There is a cross talk in Degang Guo that his daughter-in-law asked him to drink tea. He asked the host, "Do you want me to drink?" The host said, "If you are thirsty, don't drink." What is that?

cross talk "Talking about Learning and Teasing" Cao Yunjin Liu Yuntian

A: This cross talk is a combination of us. My name is Cao Yunjin!

b: yes!

a: I'm from Tianjin, and this is Liu Yuntian, who is also from Tianjin!

b: hmm

a: this teacher is amazing!

b: what's the matter!

a: tell me about others, why I cooperate with others and they can take me! If you walk with three people, you will have my teacher!

b: look at what you said!

a: I have never admired anyone since I was a child, but Mr. Liu is the second greatest man in the world in my mind!

b: so what is the first great man in your mind?

a: Ximen Qing, Simon and Jinlian

b: not you wait

a: that

b: which one! You can't mention this

A: That person's style

B: Okay, okay

A: Come on

B: Separate, two people!

a: you two have similar hobbies in this field!

B: I don't have this hobby

A: Great, good personality

B: Two different things

A: I admire you. Why do we cooperate? Because the relationship is good!

b: that's true.

a: to what extent are partners on stage and friends off stage? There's no way to describe it in words.

b: that's great!

a: I went to their house that day, but you weren't at home! Your father is at home alone?

b: why?

a: the old man has a hobby

b: what hobby?

a: good at playing chess.

b: yes. Good research.

a: where are you getting off alone with a chess book? I said don't lie! You can't play alone! Come on, let's do it! It's on the table. Well, this chess game was played from 2: 3 in the afternoon to 7: 3 in the evening, and a game was not won. In the end, there was only one elephant left in your father's place, and I had only one scholar left, so no one could play!

b: it's a draw.

a: a draw! I don't even know how to get off! One looks like a scholar. I'm stupid!

b: I can't get off!

a: your father twisted it and insisted on getting off

b: how can this happen?

a: let's go to Colombia! Elephants cross the river, your father is bad!

B: What's the matter?

A: Reach out, copy the image and give me a look! As soon as I saw that your father looked like me, I didn't mention it, so I just copied this gentleman. Your father looked like me, I was your father, your father looked like me, I was your father, your father looked like me, I was your father, and I was your father. At last, I was angry. As soon as I reached out, I copied this elephant and put it in my pocket! Your father can't look like me this time, so I can only be your father.

B: I'm your grandfather. Do you talk like that?

a: what a hurry!

b: can you take it easy?

a: that means playing chess?

b: you made it clear

a: that is to say, it's good to play chess, great teacher Liu!

B: What's the matter with me?

A: Idol in my heart, great person, easy to learn, a graduate of Peking University in 23, a real stinking hooligan with a diploma.

B: Wait a minute, wait a minute, whether it's a college student or a stinking hooligan!

a: college students, are you good? Educated, backstage, we little actors have unfamiliar words that people ask

B: Let's study

A: What does Teacher Liu pronounce and what does this word pronounce? I'll write it for you and write Pinyin. I know everything, and I know Oracle Bone Inscriptions Sanskrit. B: Me!

a: do you know them all? If a good learner has any words, look them up in the dictionary. There is a note on the ground. Pick it up and see what it says.

B: Are there any new words?

A: Learn well, perform in the countryside, and see what it says.

B: Are there any new words?

A: Learn well and go to the public toilet to pee that day! Stand still, I'm peeing, and I see a line on the opposite wall! Look up, look up, look up, look up, and finally there is a line on the roof!

b: what did you write?

a: wet your shoes! The cloth shoes are all wet! Smart and remarkable person

B: You really hurt me. I said

A: I said you have a good personality. B: I didn't say that. A: Just kidding, that's what crosstalk performers have to do. When they talk and laugh, everyone is happy and happy. Crosstalk actors talk about learning and singing in four lessons, and it's not easy to do each one. Let's take this as an example! Keep your mouth clean, and you can't speak crosstalk if there is something wrong with it. Lickitung lisps and says crosstalk is in trouble! For example, there is a saying, spend 2 yuan to buy a pig to squeak and drink water, eat beans, pick up the wall and throw them out. Guess what with a squeak. B: What? A: Dead! It has to be so clear that every word has to be sent to your ear. You can't corrupt it.

B: It's so clear.

A: There is something wrong with your mouth. I can't talk about it. Lickitung says it's troublesome.

B: What's it like?

A: I spend 2 yuan to buy a pig to squeak water and eat beans, then throw it at the wall, and guess how it will die with a squeak.

