Who has a super funny joke to share?

Super funny! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Glad to answer your question, I hope it will help you! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

On the first day of school, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "Xiao Ming, 1+ 1=?" Xiao Ming said, "I don't know." The teacher said, "Then go home and ask your family." Xiao Ming went to ask his mother, who was quarrelling with others. Xiao Ming asked, "Mom 1+ 1=?" Mom said, "Asshole!" Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= asshole; Xiaoming went to ask his father again. Dad is drinking beer. Xiao Ming asked, "Dad 1+ 1=?" Dad said, "Cool!" Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= cool; Xiaoming went to ask grandpa again. Grandpa is watching TV. Xiao Ming asked, "Grandpa 1+ 1=?" Grandpa said, "gangster!" "Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= gang boss; Xiaoming asked his sister who was singing the national anthem: people who don't want to be slaves! Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= people who don't want to be slaves; Xiaoming went to ask his sister who was singing children's songs: rabbit, open the door! Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= bunny opens the door. The next day, the teacher asked, "Xiaoming 1+ 1=?" Xiao Ming said, "Asshole." "Pa" teacher slapped Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said, "Cool." The teacher said inexplicably, "Who taught you?" Xiao Ming said, "The boss of these people. The teacher was startled and asked, "Xiao Ming, what are you doing?" "Xiao Ming sings: people who don't want to be slaves. The teacher shut Xiao Ming out of the door. Xiao Ming knocked at the door and sang, Bunny, please open the door. The teacher fainted.

I gave the landlord a cold joke and thought it was very cold. I'll give two! Because it's so classic!

1, female: put it on!

Man: It's better not to wear it.

Woman: Wear it safely.

Man: Trust my skills.

W: I won't let you go without it.

Man: You look like a man without it.

Woman: Are you bored? Will riding a motorcycle and wearing a helmet kill you?

2.a, B, C and D, which word is the coolest? = => Ding

After working hard for most of my life, I finally bought a house in the suburbs of Beijing.

On the day of payment, I took out my mobile phone with trembling hands in tears and prepared to tell my family.

Who knows that the boot screen shows: Welcome to Hebei Mobile!

Respondents: E, E, Wei, Zhi Ao-Junior Magician Level 3 2009-10-2123:18.

The report said that one day, you were walking in the forest,

Suddenly, a big bear appeared behind you.

That's when you found out and ran away.

The bear is catching up.

What do you hope will happen next:

A was chased by a bear and eaten miserably-worse than an animal.

B ran as fast as a bear and finally ran out of the forest. The bear gave up hunting-it was an animal.

C ran faster than a bear, so he dumped it-worse than an animal.

Respondents: Soft Ice Cream-Newcomers in the Workplace Level 3 2009- 10-2 1 23:22

Report the stories of haha and hee hee.

one day

Haha and hee hee go out shopping.

Here comes the bus. Fight and kill, haha

Hee hee cried, Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha, you are dead.

Respondent: Shuiyuzhao-minor celebrity level 5 2009-10-2207:11

Miss prosecutor, can I see your underwear?

Respondents: Jay _ h 12 18- Captain Grade 8 2009-10-221:10.

Once upon a time, there was a snail .. One day, when he was walking, he suddenly farted .. Guess what?

The shell was knocked off? wrong ..

The answer is ..

Bullshit, of course. Keep walking! Otherwise, he will shout loudly: hey, everyone, come and see, I farted!

Interviewee: Watermelon Wandering-Extreme Level 2009- 10-22 13:00

Once upon a time, a glass and a coffee cup were walking on the road, and a truck was honking on the road. But why was the glass smashed and the coffee cup not?

-

Because coffee cups have ears and glasses have no ears (handles).

Defendant: coveted junior intern level 2009- 10-22 20:53

Report that I want to sleep

Respondent: a 264933 130- Intermediate Disciple Level 2 2009- 10-23 00:54

If you report this story, you must tell it slowly. For example, if you are A, the person you listen to is B.

