Which issue is Stephen Chow's eloquence joke?

007: Flying is the flying of Xiao Li's flying knife; The knife is Xiao Li's-knife!

008: In order to find witnesses, we visited the dog of my cousin's child in the aunt's house next door. ...

Shaolin soccer: Ng Man Tat: Lame. Yes, I am. So what? Are you lame?

King of comedy: Piao Piao: I hate people's mouths broken. Qiu Tian: I don't want to have a broken mouth. Piaopiao: Then why don't you wear more lipstick? Qiu Tian: Then put it on. .....

A Chinese Odyssey: Mrs Niu (right): If I were you and my husband married a little wife, I might as well die. Niu Wangmo: Really (surprise). Mrs Niu: But I'll vote for you first.

King of comedy-Qiu Tian: Uncle Qi, there will be a thunderstorm in the community theater tomorrow night. Did you remember your lines? Seventh Uncle: I recited it. I even wrote a song. When the host saw the maid, he sang: You are beautiful, you are beautiful. The servant girl saw the master sing, you are so handsome, you are so handsome. Qiu Tian: Oh, that's all right. .....

Gourmet-

Referee: What a folding stool! The secret of folding stool is that it can be hidden in the house and easily obtained, and you can sit on it and hide the murder. Even if you are caught by the police, you can't sue. It is really the first of the seven weapons!

Bajie: As far as wisdom and martial arts are concerned, I have always been a little higher than him, but now I have a Zixiaxian.

I'm afraid he is a little taller than me, son.

Friar Sand: I'm here!

Bajie: Because of you, he is a little taller than me!

Reply to Daquan:

"Somebody, help."

"Like a flower, it's really you"

A hundred times! A hundred times!

The pig's head was cut in half.

This pig head is not for sale.

Although you are a butcher ..., whoring has to pay a price, pay a price. ^_^

It's hard to explain to you with your wisdom ~

& lt's a Chinese Odyssey >>

The Tang Priest was tied to a post and fought with people under the stage. Suddenly it was cloudy, and Tang prompted to shout: It's raining, put away your clothes.

What? Oh, do you want it? Say it if you want, or I'll give it to you if you don't. Of course I won't give it to you. You can't ask me not to give it to you, but you don't want me to give it to you. Be reasonable. ....

I raise you ~ ~

cockroach

Wenxi, Call Me Big Wenxi, All right Wenxi

Polo. Polo. Damn it, Poirot, Polomi.

Husband, wife, husband and wife

Hey! There is a restaurant!

"What's your mother's name?"

Being an official sesame seed is definitely a classic! !

Bottom line: open the door and let the dog go!

Haha, laughing at me all day.

My admiration for you is as boundless as the river and as uncontrollable as the Yellow River.

-Classic lines in Duke of Lushan.

PS: I laughed when I saw "One Hundred Times" written upstairs 10 minutes.

hahahaha

My family lives in the west of the city gate.

There is a house and a field at home. . . . .

I forgot what film it was. The whole movie was boring. Finally, I practiced my magic inadvertently. I am charged in the water, and Zhou Xingxing's "Tianma Meteor Boxing" makes me happy.

Remember what Ng Man Tat said when he went in and out of water curtain cave: Dear, come out and see God! "

Tianma Meteor Boxing belongs to the new Jingwumen, and the last move, Wanfo Chaozong, is a classic.

The parrot's sentence "stinks, stinks" in "Brothers Meet Ghosts" is also very funny.

Many people say that Stephen Chow's movies are vulgar, but I prefer Stephen Chow to those things that are pretentious, serious and moaning. I just like low tastes. Let the "gentlemen" go.

Lines?

Of course, it is the trademark "hahaha."

Wa has ascended to heaven again!

Why do you want to say it again?

Every sentence in the big talk is a classic.

How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents still alive? To say a word, I just want to make one more friend before I die.

Gourmet:

"Why, why do I cry? ……"

"It's onions, I added onions!"

