. The waiter smiled and said to Li Sanjiang: "Sir, our boss does not receive visitors unless you are a special person."?

"Someone special?" Li Sanjiang was stunned for a moment, then he took out a couple of silver coins with a smile and quietly handed it to the waiter. The waiter took the money and said with a smile: "Okay, I'll let you know." After a while, the waiter came back, pointed to a small door in front and said to Li Sanjiang: "Our boss is here I'll wait for you in that room, you can go through that small door." Li Sanjiang followed the waiter's instructions and passed through the small black door and came to a small house against the gable. ?

As soon as he entered the hut, he saw a man in a black coat standing with his back to him. ?

"You must see me?" There was a dull sound in the man's throat.

?

"Yes, I want to know how you got this bedside baby?" Li Sanjiang had seen the scene after all, and he said straight to the point, "Because I also want to open a similar massage parlor. But don’t worry, the location I opened will never be in this place. As long as you tell me the origin of Bedside Baby, I will give you one thousand taels of gold as reward." Li Sanjiang's wishful thinking was very good, as long as the boss said. Once he found out the origin of the baby on the bedside, he could report it to the emperor, and one thousand taels of gold was just a drop in the bucket to him. ?

"Okay then!" The man turned around and smiled coldly at Li Sanjiang, "Then just follow me!" Li Sanjiang followed the man in black into a large cave. In the cave, the lights are bright, and one or two bedside babies pass by from time to time. They hold one or two steamed buns with a smile and happily tell some stories. ?

Just when Li Sanjiang was confused, the man in black spoke: "Sorry, sir, we have a rule here. If someone must know the origin of the bedside baby, they must be able to tell it. Some anecdotes or official shady stories, otherwise, those bedside babies will treat you as an alien and throw you into the pool, which will make you uncomfortable." Li Sanjiang thought to himself: I have been familiar with all kinds of books since I was a child, so it is natural for me to tell you some anecdotes. Having said that, it is a bit embarrassing for me to talk about the shady officialdom, but in order to complete the tasks assigned by the emperor, I also risked my life. ?

So, he nodded to the man in black: "Okay, boss, I can fulfill all your requirements."?

After a while, they Entered a hall in the cave. The hall was brightly lit, and a dozen bedside babies were sitting around a huge stone bed and playing around. The babies on the bedside were all less than three feet tall, but their hands were as smooth as white jade. ?

"Tell these bedside babies an anecdote first. Wait, I'll come back to you and tell you the origins of these bedside babies!" After saying this, the man in black walked out. cave. ?

Li Sanjiang smiled at the bedside babies and told them the strange story of a dwarf looking for a wife. Unexpectedly, after listening to the bedside babies, they all shouted angrily: "You This bad guy is laughing at us as dwarfs! Let me tell you, we are not dwarfs, we are bedside babies!"?

Li Sanjiang quickly put on a smile: "Don't worry, I'll tell you something else. What a joke!" Unexpectedly, the bedside babies didn't agree with him. One of them stared at Li Sanjiang, pointed at a steaming pool behind him and said, "Tell us about your shady story in the officialdom. Otherwise, we will throw you into that pool!"?

Li Sanjiang shook his head quickly: "You have misunderstood, I am not an official, so I don't know the shady affairs of officialdom!"?

"If you're not an official, then why are you here? Everyone, throw him down quickly." The leading bedside baby shouted. The bedside babies all jumped out of bed and surrounded Li Sanjiang. ?

Cold sweat dripped down Li Sanjiang's forehead. He knew that he would not be able to get out if he didn't tell some dirty stories about officialdom. Forget it, these bedside babies are also for people's entertainment, so I might as well make up some random stories for them to listen to. ?

The strange thing is that those bedside babies were very aware of Li Sanjiang's fabrications, and they forced Li Sanjiang to tell him about his corruption. After Li Sanjiang hesitantly told him about the black money he had embezzled from the victims, the bedside babies laughed loudly. They lifted Li Sanjiang hard and threw him into the steaming pool. . ?

Although the water in that pool is hot, it is very comfortable. Li Sanjiang thought the water in this pool was poisonous just now, but now he felt a sense of comfort rushing straight into his seven nerves and six meridians, extremely comfortable. When Li Sanjiang had enough fun and climbed up, he found that the man in black had walked in. The man in black handed Li Sanjiang a cup of ginger soup and said to Li Sanjiang: "Drink a cup of ginger soup first, and I will tell you about the origins of these bedside babies."?

Li Sanjiang took the ginger After drinking the soup, he sat down and waited to hear the man in black tell the story of the bedside baby.

?

When the man in black saw that Li Sanjiang had finished drinking the ginger soup, he smiled and said to Li Sanjiang: "Master Li, I don't need to tell you the origin of the bedside baby!"?

Li Sanjiang was shocked and asked: "Boss, why? How do you know my surname is Li?"?

"Because you are the bedside baby!" The man in black was cold With a smile, he pointed to the pool behind him and said, "What you just soaked in was bone-shrinking water, and what you drank was forgetful water that can cause memory loss. In three days, you will shrink into a three-foot-tall bedside baby, half After an hour, you will forget all your past..."?

After listening to the man in black, Li Sanjiang knelt down in front of the man in black: "Boss, have mercy, boss have mercy, I I came under the orders of the emperor, you can't do this!"?

The man in black laughed and shouted at Li Sanjiang: "Li Sanjiang, you see clearly, I am not the boss. He is the boss!" After saying that, he pointed to a portrait on the stone wall, turned around, and ignored Li Sanjiang. ?

Li Sanjiang tremblingly raised his head and looked at the portrait. As soon as he saw the person in the portrait, he understood everything. Suddenly, he felt his whole body begin to ache, and then he couldn't remember anything. Finally, he screamed and fell to the ground. ?

At this time, the man in black ordered a waiter next to him: "Come on, Xiao Liuzi, hang up this bedside baby for him. He has embezzled people's money. In the next life, let him Serve the people!"?

As for who the person in the portrait is, it no longer matters. However, according to the eunuchs who served Kangxi, some important officials disappeared every year. When officials reported these things to Kangxi, Kangxi always smiled, nodded, and walked into the harem