Please let me know the cross talk lines earlier

It’s news tonight.

A: Good evening, viewers,

B: Good evening

A: Today is April 2012 Monday, March 30th, the tenth day of the fourth lunar month. Welcome to the Xinwen Lianbo program.

B: The main content of today’s program is as follows

A: Two crosstalk actors Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang from Beijing Hip-Hop Baozi Shop will hold a special crosstalk performance at Beijing Haidian Theater

B: The United Nations Millennium Development Goals high-level meeting was held at the United Nations Headquarters. The main topic of the meeting was to study and discuss whether Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang's cross talk characters meet the needs of the current market and whether they lead a new trend in the development of cross talk.

A: Heads of state from all over the world have sent congratulatory messages. They said in their congratulatory messages: The cross talk between Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang has made outstanding contributions to world peace and development in the past year. Especially affirmation of the shameless spirit of Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang. (Confident smiles of two people)

B: Celebrities from all walks of life arrived at the Haidian Theater and paid a 4-hour official friendly visit to Jia Zhang’s collaborative performance

A : Those who came to watch the performance today are

B: Obama

A: Bin Laden

B: Ban Ki-moon

A: Kazza Philippines

B: George W. Bush

A: Saddam

B: Kim Jong-un

A: Kim Jong-il

B: (looks at A)

A: (the two look at each other)

B: I am reading the list here

A : I am reading the list over there

B: People on both sides are very concerned about this performance

A: Especially the people over there are more concerned

B: They said that if the performance is not good, they will take Jia Xuming away without hesitation

A: (looks at B)

B: The main reason It’s because Zhang Kang doesn’t have a ferry ticket

A: (Look at A)

B: Let’s *** recall the period from January 1, 2012 to May 1, 2012 Please see the briefing for the main news content of the day.

A: Bi Fujian hosted the CCTV Spring Festival Gala for the first time. It was really different with Bi Fujian as the host. The stars of the Spring Festival Gala all showed the level of the Avenue of Stars.

B: In the Year of the Dragon Spring Festival Gala, Li Yapeng was the strongest man in history, because everyone from Qu Ying, to Zhou Xun to Faye Wong had followed Li Yapeng, and their voices became hoarse.

A: On March 20, when faced with the simultaneous price increases of Sinopec, PetroChina, and CNOOC, China Waste Oil made it clear that it would not follow suit for the time being.

B: Regarding this, the general public has raised concerns Praise, this is a responsible and conscientious central enterprise!

A: The Municipal ** Bureau informed that due to the increase in No. 93 gasoline to 8.33 yuan per liter, the traffic flow has dropped significantly, but the pedestrian flow has increased and the traffic pressure has increased. For this reason, starting from May 1 From now on, pedestrian restrictions will be implemented. Single eyelids travel on a single day, double eyelids travel on two days, single eyelids and double eyelids travel at night. Travelers wearing sunglasses will be treated as deliberately blocking the number plate. Blind travelers will be treated as having no number plate. For those who have had double eyelid surgery, they will be dealt with accordingly. Please tell each other and wish everyone a happy May 1st in advance.

B: The 315 Party revealed that many large companies sell expired food. In fact, we should not condemn them, but should thank them. They have helped us cultivate the indestructible body, Xinhua News Agency reported, California, USA More than 200 diners were hospitalized with diarrhea due to the use of unhygienic tableware in a restaurant. However, the diners from China not only did not feel any discomfort, but also participated in the rescue work. The American reporter present lamented that the era of the Chinese as the sick man of Asia is over. Come back, today’s Chinese people are immune to all kinds of poisons!

A: Look, the person who made leather shoe medicine just ate Sudan Red salted duck eggs the day before. The person who made Sudan Red just drank gutter oil the day before yesterday. The person who made gutter oil had breakfast. The breasts are all from Sanju.

San Ju Nai, who was taking clenbuterol every day, had diarrhea and was hospitalized, is taking leather shoe capsules at this time, don’t apologize, this is called compound, three-dimensional, leap-forward comprehensive management

B: If I want to eat jelly in the future, I will lick it with my own leather shoes. If I want to eat old yogurt, I will lick my leather shoes. If I catch a cold, I will lick my leather shoes. When I have money, I will definitely buy two pairs of leather shoes, wear one pair and eat one pair.

A: I can go to the hall, go to the kitchen, climb mountains, wade in ponds, make yogurt, and press capsules. In 2012, leather shoes are very busy.

