Why did the ancients say that being adopted by a son-in-law was a great shame?

China's concept of carrying on the family line is the main reason why she chose her son-in-law. It means that the man goes to the woman's house and the child takes the mother's surname. At first, it was the matriarchal family marriage system, which was the development of ancient marriage customs such as wife's residence and service marriage. There are two main reasons for continuing adoption: first, the woman needs to work and support the elderly; Second, the man's family is poor and can't afford to marry, so he can only marry the woman's family as a hostage. In Qin and Han dynasties, the form of son-in-law adoption had the nature of "son-in-law's offering". After the Song Dynasty, the son-in-law became a kind of "son-in-law's replacement" and "son-in-law's support for the elderly", while the daughter-in-law had no male children, so the son-in-law came to continue the patriarchal clan system, supplement the labor force and support the elderly at the daughter-in-law's place.

Now men and women are equal and monogamous, and the surname is decided by both parties through consultation. It doesn't matter whether a man marries a woman or a woman marries a man, that is, there is no such thing as "inserting the door backwards", just living in a different place.

Marriage and adoption of men and women are two different marriage modes, and all roads lead to the same goal. Therefore, two people live together, the same purpose is for the good of their children. However, influenced by traditional ideas and social values, there are still differences between them. To some extent, men in adoptive marriage may have to bear more pressure and make more efforts. Generally speaking, the adoption marriage is influenced by some objective factors, and there is asymmetry between the two families, which is a marriage model adopted in order to achieve balance. Therefore, compared with the marriage mode of men marrying women, this marriage mode has certain particularity, which requires both families to reach an understanding and overcome difficulties, among which the adopted man bears greater responsibility; In addition, a man who marries by adoption has to adapt not only to his wife, but also to his wife's family, so he must pay more.