Non-mainstream humor about your face, my insole

1. When I go home for the holidays, the local love turns into a long-distance love, the long-distance love turns into a local love, no one loves me or no one loves me

2. Why is spring green? Woolen cloth? Because winter cuckolded it

3. How many children have been harmed by exams, and how many honest children have learned to cheat.

4. Cheng Yaojin, as the name suggests, means biting other people’s gold.

5. Doing well in exams depends entirely on your deskmates.

- I told Fahai that you don’t understand love.

6. In the days to come, if you stay with me, I still need your love. Don’t let go of my hand. After walking this road, I will be with you. The colorful roof of your dream can keep out the rain.

7. Tell me? Do you still love me? If you say it is labor and management, get out immediately because labor and management cannot be scared

8. Thailand is rich in What? Of course she's a shemale~

9. Your parents should help you save the red envelope first. Is this the biggest scam in history? ! !

10. My sugar-roasted chestnuts have been chewing for a whole semester and I am almost biting them open

11. They say you are worshiping gold, but you are really worshiping gold!

12. -=It is said that a girl who likes to cross her legs like this must be a girl with a clear love and hate personality who dares to love and hate. Are you the same?

13. Get the test paper and be honest cold. I get nervous and forget vocabulary. It seems familiar, but the explanation is unclear, and the grammar is unclear. I read the essay, cried a thousand lines, and left the examination room two hours later

14. You can come to my world as you like, but don’t walk around in my world~

15. Fa Hai, if you don’t understand love, the Lei Feng Tower will fall

16. Wearing underpants to the outside is not called domineering, but saochi.

17. You exist In my aunt's mind~

18. Laozi and Confucius said, If you don't listen to us, you will suffer a lot. If you don't listen to me, you will suffer a lot. If you don't listen to Confucius, you will suffer a big loss.

19. You are contagious ~ stay away

20. Life is like Angry Birds ~ when you fail there are always a few pigs laughing ~

21. Why are Chinese women so good at diving and men so strong in table tennis? Because the ancients have a saying: If you have to dance with a few girls, a gentleman will win well.

22. You are a salted fish. I know that one day you will turn over, but after you turn over, you will still be a salted fish.

23. On September 1st more than ten years ago, I walked into school with a happy smile on my back, a small schoolbag on my back, and embarked on a road of no return.

24. When I was a kid, when I read The Legend of White Snake, I thought it was Fahai who liked White Snake and kept Xu Xian away. Now I always feel that Fahai really likes Xu Xian and keeps away White Snake.

25. I went with a friend to get a haircut. While I was getting a haircut, he said that it might be bad luck if his right eye jumped. I told him to rub it and it would stop the jump. As a result, I lowered my head and rubbed my eyes, and my hair disappeared from the middle.

26. Do you know that when I said oh, I meant it on purpose? When I said haha, it was because I felt really uncomfortable. When I said haha, it was because I wanted to cry. What the hell are you playing with?

27. People, when you come out to fool around, you should stuff your face into your crotch

28. The most interesting thing in a person’s life is that you suddenly die while you are still alive.

29. Eh. Don’t think that my world will be destroyed without you.

30. Others laugh at me for being too lewd, but I laugh at others for not being open-minded

31. Weight loss is said to be a woman’s lifelong career. It usually starts after a meal and ends before a meal...

32. There are many people who despise me, who are you?

33. Your face is my insole.

34. Do you often want to die? But he didn't dare. Then he said silently in his heart. I'll have to work up the courage another day.

I'm going to die~! ~!

35. In fact, God is also a human being, he just does things that humans cannot do: such as mental illness.

36. Don’t poop in front of a fly. Why would he think you are showing off your wealth?

37. Do bachelors have to remain bachelors until the next life?

38. Women’s Drunk, a man’s opportunity

39. If the poor can’t afford a computer or a TV, what else can they do while lying in bed?

40. I love you like a mouse loves rice and like a fly loves poop.

41. Living the life of Bajie, but wanting the figure of Brother Monkey, dream!

42. Every morning when I wake up, I think about my grandson quitting his job, and twenty minutes later he goes to work like a grandson.

