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The story of son preference?
This year's hit TV series "Everything is Fine" shows the harm of the traditional thought of "son preference" incisively and vividly. Many viewers found "Home of Origin" incredible after watching it. In fact, although parents are generally open-minded, the decadent concept of "son preference" has not been completely eradicated, especially in rural areas.
Is it better to have a boy or a girl? This realistic story tells you that when people are old and need children to take care of them, they will have the most say if they have personal experience.
0 1
"Mingyu, there is an old woman in the village. She has been sitting on the roadside for a long time. She looks like your mother's family. Go and have a look. " On this day, the neighbor sent a message to Mingyu.
"Why is my mother? Didn't she go to her brother's house in the city to enjoy life! " Mingyu said to her husband.
"Still go and have a look. You look like your mother. Maybe it's her. " The husband replied.
The couple put down their work and rushed to the yellow chestnut tree at the head of the village. Sitting on the stone pier is Yu Ming Niang.
02
Mingyu and her brother Mingcheng are twins. In the early years, the family was poor, so it was difficult for parents to send their two children to school. After the two brothers and sisters were admitted to high school at the same time, Yu Ming Niang and Yu Ming's father discussed: "No matter how promising a girl is, she will always be a family member. There are really no conditions at home to support two high school students now. It's better to ask Mingyu not to study, not to mention reducing the burden on her family, but also to ask her to go out to work to earn money and help give Ming Cheng up. "
Mingyu's father sighed helplessly and said, "This is the only way."
Mingyu heard that her parents no longer let her go to school. She lay in Lacrimosa's bed for two days and two nights without touching a grain of rice. Finally, Ming Cheng begged his parents to let his sister not go to school. He is an energetic man and can earn more money by working.
Mingyu couldn't bear to let her brother drop out of school, and finally resigned. I have been a farmer at home with my parents for two years. After 16 years old, a group of girls from my village and I went to work in the coastal areas.
Mingcheng was able to finish her studies successfully, thanks to her sister's great help. After graduating from college, Ming Cheng was admitted to a unit in the county and took up an iron rice bowl. Later, I bought a house in the city and married a daughter-in-law. Life is very interesting.
03
That year, Mingcheng's father passed away. After taking care of his father's affairs, Ming Cheng said to his daughter-in-law, "You can't leave your mother at home. The villagers will laugh at us." The daughter-in-law said, "Whatever." Mingcheng decided to take his mother to the city. Before I left, my neighbors came to see me off and praised me for being a lucky mother. I will eat, drink and enjoy endless happiness in the city in the future!
Ming Chengniang didn't live with her son and daughter-in-law for a few days, and the problem came out. She doesn't know how to use home appliances. She can't remember how many times her son taught her, and she will collapse from time to time. Daughter-in-law thinks she has bad living habits, speaks loudly, doesn't pay attention to hygiene, and dotes on children too much. In short, she is useless. The couple quarreled many times about it.
Finally, one day, Ming Cheng asked his mother with a guilty face, "Mom, why don't you go to Mingyu's house for a while?" Your daughter-in-law's temper, I'm afraid you will be unhappy living with us. "Mom said," If you didn't mention me, I would have wanted to tell you. I'm uncomfortable here, which also affects your relationship. "I go home and worry about others gossiping about you. I'd better go to Mingyu's house. "
That night, Ming Cheng helped Niang pack and salute, and was put on the bus to Mingyu's house the next day.
04
Yu Ming Niang got off at Mingyu's village. Mindful of Mingyu's refusal to go to school, my daughter has been worried for many years, and now she has come to defect, fearing that her daughter will not like her. So, I hesitated at the village entrance. Actually, I was hoping that someone would send a message to Mingyu to let my daughter and son-in-law come out to meet me.
When Mingyu and her husband found her, they saw her carrying a big bag of daily necessities and asked, "Mom, are you going to stay here for a few days or for a long time?" Mother said, "that depends on how long you let me stay." I'm not used to living in your brother's house. I never sleep well at night. "
Mingyu asked, "Why can't my sister-in-law get along with you?"