Of course, it should be the most distinctive:

Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~ Hi ~

Haha, you are the first eunuch to grow a beard and make such a breakthrough.

Since I came to China and met the lovely Chou-heung, my mood is very different now, very different ~ ~ ~!

People are born of people, and demons are born of people. If the devil has a kind heart, it is a shemale.

It thundered and rained. Take your clothes away! ~~! ~! ~

Stop it, you're out scaring people again.

My wife ~ ~ and Niu Wangmo came out to see God ~ ~

No problem with this

Stephen Chow as a Bartender and Soldier-The Legend of the Condor Heroes/Felix Wong Yat Wa and Barbara Yung Edition.

I accidentally discovered that Stephen Chow was not famous before, hehe O.

-Xiao Li flew to the second place.

Who is the first?

-Xiao Li flew a knife at his mother.

Oh, it's Xiao Li. He flies a knife.

Where is this shredded pork? Steak, obviously.

Xiao Qiang, I regard you as my own flesh and blood. . . . . .

Wang Cai, I live alone with you.

An ancient family is like a treasure.

He has always been a handsome and unique pork prince in my mind.

Have you seen Jurassic Park?

No, I saw it in Jurassic.

Yes, Jurassic.

Tyrannosaurus Rex is the one who sneaks around or "Ow …" bites people.

It's an "Ow …" one. The one in China doesn't bite.

Don't tell me you don't know, I sing just like Jacky Cheung. Look, even my Adam's apple can move.

After reading so many works, his sentence "I support you" still reminds me.

My admiration for you is like an endless river, and it is like an uncontrollable flood of the Yellow River.

This sentence is the best.

Many of them are authentic comedy lines here.

Funny and comedy are two concepts.

In fact, comedy and tragedy go the same way.

"I raise you." I think it's really not funny. Very touching. How many men can say that? This is definitely an oath.

And the end of the big speech

Samurai, I won't hug you.

The Monkey King turned into a cool breeze, captivating the samurai's eyes.

Young men and women embrace each other warmly, samurai. I'm not leaving.

The girl looked at the Monkey King's back. What is that?

A samurai is like a dog.

The Monkey King left the crowd.

I'll cry!

The ball doesn't kick the ground like this ~ ~ ~ `.

"Take a beautiful place first", "Duo Long, you take the lead" ~ ~ ~ "* * ~ ~ First" is a classic sentence ~ ~ ~ ~:]

Once,

There is a sincere love in front of me,

I didn't cherish it,

If you lose it, you will regret it.

The most painful thing in the world is this.

Cut your sword on my throat!

Don't hesitate any longer!

If God can give me another chance,

I will say three words to that girl:

I love you.

If you have to put a deadline on this love,

I hope it's ... ten thousand years!

Me, Kao! I took you there! Always say that!

Tang Priest: Don't be angry, it will offend people! Wukong, you are too naughty. I told you not to throw things around. Why did you ... you threw the stick away before I finished! Moonlight box is a treasure. If you throw it away, it will pollute the environment. What if you hit a child? Even if you can't hit children, it's wrong to hit those flowers and plants!

Supreme treasure: You think I don't know! (pointing to the person next to me) I called you blind. Who embarrassed you? (turning around) You're still running! (Chasing a dog) Look at you. You are so mean and shameless. How can you come out with me and wander the rivers and lakes?

I forgot to tell you that I am a big fan of a Chinese Odyssey.

I've seen the Moonlight Box 17 Ping, and there's another one called Marriage by the Great Sage. I've seen it 18 times.

Bai Jingjing: Let you go? You give me a reason not to kill you!

Supreme treasure: I was thinking ... give me a reason to kill me first!

Xia Zi: I see, you are crazy!

Xia Zi: Then let's start this relationship right away!

Tang Priest: Wukong, how can you talk to Sister Guanyin like this?

Wukong: Wow! Shut up!

Tang Priest: You startled me again.

