Joke Collection Website - Bulletin headlines - All the lines that make the brain twists and turns in Love Apartment. Even Tang Youyou wants it. We have to arrange a sketch. .
Competition with Zhang Wei:
Tang Youyou: Yifei, you were
All the lines that make the brain twists and turns in Love Apartment. Even Tang Youyou wants it. We have to arrange a sketch. .
Competition with Zhang Wei:
Tang Youyou: Yifei, you were
Competition with Zhang Wei:
Tang Youyou: Yifei, you were fine just now, so what happened
Zhang Wei: She was unhappy because I won She paid five yuan
Tang Youyou: That's right, you dare to win even one fee! You don’t want to live?
Zhang Wei: I guessed how many pieces of clothes Yifei washed today
Hu Yifei: It happened by chance, it’s nothing special
Tang Yoyo: He may have secretly looked at your laundry basket
Hu Yifei: Ah, you are so perverted!
Zhang Wei: Where is it? I just noticed that you haven’t washed your clothes for a week, and you have worn the same clothes for the past three days. I reasoned that this is the wisdom of a lawyer. It’s just a fee. You didn’t guess mine
Hu Yifei: How could I deduce that you washed seven socks in five days?
Zhang Wei: Because I only have seven, but I don’t blame you. , in fact, boys’ analytical skills are inherently stronger than girls
Hu Yifei: Hey, you only won five yuan, are you so proud of it? Do you want to prove that you are smarter than everyone else?
Zhang Wei: There is no need to prove this point. Analysis of problems has always been my strength. Otherwise, how could I know who the murderer of your Conan is with just one glance?
Hu Yifei: What did you say
Tang Youyou: So, you are the best
Zhang Wei: Isn’t my enclosure the right answer
Hu Yifei: Who asked you for the answer? You ruined my whole series of comics. If I don’t sanction you, you don’t know that I am wise and brave!
Zhang Wei: I admit that I am brave, but wisdom has always been my strong point. Otherwise, I would not have chosen a career that relies on wisdom to make money as a lawyer
Hu Yifei: Really? Genius, have you ever made any money?
Zhang Wei: How should I put it? Today I won, five yuan. Today I won, five yuan...
Hu Yifei: Well, it seems that it is necessary for me to test your IQ so that you can get to know yourself again. Let’s play a game. If you answer the questions I asked correctly, I will admit that you are not mentally retarded and you will lose again. I'll give you an extra fifty yuan
Zhang Wei: Fifty...
Voiceover Zhang Wei: Fifty! Wow, I knew that wisdom can really make money. This is how I got rich, the first pot of gold
Zhang Wei: Don’t regret it. I took an intelligence test in an orphanage and the teacher said If my IQ is reduced by forty, it can be barely defined as smart
Hu Yifei: Then let me tell you, the intelligence tester in your orphanage is not as good as our microwave oven. If you lose in a while, , you have to pay me a new set of Detective Conan!
Tang Youyou: Sister Yifei, even if I buy a new set, the murderer is still the same person
Hu Yifei: That makes sense, let’s discount it
Zhang Wei: It’s a deal
Hu Yifei: The time limit is thirty seconds, please listen to the first question...Yuyou, we are not boxing
Tang Youyou: I just want to exaggerate What an atmosphere
Hu Yifei: Question, why don’t polar bears eat penguins?
Zhang Wei: Because polar bears are in the Arctic and penguins are in the Antarctic
Tang Youyou: Congratulations, you got the answer right
Hu Yifei: Where do you stand
Tang Youyou: I am neutral
Zhang Wei: I answered it correctly, fifty
Hu Yifei: Don't worry, the chips for the next question are one hundred , do you want to play?
Zhang Wei: Come on!
Hu Yifei: Question, if Zeng Xiaoxian climbed up a tree to pick cantaloupes, he could pick one in one minute, but every ten picks He will accidentally drop two. How many can he pick in a day?
