Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - A joke about dysentery
A joke about dysentery
After three glasses of wine, Deng Xiaoping raised his glass and began to propose a toast to the generals. When it was the turn of a deputy commander of a column, Deng Xiaoping played a little joke on him: "The battle was good, but I ate 500 kilograms more meat."
This is a teasing joke, but the general's face changed greatly, he got up quickly, suddenly opened the wine table, and then left the banquet scene without saying a word.
The sudden change made other generals present nervous. The object of his anger is Deng Xiaoping, but no one dares to do so at ordinary times. Even Chen Geng, who is always joking, dare not be presumptuous in front of Deng Xiaoping.
Just when everyone thought a storm was coming, Deng Xiaoping smiled and said simply, Forget it, let's go on.
At this moment, commander Liu Bocheng who was on the side also came out and said obliquely, "Never mind, I think he will come back to apologize later. Let's drink first! "
Sure enough, it didn't take long for Liu Bocheng's voice to fall, and the angry general came back and went to Deng Xiaoping to apologize. He said, I'm really sorry My brain was slow and I misunderstood the political commissar. Don't take it personally!
Deng Xiaoping certainly won't dispute with him. Seeing that he understood his meaning, he laughed, raised his glass and said, then drink more and let me be myself that day!
In this way, the hanging hearts of the generals were put down.
So, who is this angry general? Dare to lift the table on this occasion? And Deng Xiaoping incredibly still not angry?
The grumpy general was none other than Liu Changyi, the 3rd and 3rd deputy commander of the Central Plains Field Army. He was called the "Four Don't Walk General" in the army and was nicknamed "Fierce Zhang Fei".
Speaking of it, he and the senior generals of the Fourth Army, Xu and Wang Jinshan, are called "the bravest and most irritable three people".
Liu Changyi's nickname "four generals who don't go" still comes from everyone's ridicule of him, because he has a characteristic in fighting, "If you don't eat, you can't sleep well, you can't drink, and you can't see whether the enemy will come or not."
It can be seen that Liu Changyi has a strong personality.
Liu Changyi's misunderstanding of Deng Xiaoping's "eating 500 Jin more meat" originated from a key battle during the Huaihai Campaign, namely, the double-stack panic attack of Huangwei Corps.
As we all know, the Huaihai Campaign was the battle that destroyed the enemy the most, but it was also the battle that caused the PLA the most casualties, because the enemy's weapons and equipment were too powerful, many of them were made in the United States, and their fighting capacity was very strong.
When stevie hoang Corps encountered panic attack, Liu Changyi led the third longitudinal charge ahead and captured stevie hoang alive, but the casualties of the third longitudinal were also the most serious. After the battle, the Third Longitudinal Army was almost wiped out. In order to replenish the soldiers' physical strength, Liu Changyi went to the logistics specially and tried every means to let the logistics send more than 500 kilograms of meat to the soldiers of Sanzong.
This is why Deng Xiaoping and Liu Changyi mentioned this 500 Jin of meat when they were drinking. Deng Xiaoping's original intention is that you try your best to eat 500 Jin more meat, which is also a joke. But Liu Changyi had only one mind, thinking that Deng Xiaoping thought they had eaten more meat. He raised the table and left angrily.
When Liu Changyi went out, he really regretted it. He shouldn't lose his temper. Others explained to him that Deng Xiaoping didn't eat too much meat, but joked and praised them for playing well. Liu Changyi felt that he misunderstood the political commissar, so he hurried back to apologize.
Liu Changyi is like this. He found that he had done something wrong and didn't hide anything. He obviously went to apologize. He is really a real man.
After Stevie Hoang was captured alive, Liu Changyi invited Stevie Hoang to dinner. During the dinner, Huang Wei said to Liu Changyi, "Your department can cross the Yangtze River directly." Liu Changyi asked, "Why is this?" Huang Wei replied: "If you can defeat me, you will certainly defeat the national army in Jiangnan."
So, how did Liu Changyi's fighting skills come from? We only look at his growth history.
19 14, Liu Changyi was born in a poor family in Shi Cun, Ma 'an, Dianming Township, Huang An County, Hubei Province.
There are nine brothers and sisters in Liu Changyi, all of whom depend on their parents to farm for the landlord's family to make a living. Because his family was too poor, Liu Changyi had to drop out of school after studying for three years, during which he worked as a tailor apprentice.
Liu Changyi has been stubborn since he was a child, and he is a man who dares to say and do things, which can be seen from an episode when he first searched for the Red Army.
It was 1929, and Liu Changyi invited a dozen friends from the same village to Macheng to join the Red Army.
There was a little problem when I registered. One of the friends who came with Liu Changyi was called Lalitou, and the other was called Asako. Recruiters don't want these two people because they have a bad image (no wonder recruiters judge people by their appearances, and most of the villains in our later film and television works are not like this).
At this moment, Liu Changyi said: Is pockmarked dysentery not a revolution? Who made this rule? A word choked the recruiter to death, and two friends with bad image joined the Red Army as they wished.