Wukong: Ha! I don't care about you, but the ants are still dragging out an ignoble existence, and the gods are doing this to you, so don't do it!

Supreme treasure: Isn't it a serious injury? How easy is it to die?

Get up in the morning and shout to the mirror: "pig!" " "

I saw a puppy call it "Wang"

Stephen Chow's classic lines

In fact, I am a well-proportioned and graceful juggler who changes the social atmosphere, charms thousands of girls, stimulates the film market and enhances the connotation of young people. My name is Gu Jing, and my English name is Gu Jing!

I want you to meet Pizad's boyfriend. Bad and ugly hair style, little money, no schooling, average sexual ability, but all good looks. Ha ha laugh ..

Water is famous for picking up girls countless times, and it is a thorn in all our men. His elegant posture exudes attractive charm, which makes all girls irresistible. His heartbreaking eyes, no matter how cold and arrogant a woman is, will be melted by his gentle eyes. He is recognized as the lover of the neighborhood and the soul of the tea restaurant. Everyone knows him-Prince Egg Tower.

He is proud, but kind-hearted. He keeps a low profile, but he is admired by thousands of people. He can cook a super dish called the art of fire with the fire given by God to mankind. Is he the incarnation of the immortal? Or the Hellscream? No one knows, but what is certain is that everyone gives him a title-food ~ ~ Oh, my God!

Is that really the case? ! What I said cannot be broken! Not bad! I am Tang Bohu who pays equal attention to beauty and wisdom, and I am the embodiment of hero and chivalry!

Sweeping the floor is only my superficial work. My real identity is a research monk.

Sir: I'm a left Qinglong and a right white tiger. The old cow is at the waist and the faucet is at the chest. If people don't kill people, the Buddha won't kill the Buddha!

The poor monk is the abbot of Shaolin Temple, whose legal name is wet dream. Amitabha, I came and went with the wind. ...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right! To tell you the truth, I'm Pan An in the jade tree breeze, and I'm the little prostitute Zhou with plum blossoms pressing Haitang!

With your wisdom, can I scare you?

I'm not afraid to tell you, I've seen UFOs since BB, which is what the world calls UFOs and UFOs. You got it? When I was 4 years old, I saw the legendary Loch Ness monster again. I talked with bigfoot in the Himalayas and guessed spring. Plus, I play roller coasters every morning, pirate ships at night, pirate ships in the morning, roller coasters at night and pirate ships many times at dusk. Let me tell you something.

Sir, you have bones on your forehead, light in your eyes, immortal reincarnation, immortal descent. I finally waited for you. Don't move. Although I let the cat out of the bag and disaster is inevitable, it's my destiny takes a hand. Even if I have to take a big risk, I'll let you see the whole picture.

Ah! The master's thinking is really like sailing against the current, and he is worthy of being a king with thoughts.

All right! He stuffed it in without thinking, and he deserves to be a swinger. I love you! ! !

Do you think I can't find you if I hide? It's no use! An excellent person like you is as bright and outstanding as a firefly in the dark, no matter where you are. Your melancholy eyes, your sparse beard, your magical knife technique and that dry martini all fascinated me deeply. However, although this is excellent, there are rules. Anyway, you have to pay for last night's accommodation. Don't you have to pay that woman?

Eliminating violence and safety is our obligation as citizens, and doing good deeds and accumulating virtues is also my own interest. So I help the old lady cross the street once a week, and I will do it three or four times on Sundays and public holidays.

No! This is not an ordinary box, it is the god in the box, referred to as the box god!

Good is rewarded with good, and evil with evil. There is a natural cycle, and the weather is beautiful. I once caught a dragon and a phoenix by mistake. The emperor caught me today, which is really instructive. My admiration for the emperor is like a raging river and an uncontrollable Yellow River.

What about his martial arts? It's called nine days and ten places. Bodhisattva shook her head in fear and split the golden lightning palm! Within 100 miles from Fiona Fang, people, animals, shrimps, crabs and fleas all flew to Huasong!