The husband immediately interrupted her: "What are you talking about! Don't leave when your mother comes. This will be your home in the future. "
After Niang entered the room and sat down, Mingyu's face was always ugly. Fortunately, the son-in-law is filial, so she puts good things aside, spreads clean bedding, and tells her to settle down with peace of mind, regardless of anything, just take care of herself.
After dinner, Mingyu washes dishes in the kitchen. The mother said to her son-in-law, "Mingyu, a child, was angry with me at the beginning of her study."
The son-in-law told her, "She resigned long ago. She was angry with her brother and sister-in-law and said how she could let you go. Mom, don't worry. Mingyu really loves you. She also asked me to buy an air conditioner and install it in your room tomorrow, for fear of heating you. No one in our village has installed air conditioning at home! "
After hearing this, my mother's eyes turned red and said, "What air conditioner should I install? As long as you don't hate this mother, I will feel at ease! "
After reading this story, do students think it is better to have a boy or a girl? What criteria are used to judge this kind of goodness? Everyone is welcome to express their opinions.
▂▄▅▆▇█ Wonderful answer █▇▆▅▄▂
First of all, thank you very much for answering this question here. Let me take you into this question. Now let's discuss it together.
Parents are the children's first mentors, and they come from a noble family, which directly determines the children's future life. Children see everything their parents say and do, and no matter what their parents do, they will accompany their parents for life.
But these years, there are too many bad parents. Many parents get married early and are not mature, let alone educate their children.
For example, some parents are unsuccessful, but they want to put these dreams on their children and let them help them complete them. So, trap the child's hands and feet and take away the child's dreams.
Some parents are not good at disciplining their children because their children are young, and their children have to make a living. Therefore, regardless of the child, let the child "grow wildly", and if he makes a mistake, he will beat and scold, but he never thinks about whether he has taught him right or wrong.
I saw a topic on the Internet, "What harm did your parents bring you when you were growing up?" I saw many girls in it, because parents' preference for sons brought them a lot of harm.
Let me talk to you today. How terrible is it to prefer sons to daughters? I hope that when we become parents in the future, we will not repeat the mistakes of our predecessors. Because the idea of son preference is really poisonous!
Let everyone feel first, what are the manifestations of son preference:
Keep squeezing, keep asking
There have been endless housework since childhood.
When you grow up, you should make money to subsidize your family.
Today, I want to share with you an example of a friend of mine. Her name is Kobayashi, and she is a girl who came to the city from the countryside to work hard.
She has a younger brother. Since his birth, the whole family has been around him, especially grandma and mom, who take care of him in every possible way.
Because parents are serious about Kobayashi, Kobayashi will get married sooner or later and become someone else's child. And her younger brother can take care of them both and open a branch at home.
Therefore, Xiao Lin and his brother have very unequal status at home. Her brother can beat and scold Xiao Lin at will, and Xiao Lin has to undertake all the housework. Coupled with the fact that their family is not rich, Xiaolin's parents are unwilling to provide her with education after finishing junior high school.
After she stopped studying, she took on more housework and went to the factory to earn money to support her family. But more money was spent by her brother on reading, buying toys and eating snacks.
However, Xiao Lin is a very independent and intelligent woman. Although she can't go to junior high school, she often reads books in her spare time to make her spiritual world stronger. And she will never give up, complain or obey her parents' arrangement.
She gave part of the money she earned from her part-time job to her parents and kept part of it for herself. After saving thousands of dollars, she secretly reported to the night school in the town without telling her parents and continued her study.
With the growth of age, Kobayashi finished night school, hoping to go to the wider world outside. She immediately asked her parents to work in a big city.
But her parents didn't want to, thinking that she didn't have to go far away to work, and she earned almost the same money anyway. Besides, if she leaves, no one at home will do the work.
Such parents can't shelter their children from the wind and rain, but they will also create storms for their children. After failing to negotiate with his parents, Kobayashi began to try his best to work in big cities.
