How to eliminate the guard of strangers?

There will be many changes in a person's life. Everyone will have this experience from school to work, from here to there, from the old environment to the new environment. Every time there is such a change, you are faced with a strange communication space, and you have to set foot in a new communication circle and rebuild good interpersonal relationships. This period of time is the running-in period of interpersonal relationships. In this running-in period, if you don't get along well, you will be out of tune with the new environment; Keep straight, and you will soon blend in. How to spend the running-in period of interpersonal relationship effectively?

(1) Correct your new position. Everyone has a corresponding position in communication, which is the embodiment of the law of communication and the requirement of social norms. If you can't position yourself correctly in communication, you will inevitably appear abrupt, bold and unconventional in social circles, and you will also be accused, disgusted, resisted, ridiculed and hit by social groups. Communicative relations are complex and changeable, and it is difficult for communicators to see clearly and correctly grasp them. What is your position in the social circle? How to adjust your position is not an easy task. Therefore, in the face of new environment and new friends, we should first know and evaluate ourselves and determine what kind of face and tone to enter the new communicative role. A key middle school tried out the principal responsibility system, and with the support of superiors, three backbone teachers were transferred from ordinary middle schools to enrich the teaching staff. When these three teachers arrive at the new unit, they all have such confusion: is the new unit a key school or should they keep the attitude of backbone teachers? Or show the humility of changing teachers? Proper limit is not easy to grasp. Mr. Huang is bent on his own way and keeps his true colors. As a result, his new colleagues laughed at his "ignorance". Mr. Shu changed his aloof personality in the past, and treated people only with Nuo Nuo's advice, humility and respect. As a result, people not only look down on him, but also doubt his ability. Only teacher Zhang had an insight into the communication environment, quietly and naturally, and constantly adjusted his communication position, which not only quickly entered a new role, but also quickly won people's respect. Correcting your new position is a profound process, and not everyone can succeed. This requires the understanding of communication and the psychological accomplishment of conscience. Maintaining a normal mind often plays a prominent role in a person's position adjustment.

③ Take a calm and simple attitude. The running-in period is a process in which both sides gradually get familiar with each other, adapt to each other, identify with each other and accept each other. There are thousands of differences between people, and there are always contradictions and conflicts. As a new face, entering a strange communication field, from the beginning, he was unscrupulous, arrogant and unable to get along with others. This seems to be a common phenomenon among extroverts and young people, and it is also a problem that should be overcome. It is better to adopt a calm and simple communication attitude, which is more helpful to realize your running-in with the new environment. This is a method of waiting and watching. In your self-discipline, you will make a comprehensive, detailed and in-depth observation and grasp of the new communication environment, so as to achieve a targeted and effective fit and blend with the new environment. On the surface, this is a negative way, but in essence, it is a strategy and a more active and effective skill. The key middle school held a welcome meeting for three teachers who were transferred from school, and the atmosphere was very warm. The teachers in this school have shown good qualities, such as singing, playing, playing and rapping, and everything is decent. Enthusiastic teachers will certainly not be indifferent to new teachers, and they will ask for "one" in succession. Teacher Huang couldn't sit still, picked up the musical instrument, brightened his voice, posed a pose, and took out his housekeeping skills with a real knife and a real gun, taking in everything in a glance. In this atmosphere, Mr. Zhang enjoyed others' performances with peace of mind. Under the repeated clamor of everyone, he slowly began to recite poems. Then, on a spring night, just after reading four sentences, he bowed his head and took a curtain call. Anyway, he didn't want to be "ugly". Teacher Zhang's approach is just right, giving people a feeling that the altar does not shake, and everyone has a good impression on him.

③ Keep a proper distance. The intimacy of interpersonal relationships is usually expressed by interpersonal distance. The two sides are close and close; The relationship between the two sides is clear and the distance is far. I just met new colleagues and new friends, but I don't know each other well and understand each other. The relationship has just formed, and the distance is naturally large. If you get close to someone stiffly, it will violate the rules of communication, and the other party will not only be unfriendly, but also have resentment. This counterproductive effect will put you in a passive position. Keeping a proper distance can give the other person a chance to observe you calmly and get to know you. You will experience the exchange of ideas and the blending of emotions in the process of getting familiar with and understanding gradually. As your relationship becomes closer, the distance between you will gradually disappear. Keep an appropriate distance within the acceptable range of the other party, so as to attract the other party effectively. When Mr. Shu arrived at the new school, he wanted to establish close interpersonal relationships from the beginning, and he saw every faculty member make affectionate expressions. Sometimes he will pretend to be very casual and generous and go to a strange teacher's house to get this and that, and as a result, he will become a very annoying role. Mr. Huang is just the opposite of Mr. Cambodia. He is arrogant to anyone and a bear to people thousands of miles away. It is natural for Mr. Zhang to control his enthusiasm to a certain extent and keep the distance between people at a certain level.

④ Effectively realize role transformation. Changing living space will change people's social role. If you can't readjust your mentality and correct your behavior, you won't be able to adapt to the new environment, and others will misunderstand and criticize you, so you will inevitably become a person who is incompatible with the new environment. People are dynamic, and the environment is independent of people's will. People should take the initiative to adapt to the new environment, there is no reason to ask the new environment to accommodate you personally. Therefore, role change should be an automatic behavior, especially the word "effective", so as to realize timely and appropriate successful role change and turn yourself into a new member in the new environment completely, timely and reliably. Teacher Zhang is a Chinese teacher. When he was in an ordinary middle school, he was a senior three every year. In key middle schools, the situation is different. There are many excellent teachers here, and teacher Zhang is indispensable in senior three. Even if you are extremely capable, others have a process of understanding. Therefore, Teacher Zhang is very open-minded. Unlike Mr. Huang, he wants to go to Grade One. His reasonable approach is based on his re-evaluation of his own value and role correction. As a result, he regained people's favor. However, Mr. Huang's thoughtless behavior made the leaders and colleagues misunderstand.

⑤ Cultivate communication. The highest level of communication is that people are attracted to each other and inseparable. Of course, if we want to find a way to run in, we must find a way in this respect. A person's attraction to others in communication is manifested in his communication struggle. This is a complex with rich contents. Including people's image, knowledge, morality, ability, language, humor and other multi-level and multi-faceted content. A person full of communicative charm, others will take the initiative to approach him, accept him and adapt to him, and the differences and contradictions between people will be effectively eliminated, and the running-in of interpersonal relationships will be natural. Therefore, in the face of new environment and new friends, it is essential to cultivate your own unique communication efforts, create a favorable communication environment for yourself and bring yourself an ideal communication position. The communication between Teacher Huang and Teacher Shu was not wonderful at first. Due to inadequate preparation and improper regulation, the new school did not effectively open up the situation, and many faculty members misunderstood. But they are all backbone teachers in the end, which is quite unique in some ways. For example, Mr. Shu's calligraphy is a must, and using his spare time to perform calligraphy stunts for everyone gives people a beautiful feeling. This adds a lot of communication aura to Mr. Shu. Another example is teacher Huang, who is good at telling jokes. Although usually cocky, but in groups of three or five, a few words will make people laugh. Unconsciously, everyone forgot his arrogance and became fond of him. Now, teachers in Cambodia, like Mr. Huang and Mr. Zhang, have run in with their new colleagues and become popular teachers in the new school. Recently, because of his good relationship with the masses and strong professional ability, Mr. Zhang was promoted to vice president and became a convincing and respected person.