Inferiority is a chronic disease

Inferior self-esteem is a chronic disease that often recurs. Therefore, each of us has a long way to go to fight against low self-esteem. Below, I will give you some examples of times when low self-esteem occurs.

1. Seeing dazzling and successful people

In our lifetime, we always have to see many people who are much better than ourselves. If you always see people who are worse than you, then you need to reflect on whether your life is constantly sinking? If you often encounter people who lag behind you as you move forward, then congratulations, you are making continuous progress. You will feel inferior, but this inferiority can be turned into motivation.

2. See beautiful people

There are many beautiful people in this world, just like there are many beautiful scenery. Wouldn’t it be pleasant for you to see the beautiful scenery? This is the miraculous work of nature. It is a blessing to be able to see it with your own eyes. When I see beautiful people, I admire them with all my heart. Don't always compare yourself with beauty. It is not only the birthplace of low self-esteem, but also makes you feel depressed. It is also a waste of natural resources and a waste of a good time.

3. Seeing luxurious scenes (such as big houses, villas) and luxury cars

Women are particularly sensitive to houses. The reason may be related to their special need for a sense of security.

Men have a special liking for speed and power, so they have a natural admiration for cars, especially good cars. When we see a nice house or a nice car, we can't help but think of our own shabbyness, which makes it especially easy for us to feel inferior. The way to deal with it is to understand that this is a human nature inherited from ancient times and is excusable.

However, apart from solving the most basic housing problem, there is no need to spend too much energy on this issue. The so-called house is the scope of your daily activities. I watched animal programs on TV, and it was said that large beasts such as ligers and tigers each need an activity territory of tens of square kilometers. This is because they need to forage. Modern people in cities basically have ready-made food. Home is a place for sleeping and daily activities, so the home does not need to be too big.

Beijing once caught a thief who went to a villa to steal things and even slept in other people's homes without the owner noticing. Because this villa is too big, the owner cannot inspect it. It can be seen that if the room is too big, the actual use effect will be lost. It will just hire more people to serve itself and create a bigger pomp. And a person is self-reliant and takes care of himself, which is the basic morality of life. If a person has to rely on others for daily life, he is either extremely old and frail, or he is seriously ill. Otherwise, I think it is inappropriate.

4. Facing delicacies from mountains and seas that you have never seen before, the dining place is very luxurious.

This kind of moment can easily make people discouraged. From the appearance of a person's food, it is easy to judge the state of his life when he was young. Unless you undergo special training, your eating habits are like your childhood photo album.

However, even if you don’t know certain eating etiquette, it’s not your fault and you don’t have to feel ashamed. If you need to, you can deal with it by learning a little, and then practice makes perfect, no big deal. Moreover, I always feel that the way of eating does not need to be too delicate, the cooking process does not need to be too complicated, and the ingredients do not need to be too cruel. Eating something too weird goes against the evolutionary laws of the human digestive system and the cycle of nature.

If someone shows off their rank and value by what and how they eat, by where they live and how luxurious they live, ha! Then he has not completely distanced himself from the animal way of survival, and he still has low self-esteem in his bones. It's understandable if you're nervous about food and shelter, but don't let these feelings overwhelm you. You can't make a vow and decide that you will have better food and a bigger place to live than him in the future...

If this is the case, you will always fail in the face of this material challenge. Once you have figured it all out, you will be able to feel at ease in front of all the strange and dazzling substances you have never experienced before. You can admire and be amazed, you can sigh and be intoxicated, but you will not fall to your knees.

5. Facing jewelry stores and luxury watch stores

When they appear, they strongly squeeze our self-esteem. Because there are too many zeros after the price number, it looks like a bunch of overturned candied haws.

My strategy is usually not to look, although when I do, I don't flinch. I know I can't afford them, but I won't be dazzled by their sparkle. The essence of a clock is to mark time. In this sense, a 10 yuan electronic watch and a sky-high price watch have the same use value.

When I say this, some people must be very disapproving. They will say that you are a fox and you cannot eat the grapes. I'm not a fox, I can't eat grapes, but I know that no matter how sweet the grapes are, they are still grapes, not pears.

