Humorous jokes

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. The following are humorous jokes I compiled. Don't miss them.

1. A playboy said to a beautiful girl who had dinner with him, "Would you like to have breakfast with me tomorrow?"

She replied, "Of course."

Playboy said, "shall I call you or pat you with my hand?"

2. A blacksmith with a good craft took an apprentice in his later years. His disciples were diligent and eager to learn, and after three years, he became proficient in the craft. Master said it would be more diligent to teach you tricks for another three years. Three years later, the master solemnly said: iron is red-hot, don't touch it with your hands.

3. I am a veterinarian. Because I successfully treated a dog in dystocia, the mother and son were safe, and its owner sent a banner of "master of gynecology" ...

4. A friend said that last time in the hippopotamus pool in the zoo, the hippopotamus only showed its head because of the hot weather, when she heard a female voice: "My God! There is such a big frog! "

A polar bear plucks his own hair when he is bored. One, two, three ... All pulled out. Suddenly, the polar bear said, "I am so cold!" " "

6. A wife was pregnant for seven months and knew it was a boy, so she proudly said to her husband, "Now you have it. I have everything. "

7. The driver of the double-decker car thought that the drunk talked too much, so he asked him to find a seat on the upper floor. Soon, the drunk came down. Asked about the reason, the drunk said, "No driver is unsafe."

8. On weekends, I didn't want to eat in the canteen, so the dormitory decided to eat outside the school. Old four won't go to Warcraft. Let's bring him food.

The five of us sat around a table and wolfed down our food. When a dish was served and robbed, the plate was empty.

Little sister brought new dishes and then took the empty plates away.

But because the restaurant was crowded and the service was slow, we wolfed it down and there was only one plate on the table.

Finally, when we finished eating, we burped, served the food for Old Four, and wanted to leave.

Next to a classmate who just came to eat gave us a look and said:

"Cow, a group of people packed up and left after eating a dish."

9. When I was at school, I was going to change my pants in the dormitory one day. I just took off my belt. Unexpectedly, several female students came in. I had no choice but to come to the dormitory next door with my pants. I untied my button and was about to take it off. Unexpectedly, several female students came in. I had no choice but to carry my pants to the door of the dormitory next door. Because I was in a hurry with pants in my hand, I had to kick open the dormitory door and shout, "Is there a woman in it?" Is there a woman? "

I saw many girls sitting in the room, looking at me in confusion. ...

10 One day, two men and women who were in love were on the road. The boy took the girl with him, and the girl was beautiful, wearing a very elegant white dress. Boys' eyes are not very good-myopia. The boy was riding a bicycle with the girl on the road, and they were together sweetly.

At this time, passing a crossroads, no one noticed the existence of the police, and the boy rode to the police. The policeman looked at it and shouted, "You! Come down, come down. " The boy jumped out of the car at once, and the girl was calm. Seeing this situation, her mind turned to her heart. Say to the police, "Have you seen me?" The policeman was stunned. The girl winked at her boyfriend when the police were not looking, and the boy understood at once. The policeman asked the boy again, "Is she your girlfriend?" The boy said, "Who are you talking about?" The girl said, "Have you seen me?" The policeman was horrified and said to the boy, "Go, go!"

1 1. The bus driver keeps stepping on the accelerator to get on the bridge. When he found an old woman crossing the road in front, it was too late to brake! I saw the old woman lying on the road in front of the car, motionless, with a pile of intestines flowing out of her side and beginning to ooze blood. ...

Some people started screaming, some people were speechless, and the driver looked pale and dared not get down in his seat. When the driver in the car started pointing at the driver, something strange happened ... Suddenly, the old woman stood up trembling, took out a broken plastic bag and began to pick up the intestines, muttering, "How do you eat the intestines you just bought?"

12, my brother doesn't like the dishes cooked by his mother, but he likes instant noodles. His mother scolded him, "You won't go out to buy lunch, will you?" Eating instant noodles is not nutritious! "

The younger brother talked back and said, "I just like eating, so what!" " "

"Oh, my mother told you, instant noodles are really not a good thing. There is a young lady in your father's company. In order to save money and send it home, she eats instant noodles at noon and night in the morning. Eating instant noodles every day, she died three months later! "

Brother (frightened to disgrace): "Really?"

How can mom lie to you? "

Really? Then how did she die? "

-Well ... I had an accident when I bought instant noodles ... "

13. When an old man saw the train for the first time, he couldn't help touching the carriage of the train. At this moment, the train just whistled and made a loud noise. The old man exclaimed in surprise, "Oh, this guy is ticklish, too!"

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