The origin of CCTV logo of CCTV

CCTV is the largest sect in the Jianghu.

What does CCTV do?

The purpose of CCTV is to make you cry, make you laugh, and more often, make you laugh and cry.

Is it fun to participate in CCTV?

Not funny.

Then why do so many people watch CCTV?

That's because other sects have to listen to CCTV for everything they do. If they don't watch CCTV, they can't eat or sleep, and their actions will lose their direction.

Do you watch CCTV?

Listen, I watch it every day.

I want to see it too ~ ~ ~

Silly boy, don't be fooled.

Why can't I watch it?

I'm afraid you can't stand it.

Oh, why?

Listen to me carefully, son.

To talk about the cruelty of CCTV, let's start with the big events and pick some things that are talked about by the broad masses of the people. As for other small things, it is really difficult to write a book. Let's not turn it into a meeting of complaints. For example, in the movie "Red Rock" broadcast by CCTV not long ago, the spy chief Xu Pengfei finally said to our party's underground party member Xu Yunfeng: "The Central Plains Field Army led by Liu Bocheng and Deng Xiaoping and the army led by He Long are divided into two roads. The ignorant spy chief didn't know that Comrade Guan Xiangying had died before the end of War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression. Comrade Xu Yunfeng laughed when he knew that the enemy had made unforgivable mistakes, which fully showed the true nature of proletarian revolutionaries. Although the masses had doubts about such a thing, they knew it was showing the enemy's stupidity, so they all laughed with Comrade Xu Yunfeng, and the devil's palace was shaken in the laughter. We can't criticize it, but we can only treat it as a negative textbook, so we won't talk about it here.

It is said that CCTV has a rudder "To Tell the Truth", which is hosted by Cui Yongyuan, a famous public lover. Cui Yongyuan is extraordinary. He is honest and amiable, and belongs to a figure with high appearance rate in CCTV. Cui Yongyuan is best at telling the truth in guidance when people are not drunk. It is not easy to do this. Why do people talk to you when they are not close? Isn't it just looking at Cui Yongyuan's naive smile? Comrade Cui Can also made the mistake of not telling the truth. For example, once he clearly went to someone else's house. Although he doesn't eat or drink, he pays for the meal according to the cadre standard of 20 cents a meal, but he asks others what your family is like. It happened that this man said sincerely, "Aren't you here?" This is a once-in-a-lifetime shame for Cui Yongyuan. However, this incident did not affect Cui Yongyuan's reputation of telling the truth. When everyone talked about telling the truth, they gave a thumbs-up and said, "We ordinary people are so blessed." Cui Yongyuan's characteristic is to take a squeezing question and answer, which seems simple and frank, but actually makes you pull out your mind mercilessly. It looks like a tiger stool in the top ten tortures, but every time you add a brick, it will make you feel terrible. In the face of such criminal law, will you not tell the truth? After all, not everyone can be Jiang Jie.

Cui Yongyuan can get people to tell the truth and get Fang Hongjin out of Focus. Interview in Focus is just the opposite of Comrade Cui's Interview in Focus. None of the people he met told the truth. Fang Hongjin is characterized by a serious expression on her face. He is called the elder statesman of CCTV. It is said that people who come to the focus interview line up every day, making foreign devils think that we are in trouble again, which has triggered a wave of purchasing. However, Fang Hongjin said that they would never accept these gifts, and they wanted the truth. Fang Hongjin and his other colleagues often ask all kinds of people, from the county party secretary to the salesman, on TV. However, these people are warriors with excellent psychological quality and lofty ideals. Everyone unanimously decided to use the word "I don't know" to answer him. Some diehards, like Jiang Jie, said, "I know the name and address of my superiors, and I also know the name and address of my subordinates, but I just won't tell them. Fang Hongjin's criminal law is flogging, which is the most common and ineffective criminal law. If they were only flogged in movies, no one would tell the truth. Even if they deal with traitors, they should use some other methods. But Fang Hongjin people just enjoy it, and don't forget to attend the joint hearing every night. Everyone sat in front of the TV and was whipped by him, but everyone was strong and finished.

Aunt Juping has become more and more naive and lively after giving birth to a child, which is really a happy event for children all over the country. Aunt Ju Ping is a very innocent, lively and annoying person among CCTV celebrities, and Aunt Ju Ping's professionalism is also one of the best. On the contrary, those five or six-year-old children are self-serious and often care about Aunt Juping as much as their parents. If Aunt Juping is naive, those children are serious. It is estimated that the old urchin is based on Aunt Juping. A great man once said, "it is not difficult to be naive for one person, but it is difficult to be naive for a lifetime." Aunt Juping did this with a naive knife. She is an example to all children. His role also lies in that the generation influenced by him will need a lot of calcium supplements in the future, which will undoubtedly be of great benefit to China's medical career. No wonder parents often say, "Children must be short of calcium. We like the naive sister Juping. She is really good. " Aunt Juping's criminal law is called parading in public. Although everyone looks at it with a sour mood, they like it very much, especially the children.

