The harm of puppy love among middle school students (the harm and prevention of puppy love among middle school students)

(This article was transferred from the Internet and played in some places. )

First, the harm of puppy love among senior high school students;

(1) Puppy love will inevitably invest a lot of time and energy, which will directly affect normal study and life. Puppy love greatly interferes with middle school students' study, making them unable to concentrate on their studies, unable to listen to what the teacher said in class, and unwilling to study after class. In particular, there are contradictions between the two, and you can't learn at all. Therefore, it will lead to a straight decline in grades and have a great impact on future development.

(2) Both male and female students in love are emotionally unstable and inattentive, especially when they are frustrated in love, which can easily lead to mental illness, unhealthy psychology and serious crimes. The attitude of middle school students is still unstable. They are prone to contradictions in love, psychologically immature, fragile and have poor endurance, and are easily hurt by emotional twists and turns. Some teenagers are depressed because of puppy love, and they doubt life and whether there is true love, which casts a shadow over their emotional life and affects their married life as adults.

(3) Puppy love directly affects the health of teenagers. A senior obstetrician and gynecologist said that women's premature sexual relations can lead to vaginitis and pelvic inflammatory disease. The physical development of boys and girls is not yet fully mature, and premature sexual contact is not good for their physical development.

④ Dress up in comparison and treat each other like blind dates. This will increase the financial burden of the family.

(5) In order to win the favor of the opposite sex and produce abnormal personality, he usually puts on airs, puts on airs, takes tone, or is "stupid".

(6) Disturbing the will and affecting the atmosphere. Directly affect the class spirit and school spirit.

(7) artificially narrowing the social circle of middle school students, so that it is limited to the world of two people, which is not conducive to the correct handling of interpersonal relationships among middle school students. Boys and girls are eager to be alone with their lovers. In order to avoid people's eyes and ears, they often tell me that there are no acquaintances and secluded alleys. They rely on their lovers and hate other people's interference. In the long run, this two-person world will gradually be divorced from the public, they will rarely communicate with most students in the class, gradually form a gap with the collective and classmates, and push themselves to an isolated position.

(9) Students clash or even fight because of jealousy. According to statistics, these incidents account for about 40% of disciplinary incidents. Middle school students' sexual consciousness germinates, they have a strong desire for the opposite sex, are easily excited, have uncontrollable feelings and act impulsively, and easily ignore the consequences of their actions on impulse, which leads to some deviant behaviors, such as unmarried sexual behavior and unmarried pregnancy.

Teenagers are in a period of physical development, so they are curious about everything. Parents must always care about their children to ensure their mental health, and then realize what happened in adolescence, so that they can grow up healthily. Parents or teachers should not be rude when they find their children in puppy love. They should let their children know the harm of puppy love through education or example, so as to establish a correct view of feelings.

Ⅱ. Thinking about puppy love;

Tao Xingzhi, a famous educator, once said: Everyone, male or female, wants to fall in love and live a family life at a certain age. But, just like the fruit on the tree, is it ripe or raw? Mr. Tao's metaphor is very appropriate. He vividly expressed the harm of puppy love among middle school students. With the progress of society and the increase of all kinds of temptations, according to the spot checks of urban schools in China by relevant departments, the "love" of middle school students has now shown a trend of younger age, universality and openness. 30% teenagers are troubled by "sexual problems" in adolescence, 19.5% teenagers fall in love during middle school, and 3.7% teenagers fall in love under 15 years old.

First, what is puppy love.

For puppy love, there is no accurate concept, and it is generally believed that middle school students fall in love is puppy love. If both men and women deeply understand the true meaning of love and have the ability to love, and can handle the relationship between love and school, and are determined to cultivate the tree of love to the harvest season, and promise and have the ability to fulfill the obligations and responsibilities brought by love, then love at this time is not too early. On the contrary, it can be regarded as puppy love.

The majority of teenagers are in the middle school stage, and it is not easy to meet the above requirements. Therefore, they generally have no conditions to get true love.

Middle school students' love is generally divided into three stages: one is the contact stage. They have a good relationship, but there are no deeper problems. The second is the like stage. Frequent contact is the rapid warming of feelings between the two sides. "If you don't meet for a day, you will be separated from Sanqiu. “。 Third, true friends in the sense of men and women. The two sides often make so-called vows of eternal love, and may make some deviant behaviors.

