Four-person comic sketch script

Yan Hui: It's like throwing white flour down.

Luz: The grave is bigger than the steamed bread.

Yan Hui: Well is a black hole.

Luz: Thank you!

Luz: It's on Xia Zi Road.

Yan Hui: In Lower Yan Hui.

Luz: Since following the sage, our teacher has been out for a long time, traveling around the world, and we have been to many places. Where have you been?

Yan Hui: Too many, Vientiane, Laos, Bangkok, Thailand, Yangon, Myanmar, Bangladesh, India, Kolkata, Mumbai, New Delhi, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Turkey, Ankara, Black Sea, Poland, Ukraine, well, this. ...

Luz: Where else have you been?

Yan Hui: I forgot my words.

Luz: Forgot the words? All right. We have been there many times.

Yan Hui: Right, right, right.

Luz: We are ... hungry.

Yan Hui: Gollum!

Luz: We have nothing on us!

Yan Hui: Not a penny left.

Luz: You didn't, and neither did I.

Yan Hui: What should I do?

Luz: Tell you what, let's invite the host out, ask for some money and buy some food.

Yan Hui: Right, right, right. Let's have a master!

Luz: Please welcome the master!

The saint smoked a cigarette.

Sage (singing): snow ~ floating ~ ~, watching flying snow ~, dancing all over the sky ~, towering mountains covered in silver ~ ~, good schools ~, northern scenery ~ ~

Luz: Master!

Saint (voice trembling): It's snowing, not small ... (smoking)

Yan Hui: Yes, it snowed today.

Luz: Master, you have worked hard.

Yan Hui: Master, stop smoking.

Saint: Huh?

Yan Hui: I burned my hand!

Saint: Save it. ...

Sage (putting out cigarette, getting up): Look from a distance, look closely, and wave and shake. Some people say it's a gourd, others say it's a gourd. After a rush and adventure in the water, they bet by the river that it was a monk taking a bath!

Luz: Did you peek at the monk taking a bath?

Saint: Asshole! Ming people don't do secret things! I'm watching! It's all written in The Analects of Confucius.

Yan Hui: Right, right, right. (Write down)

Saint: My family name is Kong, and my nickname is Saint. With two disciples, (one refers to Yan Hui) Lutz and (one refers to Lutz) Yan Hui. Oh, no, (pointing to Lutz) Lutz, (pointing to Yan Hui) Yan Hui.

Luz: That's right this time.

Saint: Your name is hard to remember. (pointing to the road) I don't remember. Would you like some sherbet?

Luz: I want to call a civet. I'm afraid others will wronged me and cause SARS. ...

Saint: What nonsense! Well, we've been stuck in Cai Chen for a long time.

Luz: It's been a while.

Saint: We have traveled around the world for many years.

Yan Hui: How dare you!

Saint: I'm from the Tang Dynasty. I'm going to the Western Heaven to learn from the scriptures. ...

Luz: No, no, no. ...

Saint: Along the way. ...

Luz: You said it was Sanzang! Aren't you a saint? That's Sanzang!

Saint: Oh, right, right, right, I forgot.

Yan Hui: Cough!

Saint: I am a saint:)

Luz: Yes!

Saint: How can you refute this?

Yan Hui: Say it again, say it again.

Sage (cough): We are not the Tang Dynasty in the East, but Lu. ...

Yan Hui: Ah, yes, Lu.

Saint: Go to the Western Heaven to seek the truth …

Luz: Here we go again!

Yan Hui: Why can't you live without this?

Saint: Where is this?

Yan Hui: Cai Chen!

Luz: Chen, we are from Shandong.

Saint: Oh, yes, yes.

Luz: Brine for Brine ...

Saint: Ouch, yo, yo, yo, you can't mention this (if you want to fall to the ground, Yan Hui Lutz will help you).

Yan Hui Luz: Master, master, master!

Saint: We can't talk about bittern any more. We haven't eaten for days. ...

Luz: All right, forget it, forget it.

