What are some ways to deal with daily situations?

(1) Keep an appropriate distance from others

Speaking is usually to communicate thoughts with others. To achieve this purpose, of course, you must first pay attention to the content of your speech, and secondly, you must also pay attention to your speech. The intensity of the sound is such that the interlocutor can understand it. In this way, you must be careful to maintain a distance from the interlocutor when speaking. Keeping an appropriate distance from others when speaking is not entirely based on whether the other party can hear you clearly. There is also the issue of how to be more polite. From an etiquette point of view, speaking too far away from the other person will make the interlocutor mistakenly think that you are unwilling to show friendliness and intimacy to him, which is obviously rude. However, if you are talking to someone at a relatively close distance, you will splash saliva on other people's faces if you are not careful, which is the most annoying thing. Some people, because they have the habit of getting closer to talk to others, and knowing that others are worried about being splashed by their spit, so they cover their mouths with their hands in advance. Doing so is just like "whispering", which is ugly and not generous enough. Therefore, from an etiquette perspective, it is generally most appropriate to keep a distance of one or two people. Doing this not only makes the other party feel a friendly atmosphere, but also maintains a certain "social distance". In terms of ordinary people's subjective feelings, this is also the most comfortable.

(2) Address others appropriately

Whether it is a new or old friend, you must address each other as soon as you meet. Everyone hopes to be respected by others, and people value the status they have achieved. Calling a titled person by his title is a sign of great respect for him. Calling someone on a first-name basis is only appropriate between people with whom you have a close relationship. If you have a special relationship with a person with a title, it is more cordial to call him or her by his or her first name, but in public and social situations, it is more appropriate to call him or her by his or her title. For people in the intellectual community, you can call them by their professional titles directly. However, for degrees, except for doctorates, other degrees cannot be used as titles.

(3) Good at eloquent conversation

Whether they are celebrities or ordinary people, as both parties in the conversation, they should be equal. Conversations generally choose topics that everyone is most interested in. However, there are some issues that should not be touched on: such as the other party's age, income, value of personal belongings, marital status, and religious beliefs. It is better not to talk about it. It is impolite and uneducated to inquire.

Language is the basic tool for interpersonal communication, and it is also an important part of the beauty of interpersonal communication. Civility, courtesy, humor, appropriate wording, appropriate tone, appropriate weight, etc., these constitute the language in interpersonal communication. Beautiful organic whole, young college students must constantly summarize it in interpersonal interactions, improve and cultivate social language arts.

1. Pay attention to language usage skills

Language is a basic tool for interpersonal communication and an important part of the beauty of interpersonal communication. It must be civilized and polite, humorous, appropriate word choice, and tone of voice. Appropriateness, suitable weight, etc., these constitute the organic whole of the beauty of language in interpersonal communication, and young people must constantly summarize, improve and cultivate it in interpersonal communication.

People with excellent language skills can use speaking skills that suit the audience, environment, situation and topic to speak, and the posture language and tone can fully match the language. Therefore, when communicating with others, the art of social language plays a very important role. Moreover, most of what we call "communication" is conducted through language.

So college students should pay special attention to social language arts in interpersonal communication. If the other person is satisfied with your gesture language, they will then pay attention to what you say. At this time, what you say must be able to match the overall first impression to attract the other person's attention. Use appropriate words to convey what you want to say to the other party in an orderly manner, and consolidate the good impression you have left on the other party through factors other than language.

Like posture, language and tone, good speaking skills can also attract the other person. On the contrary, inappropriate language can also make you lose confidence or make others feel unpleasant.

The art of social language is mastered through practice. You can also learn, summarize and improve without interacting, such as listening to a recording of yourself speaking and analyzing it before interacting.

You can also recall a period of reaction that was caused when you spoke, whether it was favorable or unfavorable; then analyze the reasons and correct them; you can also find out the reasons for the strong impression on you from examples of other people's successful speeches. Use this to continuously improve your speaking skills.

Try to overcome and use less ideal terms. This is an important language skill that must be mastered in interpersonal communication. The so-called unideal language is language that will damage the influence and appeal of the language. It roughly includes three types: "connective language", "qualifier" and "differential language".