But associating with students of the opposite sex does not mean puppy love. When teenagers enter adolescence, due to the rapid changes in physical and psychological development, their emotions are prone to fluctuations, their activity ability is enhanced, their independent personality requirements are increased, and at the same time they have the idea of being willing to communicate with the opposite sex. These are normal phenomena, not "love". From the psychological point of view, the normal communication between boys and girls is beneficial and harmless. Boys are often strong, brave, fearless and more independent; Girls are more delicate, gentle, rigorous and resilient. Normal communication between boys and girls can promote complementarity, which is conducive to personality development and intellectual development (especially habit formation).

Some people say that because of men, women become more gentle; Because of women, men become stronger. Both male and female students who enter adolescence hope to be noticed and welcomed by the opposite sex. To this end, they will strive to change themselves and improve themselves, which is also the best psychological environment for self-development, self-evaluation and self-improvement (another best psychological environment is frustration) and a good opportunity to overcome their own shortcomings and weaknesses. Cultivating teenagers to establish healthy feelings with the opposite sex from an early age, so that they can understand and respect the opposite sex and establish a natural and friendly relationship with the opposite sex will lay a good foundation for their smooth entry into love and marriage in the future.

Second, the reasons for puppy love.

With the increase of puppy love, parents and teachers can't help asking, what caused puppy love, and why the teacher's inculcation is so weak in front of children? There are two main reasons for puppy love: the children's own reasons and the influence of social environment.

First of all, the child's own reasons.

Middle school students are in adolescence, which refers to the critical period from childhood to adulthood. Generally from 10 to 20 years old. During this period, people's physiology and psychology will undergo major changes. The physical changes in adolescence are mainly the sudden increase of height and the rapid development of body organs. The psychological changes in adolescence mainly include the following points:

1. Independent consciousness, but strong dependence.

2. Like to make friends, curious about the opposite sex and eager to be appreciated by the opposite sex. The opposite sex has a natural attraction to them.

3. Sometimes there will be rebellious psychology.

4. Sometimes there will be inexplicable melancholy, troubles and emptiness, and I don't want to tell my parents and teachers.

In view of the above adolescent characteristics, it is easy to go to extremes if the normal communication between boys and girls in middle school is not well grasped, which is puppy love. Often a very small thing can make a qualitative change in the relationship between the two sides. For example, an accidental wrong criticism by parents and teachers may arouse children's rebellious psychology. If a classmate of the opposite sex takes the initiative to associate with him (her) and cares about him (her), the relationship between the two sides will heat up rapidly, and the communication between the two sides will tilt in the direction of love. Therefore, when communicating with adolescent children, parents and teachers should try to talk to them as equals and friends, and give them thoughtfulness and care in time to make them feel love and warmth. Rousseau, a French educator, said: "Only by sincerely loving students can we shape their hearts with great care."

Secondly, the influence of society.

Modern civilization not only brings convenience to people's lives, but also brings more and more temptations to young friends. Relatively boring school life and colorful society, for inexperienced children, the probability of making mistakes is getting higher and higher. Internet, unhealthy books, movies, TV and so on are eroding children's hearts all the time. The students mentioned above were influenced by pornographic websites and embarked on the road of crime. Therefore, parents and teachers should try their best to prevent their children from touching these bad things, strengthen their supervision, and introduce and recommend some excellent literary and artistic works to their children, so as to cultivate their sentiments and purify their hearts.

Third, the characteristics and harm of puppy love

There are two main characteristics of middle school students' love: emotional instability and uncertain outcome. Because middle school students are still in their infancy and immature, their understanding of love is still superficial and naive, and they are unable to undertake corresponding responsibilities and obligations. When two people walk together, it is often a temporary enthusiasm and impulse, without considering the consequences at all, and only paying attention to the "happiness and sweetness" in front of them. As the saying goes, "Flowers bloom early and wither early". Puppy love is usually difficult to last, lacks commitment, and most of them have no results.

According to the statistics of a maternity hospital, in recent three or four years, 45% unmarried young women went to the hospital for induced abortion and early pregnancy drug abortion, and one sixth of them were girls aged between 13 and 18. Especially after the summer vacation, the number of girls who come to the hospital for induced abortion will increase significantly. Some girls drop out of school at the age of 15 to live with others. At the age of 20, when they took their two or three-year-old children to the court to dissolve the cohabitation relationship, both of them were under the legal age of marriage. Studies have shown that emotional entanglements can increase girls' chances of suffering from depression by one third. The results of this study can explain why young women are twice as likely to suffer from depression as young men in the United States and Britain, while lovesick boys are more likely to commit crimes and drink alcohol than girls.

Puppy love is mostly an irrational and immature choice, which easily leads to excessive fanaticism and obsession, thus directly affecting studies. Puppy love students' most obvious performance is inattention, and their academic performance drops rapidly, which leads to the deterioration of their relationship with teachers and family, and even affects their life prospects.