Saint: We are from Lu. We went to Cai Chen to get the real scriptures ... but we can't change that.

Yan Hui: What a mess.

Saint: I haven't eaten for days. Everyone looks like pancakes.

Luz: What should I do?

Saint: Do you have any money?

Luz: No!

Saint: Did you watch it again?

Luz: No, there are cigarette butts!

Saint: You hit me the other day when you smashed the golden flower. ...

Luz: You didn't take it back later?

Saint (to Yan Hui): Do you?

Yan Hui: No!

Sage: Flip! What is this?

Yan Hui: Here is the receipt.

Sage: Oh, it's no use. It was left by taking a taxi that day ... hey, here's an idea! (Pushing aside Yan Hui's fur coat) Good boy, be obedient!

Yan Hui: No, Master! (struggling) Master, no, Master! (struggling) There are so many people here, Master! (trying to struggle)

Saint (taking Yan Hui's fur coat): Hungry, we are going to do business. Let's sell this. Do you think anyone here wants it?

Luz: Let's see how to sell it.

Saint: Is this old dress all right? Sell it and make some money. ...

Luz: OK, it looks good. It is estimated that there are many kinds of clothes (in Beijing dialect, second-hand clothes are for sale).

Saint: There are clothes in Beijing! It sounds good to shout.

Luz: It's called Jingkou.

Sage (singing): This fur coat, originally pawned ~ ~ ~, is really oily and black, and the trousers are satin ~ ~ ~. After reading the noodles, turn it over and look at the packaging ~ ~ ~. This leather is nine-curved, which is better than screws. No matter how cold it is, how windy it is and how snowy it is, put on my fur coat. ...

Luz Yan Hui: What's up?

Saint (singing): Sleeping in the ice and rolling in the snow, how can you forget the cold? ~~~

Yan Hui Luz: Fur coats are warm!

Saint (singing): I froze you ~ ~ ~

Yan Hui (singing): If you freeze again, you will die ~ ~ ~

Sage (laughs): Ah, yes, yes, yes, that's the answer, that's the answer.

Yan Hui: This is Jingkou's estimate.

Saint (holding Yan Hui's fur coat): Does it matter? Who wants it? Hey, you see, it's expensive when you buy it, but it's finished when you sell it.

Luz: It's worthless.

Saint: the goods die when they arrive, and the meat stinks. Isn't this over? Wait, give it to him if there is a buyer.

When the bell rang, a farmer got on the donkey.

Saint: (Shouting) Hey! I ate. Throw the fur coat under the donkey's hoof. Come down!

Luz Yan Hui: Get down! Get down.

Farmer: What are you doing? What are you doing?

Saint: (referring to leather clothes) You stepped on this!

Luz Yan Hui: Do something!

Saint: This is imported. It's over. You are pathetic.

Luz: What should I do? You tell me what to do.

Yan Hui: It's new. You stepped on it. What did you say?/Sorry?

Sage: Tell you, don't bully others either. Pay10 million and you can have it.

Farmer: Poor and crazy. this is ...

Saint: Hey, you curse this street!

Farmer: Don't scold. ...

Saint: Drink, don't you dare hit someone! (Three people besieged the farmer, and the farmer fought back, and Luz fell to the ground)

Saint: Dead? !

Yan Hui (sniper sniffling): I'm out of breath and dead!

The saint said to the farmer, you killed someone!

Farmer: No, I didn't call. ...

Saint: Who said that? I have a witness here! Where is the witness?

Yan Hui: I am, I am a witness!

Saint: I convince people by reasoning, you know? Go and see him and see if you have any money.

Yan Hui: (looking for farmers)

Sage: Hang it all, there is no king's law. This is not!

Farmer: Aren't you robbing? ...

Yan Hui: There is a penny!

Saint: Just a penny?

Yan Hui: Just a penny. Shall I take it?

Saint: Take it first. (to the farmer) Go, go!

Yan Hui: Let's go!

The farmer rode under the donkey.

Luz: Is that all right, master?

Saint: All right!