B: Every day, we hear news exposing various poisonous foods around us. Occasionally, we see that the content of harmful substances is clearly marked on cigarette packages, clearly reminding that smoking is harmful to health. I felt inexplicably moved. The cigarette industry is still the most conscientious!

A: Heshen’s deeds have deeply touched the hearts of many people. People are chanting Heshen’s good example and vigorously promoting Heshen’s spirit. Groups of people who have learned from Heshen have emerged from various places. Pacesetter

B: The public's tolerance for corruption has reached a critical point. For this reason, the relevant departments have decided to significantly increase the public's critical point.

A: The central government decided to allocate 100 million to arrange for 40,000 bureau-level cadres to go back to the Long March. The news has been leaked, causing heated discussions among netizens. The people have expressed their willingness to play the role of the national army without any compensation. They also stated that they will never let a corrupt official reach northern Shaanxi alive.

B: If all European and American universities hold parent-teacher conferences in March next year, then next year’s Two Sessions may not be held.

A: This year, the candidate list that moved China includes Indonesia, Vietnam, Myanmar, Thailand, and the Philippines.

B: The famous military expert General Zhang gave a reference to the military strength of various countries. In the table, the first place is the United States, I can fight whoever I want, the second place is the United Kingdom, I will fight whoever the United States fights, and the third place is France, I will fight whoever fights me. Fourth, Japan, whoever attacks me, I will let the United States attack. Fifth, South Korea, whoever attacks me, I will exercise with the United States. Sixth, Russia, whoever scolds me, I will hit. Seventh, my country, whoever hits me, I will scold.

A: North Korea, if anyone messes with me, I will attack South Korea.

B: North Korea is really a strange country. As long as you are fat, you can become the leader of the country sooner or later.

A: North Korea is already poor and frugal, so the rockets it has built over the years have been released as if they were flying monkeys.

B: North Korea’s failure to launch a rocket tells us a truth. If you want to shoot without having enough to eat, you really can’t hold on for more than a minute.

A: Japanese tourist Keiichiro Kawahara lost and found his bicycle in Wuhan. He was deeply grateful to the people of Wuhan. In fact, it was nothing. When the photographer Mr. Chen lost his computer, the whole society helped him I found the photo.

B: The guy who lost his bicycle, I want to remind you that you have ridden in more than a dozen countries before losing your bicycle. Just be content. If your first stop is China, then you There is only one stop on your world tour.

A: Rui Chenggang asked Luo Jiahui: Mr. Ambassador, I heard that you are flying in economy class. Are you reminding everyone that the United States owes China money? Rui Chenggang’s question is reasonable, because the Chinese who owe China money All flying first class.

B: Food poisoning occurred in a primary school in Guizhou. It was revealed that the principal gave students rotten food. The principal was dismissed on the spot. It is not easy to be a primary school principal. University presidents will never be punished for feeding students rotten food. Removed from office.

A: Good medicine tastes bitter and is good for diseases. In order to solve the problem of bitter taste of traditional Chinese medicine, the Chinese Medicine Association decided to insert a tube into the body to inject medicine, because it will be very comfortable to have a tube in the body. Starting from the president of the Chinese Medicine Association test.

B: It is said that Guizhentang’s sales have increased instead of falling, because the time taken to extract bile from live bears proves that their products are genuine.

A: There is a young man’s girlfriend who asks him to leave a message saying “I love you” on a certain Sina Weibo post every day. As long as he keeps saying “I love you” for a hundred days, she will marry this young man. Seeing that I had persisted for 99 days, when I reached the 100th day, I opened Weibo and saw: Comments were banned.

B: Internet development plan, first, the comment has been closed, second, the comment has been closed, third, it is closed.

A: The Weibo rankings show that the second-ranked Weibo has been deleted by the original author, and the first-ranked Weibo has also been deleted.

B: The State Administration for Industry and Commerce investigated and dealt with an Olympic infringement case in accordance with the law. An underwear manufacturer in Zhejiang Province registered two trademarks first. Men's underwear is called Bird's Nest, and women's underwear is called Water Cube. What annoys the Olympic Committee the most is their advertising slogan "Same place, same dream."

A: 15 years ago, when I was in junior high school, the whole class watched Titanic together, and then I was very dissatisfied. Solution, Rose and Jack will get into the car, and the windows will fog up, and a hand will suddenly hit the window. I want to watch it again this time, but I heard it has been deleted.