Whenever there are reports about where sky-high-priced mobile phones, sky-high-priced computers, sky-high-priced toilets, sky-high-priced pens are manufactured... I will be curious to find out why they are so "sky-high"? After carefully looking for the materials and studying them, the result was quite boring, just a large area covered with diamonds. Of course, diamonds on the toilet were not very reliable, so they were changed to gold. In short, these artifacts are not extraordinary in function, they are just the precious metals or gems we all know are attached to them. The purpose of staying true to one's identity is to show one's identity.

The history of jewelry is longer than that of humans. Diamonds were already crystallizing on Earth shortly after its birth. From this point of view, humans have to pay tribute to diamonds. The youngest diamond is 1 billion years old.

Unlike human beings’ fragile cycle of life and death, once a diamond is formed, it is immortal. This characteristic gives it a class character and becomes a symbol of status and wealth. It makes the distinction between noble and inferior, which needs careful identification, clear at a glance. In fact, no one can really own jewelry, it is just a temporary preservation. Just like a bank clerk, although he has handled a lot of money, how much does that have to do with you? After work, you still have to go back to your home and live your own life.

It is said that there is a slogan posted in the geologist's office - "Diamonds are just coal modified by pressure, and they are oxygen-deficient coal." It can be said to be true.

So, don’t be discouraged in front of jewelry. Speaking of which, it is more difficult to identify oneself now than in ancient times. The chiefs at that time were nothing more than putting towering feathers on their heads. When you become emperor, you have to wear dragon robes embroidered with specific patterns, and when you go out, you have to scatter loess on the streets and splash clean water on them. There are certain rules on how to dress according to your official rank, and you must not overstep it. All these external signs do nothing more than make the level clear at a glance.

Modern society advocates equality for all, but ubiquitous discrimination still stubbornly exists. They disguise themselves and use new forms to interpret ancient propositions. In the past, rich people wore silk and satin, but now all kinds of cheap chemical fibers can imitate realistic satin effects, so people had no choice but to create such a thing as famous brands. They are well made, but no matter how well they are, they are not worth the hefty price tag. So it is called the added value of the brand.

What is "added value"? To put it bluntly, most of the people who wear this kind of clothes are rich people, indicating a certain status. Once this kind of reputation is formed, the use value of these items takes a back seat, and the most important role is to indicate the identity of the owner. People in the past showed their status by wearing flower feathers on their heads, but modern people cannot put notes on their foreheads saying how much property they have and how high their status is. Some of them rely on famous brands to set off their status. This is The psychological appeal of a famous brand is needed.

Famous brands have become feathers for vain people to express wealth and status. Once you have these things figured out, you will have the confidence to avoid having your knees weak in the face of luxury. Or you can be a little soft, but then become firm and move forward boldly on your own path.

6. Faced with clothes that you can’t afford.

People don’t need to wear clothes that are too luxurious, too gorgeous, or too incredible. This violates the original intention of clothing. There will always be things that I can't afford. My method is to walk by quietly without even turning my head. Instead of setting a timetable for myself, I decided to earn a sum of money before a certain time and buy this dress. One cannot be the slave of anyone, certainly not the slave of a piece of clothing.

7. A gathering place for classmates from universities, middle schools and primary schools

Chinese people value the friendship between classmates, and classmates have a special title called "classmate". I like this word very much, it gives me a sense of remoteness and cuddling. The window will not be very big. A window can only accommodate one or two heads looking out of the window. They could feel each other's body temperature, and their eyes shot toward the clouds together.

Chinese people are nostalgic for the past, especially after they grow up, they first work hard on their own, and for a while they seem to be indifferent and do not communicate with each other. Suddenly, everyone emerged from the ground like mushrooms after the rain. They all gathered after spreading the word. At this time, their respective economic status, social status, marriage, etc., have different differences. They were all originally printed in batches, but now some are hardcover, some have wrinkled pages, some have exquisite bookmarks, some have been dog-eared and torn, and some have been taken. Reciting aloud in hand, some were almost sold to scrap collection stations...