Zhang Wei: Simple, I am best at mental arithmetic... Can I use a calculator
Hu Yifei: Hum
Tang Youyou: Time is up
Zhang Wei: One thousand, one hundred...
Hu Yifei: One thousand one hundred and fifty-two, right?
Zhang Wei: Yes, that’s right, one thousand one hundred Fifty-two, I was about to say
Hu Yifei: Many children also
Say one thousand one hundred and fifty-two
Zhang Wei: I won, one hundred
Hu Yifei: Sorry, the correct answer is...zero
Zhang Wei: Why
Hu Yifei: Because cantaloupes don’t grow on trees at all, and Zeng Xiaoxian has short legs and can’t climb trees at all. What I just said is, if
Zhang Wei : What is this, a brainteaser?
Hu Yifei: You don’t know how to turn your head, and you dare to say that you have a high IQ
Zhang Wei: Youyou, you comment
Tang Youyou: Well... You are not being rude, Zhang Wei, you now owe a penny and fifty.
Zhang Wei: Wait, I was not prepared just now. Let me warm up. I will never be fooled by you again.
Hu Yifei: The chips for the next round are two hundred. Are you sure you want to play?
Zhang Wei: Of course
Hu Yifei: Please listen to the question. If there is a car, Xiao Ming is driving, Xiao Hong and Xiao Lan are sitting in the back seat, who is the owner of the car?
Zhang Wei: I know, there is no such car at all, because you said, if
Hu Yifei: Haha, I’m sorry, you gave the wrong answer...there is really such a car, Moreover, the name of the car owner is...if. Because I just said, if, there is a car
Tang Youyou: Zhang Wei, you owe 250
Zhang Wei: Woohoo...
Hu Yifei :Excuse me, how do you say this in English?
Zhang Wei: Four
Tang Youyou: Congratulations, Zhang Wei, you answered all the English questions correctly
Hu Yifei: Excuse me, how do you say this in English?
Zhang Wei: This
Tang Youyou: Calm down, if you answer this question wrong again, you will owe one to two thousand yuan
Hu Yifei: Announce the correct answer, this is wonderful (curved four)
Zhang Wei: Woohoo
Hu Yifei: Give up, young man, there are some things Are you convinced?
Zhang Wei: Let me do it again. I can do it. I can definitely achieve this gorgeous reversal
Hu Yifei: What else can you bet on? I am You have to pay in cash
Zhang Wei: We always talk about money and it’s uneducated, we can bet on something fresh and refined
Hu Yifei: For example...your seven socks?
Zhang Wei: I have one more thing, the right to use my room
Hu Yifei: Why do I want your room?
Zhang Wei: Yifei, I What I bet with you is not to see what you want, but to see what I...have
Tang Youyou: Zhang Wei, it’s too much to play
Zhang Wei: Shi Ke You can't be killed, I want to defend the dignity of a lawyer
Hu Yifei: Humph, you are a man. If you answer the next four questions correctly, I will cancel your debt and return it together with your dignity. You, but if you answer a question wrong, there is really no way to turn around
Zhang Wei: Come on
Hu Yifei: Question, why does a turtle walk on two legs?
Zhang Wei: I know, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Hu Yifei: Not bad
Zhang Wei: Haha, I have mastered the trick of your questions
p>
Hu Yifei: What kind of dog walks on two legs
Zhang Wei: Snoopy
Hu Yifei: What kind of cat walks on two legs
p>
Zhang Wei: Hello Kitty
Hu Yifei: Yeah, I guessed it right, so I can’t help you. Question, which duck walks on two legs
Zhang Wei: Donald Duck, haha
Hu Yifei: Wrong, doesn’t every duck walk on two legs?
Tang Youyou: Gaga
Zhang Wei: Referee, she misled me
Hu Yifei: When did I say, I won’t mislead you anymore, And who told you she was It's refereed.
Are you not convinced? Do you want me to give you one last chance?
