Li Zhenxi: Family education is not "family teaching".

Education is not to make children look down on themselves, but to make them proud of themselves; Not to make children feel inferior, but to make children proud.

good morning, everyone!

I quite agree with Mr. Fu Guoliang's question just now: "Why can't our family education cultivate normal children?" His question was derived from the famous "Qian Xuesen's Question".

But I want to say that "Qian Xuesen's question" is still problematic: "Why can't our education produce outstanding talents?"

This regards "people" as a pure tool, because "talents" are used by people (countries).

As a social person, of course, it has the attribute of "tool", and cultivating talents is also one of the functions of education, but education should not only cultivate tools, but also focus on "people" itself.

It has been suggested that we should ask, "Why can't our education produce outstanding people?"

and "cultivating outstanding people" first lies in good family education.

When it comes to the disadvantages of family education, more and more people have questioned a once popular saying:

"Don't let children lose at the starting line."

But if we give new meaning to the "starting line", this statement is tenable.

In my opinion, a child's "starting line" is not his first step in learning, but his initial family education, and the main body of family education is his parents.

so I say-parents are the best "starting line" for children!

which is more important, school education or family education?

This question is raised today, and the answer is basically uncontroversial, of course, it is family education. I once told my parents that school education is very important, but no matter how important it is, it is only an important supplement to parents' education.

We should not always think that "gifted students" are all educated by teachers.

When we talk about Fu Cong, we will think of Fu Lei, the father of piano master, instead of thinking: Who is his primary school teacher? Who is the middle school teacher? Fu Cong is certainly a masterpiece of his parents' family education.

Let's not talk about outstanding celebrities like Fu Cong for the time being, let's talk about ordinary children! If a child is gentle, kind and polite, gentle and educated, we will naturally think that the child's family education is really good! Instead of asking, "Which teacher taught this child?"

because in terms of character, the most important thing for a child to be a man is still the family education of his parents. Similarly, a child's rude behavior, inconsistent words and deeds, foul language, lack of hygiene, laziness … can't say that it has nothing to do with school, but it has nothing to do with his poor family upbringing.

But now family education is seriously distorted.

It is embodied in: attaching importance to intelligence and neglecting character; Heavy science and engineering, light humanities; Pay more attention to knowledge than habits; Emphasis on words, light example.

every child is a reflection of his parents. It can even be said that all children's problems are parents' problems.

For example, the other morning, I came out to take the unit elevator at home. As soon as I entered, I saw a drink bottle thrown on the elevator, which was shocking. I thought, who is this so uncultured? When I got out of the elevator, I took the drink bottle away and threw it into the trash can. The next morning, I sent another drink bottle in the elevator. At that time, I was very angry and thought that it might or might not have been thrown by that person yesterday. Maybe the kid threw it. However, even if children throw it, the responsibility lies with their parents, and it is their family education that has gone wrong, making the children so ill-bred!

However, some family education seems to only focus on children's "early intellectual development", "interest cultivation" and "potential development" ... In short, it is trying to make children "smarter" instead of focusing on personality cultivation. Therefore, we must make it clear to all parents that family education is not "family teaching".

I thought about the evolution of the word "tutor". Now we often see college students advertising in the street: "English tutor", "math tutor" and so on.

what does "tutor" mean here? It is the abbreviation of "tutor", which means they are willing to come to their children's homes to be English tutors, math tutors, and so on. Here, "tutoring" refers to knowledge.

When I was a child, "no tutor" was a curse, and it was very cruel. If anyone scolds anyone, "You have less tutoring!" The other party will definitely jump up and reply more fiercely: "You have no tutor!"

Because at that time, "family education" was short for "family education", and its meaning pointed to virtue.

When you say "no tutor", it means "your parents didn't teach you well and didn't teach you to be a man", which means not only scolding each other, but also scolding their parents.

So, from the evolution of the meaning of the word "tutor" over the past decades, we can see how abnormal changes have taken place in family education!