Connections - meaningless words such as "um", "uh", "ah", etc. Using these meaningless words in interpersonal communication will destroy the coherence and rhythm of the discourse, and will Make the other person feel anxious, or even divert the other person's attention from what you want to express. It is best to make a conscious effort to avoid such words in your speech. Whenever you are about to blurt out something, maintain a period of silence to give the other person time to think about what you just said. Sometimes silence can also create a special effect.

Qualifiers - such as "but..." "Although I can't say for certain, but...", "Although I don't know the details, but..." etc., in interpersonal communication, qualifiers are also a common This is an undesirable wording that will hurt your credibility and reduce the value of your speech, and is more difficult to deal with than connectives.

This kind of excuse is often accompanied by language without confidence and posture, such as drooping eyelids, bending forward, unnatural smile, etc., as well as a voice without confidence. This situation, of course, makes your words lose their authority. Especially when you are meeting someone for the first time.

In interpersonal communication, avoid using qualifying words, and pay attention to avoid such things as looking down, not daring to look at the other person, speaking in an uneasy little voice, etc. This will prevent the other person from thinking that you have no confidence or can't make up your mind. Use a clear tone when speaking.

Differential language - is the least ideal language among the three unideal languages. Connectives and determiners will not necessarily offend the other party and are easier to forgive, while differential language will alienate others. Criticizing others, insulting others, making the other person feel resentful, and making communication fail, even if you do not intend it, even if your expression is sincere and your tone is gentle.

When men and women live together, do not use language that emphasizes one over the other; when people of different ages live together, do not use language that is contemptuous of the elderly, and do not use disrespectful names, such as calling the elderly " "Old man", "old woman", etc.

Be careful when speaking and don’t use specialized language or terminology that others don’t understand casually, so as not to create a sense of alienation. Don't show off technical terms, legal terms, or professional terms to give the other person the feeling of hearing from heaven. Otherwise, the other party will think that you are too arrogant and do not consider the person you are talking to.

In addition, language that is not suitable for the occasion and situation at the time should also be avoided in interpersonal communication. For example, using a joking tone to talk about serious things, keeping a serious face when chatting casually; , interjecting irrelevant words will make the other party feel unhappy.

In short, in communication, you must not use language that will cause you to break up with the other person. If you are worried about this happening, you can directly ask the other person which way they want to express themselves; you can understand the other person's personality in advance; you can ask for the way the other person wants you to address them. This is always more effective than apologizing afterwards.

2. Enrich your own language vocabulary

Language is the main tool for communicating interpersonal relationships and human emotions. However, college students often say: "I don't know how to use language when speaking." Or: "I really don't know how to express myself." One problem is to pay attention to constantly enriching your vocabulary and improving your expressive ability. The rich vocabulary allows you to choose the most appropriate, accurate, vivid and attractive terms; the rich vocabulary can help you solve problems and negotiate successfully.

Of course, rich vocabulary relies on learning and accumulation. It can be learned from books, newspapers, radio, film and television, colleagues... as long as you put your mind to it. But enriching one's own language vocabulary mainly depends on practice.

3. Pay attention to the beauty of language in communication

If the eyes are the windows of the soul, then language is the spring of the soul.

They wanted to make me feel at home. "This humorous remark made Trudeau smile. When Reagan decided to resume production of the new B-1 bomber, it aroused opposition from many Americans. At a press conference, he faced a group of people who opposed his decision. People said: "Why didn't I know that the B-1 was an airplane? I only know that B-1 is an indispensable vitamin for the human body. I think our armed forces must also need this indispensable thing. "His words are both humorous and firm, and it's hard to say anything to the opponent.

When encountering provocative questions, answering with humorous language will sometimes achieve better results than directly refuting them. Effect. When Edison was working on making an incandescent light bulb, someone teased him and said, "Sir, you've failed 1,200 times. Edison replied: "My success is to discover that one or two hundred materials are not suitable for making filaments!" "After saying that, he burst out laughing. His humorous reply resolved his dilemma, and the other party could no longer say anything provocative.