She called her aunt who works in a big city and asked her to tell her parents that she would follow her to the big city to hone. Moreover, this aunt loves Kobayashi since she was a child and thinks she is very good. So, after talking to Kobayashi's parents several times, Kobayashi's parents finally wanted Kobayashi to go out to the big city. However, I asked my aunt to pay Xiaolin a salary every month, call them back and leave a little for Xiaolin to live.
In this way, Xiaolin embarked on the road of working in a big city. In the future, there will be no background, no support from parents, all the backing will be myself, and all the belongings will be suitcases.
Xiao Lin worked hard after he went to a big city. She is beautiful and speaks sweet words. It quickly won everyone's love, and people around it took care of Xiao Lin.
Hard-working people are not too unlucky. After working in a big city for several years, they finally met their husband, Xiao Chen. After my brother finished college, Kobayashi finally didn't have to send all his salary home.
After dating Xiao Chen for several years, Xiao Lin thought that a happy life was about to begin. It's time they talked about marriage. So Xiao Chen formally proposed to Kobayashi, and Kobayashi was very happy and told his parents about it.
But Xiaolin's parents refused. Xiaolin's mother told Xiaolin that if she wanted to get married, she would let the man take out 50 Wan Caijin. Otherwise, don't marry her daughter.
Xiao Lin was puzzled and asked her mother why she wanted so many prizes.
Kobayashi's mother said to Kobayashi, "Your brother is also planning to get married, but the woman asked your brother to have a house in the city. But you know the situation in our family, where can we afford it? "
Xiaolin said to her mother, "Chen Xiao's family is ok, but he can't afford 500 thousand at all, not to mention that we are still renting a house and dare not want to buy a house." Xiao Chen can give 65438+ ten thousand at most, and I can't do more. If you promise, I will help my brother if he needs anything in the future. If you don't promise, there will be nothing, and I will still get married. "
Kobayashi's mother was frightened by Kobayashi's tough attitude. Xiao Lin seems to be talking to her with this attitude for the first time in so many years.
Because of this, Kobayashi's parents finally had to compromise. Xiao Lin is also very sad. For a long time, it seems that her parents just regarded her as a cash cow and never loved her at all. Even her marriage needs money.
In fact, Kobayashi's situation is not a case. In today's society, there are many girls like Xiaolin. They are infinitely deprived by their families just because they are girls and are not respected.
Therefore, if you are also in a family that values boys over girls, I hope you can learn to recognize your parents, protect yourself and bravely fight for your rights.
Finally, I want to say to those parents who prefer boys to girls: every parent was once a child and every mother was once a daughter. Don't impose what you don't want to experience on your child.
The answers to this question shared above are all personal opinions and suggestions. I hope the answer to this question I shared can help everyone.
Meanwhile, I hope you like my sharing. If you have a better answer to this question, please share your comments and discuss this topic with me.
Finally, here I am. I wish you all a happy life, good health, a prosperous family and everything, a big fortune every year and a prosperous business. Thank you!
Thank you for your invitation. There are many stories about son preference. I'll send you the true story I've been shooting for more than ten years. Please give your opinion.
These pleasant scenery can be seen everywhere in the depths of the mountains in April. Bright green branches and leaves protrude from the treetops, pink pears dot the long mountain roads, and terraces are coiled up layer by layer. Eyes full of green and fresh air, these beautiful scenery are amazing and appreciated by outsiders, but for the native mountain people, they have no time to take care of the beautiful scenery around them because they are more concerned about this year's harvest.
Today, my colleague is an old branch secretary in the village. After a long walk on the mountain road, the old branch secretary in the village pointed to the house in front of him, as if it had just been built, and told me that this one in the village was difficult.
Under the leadership of the old branch secretary in the village, I met the girl who was working hard in the field. The old branch secretary in the village told me that it is busy farming and there will be a lot of land cultivated. Seeing the little girl in front of me, I asked the old branch secretary why she didn't look old, why didn't she study and go to work in the fields? The old branch secretary in the village said with some regret that it was not because the family was poor and there was no money for the baby to go to school.