On such occasions, most of the people who come are hesitant and satisfied, and those who are absent are mostly poor and down-to-earth people. There is a folk description: a young man who goes out stamps his feet and says: "If I don't make a difference, I won't come back to see my parents and fellow villagers..." In fact, if you think about it carefully, this statement doesn't make sense. The party is about friendship, not a competition in Vanity Fair. So even if you are just an ordinary person, you can still walk into the gathering place boldly and proudly.

In my novel "Female Worker", I wrote about such a woman. There is a scene like this in the TV series: She was the squadron leader of her class, then she became a worker, and then she was laid off. The classmates went to the teacher's house for a gathering, and she helped the teacher clean and work in the kitchen. When everyone arrived, she opened the door, but her classmates didn't recognize her, thinking she was the nanny hired by the teacher's family. Faced with that kind of embarrassment, she handled it calmly. Her classmates did not look down on her at all, but said they would learn from the squadron leader back then.

I don’t know if this is an idealistic description? I sincerely hope that the place where classmates gather is full of warmth, equality and friendliness.

Time is the experience flowing in the blood, and the story hidden in the tree hole of the soul. However, it will also easily flow out of your life attitude and get a response. As long as you no longer feel inferior, everything will be fine.

8. When you go abroad

When you go abroad, you see neat streets, clean squares, tall buildings, clear rivers, lush mountains, and clear blue skies. ...It is often easy to make people feel envious. It’s understandable that when envy goes too far, some people become inferior. I think it's okay to be envious, but other people's land will not be given to you to live in. Therefore, it is better to directly transform envy into motivation to fight and do things well in your own country. You know, if you don't love your own country, other countries won't love you. When you become a person without a country, you lose your belonging. The sense of belonging is an extremely important feeling for human beings. Without this feeling, it would be worse than a lost dog.

9. When being criticized by others, it is easy to develop a sense of inferiority.

No one likes to be criticized, but at the same time, no one can avoid being criticized. If we develop a sense of inferiority when we are criticized, then we will have to live under the shadow of inferiority almost every day. If you fundamentally admit that you are not a perfect person, and admit that perfection is an impossible state, then you will also admit that being criticized by others is normal. Accept criticism and don't generalize it. On this issue, I particularly support "discussing matters as they are".

For a long time, "discussing things based on facts" seems to be a derogatory term, as if it avoids the important and ignores the trivial, and is unwilling to dig deep into the root of the thought. In fact, for most things, it is better to discuss the matter as it is, especially not to expand the failure of one thing into the failure of a person. Treat temporary failure as lifelong failure. Criticism is just someone else's evaluation of you, not to mention whether the evaluation is fair or not. Even an impeccable evaluation only represents that person's opinion, and he cannot represent the world. Even if the whole world denies you (which is almost impossible), as long as you have confidence in yourself, things can change.

10. Being rejected by others, especially when you are falling out of love

It feels so uncomfortable to be rejected! I believe everyone has experienced this. When we make a request to others, there is always a beautiful idea following closely behind. Being rejected not only shatters our assumptions, but also triggers many unpleasant associations in us.

Do we think that the person who rejects us doesn't like us? Do you think we are unimportant? Does it negate our entire plan? Does he have a bad impression of us from now on? Isn’t it...

I believe that as long as you follow this negative path freely, you will definitely come up with thousands of explanations that will make you feel discouraged, and your pessimism will continue. , the swamp of inferiority is where icy bubbles emerge. The best way to deal with it is to recognize that others have the right to refuse and respond to rejection with a normal attitude. No matter what the reason is for the other party to reject your request, your other solution is not to turn other people's rejection into your own rejection.

Here I want to talk about lovelorn. If we can talk about other rejections on a case-by-case basis, this matter of falling out of love is really directed at you.

Broken love can generally be divided into two parties. One party is an active rejecter, that is to say, you actively choose to "lose" the other party. This kind of loss, because it is a decision you made after careful consideration, is relatively easy to accept. The most difficult thing to deal with is the one who is rejected. Many people are simply in danger. They don't want to eat or drink, and lose weight drastically. Of course, some people may overeat and gain weight due to this.