After joining the Red Army, Liu Changyi was famous for his bravery and soon became a platoon leader and company commander from an ordinary soldier.
1On June 22, 934, Sichuan warlord Liu Xiang attacked Wanyuan, where the Red Army was located, with 50 regiments, in an attempt to surround the Red Army. The fighting was extremely fierce.
At this time, he was appointed as the battalion commander of the second battalion of the 36th regiment of the Red Fourth Front Army. In the battle, he led the soldiers to charge ahead and fought to the death with the enemy. In the battle, Liu Changyi was unfortunately seriously injured and was in a coma for several days.
Due to poor medical conditions and insufficient medical supplies at that time, Liu Changyi, who was seriously injured, lost a lot of blood and had to be transfused in time. Because there was no equipment to detect blood type at that time, Liu Changyi was in a coma because he lost the wrong blood type during blood transfusion, and his whole body was swollen and his fever persisted, and he gradually could not feel his breathing and heartbeat.
Because the Red Army lacked medical supplies such as stethoscopes at that time, it failed to discover in time that Liu Changyi was actually in suspended animation.
Seeing no hope, the troops put Liu Changyi in the coffin prepared in advance.
Just as the coffin was about to close, Liu Changyi guard Hu Shaorong remembered the battalion commander's favorite Browning pistol, so he took it out and put it in Liu Changyi's hand.
When the guard touched Liu Changyi's hand, he felt as if his finger had moved. The guard thought it was an illusion, tried again and found that the battalion commander's hand was still moving!
With a shout from the guards, everyone quickly carried Liu Changyi out of the coffin. When the doctor checked, Liu Changyi was still breathing and heartbeat.
In this way, Liu Changyi survived from the coffin. If it weren't for the guards and Browning pistols, Liu Changyi would probably repent here for the rest of his life.
After the founding of New China, Liu Changyi recalled this experience and said: "The terrible devil refused to accept me because I still have unfinished tasks, so let me continue to lead troops to fight!" !
After a narrow escape, Liu Changyi was appointed as the director of the Political Department of the Hong Jiu Army, and later as the head of the 76th Regiment of the 27th Division, and participated in the famous Long March.
After the outbreak of War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression, Liu Changyi served as the reconnaissance chief of the 386th Brigade of the Eighth Route Army 129 Division, the chief of staff of the third detachment of the youth column, the chief of staff of the third column of the young people killed in the Jinsui resistance and the deputy commander and chief of staff of the third division of the Taihang Military Region.
1941may 12, Liu Changyi, then the chief of staff of the third column, learned that a team of seven Japanese trucks had gone south to Changzhi via zihongkou, and he decided to ambush them in two places that night, ready to catch him off guard when the enemy passed by and seize the goods.
As expected, the enemy team swaggered into the ambush ring with seven cars full of supplies.
Under the command of Liu Changyi, the guns immediately went to the enemy, and the unsuspecting enemy was beaten out of the water by a sudden attack. Nearly a hundred people were wiped out by the Eighth Route Army, and seven wagons of materials became the spoils of the Eighth Route Army, and the Eighth Route Army only paid the price of sacrificing one person.
1The ambush in Baizhuang on April 6, 942 was even more severe for our army. Liu Changyi, then deputy commander and chief of staff of the Third Division of Taihang Military Region, directed the ambush.
Early that morning, the third brigade of the enemy's 36th division, Gao Mulian, and an officer inspection team, carrying 15 cars, went north along the Wu (Xiang)-Chongqing (She) highway.
When driving to Baizhuang between Dongshe and Yushe in Shanxi, it was suddenly attacked by the fourth company of the third division of the Taihang Military Region of the Eighth Route Army. The fighting was so fierce that the two sides even fought hand to hand. After more than an hour of fighting, the enemy was defeated, and the Eighth Route Army wiped out more than 200 people with less than 30 officers and captured 6 people.
In this battle, the Eighth Route Army captured many prisoners. Among other weapons and ammunition, one of the trophies is very eye-catching. It was a Japanese imperial mountain gun engraved with Japanese, and it was also the honor equipment for this attack on the Japanese army. If captured by the Eighth Route Army, Japanese officers will be severely punished.
In order to avoid being punished and save his honor, the maintenance president of Gaomu School sent a request letter to Liu Changyi, with very polite wording. As long as Liu Changyi returned the mountain gun to him, any conditions could be agreed.
But how does Liu Can make a deal with the enemy Changyi? He replied decisively: See you on the battlefield. If you win, I'll pay you back. Otherwise, there is no way!
Needless to say, this mountain gun was not only regarded as a treasure by the Japanese army, but also played a huge role in the hands of the Eighth Route Army, because its aim was too accurate, and it wiped out many Japanese troops in the Eighth Route Army.
What reflects Liu Changyi's personality is not only his performance on the battlefield, but also the people he talks about. During his stay in War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression, he was introduced to someone. See before, Liu Changyi first use a telescope to observe indoor women, look not to come out.