Zhang Wei: Yes, of course
Hu Yifei: Question, what kind of bird walks on two legs
p>
Zhang Wei: Every bird walks on two legs, hahahaha
Hu Yifei: Oh, I have learned to answer questions, but who told you that every bird walks on two legs? It walks on only one foot, but sparrows use jumping.
Tang Youyou: Rough talk but not rough reasoning
Zhang Wei: NO...
Finally and The duel between Guangu, Xiaoxian and Ziqiao:
Hu Yifei: I understand, you want to get Zhang Wei’s room use rights back
Zeng Xiaoxian: Yes, for the sake of the entire apartment Harmony, we have to do this
Hu Yifei: Why should I agree to you
Guan Gu: It doesn’t matter how much money you want, even if Zhang Wei is sold, we will pay For you
Hu Yifei: It’s not about money. If he’s not convinced, he can come again.
Have the ability to win back the room
Zeng Xiaoxian: Okay, I am willing to challenge you again on his behalf
Tang Youyou: Wow, wow, is there another competition? Okay, okay
Hu Yifei: It’s up to you, haha
Zeng Xiaoxian: Haha, you’re scared
Hu Yifei: Bah! I mean, don’t bother, let’s go together
Lu Ziqiao: One versus three, are you sure?
Hu Yifei: Compared with intelligence, what will happen even if the three of you add up? If I lose, the room will be returned to you. If I win, don’t blame me for changing your entire suite into... chess and cards. Room
Zeng Xiaoxian: A word is enough to settle the matter
Lv Ziqiao: But you can’t ask the question this time, it’s not fair
Hu Yifei: Then I’ll just take it easy
Tang Youyou: You are thinking of me now
Hu Yifei: If you don’t want to, then I’ll go find Yu Mo
Tang Youyou: I really want to play
p>Tang Youyou: The rules of the competition are as follows. Each team will take turns to answer thirty questions, with a time limit of thirty seconds for each question. The team with the most correct answers wins. Do you understand?
Hu Yifei: Youyou, you are quite professional
Tang Youyou: It is forbidden to get close to the referee! Next, we will decide which team starts first by tossing a coin... Could you please guess the pros and cons first
Hu Yifei: I want to spend
Guan Gu: I want a head
Lu Ziqiao: No, don’t listen to him, I want flowers too... Wait, no, I want a head! ... No, flowers, okay, okay, heads are heads... flowers!
Guan Gu: What’s the difference?
Lu Ziqiao: You don’t understand, it’s important to get the upper hand
Tang Youyou: Hum
Zeng Xiaoxian: Heads are decided happily like this
Tang Youyou: However, we use one yuan RMB, and there are never heads on it
Lu Ziqiao: Teacher Zeng It's your fault, we lost the opportunity
Guangu: Stop arguing, we want the opposite side of the flower, the side without the flower is the right one anyway
Tang Youyou: Yes Words
Lu Ziqiao: Words, who chose the words
Zeng Xiaoxian Lu Ziqiao Guangu: Ah!
Tang Youyou: Boys team, please select the answer type
Lu Ziqiao: European and American enjoyable category
Tang Youyou: There is no such category! We only have animal categories, life categories, film and television categories and science categories
Zeng Xiaoxian: Life Categories
Tang Youyou: Okay, please listen to the question... A person will always ask you to be responsible for her, and She is not responsible for you, who is it?
Zeng Xiaoxian: Haha, the third party
Tang Youyou: Wrong, it’s the bank, Yifei
Hu Yifei: Animal Class
Tang Youyou: A sow crossed a bridge. The bridge could bear a weight of 500 kilograms. The sow weighed 300 kilograms. But when it reached the middle of the bridge, the bridge collapsed. What happened?
Guangu: This is also called an animal question?
Hu Yifei: I know, it is a bridge that drives over
Tang Youyou: Answer, correct!
Lu Ziqiao: Can a sow drive? !
Hu Yifei: Zeng Xiaoxian can drive, why can’t Sow
Tang Youyou: Boys, it’s your turn now
Lu Ziqiao: Japanese action genre
p>
Zeng Xiaoxian: Still life type
Tang Youyou: Please listen to the question. Hu Yifei suddenly fell one thousand meters from an altitude of six thousand meters. Why did she still not die?
