A humorous joke with many witty remarks.

1. Don't envy others, think about what others don't have and what you have, such as ugliness.

Every time I see delicious food, I will say to myself: I can't eat it, I will die if I eat it! But it turns out that I am really a hero who is not afraid of death!

A Lamborghini passed by me and splashed me with water. I was very angry, so I secretly vowed that I would be fine if I didn't get angry in the future.

The most perfect play I have ever played is pretending to understand in class.

Someone left your number to call you. I'm different. I didn't answer.

Listen to me, when looking for a partner, don't just look at other people's looks, but also look at your own.

After the English listening test, I understood a truth: some words are only for people who understand.

8. An impulsive girl like me should give me a good beating to calm me down.

The robber forced the boss with a pistol: "Listen, take out all the money!" " The boss said, "unfortunately, the robber who came last night took all the money." "Robber:" You loser, why don't you close the door? "

10. As the saying goes, my chin is so beautiful, it's not surprising that I have two.

Be nice to your boyfriend. After all, his eyes are the best in the world.

Me: "I want a dragon." Santa Claus: "Can you be realistic?" Me: "I want to be alone." Santa Claus: "What color dragon do you want?"

Thirteen. If you were hit by a car and flew 10 meters away, what would you say when you got up? I will go first: next.

Fourteen. A tough woman like you, if a boy suddenly treats you well, there is only one reason: he respects you as a man.

15. The female colleague sitting opposite me got pregnant and resigned. I asked the leader, "How many months has she been?" The leader said, "It's only been more than three months." I was surprised: "As for resigning so early?" The leader is also outspoken: "She said she was afraid that if she looked at you every day, the child would be ugly when born."

16. The road to success is always under construction.

17. Women must be kind to themselves. Once you are exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your baby!

18. Go shopping with my girlfriend and meet her ex-boyfriend. She is handsome and well dressed. I teased my girlfriend: "He is so handsome, why did you choose to be with me?" The girlfriend smiled and said, "Disgusting him!"

Nineteen. "Did anyone put me in a group alone?" "Yes, I blacklisted you."

20. Every time I swear to lose weight, I just say it out loud to scare the whole body.

Twenty one. What if I don't want to wash clothes? Just bring a wife. If the daughter-in-law is virtuous, she will wash your clothes. If your daughter-in-law is tough, you should learn to wash clothes.

22. Don't study hard at ordinary times. Even if you copy the exam, you dare not copy high scores!

23. Why do good-looking girls have money to spend? The great god replied: because the beautiful girl saved retouching. Time is money!

24. When in love, couples often lament what virtue they have accumulated in their previous lives; After marriage, couples often think about what crimes they committed in their previous lives.