The famous French speaker Hein Lehmann Mai said: Telling serious truths in a humorous way is more acceptable than stating it directly. Traffic safety slogans in Johor, Malaysia, use friendly and humorous language to promote safe driving. For example, Traffic Safety Week posted. Such a slogan: "Your Excellency, if you drive a car at a speed of no more than 30 kilometers per hour, you can enjoy the beautiful scenery of this city; if you exceed 60 kilometers, please visit the court; if you exceed 80 kilometers, you are welcome to visit the emergency hospital with the best equipment in this city; above Traveled 100 kilometers, may you rest in peace! ”

Humorous language will add criticism and persuasive power to criticism. Please read Mr. Lu Xun’s criticism of Kawashima who indulged in romance and neglected his studies: Lu Xun sent Kawashima’s "China The title page of "A Brief History of the Novel" reads:

Please

stretch out a hand temporarily from the "lover's embrace"

>

Accept this dry and tasteless "A Brief History of Chinese Novels"

For the enemy, the humorous and spicy satire was a powerful blow to the "China and West Daily" hosted in the United States. "Wu Qingzhao" talked about Yuan Shikai in a speech. He said: "Yuan Shikai only did one thing in his life that was of great benefit to China. The listener was stunned and wanted to know what was going on. He then replied that this matter of great benefit to China "is that he died - absolutely died, and died at the right time." A fitting death. "This wise remark made everyone present laugh. During the Second World War, Hitler visited a mental hospital. Most of the patients here were people with different views. Hitler asked them if they knew who he was, and the patient shook his head. Shaking his head. Then Hitler shouted: "I am A. Hitler, your leader." My power is so great that it rivals that of God! The patients ignored him and showed contemptuous smiles. One patient patted Hitler on the shoulder and said, "Yes, yes, we were like you when we first got sick." "This sentence effectively criticized Hitler's neurotic arrogance.

Humor is generally divided into facial humor, action humor, and verbal humor. The most common verbal humor in daily life, verbal humor is not only It is expressed in conversations and in books. Some people also use humor in expressions and movements when speaking, but they are more commonly used in comic performances on stage (such as crosstalk, burlesque, pantomime, and acrobatics). Clowns, etc.). How to make a conversation humorous? There are the following aspects in the use of language:

1. Use the polysemy and homonym of words in a specific language environment. With the condition of the same shape, one word is used to relate two different things, so that the sentence has a double meaning. For example, in "Liu Sanjie", Liu Sanjie sang a duet with three scholars. Li Huakai, surnamed Luo, no gongs and drums were heard, and three idiots came out. "This is a homophonic pun. When Liu Sanjie refers to the peach surnamed Tao, it means "peaches bear fruit", when referring to Li surnamed Li, it means "li blossoms", and when referring to Luo, it means "gongs and drums sound"; she does not say "peach bears fruit" or "li flowers bloom". ", "Gongs and drums sound" means that the three talents Tao, Li and Luo have no ability and are not the opponents of Sai Ge. This is satire using puns.

When the girl saw her teacher's wife coming, she reported to her teacher, "Teacher, there are five hundred ducks looking for you." This made her teacher very embarrassed.

10． It is implicit but not explicit, and there is something behind the words. A young man went to the editorial department of a magazine to submit a manuscript. After reading it, the editor asked him: "Did you write this novel yourself?" The young man replied: "I wrote it myself. I conceived it for a month and sat down for a whole month. It took two days to write it, it was so hard to write!" The editor pretended to be surprised and said: "Ah, the great Mr. Chekhov, when did you come back to life!" The young man's novel was a plagiarism. He immediately heard the editor's words. I left the editorial office with a face full of shame and guilt.

11. Exaggerated language is also a common humor technique. Crosstalk actor Ma Ji came to Liuzhou City in Guangxi and asked Zhuang poet Huang Yongcha: Is there any crosstalk material in folk songs? Huang Yongcha told him a story: Once upon a time, there was a very coquettish rich man who made up a fake folk song to tease a pure village girl:

I have never been old,

This year There are ninety-three among them.

The king of hell has approved me to be a hundred years old.

I still have seven years to play with my sister.

The village girl immediately responded with a song:

She is always trembling,

Seven old people and eight old people are shouting to her sister,

Beard Born on a horse's butt,

leave it to the younger generation to play second fiddle.