Once upon a time, there was a bear. He is a polar bear. He's bored. He's super bored. He pulled out his hair, pulled out one, pulled out one, pulled out another, pulled out another, pulled out another, pulled out another, pulled out another, pulled out another, pulled out another, pulled out another, pulled out another, finally. .....

B was speechless and a little impatient.

A: Do you think this story is cold?

B: Not cold.

A: But polar bears feel cold!

Reply: gwx 44644- Jianghu Young Xia Level 7 2009- 10-23 18:32

Report haha, ask Jun Xiu of TVXQ, he likes it.

Respondent: Anonymous 2009- 10-23 20: 15

Report a friend

Do you know why Panasonic is not as powerful as Sony?

Because Panasonic (afraid of Sony)

Interviewee: lk 32 1 123 KL- junior magician level 3 2009-123 22: 02.

It is said that the origin of the cold joke is such a story: one day the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

A little nonsense, a little boring, to put it mildly, a little postmodernism. Modern people are tired of telling original jokes and come up with these cold things.

Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Do you know why?

Because: it's really like Dabai.

2. A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice, and when he was really bored, he began to pluck his own hair. A ..........................................

There is a man who looks like an onion, crying while walking.

On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road.

The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes.

As a result, he skinned it.

As a result, the banana in the back fell down.

There is a hide-and-seek club, and the person in charge hasn't been found yet.

6. Draw a V on two fingers. What is this? Yeah ~ ~ Hands shaking down, what is it? It's fallen leaves! Ha ha ha, laughing me to death.

7. Stretch four fingers,

What is this?

Four,

Bend four fingers,

What is this?

Wonderful ~!

8. When the millionaire was driving a luxury extended "Lincoln" car through a village, he saw two beggars pulling grass at the roadside to eat. The millionaire immediately stopped the car.

"Why do you eat grass?"

"We really have no money ..." A beggar replied.

"Really, get in the car and go to my house."

"I have a wife and two children at home ..." A beggar muttered.

"Call 1 and the rich man points to another beggar." And you, call your family, too. "

"My family has a large population. Besides my wife, there are five children. " Another beggar said.

"It doesn't matter, all call, go to 1.

In this way, two beggars and their families got on the bus, but fortunately it was an extended bus. On the way to exercise, a beggar's wife said gratefully, "Boss, it's very kind of you to invite even poor people like us to our home."

The millionaire replied, "Nothing, I just came back from abroad, and my house has been neglected.". The lawn in the yard may be more than one meter high and you can eat enough. "

Once upon a time, there was a loaf of bread walking in the street. He felt hungry, so he ate himself.

Once upon a time, there was a marshmallow who went to play ball for a long time. He said, "I'm so tired that I feel soft."

10 Once upon a time, there was a lamb. One day, he went out to play and met a wolf.

The wolf said, "I will eat you!" " ! ! "

Guess what?

As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.

1 1, there is a generation gap and no cleavage-this kind of communication is very difficult.

12, who will definitely be eliminated from the game, wolf, tiger or lion? Wolf, because: Momotaro (eliminated wolf)

13. When will Chen Shui-bian be reunified? When buying instant noodles.

14. Why does the silkworm baby have money? Because ... silkworms can cocoon (frugal)

15, which is the most embarrassing historical figure? Su Wu, because: Su Wu herded sheep in Beihai (kicked by the sea).

16, Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. . Cry, cry. . He flew. .

17. One day, three little pigs built three huts to avoid the wolf. Wolves easily destroyed straw houses, wooden houses and brick houses. Three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but the wolf caught up with them. The three little pigs said in despair, it's up to you. We gave up, whatever you wanted. At this moment, the wolf grinned and drooled and said:

Then tell me where little red riding hood is.

18, stones fight with rice cakes, and when they get angry, they kick the rice cakes into the sea. ...

Tell a story. Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who privately agreed for life, but the boy needed military service, so they made an oath with the girl and gave her a diamond ring, agreeing to meet the girl three years later today. At that time, the ring will be used as a wedding ring. Three years later, the girl waited for the boy, but she couldn't. Sad and desperate, she threw the diamond ring into the sea and moved away.