43. I will be your heart in the next life. If I don’t beat, you will die.

44. You and I can be together for 60 cents.

45. Big Big Wolf said: No matter what, you can’t wrong my wife!

46. When I was in middle school, a buddy took me to a bookstall and asked the boss arrogantly: Is there Liu Bei? I was just wondering when I saw my boss pull out two pornographic books from the corner and hand them over

47. Others were holding hands, but I was holding a dog in my hand to see who would bite him if he didn't like it.

48. Sometimes I take out my ID card when I think I have become ugly, and I will find that I am worrying too much.

49. I am dead and I will burn paper if I have something to do. Small things stir up souls, big things dig graves. If you really miss me, come down and stay with me. If it comes online, it will be a pure transformation!

50. If you think you will be happy in the future, then give flowers.

51. I saw a good friend’s comment saying that he was exhausted from eating hot pot tonight and had failed to lose weight. Then I clicked in and liked non-mainstream humorous phrases

1 , How far a person can go depends on who he walks with; how good a person is depends on who guides him; how successful a person is depends on who he accompanies.

2. Hongxing will not get out of the wall and will be dragged out.

3. The innocence of college love lies in being able to eat instant noodles together and drink soup with humility.

4. The future is bright, but there is no road.

5. They say history is like a little girl’s pigtails. I laughed slightly. Is history so beautiful? The accurate statement should be: History is a man's beard. As time changes, the black drops become white.

6. Do things when you are awake, read when you are confused, and sleep when you are angry.

7. Get up every morning and yell: "Fuck you little Japan." This is not only good for your health, but also cultivates patriotism and moral sentiment!

8. The scary thing about stupid people is not that they are stupid, but that they are smart.

9. I thought I was decadent, but today I found out that I was already scrapped.

10. Be careful and attentive when dealing with others, but don’t be “petty”!

11. At noon on the hoeing day, bend the bow and shoot the big eagle

12. If garlic is a federal system, then bananas are a confederal system, and if grapes are a feudal system , then the orange is the county system. If the mango is centralized power, then the coconut is the virtual monarch ***he.

13. I am a little bird and I can’t fly high, because the cage is so high!

14. I don’t know if I went to college or if the university went to me.

15. If you love her, put her in a wedding dress, and then strip her naked with your own hands.

16. - Stop thinking nonsense and study hard!

17. A bald donkey, dare to snatch the teacher's wife from a poor man?

18. Love is a luxury. Just like the fox fur coat in the Paris window, it is so dazzling and charming, but the price tag on it will make people sober. Love is also a luxury product, you can only look at it from a distance, don't imagine or touch it because it requires the right time, the right person meeting at the right place, both are indispensable.

19. My destiny is up to me and not to Heaven. If Heaven wants to destroy me, I will destroy Heaven.

20. Chatting with the goddess on QQ, I found that what the goddess likes to do the most is: Oops, I’m going to take a shower, I’m going to eat, or if I have something to do and I have time to go out and chat, my classmates come to me Yes, my mother called me... A goddess has such a busy day!

21. When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. When I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me...

22. I am not Ordinary people, so they don’t speak Mandarin.

23. Mom said it is best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

24. I can’t guarantee or promise you anything, but I will do it: if one day you feel hungry, you will definitely see that I have died of hunger with a smile on my face. In your arms.