Psychologists' research shows that teenagers who fall in love before 17 years old can't cope with the emotional troubles caused by their first love, which will lay the foundation for suffering from mental illness in the future. A joint study by experts from Cornell University and the University of North Carolina pointed out that whether these teenagers really have a specific lover or are obsessed with idol stars, they may suffer from depression and alcoholism in the future because they don't know how to deal with this relationship. When puppy love encounters twists and turns-emotional transfer, quarrel, separation, etc. It is easy to produce extreme behaviors, such as double suicide, vicious revenge, running away from home, etc.

In addition, puppy love occurs in the period of sexual agitation in adolescence, and its self-restraint ability is weak. It is possible to have involuntary sexual relations under the temporary sexual impulse, and it is even more difficult to bear the serious consequences of pregnancy and abortion caused by this relationship. It is found that girls are more vulnerable to the emotional relationship between men and women than boys, both physically and psychologically.

It can be seen that if the problem of puppy love is not handled properly, it will bring great harm to the growth of teenagers!

Fourth, how to avoid puppy love?

Now that we have clearly realized the harm of puppy love, how can we avoid puppy love among middle school students? How can we overcome this immature feeling with reason?

First of all, young friends should pay attention to mental health, don't watch inappropriate newspapers, magazines and movies, don't go to unhealthy websites, and concentrate on their studies.

Secondly, strengthen self-discipline, set clear goals for yourself, and squeeze out selfish distractions with goals and ideals. Participate in more group activities and cultivate correct interpersonal skills.

Goals are the driving force for people to forge ahead. You can imagine what a wonderful thing it would be if you could enter an ideal university: all people who know me can look at me with new eyes; Fight for yourself, let parents have light on their faces; Receive the best higher education; Find a job that earns a lot of money; Enjoy the scenery of the metropolis. "Once a boring goal becomes a vivid imagination, it will naturally give people a feeling of enthusiasm." As long as you have enough self-confidence, the bright future will certainly be competent for selfish distractions that are not conducive to your growth. In addition, by participating in more group activities and getting in touch with people who are better than themselves, it will be easier to find specific goals.

According to Shandong Business Daily reported on March 20th, American primary schools should cancel recess. 40% of American elementary schools have cancelled or are canceling recess to cope with various exams. Children are nervous and have no time to go to the toilet, so they must get a "permit card" and have a meal for only 20 minutes. The competition in modern society is becoming more and more fierce, and people without knowledge will not survive in the future society. Americans, who have always been known for their light burden on students, are still so, let alone us.

Thirdly, as parents and teachers, we must treat children's emotional problems correctly. We can't help but pay attention to children's puppy love, and we can't regard puppy love as a "scourge". Once children are found to have signs of puppy love, they will be like an enemy and they will be punished like a storm.

Dr. Ogawa mentioned in the article "On Education": "Punishment and sanctions cannot achieve real education." Real education can only be based on respect and trust, as well as tolerance and optimistic expectations. "Whipping and punishment will free children from conscience and push them to the other end of education.

If children are in puppy love, parents and teachers should first care about their children, patiently persuade and educate them, help them analyze the pros and cons of the problem, correctly guide them to develop a normal classmate relationship, and pull them out of the abyss of puppy love with affection and love. When external persuasion or influence threatens people's self-worth, people will consciously or unconsciously protect their self-worth and make the opposite reaction to external influence. Parents criticize or deny their children from an authoritative position and don't give them face. Children may do the opposite because of self-worth protection, and deliberately get into trouble with their parents to show their self-esteem and strength. Therefore, to convince others effectively, we must save face for others and safeguard their dignity and value. If handled properly, it will not only affect children's growth, but also greatly benefit their mental health.

Every stage of life has its mission. Young friends, you are in the flower season of your life, and your life has just begun to be wonderful. If you don't sow in spring, you can't grow in summer, harvest in autumn and taste in winter. Never squander tomorrow today, and don't let the emotional boat dock too early.

Middle school students' love is a common problem in the process of teenagers' growth. On this issue, correct guidance will bring an unforgettable and brilliant youth memory, and if it is not handled well, it may have a negative impact on the life development of teenagers. At present, teenagers are in their prime, facing unprecedented opportunities and challenges. This background of the times doomed their colorful life experiences. More and more middle school students are beginning to be troubled by puppy love. This paper makes a comprehensive analysis of the psychology, causes and harm of puppy love among middle school students, hoping to provide some reference for students, parents and teachers.