B:: This is impossible.

A: You can't talk if there is something wrong with your mouth. In fact, we should study language. Our language on the stage should be civilized and clean, and we should not talk nonsense. We should pay attention not only on stage, but also off stage. We must be measured, or we will make jokes if we don't pay attention.

B: We have made jokes.

A: Let's take last night for example! There are a few friends at home, and there are eight of me. I don't want to eat at home, but eat out! I found a big restaurant and asked for a big table of dishes, including chicken, duck, fish and everything.

B: Quite a lot.

A: I asked for a turtle soup, which is tortoise soup.

B: Wait a minute.

A: This tortoise weighs more than 2 kilograms!

b: you take a break

a: one meter and eight big

b: who's going there? don't compete with this!

A: Big tortoise soup. I was in a hurry to bring it here. I picked up this spoon and filled it with soup.

B: How about it?

A: It's delicious! How fresh! The waiter next to me praised the soup for being easy to talk about! Sir, this bastard drinks soup! Work, work, divide this soup, divide this soup, don't just divide the soup, isn't there meat? Divide this meat, too, or you'll have eggs! Divide the egg, too. When he heard me tell him to divide the egg, he spoke again.

B: What did he say?

A: I'm sorry, sir, you can't divide the egg. You eight people are seven bastards.

B: You are so talkative.

A: I'm still lying in the hospital with this punch! If you can't talk, you'll make jokes.

B: That's right.

A: You have to study what you say, and it's not easy to learn. You learn a lot, flying in the sky, running on the ground, floating in the water, jumping in the grass, yelling at people from all provinces, all of which are within our learning scope.

B: Can you learn all of them?

A: Of course.

a: let me ask you, what has the fastest mouth in the world

b: fast mouth

a: the fastest mouth

b: if you ask me, this swallow has the fastest mouth

a: no, toad has the fastest mouth! Xiaoyan's mouth is slow and the toad's mouth is quick

B: No, we Xiaoyan's mouth is quick

A: No, the toad's mouth is quick

B: Xiaoyan's mouth is quick

A: You're just trying to wrangle! Toad is quick-tongued.

B: Let's stop being melodramatic. How about a game later?

A: How?

B: Tell you what! Let's count from one to ten to see who is quick-tongued.

A: Let's count from one to ten to see who is quick-tongued. You come first.

B: I will imitate the swallow's voice.

A: I will imitate the toad.

B: Listen

A: You come

B: More than 1234567891.

B: Why do you care? Swallows talk fast.

A: Listen to me, toad! 25

b: 25! This also has addition! That's a hundred

A: 25, 25, 25, I can count to 1,, 25,

B: That's it.

A: Toad, be quick!

b: it's you with addition!

a: you have to study and learn, and it's not easy to speak, learn and amuse. Those who speak cross talk have to amuse, and if they don't amuse, it's not called cross talk, and it will amuse you! But you see that we are funny on the stage, but we are not funny under the stage, and we are not completely satisfied under the stage, and we also have troubles in our hearts!

b: what's the matter with you

a: there's something weird, let's take this morning for example! I'm lying at home! Usually busy with performances, I want to sleep in today! Go to this performance at night and lie at home.

B: Take more rest.

A: My daughter-in-law is a wicked bitch.

B: Don't say that.

A: I woke up early at 8: 3! What do you say you should do when you wake up? You are messing with me!

B: What's wrong with him?

A: He teased me. Hey, it's time to get up. You can't afford to get up. You can't afford to get up. As soon as I heard this, I was furious.

B: You must be crazy.

A: You are so hard-spoken and you must be crazy! Die! I kicked you to death, I got up, I seemed to get up, I was tired, I seemed to remember, I didn't seem to remember, I got up in the dark? I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up. Who are you scolding?

a: scold my daughter-in-law?

b: why did you scold your daughter-in-law?

a: it's an inch. do you care if I scold my daughter-in-law?

b: scold

a: don't you care?

b: I don't care. I don't care if I talk too much.

a: I want you to tell me whether I can get up or not.

b: I want you to tell me! You can get up if you want, and then go to sleep if you don't want

A: My daughter-in-law also said that you can get up if you want, and then go to sleep if you don't want

B: No, wait! Who said that?

a: my daughter-in-law.

b: it's the same as I said.

a: inch, inch, I caught up! Don't you think it's over when I get up? Still looking for me, finding fault! I'm sitting there. What about luck there? Bring a cup of tea, take two sips

B: Let you have some water

A: Do you drink, do you drink, do you drink, do you drink, as soon as I hear this, I get angry