The Chinese tradition of being emotional usually involves loss of appetite, falling asleep with the head covered, and not thinking about eating. The boy's cheeks are sunken and his fibrous roots are exposed. The girl is as skinny as a stick and has a withered face. When some people abroad encounter this kind of moment, their appetite will become surprisingly good. They will eat steaks and hamburgers as if it is the end of the world. In recent years, when our Chinese people are in a mood, this type of eating and drinking has also increased. Therefore, in the diagnostic criteria for depression, sudden changes in appetite, whether it is a decrease or an increase, are listed in the category of abnormality.

Being broken up in love is a strong and painful rejection. People torture themselves on the grill of memories until the painful marrow drips out. However, please keep in mind that it is only one man or woman who rejects you, not all men or women. What you lose is your lover, not yourself. What the most tragic lovelorn experience is not the possibility of being unloved, but a profound "loss". He or she feels that he or she has lost the motivation to live, lost the recognition of others, lost the warmth of the world, and lost the ability to affirm himself...

List the above feelings one by one, lovelorn People might retort, Ha! It’s not that serious!

It would be great if you could put it this way. Loss is indeed terrible, but no loss is as terrible as the flame in your heart extinguishing. As long as you believe in yourself, all losses will take off the scary magic clothes and reveal your vulnerable nature. After the tears burst out, maybe a miracle will come.

11. Sudden feeling of discomfort

Have you ever felt uncomfortable suddenly? Feeling at a loss and not knowing where to focus your eyes? I immediately discovered that there were so many bad things about me. My pants were too short, my clothes were wrinkled, my tie was the wrong color, and my fingernails were too long. When I spoke, I sprayed out a star of saliva. I could have answered the question. I forgot all at once... All these unreasonable things are probably actually a deep-seated inferiority complex, triggered by a small trigger, disrupting our entire emotional compass, causing us to panic and exert ourselves. Not as good as it should be.

12. Thinking that we are responsible for other people’s troubles

When this feeling overflows, we often fall into deep self-blame. What do you blame yourself for? Sometimes it doesn't seem clear. Many times, we are completely innocent. But even if you understand intellectually that you are not responsible for other people's troubles, you still can't let go. You feel that you must have done something wrong somewhere, and because you haven't noticed it yet, the mistake is even more unforgivable. This feeling is very tortured. A friend told me that even if she was on a bus with a stranger, even if she was sitting in the first row and someone was arguing in the last row of seats, she would feel that she must have done something wrong, otherwise, Why would anyone be unhappy?

I really feel sorry for her. She grew up in a family full of quarrels. Whenever a fierce conflict broke out, her parents would point their finger at her and say, without you, we would have divorced long ago.

All this is because of you!

Later, her parents finally divorced and she was sentenced to her mother. My mother's mantra is, without you, I would have married the person I like; without you, how would I have aged so fast... Without you, how would my body have gotten sick...

< p>These curse-like words deeply hurt her young heart. Over time, my friend felt that he was a sinner in the world and felt extremely low self-esteem. Any noise would startle her. Although she excelled in her studies and was friendly to others, she still felt that she was unnecessary and annoying.

Please remember that everyone is responsible for their own emotions. This is not only for yourself, but also for those who let others take responsibility for themselves. Especially as parents, if you have been wronged in the office, please don't vent your anger on innocent children. Not only did you bully a weak person, but you also gave the child a seed of inferiority.

13. Others

Any time you don’t believe in yourself and feel bad. This last one is like a big bamboo basket, all-encompassing. It seems to be aimless, but remember this sentence, when you really can't find the reason to worry, but you are depressed, depressed, bored, and negative, don't think that it is an accidental incident that cannot be traced, it is very likely There is a deep-seated inferiority complex that is red, swollen, hot and painfully inflamed in the soul. Inferiority is sometimes like a tumor in your heart. It exists quietly most of the time and does not bother you with pain. But it will grow slowly and quietly, and suddenly one day, it will turn cancerous and kill you.