20. The diver's movements are difficult. He turned three times, then somersaulted forward for three and a half times, and then somersaulted backward for a month.

2 1. When my friend Li Shansi and I just moved, there was no TV at home, which was very boring. Let's pretend that there is a TV set on the desk, and then we can change the channel by pretending that we have a remote control. This son of a bitch keeps changing channels. I told him, but he wouldn't listen. Then we started fighting.

22. An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea and turned into a tea egg; An egg went swimming in Songhua River, and it became a preserved egg. An egg went to Shandong and became a Lu (halogen) egg; An egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road, fell to the ground and became a missile; An egg ran into someone's yard and became an atomic bomb; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a hydrogen bomb. An egg got sick and became a bad guy. An egg got married and became an asshole; An egg swam in the river and became a nuclear bomb. An egg ran into the flowers and became a Hua Dan. There is an egg riding a horse with a knife. It turns out that he is a Beijing opera blues. An egg is female and ugly, and it turns into a dinosaur egg; An egg is a man, and his wife commits adultery with other eggs outside, and as a result, he becomes an illegitimate child; There is an egg. ......

23. Once upon a time, there was a man named Cai, and everyone called him.

result ...

One day, he was taken away!

Once upon a time, there was a bird.

He passes through a cornfield every day,

But unfortunately,

One day, a fire broke out in the cornfield.

All the corn has turned into popcorn! ! !

After the birds fly by, ......

I thought it was snowing, so I froze. ...

25. Xiaoming: Have you ever seen a tortoise shake its head?

Kangkang shakes his head) No.

Xiaoming: Have you ever heard a fool say?

Idiot said no, retarded said no.

The story of words

Kangkang: .............

A reporter will visit 100 penguins in the Arctic.

He asked the first penguin what his usual interests were. The first penguin said, Eat. Go to sleep. Knock on the door.

The reporter asked doubtfully what is knocking at the door? The penguin left without saying anything. The reporter wants to say ok, don't talk. He visited the second penguin again. What are his usual interests? The second penguin said, eat, sleep and knock at the door. Why are you knocking again? The reporter muttered in his mind. One by one, from visiting the first penguin to the 99th penguin, their usual interests are eating, sleeping and making love.

Until the100th penguin.

The reporter asked him what your usual interests are.

Penguin 100th: Eat. Go to sleep.

The reporter felt very strange and asked it: Why didn't you knock?

Penguin issue 100:'' Because I am a drummer''

27. The coffee cup and the water cup crossed the road together. At this moment, an old man shouted "Be careful, it's a red light now". But after a while, the coffee cup crossed the road smoothly, but the water cup was hit by a truck and flowed into the note. Why?

The key: Because coffee cups have "ears", water cups don't have 5555555555555555.

28. On a straw boat

Lu Su: "Is it really possible to borrow arrows like this? Mr. Kong Ming? "

Zhuge Liang: "Trust me."

Lu Su: "But I'm still a little worried ..."

Zhuge Liang: "There is no need."

Lu Su: "But don't you think it's getting hotter and hotter in the boat?"

Zhuge Liang: "It's a little inconvenient to say that ... Is there anything wrong?"

Lu Su: "Yes, I'm afraid the enemy is shooting rockets ..."

Zhuge Liang: "Hey! ? Amethyst, can you swim? I can't. "

29. Soldier: "Thirst … Thirst …"

Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, and I remember there is a merlin nearby, which may arrive in a moment. "

Soldier: "Oh! There are plums to eat! Oh! "

Half an hour later-Coss: "Master! The expedition found a lot of water! "

Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink. "

Soldier: "If you don't go ... you must find Plum ..."

30. the story of diusim: "............."

Dong Zhuo: "........."

Lu Bu: "I just want to hear your truth. Which one do you love more?" ! ? "

The story of diusim: "............."

Dong Zhuo: "........."

Lu Bu: "Answer me!"

Dong Zhuo: "It's really hard to decide! I like both! "

Lu Bu: "Scum!" ! "-according to research, the first BL murder in China history occurred in the late Eastern Han Dynasty. ...

Choose the one you like. ...