Luz (stands up): It hurts me.

Yan Hui: Thanks a lot.

Saint: That will do. The first step towards a well-off society. Rich?

Luz Yan Hui: Rich.

Saint: What should we eat?

Luz Yan Hui: That's right! I am really hungry.

Saint: I just smell it. Hey, what's that smell?

Luz: Roast duck?

Saint: Let's eat! Is this the right way?

Luz: It's this way. Boss, what do you sell?

Worker A: This is a cesspit!

Saint: What is your nose?

Luz: I smelled it wrong. I smelled it wrong.

Saint: Can you smell the roast duck in the manure field?

Yan Hui: That won't do.

Saint: I smell a strong smell here?

Yan Hui: Oh, Brazilian barbecue.

Saint: Our side, our side.

Saint: Shopkeeper, what is this for?

Worker B: This is the headquarters of the manure field.

Santa Cruz Yan Hui: Wow ~ ~! ! !

Saint: Where are all these dung fields?

Luz: No, no, no. Hey, this is it!

Saint: OK, this way. Boss, come out! Come out!

Manned (the farmer who hit the donkey just now): Hey, here we are. Third, what do you want to eat?

Saint: It looks familiar.

Shopkeeper: How do these three look familiar to me?

Saint: What do you sell here?

Shopkeeper: We have? We have steamed mutton, steamed bear's paw, steamed deer's tail, roast duck, roast chicken, roasted goose, cooked pig, cooked duck, sauced chicken, bacon, pine flowers, small belly, dried meat and sausage. ...

Saint: Stop! What's the name of the newspaper? Let me ask you, is there a stewed donkey's head here?

Shopkeeper: Well, my father rode out.

Oh, my God. Oh, this is the man riding a donkey just now, their home, huh?

Luz: This is their home.

Saint: What else do you sell? What's cooking in that pot?

Shopkeeper: What is cooked in the pot is Yuanxiao.

Saint: Yuanxiao? how much is it?

Shopkeeper: Ten for a penny.

Saint: Ten? Let's have ten.

Shopkeeper: That can't be divided, you three.

Saint: Why don't you give points?

Shopkeeper: How about twelve o'clock? Four each.

Saint: No, ten, my four, all three of them!

Shopkeeper: OK, this Japanese! (Lantern Festival)

Luz: Hurry up. Boy, I'm hungry!

Saint: Eat and go, his father will be back soon! Hey, boss, what kind of stuffing do you have?

Shopkeeper: OK, you haven't eaten for a long time? sugary

Saint: It's full of sugar. How much is your soup, Yuanxiao soup?

Shopkeeper: Soup, soup is free.

Saint: Free? Okay, have a bowl.

Luz Yan Hui: Tang Sheng Tang Sheng! Let's go Let's go

The shopkeeper brought the soup.

Saint: Oh, this small bowl can't solve the problem. Please change it to a bigger one!

Luz Yan Hui: Let's switch, too. Come on!

The shopkeeper brought a big bowl. Everyone drank it.

Saint: Let him pay the bill.

Luz: OK. (to the shopkeeper) Give the money!

Shopkeeper: Who gives money to whom?

Luz: (handing the shopkeeper a penny) Don't tell anyone!

Saint: Did you ask him for money?

Luz: I gave him money!

Saint: Hi! Confused!

Luz: What's the matter?

Saint: He paid our bill! Go! Tell him to go!

Luz: Bring it! Give it to me! (Grabbing a penny from the shopkeeper) Come on, I got it!

Shopkeeper: What, there is no king's law yet?

Saint: You should know how to do business, ah, do you understand?

Shopkeeper: You have to pay for dinner!

Saint: Give money? Hit him!

Three people will be carried down.

Saint: Are you ready?

Luz: Solve it!

Sage: Sage convinces people by reasoning. Remember, the master taught you to be polite when you leave the world and enter it. Besides, you grew up with the master again today.

Luz Yan Hui: What?

Saint: thieves don't walk empty! I stole three bowls.