So, what is the real "education"? I want to share with you the comments of three famous people.

This is Jaspers' exposition of education in what is education:

"Education is the education of human soul, not the accumulation of rational knowledge and cognition. ..... If anyone simply limits himself to learning and understanding, even if his learning ability is very strong, then his soul is lacking and unsound. "

IELTS Bells clearly points out here that education is related to the soul, not "the accumulation of rational knowledge and cognition". But there are just too many people who are "very capable of learning" but their souls are "lacking and imperfect". For example, what Professor Qian Liqun called "absolute exquisite egoist".

At the beginning of the new semester in 27, 85, teachers in France received such a letter at the same time. The writer was not an educator, but he had his own thoughts and understanding of education. He said that he was full of faith and passion and wanted to talk to teachers about children and their education.

in this letter, he talked about the purpose of education. He raised a question: What kind of people should children be made?

In the writer's view, children should be "free people, people who are eager to know good things and great things, people with good hearts, people who are full of love, people who think independently, people who tolerate others, and people who can find jobs and make a living from their labor".

You see, there are so many factors, none of which are related to knowledge. It's not that knowledge is outside the scope of education, but that fundamentally speaking, education goes beyond knowledge and points to personality.

Especially the last sentence made me feel: "At the same time, he is a person who can find a job and make a living from his labor." In other words, our children should be self-reliant workers in the future. I thought of a sentence that my teacher often told us when I was a child, but now my teacher seldom says it: "Love the working people!" "

On the contrary, some parents and teachers now like to reprimand their children like this: "If you don't study hard, you will have to sweep the streets and pedal tricycles in the future!"

who wrote this letter? It was Sarkozy, then president of France. As a western politician, he certainly has many differences with us, but in the understanding of education, it should be said that there is something in common.

The theme of Sarkozy's letter is "Rebuilding Schools". The so-called "rebuilding the school" is not to tear down the school building and rebuild it, but to reaffirm the mission of education.

He wrote: "To cultivate appreciation of truth, goodness, beauty, greatness and profundity, and disgust of falsehood, evil, ugliness, smallness and mediocrity, this is what educators undertake for children, this is the best love for children, and this is respect for children."

do our children appreciate "truth, goodness, beauty, greatness and profundity"? Do you hate "false, evil, ugly, insignificant and mediocre things"? It is worth thinking by every educator, including the parents of children.

The last paragraph was said by the great Suhomlinski-

* * * The wise and true humanistic spirit of the capitalist education lies in finding the unique source of creative labor in everyone (everyone without exception), helping everyone to open their eyes and see themselves, so that he can see, understand and feel the spark of human pride in himself, thus becoming a spirit. ..... People's full performance, which is not only the happiness of society, but also the happiness of individuals.

This passage is rather long, so I won't read it, but just talk about my interpretation.

The meaning of this passage is that education is to help every child discover his unique advantages and let him "open his eyes to see himself" instead of simply worshipping others. Let the children believe that I have pride and dignity that others don't have. This is education.

Education is not to make children look down on themselves, but to make them proud of themselves; Not to make children feel inferior, but to make children proud.

Well, with a correct understanding of education, I would like to make four suggestions to parents:

First, set an example for children's personality; Second, be a close friend of children; Third, read good books with children; Fourth, form good habits with children. Let me briefly explain them one by one.

first, set an example for children's personality.

When I was a principal, I said to my teachers:

"The best management is demonstration, and the best education is infection."

this statement also applies to family education. What kind of person do you want your child to be, you should be that person first! Think about it. Do we believe what we tell our children? What we want children to do, shall we do it?

If we give our children something we don't believe, how can we expect them to be sincere? If we make demands on our children and we don't want to do them ourselves, how can we expect our children to do the same? There is a mean saying on the Internet that some parents know that they are a pool of mud. What qualifications do they have to "hate iron and not produce steel"? This is ugly and harsh, but it makes sense.