Lu Ziqiao: Because she fell on the plane
Tang Youyou: Wrong, because she is a Chinese stock investor... Yifei
Zeng Xiaoxian: I knew it, Can you use your brain?
Hu Yifei: Film and Television
Tang Youyou: Please tell me the four most common lines spoken by Monk Sha in Journey to the West
Hu Yifei: Ah, senior brother, the master was kidnapped by the monster
Tang Youyou: One sentence
Hu Yifei: Second senior brother, the master was kidnapped by the monster
Tang You
Youyou: The second sentence is correct
Hu Yifei: Senior brother, the second senior brother was kidnapped by monsters
Tang Youyou: The last sentence
Hu Yifei: Senior brother, the second senior brother Both senior brother and master were captured by monsters!
Tang Youyou: Absolutely correct!
Tang Youyou: Now the game has reached a fierce stage. The score on the court is 14:15. After changing sides, the Yifei team continues to lead with a slight advantage. Team Three Guns, here are your results. The last question, if you answer it wrong, your room will become a chess and card room. Please select the answer type
Guangu: Science, I love science
Tang Youyou: This question may not be your strong point. Please listen to the question... Medically, pain is divided into twelve levels. The first level is the pain when being bitten by a mosquito. The twelfth level is the most painful level. Yes, the mother’s pain during childbirth. So, what is the thirteenth level of pain?
Guangu: I know, I know, it’s seppuku.
Zeng Xiaoxian: No, no, no, no Hurry to answer, have you tried it?
Lu Ziqiao: I think it is definitely wrong. If hara-kiri is more painful than childbirth, why do so many people choose cesarean section? Referee, I request an internal rejection of Guan Gu’s answer
p>Guan Gu: You, Lu Ziqiao, why did you reject my answer? I tell you, if my room becomes a chess and card room, I will definitely let you commit suicide!
Lu Ziqiao: Stop arguing, stop arguing, let me think about it, let me think about it... I understand! It was a pregnant woman who happened to be bitten by a mosquito when she was giving birth!
Tang Youyou: The answer is correct!
Zeng Xiaoxian, Lu Ziqiao Guangu: Yeah!
Tang Youyou: The score on the court is 15:15, both sides are tied
Hu Yifei: This is nothing, no one has ever tied with me
Tang Youyou: Don't be anxious, I have already prepared... Overtime
Zeng Xiaoxian, Lu Ziqiao Guangu: Uh...
Tang Youyou: Each side has two minutes to answer questions. One point is added for correct answers, one point is deducted for wrong answers, and no points are awarded for skipping. Do you understand?
Hu Yifei: I like the feeling of beating my opponent in overtime the most
Lu Ziqiao: Let me tell you, what I majored in in college is the study of lore
Zeng Xiaoxian: Brother, hold your chin when you speak
Guan Gu: Don’t talk about Zhang Wei We will never give up to solve the problem
Hu Yifei: You are sure to lose, do you want to gamble?
Zeng Xiaoxian: It’s strange, haven’t we been gambling all the time? Otherwise, what were we doing just now? It’s really six plus one
Hu Yifei: I mean, the stakes are bigger
Zeng Xiaoxian: OK, if we win, I want your... washing machine
Hu Yifei: What if we lose
Lu Ziqiao: If we lose, we will lose Zhang Wei to you
Hu Yifei: What do I want him to do
Lu Ziqiao: Let me tell you, the bet with us is not about what you want, but what we have
Tang Youyou: The Three Gun Team comes first. As a friendly reminder, the following questions are very wild... timekeeping ,start.
The first question, what animal can be stuck on the wall
Lu Ziqiao: cowhide
Zeng Xiaoxian: gecko
Guan Gu: Haven't you found the trick yet? If the gecko is the correct answer, will she have this expression... It's a seal!
Tang Youyou: The answer is correct
Zeng Xiaoxian: Sea-Leopard? !