I tell you, to deal with this kind of woman, we must use condescending eyes and strong arms to save her from the ocean of desire.

Humiliate and beg for forgiveness:

With your wisdom, it is difficult for me to explain to you!

Shit, you are a piece of shit. Life is cheaper than ants. I drive a Mercedes, you pick your nose. Eat! ? Eat shit!

The alkaline water surface has not been chilled, so it is full of alkaline water. Fish balls also have no fishy smell, but in order to hide it, you specially added curry juice to make curry fish balls. But it's naive, because you haven't cooked enough time. The taste of curry is only on the surface, not at all. Fish balls will be diluted when they are put into soup. A good curry fish balls will keep you from tasting fish and curry. Defeat Never pick carrots, too much muscle, failure! The pigskin was so badly cooked that it didn't bite the head. Defeat Pig blood will rot, disperse and fail when it is caught! The worst thing is the large intestine, which is not cleaned at all, and there is a lump of shit. Are you mistaken? Hey, shit. Hey, shit. Did you get a look at him? Hey, shit!

Ridiculous! I dare say that in front of me, no one dares to pretend, please be quiet!

Haircuts shouldn't be crazy. You should cooperate! Look at your hairstyle, it doesn't match your face, your figure, your hairstyle, it doesn't match at all! ! Brother Huan! What exactly do you want?

what did you say ? /Excuse me? You can tell such a lie? Do you have a conscience? I'm sorry about your parents, right? Is it worthy of this country? Hold a press conference to clarify, or I will skin you, tear your bones and drink your blood!

Elder sister, you are not afraid of being laughed at, or even the dog will faint.

There is nothing wrong with you. It was your parents who made you like this.

Do you want to? When is it my turn to think? !

Don't blame me for being too frank! It's insignificant that you want to take my life. ! ! !

It's really disappointing. Hearing your voice, I think you are a very emotional and imaginative person. I can tell you have no connotation by looking at you all over.

Wife of shop-owner: If you have a son, you won't have an asshole. Dad sells assholes You suck ass and love chicken ass. Big ass, you don't have your own business, and you bother me?

Mother-in-law: You don't have to make trouble. I will expose my life. I died at the age of three, four, five, six, seven or eight, ten, eleven, and your man was hooked by me.

Bao Longxing: You have lemon head, mouse eyes, aquiline nose, eight eyebrows, protruding ears, big mouth, old Qiang teeth, wick neck, high and low shoulders, long and short hands, chicken breast, dog belly and useless waist. If I were you, I would have killed myself.

Bohu, don't be so awesome, okay? I swear, if I gamble again in the future, I will let the ugliest woman in the world gang-rape every night until she is in pieces and shaky. Is it okay?

Two girls, have pity on me. My family of six died overnight. I'm infected with 10 consumption. You can buy me.

Fate is really unfair. Why did I lose my hair when I was so handsome? You are so ugly, but don't lose your hair.

Why do you treat me like a pig? Let me sleep as soon as you see me.

Self-describing narrative class:

You go first. I'll leave when my legs are not so shaky and my heart is not so chaotic.

More than 30 years ago, when I was in middle school, I really thought about her all the time. Sometimes I suddenly stop urinating, and then I think of her, and when I feel sweet, I forget the half-bubble urine.

The bullet entered my thigh bone, compressed my aorta and blocked my trigeminal nerve. Now the left brain is paralyzed by hypoxia and the right side is paralyzed. I have to cut the wound with a knife and take out the bullet.

I mean, this method of mine is a distracted and lovely hometown used by Hua Tuo, an ancient imperial doctor. In ancient times, Guan Yunchang concentrated on playing chess and scraping bones to cure poison. Today, I was addicted to watching porn to dig bones and get warheads, and I started-

As soon as he received the first blow, he cut his forehead to his nose. Then, right in front of his stall, his tail keel was cut several times, and two tendons were broken, which suppressed the trigeminal nerve and affected the central system of the brain, even his teeth came out.