Seeing the girl bent all the time, she hoed the ground with great difficulty. I went up to her and asked her name. The girl whispered to me that her name was Xiaohua. She also pointed to the middle-aged man next to me who was sweating and hoeing the ground and told me that he was her father. Seeing the busy little flowers, I asked the father who was also working hard on the other side, why not let his children go to school? The father waving a hoe replied, "well, there is no money for girls to go to school at home." Besides, it's a girl anyway, and it's someone else's sooner or later. "
Hearing Xiaohua's father's answer, I could only stand by and say nothing. The old branch secretary of the accompanying village said that the family was poor and there was no labor force to work in the fields. I was chatting with the old branch secretary in the village when I suddenly heard Xiaohua's father calling her to learn to plow cattle. Hearing her father's cry, she hurried to see his father set up a cow.
"Watch more in the future. Put the cow cover here first, and then put a rope around your neck, so that the cow cover won't come off easily ... "Xiaohua standing by listened carefully to her father's explanation.
Perhaps because of our existence, Xiaohua stepped aside and continued to pick up the hoe in her hand. Seeing that her daughter is going to hoe the ground again, Xiaohua's father muttered and rearranged the cow's lasso. After a busy time, Xiaohua's father began to farm. Looking at Xiaohua who has been blushing with a hoe, I asked her if she had learned to use Niu Gengdi. She shook her head gently.
Watching dad plow back and forth, Xiaohua, who bowed her head and hoed the ground, told me in a low voice that she didn't want to be like dad.
"The child's mother is disabled for life. I used to work alone in our family. Now it feels much better to have my daughter to help me with my work. " While talking loudly, I was busy bossing Dad Niu.
An hour later, Xiaohua's father finished plowing the ground. Xiaohua helped dad tear down the cowshed, tied up the cows, and then went home to have lunch with dad. Walking on the road, Xiaohua told me that I had not had time to have breakfast.
As I approached the door, I saw Xiaohua's mother shaking her body and walking hard. Looking at Xiaohua's disabled mother, I asked Xiaohua how old her mother was this year. She thought for a long time and then smiled and said that she really didn't remember. "We don't remember her name, except that she has been married to our village for more than ten years, and a female doll at home seems to be a teenager this year." The old branch secretary in the village said. The rural woman in front of me looked at us blankly.
Because Xiaohua's mother is an unstable person, and the mountain road is steep and uneven, she fell down several times along the way and struggled to get up again every time she fell down. The old branch secretary also added to me that this housewife was disabled since she was a child, and the disability was congenital. When I asked the name of the lady in front of me, the old village branch secretary said with a smile that he couldn't remember her name either.
The light in Xiaohua kitchen is very dim. With the help of the flash on the camera, I can see the decoration of the kitchen roughly. Xiaohua pointed to the mess in the pot and told me that it was breakfast made by her mother in the morning. Because she is busy plowing the fields below, she can still come back to eat until now.
She bought this black and white TV set when she was in primary school. Because only a few sets can be received in the mountainous area, her father spent more than 300 yuan on a satellite receiver at the end of last year. Xiaohua's father didn't rush to eat first, but lit a cigarette. Then he said to me, "Because the child's mother is a disabled woman, I didn't spend any money when I married the child's mother. If the mother had asked me for money, I would never have married her. It is because there is no money that I got married so late. "
In order to know more about Xiaohua's family, I asked her to write down the basic situation of her family with a pen. Because there was no writing desk at home, Xiaohua squatted down beside a narrow bench and began to write. "I haven't written for a year. I haven't written since I came back to help my father after reading the first grade. I feel that I can't write many Chinese characters. "
Through chatting with Xiaohua's father, I learned that Xiaohua's mother can't work in the fields because of her right foot and right hand, so she can only help her family with some housework with her disabled body.
