Small things are big things, details determine the future

Small things are big things, details determine the future

As the saying goes, "Three years old looks small, seven years old looks old." In today's society, the role of family education cannot be underestimated. A child is born with a blank piece of paper. As parents, whether we choose to sketch randomly, understate it, or describe it carefully, each stroke determines the future of our child.

Small things are big things, details determine quality, and quality creates the future.

In other words, when parents manage their children, their attitude towards handling daily small things and details will affect their children's life.

How to deal with the small things and details in life? "A Good Mother is Better than a Good Teacher" teaches us effective methods.

The author of this book is education expert Yin Jianli. She summarized her 16 years of experience in educating children and wrote this book to share with us. She entered the problem as a mother and analyzed the problem from the perspective of a professional worker. She taught parents to correctly guide their children in small matters and details, and proposed correct education methods and easy learning methods for us to understand and apply.

Yin Jianli educated her daughter Yuanyuan to become a top student with excellent academic performance. Yuanyuan skipped two grades and was a top student at the municipal level in Beijing. She took the college entrance examination when she was 16, and her college entrance examination score was even higher than when she was admitted to Tsinghua University. The line is 22 points higher.

Since its publication, this book has won more than 20 book awards, sold 7 million copies by word of mouth, and has been translated and promoted to many countries and regions. It is an educational classic suitable for parents and teachers.

Giving injections to children is a small matter, but how to treat injections correctly is not a trivial matter that can be completely ignored. We usually think that we just need to coax the child to get the injection. In fact, a better approach is to find ways to allow children to receive injections calmly, while also cultivating their courage to endure pain. The book mentioned that there was a little boy of six or seven years old who resisted desperately when he saw an injection and cried hysterically. It can be seen that taking a shot is a very scary thing for him.

Yuanyuan couldn’t speak when she was vaccinated for the first time. After being pricked, she cried a few times in pain. Endure it.

Yuanyuan suffered from acute pneumonia at the age of 8 months. She was already somewhat resistant to injections and was even more frightened. Yin Jianli communicated with her child in advance, telling her that injections can help her recover faster, and also told her that injections are not as painful as she imagined, just like accidentally falling on her butt. You won’t cry if you fall on your butt, and you won’t cry if you get an injection. She really didn't hold back from crying, and the nurse even praised her.

From the small matter of injections, we can see that children have great plasticity and need our correct guidance at any time.

Also be careful not to tease children. Sometimes some childish or fearful behaviors of children will make adults laugh. When Yuanyuan was in kindergarten, she went to work with her father. There are two colleagues who have a good relationship with Yuanyuan's father and they like talking to Yuanyuan very much. But instead of communicating normally with the child, they treated her like a small animal and played with her. Either they pretend to be fierce and forcefully hug Yuanyuan, or they coax Yuanyuan to call them "Grandpa", which makes Yuanyuan at a loss.

From then on, Yin Jianli no longer asked her lover to take Yuanyuan to the work. We can like our children, but sometimes adults’ teasing, intentional, unintentional, or spur-of-the-moment, that they think is insignificant, actually causes damage to the child’s self-esteem.

In daily life, we should not make jokes with our children. For example, after the mother gives birth to her second child, some people will say to Dabao: "Your parents don't want you anymore." Others, Even joking with children: "You are given by mom and dad as a gift with phone bills." These can easily mislead children.

Children don’t like to eat, which is also one of the biggest headaches for many parents. When Yuanyuan Zhou was hospitalized for pneumonia for eight months, there was a boy in the same ward who didn't eat well. His mother, father and grandmother would alternately feed him every day, coax him, or promise to buy something. I tried my best to get this child to eat, and it took more than an hour to eat a meal.

If you want your child to have a normal appetite, you should let nature take its course. For children with anorexia, parents should have a calm attitude and be patient; it does not matter if the child eats more or less, and they should not be forced to feed the child; parents should control the nutrition of the child's diet; let the child learn to eat by himself, do not feed; no Talking about terms with your children when it comes to eating may be effective for a while, but in the long run, it will lead to children threatening their parents and making unreasonable demands. It is important to grasp these.

Therefore, we must pay attention to the small things in children's lives, handle these small things well, improve the quality of love, and prevent these small things from affecting the healthy growth of children.

2. Start by grasping the details and cultivating children’s good character.

We must cultivate children’s good character. It is very important to grasp the details. Details determine the future.

Teach your children to be kind.

Every child will have slight bumps when they are young. Yin Jianli taught her children to be kind to each other. If the bench touches her, do not hit the bench but rub the bench for pain. Let her realize that the collision is a matter between both parties, and they must understand each other instead of opposing each other.

Kind people are also tolerant and generous. A child who can rub the pain on the bench will have more understanding and love for others, and will not only consider his own interests when encountering problems.

Allow mistakes and encourage them when appropriate.

When Yuanyuan was four or five years old, she returned to her grandmother’s house in Inner Mongolia. At that time, there was a large water tank in the courtyard to store daily water. Next to the water tank was a small ladle specially used to scoop water. When Yuanyuan wanted to wash her hands, she didn't know how to use a small ladle, so she directly used the dirty washbasin outside to scoop it into the water tank. As a result, the water in the tank was contaminated.

Yin Jianli and her mother-in-law did not complain or accuse, but smiled and guided Yuanyuan how to use the water in the water tank. Whether a child makes a small mistake or a big one, positive guidance and positive management are necessary. This is beneficial to the growth of children.

Children also need appreciation and affirmation. During the "coming-of-age ceremony" when Yuanyuan turned eighteen, Yin Jianli wrote a letter to her daughter. In the letter, she first expressed her appreciation for Yuanyuan, and then praised her for being smart, sensible, peaceful and modest, and hoped that she would be as responsible as an adult. Gradually mature. This makes children more confident, self-esteem, and self-love.