1March, 945, Liu Changyi, then the detachment leader of the sixth detachment of the Henan People's Anti-Japanese Army, was caught with leprosy when he led his troops to besiege the enemy of Xizhaobao in Yiyang, and his lower limbs were paralyzed and he was bedridden. Soldiers visited famous doctors for this purpose, and all kinds of Chinese herbal remedies were tried, but nothing improved. Liu Changyi is still paralyzed in bed, unable to move.
Just when there was no way to seek medical treatment, Li, a jia county native who was practicing medicine in Yuxian, learned of his illness and volunteered to treat him.
But because the guard didn't know his identity, he was kept out of the door for treatment for two days in a row.
On the third day, Li went to practice medicine again, but was stopped by the guards. Just then, Liu Changyi wanted to pee, heard shouts at the door and asked what had happened. When the guards saw Liu Changyi asking questions, they reported the situation truthfully.
Hearing that someone was coming to save him, he asked Li Jinlai to treat himself.
At that time, Li was 47 years old. He studied medicine since childhood and is good at acupuncture. After going in, Li immediately gave acupuncture. After more than an hour of treatment, Li's consciousness of lower limbs gradually recovered, which made him very happy and praised Li's ability to rejuvenate.
After nearly 10 days of acupuncture treatment and medicated wine treatment, Liu Changyi, who had been unable to move for a long time, actually recovered completely.
After the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, when Liu Changyi left western Henan, he gave Li a Japanese knife, a painting and a military blanket.
1in the summer of 946, the national army sent 300,000 troops in an attempt to encircle the Central Plains field army.
When Liu Changyi, then the deputy commander of the first column of the Central Plains Military Region, was surveying the battlefield, his chin was hit by enemy shrapnel and all his teeth were knocked out.
When Liu Changyi was rescued, the wound had festered, and he had to be operated on immediately, otherwise his life would be in danger. Bethune's student Pan Shizhen decided to operate on him at once.
However, because Liu Changyi's wound is located in a dangerous area and lacks anesthetic, the surgical plan is difficult to determine at the moment.
While everyone was hesitating, the guard in Liu Changyi handed the doctor a piece of paper with three words written by Liu Changyi: Cut boldly!
During the whole operation, Liu Changyi just kept silent.
The operation went smoothly, not only the shrapnel left by this injury, but also most shrapnel left in the body in previous times. However, due to inappropriate instruments, some tiny shrapnel can't be taken out, and Liu Changyi has a high fever and is unconscious, and may die at any time.
Liu Changyi was informed by Zhou Enlai, and he was suggested to be sent to Beijing by plane for treatment. But Liu Changyi strongly disagreed, so Zhou Enlai arranged for people to buy medicines and surgical instruments from Wuhan, or asked Pan Shiyi to be the chief surgeon.
After three operations, Liu Changyi's small shrapnel was removed, and Liu Changyi survived, once again.
And the origin of Liu Changyi's "four don't walk" is also very interesting.
/kloc-in the spring of 0/947, as soon as the heavy snow stopped, Liu Changyi led his troops to Balichuan in Lianghekou to rest and start cooking.
Liu Changyi asked, is the meal ready? Cooked! Then leave after dinner!
While everyone was eating, they received a report that the enemy was approaching. Liu Changyi asked again, is everyone full? I'm not full yet! "Don't eat or leave!"
In a short time, he received the report, and other discoveries also found the enemy, but Liu Changyi remained unmoved and continued to serve bowls for dinner. Then ask if everyone is full? I'm out of here!
Liu Changyi is not idle, but bold and cautious. He knows the enemy's movements like the back of his hand and can take his time.
Such a fighter with a strong personality, Deng Xiaoping is too familiar with him, and it is too late to care about him. Of course, it is even more impossible to cling to him because of a small matter.
After the Huaihai Campaign, the Central Plains Field Army sent a notice by mistake, named Liu Changyi to condone two cadres to ride without tickets, and beat and scold the conductor.
Liu Changyi, who was in Kaifeng for illness at that time, heard about it, regardless of his own injury, and immediately ran to the headquarters, ready to find someone to confront him, because such a thing had a great negative impact on the troops, and Liu Changyi had to make it clear.
The result is really a mistake. It was not until the headquarters cancelled the notice that Liu Changyi came back angrily.
After the founding of New China, Liu Changyi successively served as commander of North Sea Fleet, deputy commander of Nanjing Military Region and deputy commander of Guangzhou Military Region, and was awarded the rank of Lieutenant General in 55 years.
It is worth mentioning that 1979, at the age of 65, he was semi-retired and was allowed to come back as his deputy to jointly command the operation.
Xu said that Liu Changyi was a hero, and I was relieved to have him as the deputy commander.
Sure enough, in the counterattack in self-defense, Liu Changyi commanded troops to show the prestige of our army and made extraordinary contributions to maintaining peace in southern Xinjiang.
1 999165438+1October1,General Liu Changyi died in Guangzhou at the age of 86.
Pay tribute to the people's hero General Liu Changyi!
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