B: It's time to go to the hospital

A: You are so hard to talk, you must be crazy! Die! I kick you to death, I drink, I seem to drink, I'm tired of drinking, I seem to want to drink, I don't want to drink, Wang Zi of Shanxi Province, I drink two drinks three drinks, I drink, I drink, I drink your grandmother's grandson < P > B: What do you mean, who are you scolding? < P > A: Who are you scolding my daughter-in-law?

b: why are you coming at me?

a: it's inch. Do you care if I scold my daughter-in-law?

b: ok, you can scold!

a: I want you to tell me whether I want to drink or not.

b: yes, take two sips, but no, leave it there!

a: my daughter-in-law also said that she would like to have a drink or two, but she wouldn't, so leave it there!

b: wait a minute, come back! Who said that?

A: My daughter-in-law said that.

B: It's the same as what I said.

A: It's inch. Don't you think I'll be finished after drinking it? Still looking for me, he handed me the cigarette again. You smoked one cigarette, you smoked one cigarette, you smoked one cigarette, and I came up in a rage when I heard this. < P > B: Damn it!

a: you must be crazy to speak so hard! Die! I kick you to death, I smoke, I seem to smoke, I'm tired of smoking, I seem to want to smoke, I smoke, I smoke, B: slap your grandmother's grandson < P > A: Make my face pee < P > B: You're ridiculous < P > A: What! Why are you coming at me?

b: nonsense, you've been at me twice!

a: my daughter-in-law is in a hurry

b: ah

a: I want you to tell me whether I smoke or not! My daughter-in-law ignored me.

B: It's outrageous.

A: What do you say I smoke or not? Ah

B: You can ask later! Let me ask you first. After I'm finished, is there any daughter-in-law here?

A: No, I promise not.

B: If there is, I'll sit on your ass.

A: Can I not annoy you?

b: ok

a: do you want me to smoke or not

b: I want to say it! Just smoke two. What did your daughter-in-law say?

A: My daughter-in-law didn't say anything. My son came over. Dad, smoke two! Stop it, stop it, be anxious, blush with shame, isn't that funny? Isn't that funny?

b: oh! You want to give everyone an example.

A: Yes, give an example to make everyone understand.

B: That's what it means.

A: That's funny. It's all on display, and this singing.

B: Yes, A: Singing may not be well understood by everyone.

B: What's the matter?

A:.

a: generally speaking, no young actor can learn this thing now!

B: There aren't many meetings

A: It's almost lost. Fortunately, I'm still here, and I can sing. I can sing Taiping lyrics and sing the whole paragraph

B: Oh! You can sing the whole Taiping lyrics

A: I can't sing even short paragraphs and long paragraphs

B: Well, today, how about you sell your strength here and sing us a Taiping lyric

A: Thank you for your applause! For all of you, I'm here to sell my strength today. I'm here to sing a Taiping lyric, and I'm here to sing a short section of Taiping lyrics. A: Good < P > A: Drink water. B: Drink it later. Let him sing first. Thank you for listening. A: Knock melon seeds. B: Knock melon seeds. Do you sing

A: Yesterday, it was cloudy and the Weihe River was cold. The clams that came out of the water were basking on the beach, and the osprey dropped in the semi-suspension. The eagle brazed the clam meat, which was unbearable. The clams were fanned by the wings of the eagle's mouth, and a fisherman came to the south. One of them came to the shore. He said that he was so happy that he was really happy. When he caught the clams, he drank wine, and the osprey was so happy. Why don't you go to the sea, I go to the mountains, you go to the sea to drink Tianshui, and I go to the mountains to be happy and safe? That's why snipes and mussels compete for profits, and it's easier for you to stretch your head than to retreat. < P > B: Good, really good. < P > A: I'm not good at singing, and I'm just learning a little fur. < P > B: Not bad, not bad, not bad. < P > A: But I can sing. You are like this, and you have a shortage of this!

b: why don't you mention me? I'm talking about you.

A: It won't work, it won't sing, and my voice won't work! Singing is not in the right tone, not only can't sing, but fart is not in the right tone!

b: what are you talking about?

a: I can't listen to it. As soon as he sings it, it's "Bu". I'm not bullying him. Look at his face. It's like a Beijing bar standing up! I'm not happy to cooperate with him! Cover your face next time you go on stage.

B: There's nothing like Cao! Don't do this to me. You're a pout, you know that?

a: can I pout at you?

b: do you know that people pout on stage? I have to sing this sentence to you today.