Insist on seeking truth from facts.

Yin Jianli believes that seeking truth from facts is more important than gold. She taught Yuanyuan to look at the people and things around her realistically. When choosing three good students, Yuanyuan voted for herself if she thought she was qualified. When choosing class cadres, she can vote for a classmate who she usually doesn't like but has a strong working ability. This spirit is very valuable.

Seeking truth from facts can help children avoid bad habits such as impetuousness, vanity, paranoia and jealousy. Only by seeking truth from facts can we achieve integrity and correctly understand the nature of things.

Cultivate interest and learn easily.

Taking Chinese as an example, from literacy to writing, if children learn with interest, they can learn with ease and without pressure.

It is not difficult to make children literate. On the one hand, you need to read to her, even if she doesn’t understand, read it again and again. On the other hand, we should learn new words in daily life, such as interesting advertisements, slogans, signs in public places, etc., so that children will know more and more words.

Yin Jianli suggested that instead of chewing Chinese textbooks, let children increase extracurricular reading and expand their knowledge, which is also beneficial to writing. "Reading thousands of volumes, writing is like a god." The more books you read, the easier it will be for you to write.

Have a correct attitude towards homework.

Parents should not accompany their children to do their homework. Instead, they should write their own homework and make it a habit. This will not only cultivate their children's initiative, but also allow them to enjoy a sense of accomplishment.

Homework cannot be punished.

Teachers and parents are accustomed to punishing homework, which will make children irritable about homework. If you make a mistake and are punished to rewrite, the more you write, the more annoyed you will be, which will lead to a stronger rebellious psychology in the child.

Don’t just work hard when studying, you must learn to divide it into stages and focus on key points.

In elementary school, it is mainly about cultivating interest in learning, in junior high school, it is important to focus on learning methods, and in high school, it is mainly about diligence.

3. Let parents’ selfless love accompany their children’s happy growth

Parents’ love first means companionship, and then creates a loving family environment, understanding and respecting children, and letting reading accompany children. life.

Parents who do not take care of their children are incompetent. The main problem now is that many parents work hard to make money for their children, but are unwilling to spend time and energy with their children.

Parents taking care of their children can not only avoid the emotional loss between adults and children, but also prevent parents from losing a good opportunity to provide enlightenment education to their children. In this regard, young parents must pay attention.

"A child with a mother is like a treasure, and a child without a mother is like a piece of grass." Children without parental love are defective, and some are even treated as patients.

Yin Jianli took care of a boy who lacked parental love. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in the second grade.

The boy did not pay attention in class, ran around, attacked classmates for no reason, and even scratched others. He did not change after being forced to transfer to another school, and needed his grandmother to accompany him every day. His classmates annoyed him, and his teachers and principal were worried. The class teacher recommended that she go to the hospital for a check-up and was diagnosed with ADHD. After taking medicine for three months, there was still no improvement.

After contacting Yin Jianli, she discovered that he was not a patient, but just a child with a lack of family education. The boy's parents lived together unmarried and broke up after he was born. My mother is gone forever, and my father's whereabouts are elusive, only seeing him once or twice a year. The child is raised by his grandparents, but his grandfather has a bad temper. Whenever his grandson is naughty, he beats or scolds him, taking out his anger on his son on his grandson.

After finding out the reason, Yin Jianli started working on improving his living environment and asking his grandparents to change their attitude towards the child. I went to the head teacher and explained that there was nothing wrong with the child. Finally, use the things your children like as the starting point for communication. The boy returned to normal after four months.

Create a harmonious family environment.

Yin Jianli said that a happy home is a five-star hotel. The home must not only be clean, tidy, beautiful and comfortable, but also the family members must live in harmony and be harmonious, instead of being noisy and restless over trivial matters. A disharmonious family will bring uneasiness to children and cast a shadow on their growth. Some may even fear marriage when they grow up.

Good at discovering the beauty of children.

Yin Jianli’s family has a “merit book” but no “demerits book”. Since Yuanyuan was four years old, the family has kept a small notebook to record the good deeds she has done, such as: putting away toys, throwing away garbage, making up her own stories, learning to cut potatoes, etc. This enhances the child's self-confidence and makes it easier for them to make progress.

Children cannot be beaten or scolded.

Beating and scolding is the most undesirable method in education. Hitting children is not only a bad habit, but also a violent act. The saying "filial sons emerge from under the stick" is unscientific. Spanking and scolding children solves a small current problem, but the scars left by beating and scolding will accompany the child for life, and can easily make the child depressed or even corrupt.

Help your child solve problems.

If a child has a problem at school, parents should help the child solve the problem instead of retaliating. Loving a child means helping her establish a harmonious situation, rather than creating trouble for her.

Let reading accompany your children throughout their lives.

Guide children to read. To slowly cultivate children's interest in reading, parents should also set an example and put down their mobile phones to read together. It is necessary to read and recite ancient poetry so that children can slowly understand the beauty of Tang poetry and Song poetry. Yin Jianli also suggested reading a lot of other books. This is the best way for us to learn from the experience of our predecessors and grasp life correctly.

Simply put, reading can gain the greatest wealth and benefit children throughout their lives.

Finally, let’s briefly summarize today’s content:

The author said that children are the jade in the hands of their parents, and the correct education method is an exquisite carving knife. As the saying goes, "If jade is not polished, it will not become a useful tool."

Faced with the piece of jade in our hands, we must pick up the carving knife and act quickly. If we can't carve it carefully, don't let it go to waste. We must work hard with our children to create a better future together.