25. I would rather sacrifice the last virgin in China than leave any virgin in Japan!

26. The highest state of work is to watch others go to work and receive other people’s wages.

27. I would like to turn into an angry bird and crash into those pigs. A collection of non-mainstream humor and personality quotes

1. If one day I become a gangster, it will be because of you, a gangster

2. Think about it for a moment, living a real failure is like starting all over again

3. I want to grow old with you, remember your promise to me when it snows

4. It is said that you are in love We can be together because we meet the right people

5. We are neither cheap nor separated. Nothing is difficult in the world except for new people

6. Falling in love. Being together. Annoying It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone

7. The rich second generation's money is given by their parents, while office workers save their money piece by piece

8. Cashier Said: There is no change, let me give you two pieces of candy

9. In front of the government, of course it is the people who are wrong, in front of the boss, of course it is the employees who are wrong

10. Who will Those who work part-time are the most offended. The boss deducts wages even if they work late at night

11. Time is the best teacher, but in the end it kills all the students

12 .Grandpa’s piece of paper turned many teenagers into lonely old people

13. In the lives and work of Chinese young people, they compete with the second generation of officials. In love, they compete with the second generation of rich people

14. The farthest distance in the world is when someone who speaks Chinese and someone who speaks English cannot understand what the other person is saying

15. Mom, I want to wear a bra and I want to use a sanitary napkin, son. Shut up and you won't need these things in your life

16. If you are unhappy, just take a sleep and you will be fine. It's okay to be sad, but it's not okay to hurt your stomach

17. You said you are my friend, I know that, animals are friends of humans

18. Don't think that you are doing petty tricks in class I don’t know, who would look at their crotch and giggle?

19. The name on the phone between lovers was him, but after they broke up, it became him

20. Can you take it with you when you are born? Whatever you come and die but cannot take away, money can help you complete it

21. If you want to make your life colorful, buy lottery tickets, which can bring hope and disappointment

22. You are here to act first, but when he comes back I will be so excited

23. The classmate was holding an LV bag, but a kid from the countryside started talking like a donkey

< p> 24. Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a eunuch whose lower body was gone

25. Your lover is waiting to come out. Think about whether you are stuck in a traffic jam or lost on the road

26. % of children who are not good at math are emotional people.

27. Turn off the phone and computer, and if anyone can find me, I will go with them to get the marriage certificate.

28. How can you not love me when you sleep with me every day? The pillow said to me viciously

29. Anyway, there are two kinds of people who can play with me: one is The only person who can tolerate my neurosis is someone who is as neurotic as me.

30. Will you like me? No, then I will teach you.

31. One minute in class is like one o'clock. An hour on the Internet feels like a minute.

32. Why do so many people post photos of themselves wearing hanging bottles on Weibo? Because he wants to prove to everyone that I have not given up treatment.

33. There are two rich people in the school, One is called the canteen and the other is called the canteen.

34. I have become so familiar with my mobile phone that I have become inseparable.

35. For girls, taking off all their clothes just to wear underwear on a winter morning is an extreme sport.

36. When we were in elementary school, we would buy classmate records. Students usually wrote on the second page: Remember to treat me to a wedding banquet when you grow up. Draw another smiley face.

37. I hope that Santa Claus can stuff the answers to the final exams of each subject into the socks on my bedside on Christmas Eve.

38. When I see my classmates looking in the mirror, I always say: Demon mirror.

39. I am who I am, I will go crazy when I am happy, and I will be content when I am not happy

40. It doesn’t matter if I fall in love with a wild horse and there is no grassland at home! The problem is that I fall in love with a wild horse. Dog, he bit me all over and said I bit him!

41. Tao Zi is not just Ah Li, she also has Guo Ran.

42. You are so hungry for a cell phone, you actually ate my phone bill like a Snickers bar!

43. If you don’t get angry with some people, they will never know what they are. Pushing the limits

44. I feel so unfortunate to know you in such a big world.

45. Come back quickly, I can’t fool you alone.

46. Grab the cake and rush for the money!

47. A gentleman pretends to be dead to be a confidant, and a woman undergoes plastic surgery to please herself.

48. I am a famous villain

49. You used to be the oxygen in my life, but now you are only worthy of being carbon dioxide.

50. I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn. I buried my wife in the soil in the spring, and I will be shot in the autumn.