The folk songs of village girls use exaggerated rhetorical techniques. Ma Ji praised: "Funny, humorous, and thoroughly sarcastic."

12. The same language will achieve humorous effects when used in language environments of different eras or people of different eras. For example, some drama sketches depict ancient people talking about modern people, and the audience can't help laughing. If you write about today's young lovers going to "Karaoke" to play, no one will find it ridiculous; if you write a "new version of "The Romance of the West Chamber"", write about Zhang Sheng saying to Cui Yingying: "Miss, let's go to Karaoke tonight to dance. Okay?" The audience couldn't help but laugh. Because there is a great contrast between the current language and the ancient language environment, it makes people feel ridiculous to put the two together.

13． Use industry slang appropriately to make conversations or articles lively and humorous. Qin Mu, a famous essayist in my country, once lamented when faced with his own achievements and honors: "There are many people and things in the world who round up to five, and I am the lucky person to get five." "Rounding" is a mathematical term , used in this sentence, implicitly expresses Qin Mu's humility and appears humorous and generous. For another example, before the restoration of Sino-Soviet relations, Gorbachev stated that he would restore normal good-neighborly and friendly relations with China. Comrade Deng Xiaoping proposed that this could only be achieved under three prerequisites. Foreign media commented on this that "Gorbachev released a tentative balloon" and "Beijing kicked the ball to Moscow again." Terms such as "balloon" and "kicking ball" are used here to explain serious political and diplomatic issues in a relaxed and humorous way.

14． Substituting concepts and making use of mistakes that violate the law of identity also make the conversation humorous and interesting. Mr. Lu Xun wrote in an essay:

A: B, we regard you as a reliable person, so we have not concealed several things about the revolution from you. Why did you inform the enemy?

B: That’s unreasonable! What a snitch! I said it because they asked me.

A: Can’t you just say you don’t know?

B: What are you talking about! I have never told a lie in my life, I am not such an unreliable person!

In this conversation, B secretly changed the concept of "reliable person" and turned it into referring to "never lie", which includes telling the truth to the enemy (informing). Lu Xun wrote B to change the concept and defend himself precisely to effectively satirize and expose the ugly face of the traitor.

There are many other humorous techniques, so I won’t list them all here.

Be sure to use a sense of humor when speaking humorously. Be careful: don't be sarcastic and laugh at others, and don't make fun of others by imitating their actions and speech. Don't be nagging, long-winded, or talk endlessly. The humorous language should be very concise. Don’t just be funny, playful, and endlessly humorous. Being playful will give you a reputation as a "clown" and damage your image. Endless humor will lose the charm of humor.

In daily life, there are many occasions where humorous jokes can be told, such as enjoying the cool air in midsummer, waiting for a bus by boat, walking under the moon, taking a break after work and class, chatting before and after drinking and banquets, etc. However, it is not appropriate to tell humorous jokes on some occasions, such as in serious occasions, solemn meetings, or at funerals, etc. At the wedding banquet, you can say some humorous and revealing words about the love anecdotes of the bride and groom, but do not use sensitive issues such as the appearance, age or privacy of the bride and groom as jokes. That is unpleasant. of. Therefore, humor depends on the occasion. Humor also requires good timing.

Once you find that your humor can make everyone happy or bring others into a happy atmosphere, you will not hesitate to show it. Once you find that the surrounding atmosphere is not suitable for humor, you should stop it. Humor should also pay attention to the target, and distinguish between different genders, identities, statuses, experiences, cultural qualities and personalities. Not everyone can tell humorous jokes.

Generally speaking, among acquaintances, fellow villagers, classmates, loved ones, old colleagues, and old subordinates, you can joke and say humorous words, even if the joke is a little too much, it is not harmful. However, if you are a superior, a celebrity, an elder, a stranger, a woman, especially a young girl, a person with a melancholy or withdrawn personality, or a person who is dissatisfied with your job or career, it is generally not appropriate to joke casually. When speaking humorously, one must have the right attitude. Pretending, exposing people's secrets, hiding hidden things in laughter, criticizing others, being far-fetched, vague, vulgar, glib, and laughing first are all taboos in telling humorous jokes.

——Quoted from "The Complete Book of Sales and Marketing" by Yanbian People's Publishing House