As soon as I heard the rich baritone, I knew that Uncle Zhao Zhongxiang came out of Dreadwind with a knife. It's not easy. For decades, with the sound of Dreadwind brandishing a knife at Uncle Zhao, we grew year after year until we grew into a towering tree. But Dreadwind brandishing a knife at Uncle Zhao made this young pine tree look much younger. Not long ago, younger and younger Uncle Zhao and more and more naive Comrade Ni Ping fell in love with sketches, which brought a perfect end to their CCTV career. Uncle Zhao in "Dreadwind Knife" and Ni Mei in "Love Cross Knife" are rare handsome men and women in CCTV. They published Random Thoughts of Years and Random Thoughts of Days respectively. These two books really complement each other. Even their books are all about the same theme. Their criminal law is called pepper spray, which makes your tears and nose flow out. After that, it was terrible. You can't get through unless you prepare a dozen handkerchiefs.

Comrades, let's talk about the essence of CCTV criminal law. This criminal law is called dismemberment. Why is it called dismemberment? Because one person can never finish it, it takes five people. According to their habits, these five people are called Sun Zhengping, Huang Jianxiang, Liu Jianhong, rebeccalu and Han Qiaosheng.

Sun Zhengping's teacher, Mr Song Shixiong, is the best tenor swordsman in China. His characteristic is his excellent memory. Because of this, he is very worried about the poor memory of the masses. He must read the list of players who have played four or five times in each game. What he often said was: "Some viewers may have just opened the elevator-"and then repeated what he had said before. This kind of professionalism that is neither tired nor annoying is really hard to come by.

Huang Jianxiang's name is Xiao Huang. He has the thinking of flying, he has deep class feelings for the vast number of third world teams and deep hatred for imperialism. For example, in the recent European Cup, he said, "The referee's performance has begun." It aroused the China audience's infinite hatred for the British devils and deep sympathy for the Yugoslav brothers. However, Huang Jianxiang has deep feelings for Germany, which is also an imperialist country. He and Li, the "Zangetsu" who split the wind, and Mr. Yu Dachuan will perform cross talk in the Bundesliga every weekend, which makes him have unusual feelings for Germany, and he often uses German masterpieces to educate fans who love the Premier League Serie A. Hide the Knife in the Laughter is a new campus dance that has risen rapidly in CCTV in recent years. His surname is Liu. Because of his junior qualifications, he couldn't find a fake A before, so he found another way and opened a fake B column in Titan Sports. After unremitting efforts, his ugly duckling finally turned into a white swan. Not long ago, I visited the Netherlands for the first time, and a game was broadcast in poetic language. Everyone agrees that after listening to Liu Jianhong's broadcast, I have the feeling of first love. The proposal to transfer the glorious title of "Butter Boy" stolen by Tang Guoqiang for many years to "Dagger in Smile" Liu Jianhong is under discussion, but some girls think that Liu Jianhong's idea of hiding dagger in smile is very creamy, but his appearance is not creamy enough.

Ning Xin is really the hardest one for CCTV. She is best at explaining fast-paced games in a slow-paced tone, which won the subtlety of Taiji Kung Fu. Ning Xin recently explained the French Open, and her English level was fully reflected. For example, it is really surprising that she described Kurt Teng as Cotten, but did not describe Hingis as Hingis. Just when Ning Xin said that Hingis had entered the state and started to exert his strength, the game was over and Hingis floated away with a wisp of fragrance.

Brother, I don't think it's necessary to tell the story of Han Qiaosheng the kitchen knife. He and Mr. Zhang Huide, a horn knife teacher, have become the most watched programs at present, which undoubtedly includes the painstaking efforts of Han Qiaosheng, a kitchen knife. As for his unauthorized transfer of Cristiano Ronaldo to AC Milan and Baggio playing as a defender, we should not care about such trivial matters. Many fans said that we prefer Comrade Han Qiaosheng, the "kitchen knife" of CCTV Stephen Chow, to Liu Jianhong, who hides the knife in his smile.

Son, do you want to watch CCTV?

Yes, why not? I'll watch it tonight.

What do you want to see most?

Oh, let me see. I want to see Han Qiaosheng, Chopper.