Seeing Xiaohua's father finished eating, I asked him why he didn't let his daughter go to school first and then build a house. Xiaohua's father said that his old house had collapsed before it was built, and now the house is built with 5000 yuan from the government. Without this house, their family doesn't even have a place to live. "It's not that I don't want Eva to study, but I really don't want her to study. Now Eva's mother is ill all the year round, and I don't even have the ability to see her. For so many years, I haven't bought clothes for Eva and her mother, all because I have no ability. "
I know a junior high school classmate, a girl, who was the third in her family when she was a child. The first two were girls, and when she arrived, she was left on the side of the road. One day, no one took her away, and the child's grandmother (because the child's mother recruited a door-to-door son-in-law, which means grandmother) couldn't stand it, so she was taken away, and news kept coming out that she wanted to find someone to adopt her. A childless couple who had been married for many years took it away, and she asked the couple for more than 300 yuan. In the mid-1990s, there were more than 300 small villages in a deep forest, which was followed by the growth of ordinary people. Compared with adoptive parents, although she has two younger brothers behind her, she is still kind to her, because in the southwest countryside, a child who has never seen the world has basically made no progress, including the importance of reading, so his grades have always been average. After graduating from junior high school, because there are two younger brothers at home who go to school and a sick grandmother, two people support six people and understand the pressure of their parents. Later, she dropped out of school and went to work in Guangdong. Because she is underage, she is not allowed to become a formal employee of the factory. She can only be a temporary worker. 1,500 yuan a month, including food and shelter, and 8,600 yuan a year. The white face of the outside world includes all kinds of setbacks. She came back from technical secondary school, taught herself to a junior college, went to Shanghai for an internship, and has been doing easy work such as sales. But it's not manual labor, and it's not particularly difficult for her petite figure. In short, she still has some advantages in life with her sisters, classmates and friends who dropped out of junior high school. Occasionally, during the Spring Festival, she will associate with her parents. I usually don't like my biological parents, but I often associate with my brothers and sisters. This kind of life is also the best way at present
In the past, son preference was common in rural areas. My grandfather used to think the same thing. Because my mother gave birth to three girls in a row, my grandfather hated my mother very much, but they were all unhappy, even though my mother was very kind to my grandfather. My mother just gave birth to my second sister, and when my father went out to pick up the goods, grandpa scolded my mother, took my little sister away and left her on the side of the road for adoption. Later, when my father came back and learned about it, he quickly took my sister back. Fortunately, my sister was not picked up, and my father and grandfather had a big fight. He said that both boys and girls are his children, and he doesn't need my grandfather to raise them, so he told my grandfather to leave it alone. I've always been grateful. Father loves our sisters very much and provides us with education. He is very liberal.
I remember when I was a child, I went to menstruation's house for the summer vacation. My aunt has two grandchildren and a granddaughter. When she saw us leave, she fried pumpkin seeds for us to eat. First, my aunt gave them to her two grandchildren, and then gave some to my sister and me. She ate the rest by herself and didn't give it to her granddaughter at all. She will never forget her little granddaughter's eyes. . . It was the 1970s, and there was nothing to eat.
Nowadays, son preference is generally not used in eating and drinking as a child, mainly because girls feel completely like outsiders after marriage, and cities are slightly better than rural areas, and developed areas are not so serious. Women are mainly weak, need to take care of their children's family work and give consideration to difficulties, so they need the help of their relatives. Without help, they can't help but affect their work and naturally become vulnerable groups.
When I was at school, I didn't study very well. I didn't want to go to school when I was in the second grade, because I was particularly envious when I saw that all my classmates in the same village went out to work and came back wearing new clothes and shoes. I don't want to study, but want to go out to work, so I just 14, 15. I don't want to go to school with my parents all day, but my father doesn't agree. He said that even if I didn't study well. Take an examination of a technical secondary school or a junior college. I don't want to study by myself, but because I am a girl, I have to go to school. My father graduated from high school and knows the importance of learning. He said that only by studying hard can rural people have the capital and opportunities to get out of the countryside. They are so young, where to work, and they will never find a good job in the future. I was beaten and scolded for studying. Fortunately, I continue to study, so I stand here.
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