I said this sentence: "If we demand ourselves by demanding our children, we will be very remarkable!"

I once told some teachers and parents:

You want your children to be kind. Are you kind? You want your child to be upright. Are you upright? You want sunshine for your children, do you want sunshine? You want your child to be strong. Are you strong? You want your child to have perseverance. Do you have perseverance? Wait a minute. Let's think about what we have asked our children to be human beings, and then we can seriously implement these requirements. We can simply be called' saints'!

so I said, the so-called "education" means what you want your children to have, and you have to have it first.

Not long after I became the principal of Wuhou Experimental Middle School in Chengdu, I saw a scene at the flag-raising ceremony: children lined up neatly and looked solemn, how lovely! Then how do the teachers stand? It's like this: there is no queue, one in the east station and one in the west station, and some are still chatting behind the student queue.

There will be a regular staff meeting the next afternoon. I said to the teachers:

"Teachers, think about it, is it shameful to attend the flag-raising ceremony? If it is not shameful, why don't we take part in it seriously? If it is shameful, why should we let students do shameful things? How much patriotic education we have given our students! How much I have said about the significance of the flag-raising ceremony! Students were also warned to take the flag-raising ceremony seriously, to stand upright, not to talk, to be solemn, and so on. But why can't we do these things for students? What is the conscience of education? Teachers can do what students can do, and they should do better. "

This is a photo I accidentally took in the primary school attached to Wuhou Experimental Middle School. Except Monday, our flag-raising ceremony is usually held in the classroom. In the music of the national anthem, the children hold a flag-raising ceremony against the national flag above the blackboard.

It was one morning. I was patrolling the campus. On the second floor, I saw a late child running on the playground in the distance. Running and running, he suddenly stopped, stood straight in front of the national flag, and lifted his little head. I listened carefully. Oh, the national anthem sounded and the flag-raising ceremony began. What a lovely child!

Teachers, think about it. If you were there, could you do it? Many times, we adults are actually not as good as our children!

I said to the teachers, "The best management is demonstration, and the best education is infection. Starting from the flag-raising ceremony next week, except for the head teacher standing next to the class queue, all the teachers stand in a queue alone, standing in the middle of the whole school, let us be a model for the students! "

Since then, before every flag-raising ceremony, teachers consciously face the flag-raising station in the middle of the playground and obey the physical education teacher's command: "Attention, all teachers, be at ease and stand at attention! Look forward! " After the teacher stood in line, the PE teacher shouted to the whole school: "All the students have it, stand at attention, be at ease, stand at attention!" Students on both sides, turn left and right-look at the teachers! " All the students turned around, facing the teacher, comparing the teacher queue and adjusting the formation.

"look up to the teachers!" Magnificent and meaningful pun. This sentence tells the whole "secret" of education-in a sense, the so-called "education" means that teachers have the confidence to say to their students, "Look up to me!"

This is the flag-raising ceremony I took for teachers in different years, including spring, winter and summer, but the teachers stood upright. Up to now, the flag-raising ceremony of Wuhou Experimental Middle School has been great.

The example I'm talking about here belongs to school teachers, but it can also be applied to parents' education of their children. Effective family education is still "look to me", and parents can be role models for their children, otherwise there will be no education.

Second, be children's bosom friends

I advocate that parents can have a talk, a walk and a lamp with their children every day.

The so-called "a talk" means chatting with children, the so-called "a walk" means walking with children, and the so-called "a lamp" means reading under the parent-child lamp.

All these are communication with children and win their trust. When children whisper to you, your education begins to succeed.

Parents should think more from the perspective of children, and even turn themselves into children to some extent. Every parent asks himself, do my children and I have the same hobbies?

For example, do you have the same reading materials as children? Watch the football match with the children? Do you surf the internet with children? Do you have a favorite star with your child? Wait a minute.

Be sure to keep it with your children *