51. Be more optimistic about the future and be optimistic about people's hearts.

52. The reason why the universe is so majestic is that it is called the universe, because it is the universe

53. My enthusiasm is limited, so you must seize the time.

54. New + points in life, be more diligent at work, be more relaxed after get off work, cherish your family more, be more open-minded about everything, make more friends, be kinder, eat more scientifically, play more elegantly, Be indifferent to fame and fortune, and be tolerant in dealing with things.

55. We had a small disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to treat gold like dirt.

56. I put ten thousand oaths in a machine gun and fired at you, and you fell in a pool of blood, covered with Cupid’s bullets!

57. Will not bow, I don’t know how to retain people and I’m not good at words. This may be me.

58. Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel

59. Tanks heading for spring!

60. Bad people must be Bitch, a bitch is not necessarily a bad person.

61. I am single-celled, I have no femininity, I have thick lines, I have a bad figure, and I like to make trouble without reason.

62. If it is gold, it will eventually be spent; if it is a mirror, it will always reflect light.

63. If you look at a beautiful girl, you will have no way to strike up a conversation, just pick up a brick on the side of the road. Get up, come forward, classmate, did you drop this?

64. You have many sisters, and I am not missing one, but I am the only one who treats you well!

65 . You can use fire to test gold, you can use gold to test women, and you can use women to test men. Humorous classic non-mainstream quotes

1. When I was chatting with my girlfriend, I found that she had more girlfriends than I had.

2. It’s only when the books are used that it’s too little, but when it’s time to lose weight, it’s too much.

3. As a typical failure, you are too successful.

4. Life is like a pancake, you have to turn it over enough times before it matures.

5. What breaks the egg from the outside is food, but what breaks from the inside is life.

6. My girlfriend bumped into the door and her eyes were swollen. In order to prevent others from laughing at her for being stupid, she told everyone that I was the one responsible for the domestic violence.

7. I went to the movies with a girl I had liked for a few months, and after the commercial, she told me to go to the bathroom. Then she never came back.

8. I made an appointment with a boy to watch a movie. He came and brought his mother with him.

9. In the heart of a fat person, it is as uncomfortable as it is to lose weight.

10. Slogan: Close to civilization, close and convenient.

11. It’s not that the road is uneven, it’s that you’re not good enough.

12. Money is not everything, sometimes a credit card is needed.

13. Not wearing enough clothes is to show off your figure; not eating enough is to maintain your figure.

14. In order to master one more skill of eating, I am going to start practicing using chopsticks with my left hand.

15. My boyfriend has moved. He moved from my room... to my roommate's room.

16. My boyfriend and I were lying on the bed and looking at his mobile phone together. At this time, an automatic reminder message appeared on the screen: "Don't forget to lie to your baby about going out this Friday."

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17. I asked my boyfriend of five years to choose between me and World of Warcraft, either stop playing World of Warcraft or break up with me. He said World of Warcraft would make him happier.

18. My ex-boyfriend was dumped by his current girlfriend. I wrote him a song to tell him how much I still loved him, and hoped that he would give me a chance. As a result, the ex-boyfriend transferred the song to the girl who dumped him and said that he wrote the song. So they got back together.

19. Everyone should love animals, especially cooked ones.

20. If you have deep feelings, you will feel stuffy in one mouthful; if you have shallow feelings, you will lick it; if you have thick feelings, you will not drink enough; if you have weak feelings, you will not be able to drink; if you have strong feelings, you will bleed after drinking.

21. Save water and try to take a shower with your girlfriend.

22. Being drunk is never the fault of alcohol, but the degree of emotion is too high.

23. It is foolish to regard beauty as capital, but it is wisdom to regard beauty as energy.

24. The index sticks to the mountains, and the funds flow into the sea. Because of lack of clairvoyance, one floor is lost.

25. Why are my eyes always full of tears? Because I pretend to be cool and deep.