Guan Gu: When I first learned Chinese, I often made mistakes. I couldn’t tell the difference between seal and poster.
Tang Youyou: The second question, the turtle is in its shell. He built a house, then got in again, and guessed a health product
Lu Ziqiao: Build within the cover
Tang Youyou: Correct answer... The same turtle demolished the house, and then Build a house, then get in, and guess a health product
Lu Ziqiao: New building, middle building
Tang Youyou: Correct...it's still the turtle, but it He demolished the house again, built another house, then got in again, and guessed another health product
Guan Gu: I'll build a new one
Zeng Xiaoxian : Brother, there is no such product at all, okay?
Tang Youyou: We don’t have much time
Lu Ziqiao: Let me think about it, let me think about it... Yes, Ju Neng Calcium
Tang Youyou: Correct
Zeng Xiaoxian, Lu Ziqiao Guangu: Yeah!
Tang Youyou: Next question, Yifei broke something when she was in high school, but she was very happy. May I ask what she broke?
Lu Ziqiao: Are you sure you want me to tell you?
Zeng Xiaoxian: Are you sure you are in high school?
Lu Ziqiao: Go ahead and say it
Tang Youyou: Of course not! Oops, it’s her 800-meter long-distance running record. If you answer the question wrong, you will be deducted one point, and you will receive a yellow card
Hu Yifei: What kind of question are these?
Tang Yuyou: Next question... Complete the following actions, look up with one eye and look down with one eye
Sekiya: What (Japanese) How is that possible?
Zeng Xiaoxian: Ziqiao, this is just a competition. If you have facial paralysis, you won’t be able to compete
Lu Ziqiao: I can’t turn over
Zeng Xiaoxian: Yeah, I understand
Hu Yifei: You can dig it out first, maybe it will work
Zeng Xiaoxian: Go away, give me a place, go away, go away, watch...
Tang Youyou: The above Look down, and look up the lower eyes, very good, time is up
Zeng Xiaoxian Guan Gu Lu Ziqiao: Yeah!
Hu Yifei: Where did you find these anti-human questions?
Tang Youyou: Three Gun Team, answer the correct object, answer one wrong question, get four points... Yifei, now It's your turn... The question begins. It sounds relevant to you all the time, but what is it that you can't see or find when you need it?
Hu Yifei: Relevant departments!
Tang Youyou: Correct! Excuse me, where does the slogan "One small step forward, one giant leap for civilization" come from?
Hu Yifei: What slogan, why have I never heard of it?
Tang Youyou: This, I don’t know how to remind you
Hu Yifei: You know
Lu Ziqiao: All men know this slogan, Yifei, how could you not know it?
Zeng Xiaoxian: I advise you to give up on this question
Hu Yifei: Next question
Tang Youyou: Four people are playing mahjong in the house,** I came but took away five people. Please tell me why
Hu Yifei: Because the person who was beaten was called Mahjong!
Tang Youyou: The answer is correct! ABCDEFG has 26 English letters in total. If ET leaves, how many letters are left?
Hu Yifei: 24!
Tang Youyou: Give you another chance
Hu Yifei: Wait, I know, it’s 21, because ET is an alien and it drove away a UFO
Tang Youyou: Absolutely correct, next question! There is something magical about Guan Gu, which is longer than all the boys here. What is it?
Hu Yifei: Huh?
Tang Youyou: This question is very simple. It’s a gift.
It's divided
Hu Yifei: Please give me some tips
Tang Youyou: Anyway, it is longer, and it is definitely longer than Teacher Zeng and Ziqiao, and Zhang Wei is the shortest
Hu Yifei: They...how do I know
Tang Youyou: You know...you have seen it... Just say it, just say it, three, two...
Hu Yifei: I don’t know what to say
Tang Youyou: It’s time... Sister Yifei, it’s a name, a name
Zeng Xiaoxian Guan Gu Lu Ziqiao: Yeah! Guangu is magical, Guangu is magical!
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