After beheading the head of a chicken, burning yellow paper, and bleeding for the alliance, Wei Xiaobao, you are my brother in the Heaven and Earth Society, and temporarily incorporated into Aoki Hall. We have ten commandments, twenty commandments, thirty commandments and eighty commandments. If you break one of them, even if you are my apprentice, you will die by the sword.

But in this way, I am a person with complicated feelings. If a person with complicated feelings only loves you, he will become emotionally defective. Even if you have a person with emotional defects, it's no use.

Wang Cai ... Wang Cai ......

Wang Cai, you can't die. Wang Cai, you have followed me for so many years, and you are affectionate and sincere to me. But now I haven't even let you eat a full meal. Sorry, Wang Cai!

Xiao Qiang! Xiao Qiang, what's wrong with you Xiao Qiang? Xiao Qiang, you can't die! I live alone with you, share joys and sorrows for so many years, and have always taught you to raise you as your own flesh and blood. Unexpectedly, today, white-haired people send black-haired people!

Category of short sentences:

My wife, I live near Suzhou. There is a house and a field at home, and it is endless. Who knows that Tang Bohu, he is outrageous and ruthless, colluding with officials to look down on heaven, occupying my big house and my land. My grandfather turned against him and he hit him with a stick. My grandmother called him a liar, but he caught him in the Tang family a hundred times. Finally, she hanged herself and hated the world. He also kicked my father and son out of the house and drifted to the river. In order to support my father, I had to beg alone in front of the temple. Who knows that Tang Bohu is so insidious that he didn't know this situation, so he sent someone to plot against him and beat my father and son in front of the whole city. The little man was strong and his life was saved. Poor father, he's dead! This kind of hate is harder to fill. In order to bury my father, I had to sell myself as a slave, earn money diligently, and read articles at the same time, vowing to gain fame and fortune, and my enemies will be strong! Since then, Tang Yin's poems have been with me, and I remember this unforgettable hatred! ! !

On a dark and horrible night in a month, I am the Supreme Treasure, and you are Bai Jingjing. Wonderful love begins with this little fire on the bridge. As soon as I turned around, you suddenly pointed at me and my whole hand caught fire. You have to fight for me, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, fight for it, do you see? I can describe the future development in twists and turns, because A Niu Wang Mo suddenly appeared. At that time, after you hit Niu Wangmo with the bone in your hand, you took me back to Pansi Cave. The so-called time flies, it is really good, because it just reached its climax in the blink of an eye. On the broken rock, when feelings broke out, I desperately touched you, and you desperately touched me, making a vow of never parting. Unfortunately, happiness is always short-lived, and what you get is infinite pain and sigh. Why did you die? I only use the box of moonlight to turn back the clock and find out the truth. Finally, I know that you committed suicide! At the last minute, I hope to save your life! But the last time I went back in time, the Moonlight Box was broken, and I went back to 500 years ago in an instant … that's it.

Conversation class:

A: It has been ten years. I thought this country had forgotten me.

B: No way. Even a pair of underwear and a piece of sanitary paper have their uses.

A: Really, if I lie to you, you promise my son has no asshole.

B: If you look like this, you won't have an asshole when you give birth to a son. Even if there is, it's a deformed asshole!

Who are you?

B: Jianghu is dangerous. I never leave my name easily.

Answer: since you refuse to leave your name, you have to leave a head!

I have been lonely all my life. The only person who lives alone is this head. I'm afraid it's not that easy for you to take it away!

A: OK! You forced me. I want to dye this sea with your blood.

B: I've been wandering all my life, just like a lonely boat in Wang Yang, and I've already put life and death out of my mind.

Other categories:

Sorry, I'm undercover.

You can't see me, you can't see me, you can't see me. ......

Surprised? Are you happy? Are you happy?

Sorry, director. hum ......

According to the background and personality of the character, I want to be naughty in rhythm during the later performance, but it is a bit contradictory. what do you think?

