Finland's "anti-school bullying" project tells children: Never be a bystander.

"school bullying" may cause multiple physical and mental trauma to children, so it has also become a hidden worry for parents. How to prevent and deal with school bullying is believed to be a topic of concern to many parents. Some parents believe that prevention mainly depends on family education; There are also parents who believe in fighting violence with violence. Are these ideas feasible? The following introduces the experience of implementing anti-bullying programs in Finnish schools, and gives four suggestions to help bullying children, which are worth reading.

0 1

Bullying is largely related to bystanders.

In Finland, there is a KiVa comprehensive anti-bullying project specially developed to prevent school bullying. Kiusaamista vastaan means "against bullying" in Finnish. At the same time, it is also a pun, and its pronunciation is very close to the Finnish word "kindness".

The project will shift the focus from bullies to bystanders of school bullying's behavior, mainly through role-playing exercises and computer simulations, so that students can witness bullying, especially in the absence of teachers, and they must make their own choices-whether to protect the victims or others. After the end, students will get timely feedback and suggestions.

This project has four highlights, which are worth learning from.

1, it is very important to cultivate empathy.

First of all, school staff have clear guidelines and specific tools so that they can intervene in a timely and effective manner when bullying incidents are discovered.

KiVa includes a 20-hour seminar course in one academic year. The project covers three main topics, including: the influence of groups on bullying behavior, the importance of compassion in combating bullying behavior, and practical strategies to reduce bullying behavior of school children.

The project has prepared professional preparation materials for the school, including teachers' manuals, videos, online games, surveys of KiVa students and employees, posters, vests and parents' guides. Online anti-bullying games are attractive and easy to implement, and these tools make the anti-bullying work in schools conform to daily life and advance steadily.

In addition, the KiVa project is not only applicable to students and teachers, but also to parents. Before the project starts, the team will advise parents to accept teaching and participate in activities.

2. Simulate the bullying scene through the game.

The project will allow students to manipulate the virtual characters in the game through simulated games, and experience various bullying scenes that may be encountered in school through the characters, so that students can experience the helplessness of the bullied. When students meet school bullying, they will sympathize with and support the bullied, rather than stand by and watch.

In addition to simulating games, the teacher will also let students simulate bullying scenes in the classroom and give a vivid anti-bullying lesson with the reaction of onlookers. When children become witnesses of bullying, will they join in or watch and laugh?

The school found that KiVa's anti-bullying program worked well.

KiVa no longer only targets at individual bullies and their victims, but effectively controls bullying by paying attention to the whole class. It will educate children and individual victims and guide children to think about their personal orientation, thus reducing bullying in Finnish schools.

Based on past research results, the research team concluded that paying attention to bystanders is the key to successfully prevent bullying. For example, it is not enough to choose to stand with injured companions. We need to provide students with safe strategies. Therefore, KiVa not only pays attention to teachers, but also pays more attention to how to teach students, how to choose ways, when to do it and how to do it.

When bullying happens, adults usually don't appear, so children need to know how to take constructive actions when witnessing bullying. Therefore, KiVa not only teaches teachers, but also teaches students what to do, when to do it and how to do it.

Of course, the role of teachers is irreplaceable, and it is also important to report project bullying to adults. Through KiVa's online reporting tool, students can report bullying they have experienced or talk directly with the school team.

3. Let the students solve it by themselves.

When the bully is found, punishment is not the key. KiVa team has two strategies to deal with bullying, "face to face" and "non-face to face". The choice depends on the result of team discussion-whether Xueba has a tendency to change.

When the school notices the bullying incident, the staff will discuss it with the relevant students, including the victims and their close companions.

In addition to bullying behaviors found in schools, students can also report to teachers on their own initiative. When a student accuses other students of bullying, he can apply for a KiVa meeting. Teachers and students will first fill in a form to describe what happened and then negotiate the date and place of the meeting.

After that, the teacher will put this form in a special folder. KiVa teachers' team will regularly check the folders, and if necessary, they will inform the senior students' team that these students have been trained and know how to deal with such conflicts.

Meetings to solve bullying problems are usually arranged at the end of class. In an idle classroom, teachers, both sides and the senior student team negotiate with each other. During the meeting, both sides had the opportunity to describe their experiences. At first, the focus was on listening to each other's conversations. Then, the teacher invited both sides to reflect on themselves and think about what they can do if a similar situation happens next time.

The key is to let these students come up with solutions "by themselves" to avoid the recurrence of conflicts. Once both parties promise to implement the preventive strategy, the teacher will record it truthfully and the meeting will be over.

The focus of this meeting is how to solve the problem of bullying, not an insincere apology.

Based on evidence, KiVa aims to prevent bullying and effectively solve bullying incidents. Prevention is very important, but the solution can't be ignored, because preventive measures can't make bullying disappear forever. When bullying happens, the school will use relevant tools to solve specific problems.

Through online tools on the Internet, KiVa will continuously monitor the annual changes of some schools and provide annual feedback to schools on the implementation of the project and the results achieved.

4, less bullying, learning can progress.

From 2065438 to 2006, researchers from UCLA investigated the students in grades 4 to 6 in nearly 80 Finnish primary schools, and about half of them received KiVa intervention.