B: iPad 3 was released as scheduled, and it supports ten languages, but not Korean. Korean netizens regretfully said: South Korea is a market that cannot be ignored. Why not support Korean? Chinese netizens said that Apple is still too stubborn to fundamentally eliminate it. It is possible that the apple was invented by the Koreans.

A: The battle between Fang Zhouzi and Han Han provides us with two points of understanding. First, Han Han is not a god, and secondly, Fang Zhouzi is not a human being. B: Regarding Fang Zhouzi, only the navy can deal with him, because water can carry and capsize a boat.

A: When Guangzhou Evergrande played against the Japanese Football League champion Baitai Yingshen, the fans. Holding up a slogan at the scene, the Diaoyu Islands are ours, and Sora Aoi belongs to everyone.

B: Sora Aoi endorsed Longjing for a huge amount of money. Netizens have questioned whether Longjing is green tea or scented tea.

A: Aoi. Both Jing and Longjing have the same tic-tac-toe, so we don’t know what the tic-tac-toe represents, because there are only two wells in both directions.

B: The following is sports news. , through unremitting efforts, Messi finally averaged more points per game than the United Arab Emirates

A: After several years of hard work in the NBA, Yi Jianlian has grown from an ordinary substitute player to an absolute substitute player. p>

B: Beijing both have basketball teams and won Beijing’s first Sino-Japanese men’s basketball final championship. Two people played the most important roles, one was Marbury and the other was Su Wei.

A. : Beijing fans finally gave up their years of scolding and changed their name to Su Wei. The City Government Club tearfully presented a banner to Comrade Su Wei in recognition of his great contribution to the civilized arena. Su Wei was cured.

B: Chinese football went global, stopped, and failed again. The fans calmly said that this was the outcome.

A: After watching the Chinese team play for more than ten years, the commentator said the most: There is not much time left for the Chinese football team.

B: On the issue of national football bonuses, the Football Association announced a few days ago. The plan is to enter the top ten, get 5 million, enter the World Cup, and get another 15 million. In order to have a greater chance of winning the 15 million, the players bought a welfare lottery.

A: Shu Qi. Deleted all Weibo. A person with 200,000 followers quarreled with a person with 4 million followers, forcing a person with 10 million followers to delete Weibo.

B: There are various places in Beijing. There are countless billboards and posters of various sizes to promote the spirit of patriotism, innovation, tolerance, and certification.

A: Shake the invoice on WeChat, which is a good social tool. It took only a few months for all Parkinson’s patients across the country to get to know each other and become friends.

B: I heard that China wants to build its own aircraft carrier. The most pertinent suggestion from the Ministry of Railways is that China is best to build only one aircraft carrier.

A: Beijing Li Yun will build an English-speaking hotel. People inside are not allowed to speak Chinese. In fact, this kind of thing is not new, because there is a precedent in China. People who work in big pants are not allowed to speak Chinese. The truth.

B: China's divorce rate has been increasing for seven consecutive years, with more than 5,000 couples divorcing every day. In order to control the number of divorced couples, Beijing will implement a lottery for divorce.

A: I just saw that Apple phones were burned during the Qingming Festival for fear that the ancestors would not be able to use them. The owner of the priest shop said that Steve Jobs had already gone down to hand them over, so don’t worry.

B: Because the price of cemeteries has increased significantly, many people have made it clear in their wills that they request to be buried standing up, with the upper body exposed, so as to save land and money for tombstones.

A: Another generation of people in China. When they were in elementary school, there was no money for college. When they were in college, there was no money for elementary school. Before they had a job, jobs were assigned. When they could work, they had to find a career. When they didn’t make money, they had to buy a house. It was distributed. When I could make money, I found that I couldn't afford to buy a house or marry a wife. Even a fool can make money before entering the stock market. But when he rushes in excitedly, he realizes that he has become a fool. They are always not in a hurry, and always live tenaciously after complaining. They are the post-80s generation.

B: Live in the most expensive house in the world, drive the most expensive car in the world, pay the most expensive fees in the world, burn the most expensive oil in the world, and drive in the most congested road in the world. On the road, they paid the most money in the world, avoided the most privileged cars in the world, were exposed to the world's most dense electronic eyes, and worried about the world's weirdest fines. They also lived with determination. They are Beijingers. .

A: The reason why many Chinese people don’t like Xinwen Lianbo is because they are jealous that the Chinese people in it live too happy lives.

B: Today’s news broadcast is over.

A: Thank you for watching.