According to Stanny Slavski, a master of Russian drama theory, take pain as an example. It should reflect from the outside to the inside and then from the inside. Come on, you try to do it again now.

Impossible, silly sister's old * *' > * * The eldest brother's son said yes.

Talking about money hurts feelings! But the way, our brothers have no feelings for you. Let's talk about money directly.

It doesn't matter whether you have money or not, but at least be a respected person! (Change the subject)-I'd rather have money. ......

You are all women, so why kill each other? Even chickens are patriotic.

Hurry back to Mars, the earth is very dangerous.

If you want to scare me, you can't fall to the ground. I'm afraid of everything and ghosts!

Modern life is fast-paced and stressful. Thanks to Master Xing for bringing us infinite joy and unforgettable classic lines. If we can apply some of them to our daily life, will we feel more humorous and relaxed while bringing laughter to others? Friends, might as well give it a try!

When you can't sleep at night, say, "It's a long night, and you don't want to sleep."

When you praise your hometown with others, you say, "Although it is not beautiful, it has a unique flavor."

When you admire others, say, "I'm KAO! I have taken you! "

When I was disturbed by others during the break, I said, "I dare say no one dares to pretend in front of me." Please be quiet! " "

When you are walking in the street and hear a stranger greet you, you say, "Talk to me? Are you talking to me? Wrong person! "

When you can't understand what others are saying, just say, "I see, you are crazy!" " "

When others don't understand what you are saying, say, "With your wisdom, it's hard for me to explain it to you!" " "

When you seriously look down on others, you say, "shit, you are a piece of shit." Life is cheaper than ants. I drive a Mercedes, you pick your nose. Eat! ? Eat shit! "

When your girlfriend asks you why you like her, she says, "Do you need a reason to love someone?"

When a person who likes you but you don't like her asks you why, she says, "I am a person with complicated feelings. If a person with complicated feelings only loves you, he will become emotionally defective. Even if you have a person with emotional defects, it is useless. "

When praised for bravery, people said, "It is our duty as citizens to eliminate violence and maintain good morals, and it is also my own interest to do good deeds and accumulate virtues. Therefore, I help the old lady cross the street once a week, and I also do it three or four times on Sundays and public holidays. "

When I don't like other people's hairstyles, I said, "When you cut your hair, don't just watch how others cut it." You should cooperate! Look at her hairstyle, it doesn't match her face at all, it doesn't match her face, it doesn't match her figure and hairstyle at all, it doesn't match at all! ! "

When I laughed at myself, I said, "Fate is really unfair. Why did I lose my hair when I was so handsome? Some people are so ugly but don't lose their hair. "

Seeing a child littering in the street, he said, "You are so naughty! I told you not to throw things around, it's wrong to throw things around! "

When I was drunk, I said, "Hey, give me some time. I'll get used to it when I throw up!" " "

When the interview failed, I said, "I guessed the front, but I couldn't guess the ending ..."

When the weather turned cloudy, he said, "What a big marshmallow! ! "

When it's going to rain, it says, "Look out! It thundered! It rains to collect clothes! "

When others complained about their incompetence after drinking, they comforted him and said, "How come, even a pair of underwear and a piece of sanitary paper have their uses."

When you are impatient with others' pestering, you say, "Hurry back to Mars, the earth is very dangerous."

When you are not satisfied with what others say, say, "Oh! I can sue you for slander if you talk like that, ha! "

Haha, there are too many classics. Please also give some advice.

"Isn't it strange? Are you happy? Are you happy? "

Who are you?

B: Jianghu is dangerous. I never leave my name easily.

Answer: since you refuse to leave your name, you have to leave a head!

I have been lonely all my life. The only person who lives alone is this head. I'm afraid it's not that easy for you to take it away!

How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents still alive? To say a word, I just want to make one more friend before I die.

People and goblins are born of mothers, different people are born of mothers, and demons are born of mothers ... so being a demon is like being a human being. If you have a kind heart, you are no longer a demon, but a shemale.