The results show that since the large-scale implementation in 2009, bullying incidents in KiVa schools in Finland have been reduced by about half-verbal, physical and cyber bullying incidents have been greatly reduced, and even the depression of victims has been alleviated and self-esteem has been improved, and the average academic performance of Finnish students has also improved.

Up to now, about 65,438+0,500 schools in 90% of schools in Finland have used the KiVa anti-bullying project due to the funding from the Finnish Ministry of Culture and Education. A large-scale randomized controlled trial involving 65,438+0,654,38+0.7 schools showed that KiVa reduced bullying incidents by 20%.

In view of the great success of the project, other 19 countries in the world are also promoting the project, including the United States, Germany and Britain. Schools in Italy, the Netherlands and Britain are testing KiVa in their projects, and the United States is also evaluating it.

02

What should children do after being bullied?

1, bullied children, the school rules can't leave the teacher's sight for too long.

Every school in the Netherlands has a response plan for bullied children, including graded evaluation of bullying degree, detailed early warning notice regulations and specific handling procedures. Once bullied, children and parents should report to the school and start a bullying treatment plan to protect the bullied children.

At school, teachers will also pay close attention to children's whereabouts. She can't leave the teacher's sight for too long, otherwise she must find the child in case she is locked up again. When interacting with classmates, the teacher will also pay special attention to prevent someone from deliberately isolating her.

2. You can't completely rely on the school and the parents of the other party, and communicate with psychologists to find the root cause.

School bullying programs can only be used under the conscious supervision of schools and teachers. If the school is out of control on the way to and from school or the teacher is negligent, the children will still be bullied. The school also realizes that it is difficult to have a comprehensive plan, so it will recommend child behavioral psychologists and experts to deal with bullying incidents. Parents and children will discuss with them to find specific ways to heal their children's trauma and get out of the state of being bullied.

Bullying has many profound and complicated reasons. It takes time, patience and the right way to deal with it and rebuild children's confidence. We can't treat a factor in a partial way in order to eliminate it.

3. Never use violence to control violence and accompany children out of the trough.

Principle 1: Never use violence against violence.

Experts in children's psychology and behavior say that violent methods are the worst and most ineffective. Many parents have a misunderstanding. As soon as they saw their children being bullied, they asked them to learn fighting, hoping that their children could fight back and improve their physical fitness and not be beaten again.

But it turns out that the effect of this method is not satisfactory. Many times, the bullied party is weak and unable to fight back. Even if you learn to fight, it is only a temporary relief. The most important thing is that fighting violence with violence cannot fundamentally solve the problem, nor will it eliminate the source of bullying, but it will cause more harm.

The way to end bullying is to stand up and build self-confidence from the self and psychological level.

Principle 2: Never isolate a child with love and protection.

Borrowed strength is not your own strength. Parents will stay with their children to protect them once they find that something bad has happened to them. That child will not be able to build up the ability of self-protection and may face the danger that he can't cope with all his life. Parents can't accompany them and protect them for life. If children don't get up where they fell, the shadow of being bullied will accompany them all their lives, and even they will be treated unfairly repeatedly when they grow up.

We can't isolate the child with love and protection, and isolate her from the group she should join. The acceptance and recognition of classmates is very important for the establishment of children's self-worth and cognition.

Principle 3: Cultivate children's ability to win people's hearts.

We hope that our children not only have the love of their relatives, but also have the ability to love others and win love. Therefore, we should cultivate children's ability to win people's hearts. Fighting violence with violence is sowing the seeds of resentment in children's hearts. People who hold grudges will not be happy. Only those who know how to love and can get love will be surrounded by warmth and happiness forever.

4. The most effective way for children to find a sense of existence and build self-confidence.

Measure 1: Build self-confidence.

Learning physical skills when children are bullied is useful, but not the most useful. The most effective way is to make children aware of their sense of existence and build self-confidence. To this end, we should support children to do more things they like, explore their hobbies and interests, learn more about their abilities and show them.

Emphasize and affirm her strengths and differences with her children. When children do something that makes them happy and begin to know themselves and the external environment, they will show an aura and self-confidence.

Measure 2: Understand the reasons for being bullied and show your position through protest.

We can talk openly with the child about his emotions and feelings, tell him the reasons for being bullied, and analyze where the danger and infringement come from. We can help them see the characteristics of others and teach them to stop using fists and abuse to express their inner anxiety.

Let children not be afraid of those people, ignore them or deliberately avoid them, stand up and face everything directly, and deal with different bullying violations in different ways. When being laughed at and ridiculed, you can communicate with them through language and express your position loudly and firmly. This is the first step to determine a child's confidence and boundaries, and it is also the first step to stand up.

Measure 3: Establish your own circle of friends.

Encourage children to make and develop new friends and have some good companions. When children have more and more friends, in addition to enhancing their collective understanding and acceptance, they can also go to school together and use the barrier of friendship to keep bullying out.

Measure 4: Turn an enemy into a friend.

Hostility often stems from ignorance and ignorance. Any provocation may be an opportunity, because it exposes the problem. We can let children show themselves in a provocative way, give answers and look for opportunities to break the deadlock, thus resolving differences. Therefore, it is necessary to increase children's mutual understanding and interaction.