Funny jokes

Collection of funny jokes

A joke means something that makes people laugh. Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in plot, often unexpected, and give people the wonderful feeling that the god of laughter suddenly comes. The following is a collection of interesting jokes that I have compiled for you. It is for reference only. I hope it can help you!

Funny Jokes 1

1. The sausage felt very cold when it was locked in the refrigerator. Then he looked at the other sausage next to him, felt a little comforted, and said: "Look You're so frozen, your whole body is covered with ice!"

Nagen said: "I'm sorry, I'm a popsicle."

2. The toothpaste girl is always in a hurry, and suddenly becomes weak. Brother Mao Toothbrush is dating, and suddenly he is in love with Brother Electric Toothbrush

A new neighbor came today, Girl Toothpaste: "Wow, you are so tall, you are so stylish~ What is your name~ Let's go on a date Let's go~"

The new neighbor said coolly: "No! I am Comb"

3. The lion and the turtle were about to fight. Before the fight, the turtle said to the lion: "Fight. Please tie up your hair first!”

The lion said to the turtle: “Then you must put down your bag first.”

4. On the Amazon River, A crocodile bites a female tourist. The female tourist exclaimed: "There are so many people, why do you only have trouble with me?"

The crocodile said: "There are so many animals, why are you the only one who likes to use crocodile skin bags?"

5. When the ant saw the snail sitting on the turtle's back and walking toward him, he hurriedly said hello, but the snail ignored it. The ant shouted angrily: "As soon as I got a private car, I no longer recognize my old friends."

Another day, the ant flew past the snail on the back of a fly. The snail said hello to it, and the ant Pretend not to see it. Snail muttered: "Isn't it just a private plane? It's dirty and noisy, so what's the big deal!" Funny Jokes Part 2

1. A man flies because of a bad relationship with his wife. Go talk to a marriage expert. The experts asked him many questions but could not see the problem.

Finally, the expert asked: "Did you see your wife's face during the kiss?"

"Saw it once."

Expert Ask: "How is it going?".

"She looked very angry."

At this time, the expert felt that he had found the answer and said: "This is exactly where your problem lies. Kissing is an exchange of emotions between two people. , from a psychological point of view... By the way, under what circumstances did you see her angry face?"

"Oh, she saw it outside the window..." < /p>

2. An expert from a genetic research institute is studying a topic: how to quickly turn yellow plants green. But there has been no progress. After returning home, his wife saw his frown and asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

The expert sighed and said, "I don't know how to make plants change quickly. "Green."

My wife smiled and said, "Well, what did I think? It's not easy to turn green quickly? Just throw it into the stock market. Look at the stocks I bought yesterday. Everything turned green today."

3. A tourist rushed into the country tavern and shouted: "Someone help me, my mother-in-law is stuck in the swamp and her feet are almost submerged. "

"Don't worry if your feet are submerged," a farmer said. "I'll help you drag her out after I finish this glass of wine."

"Thank you very much." The tourist said, "Then I'll have a drink too, and I'll wait for you while I drink."

"Go and save her," the farmer said after finishing the drink, "it may be up to your mother-in-law's knees now." ”

“Definitely not,” the tourist said, “I forgot to mention just now that she fell headfirst into the swamp.” Funny Jokes 3

1 , I came home from get off work and saw my daughter-in-law holding her one-year-old son in her hands, shaking her desperately, and the child was crying in pain.

I quickly asked, "Why are you doing this!"

My wife said, "I often hear people say that children grow up in a flash.

"

2. At a roadside kebab stall, my friend suddenly asked me "Have I caught a cold?"

"Yes, how did you know? Is my voice a little hoarse? ”

“That’s not true, I see that when you smoke, only one nostril smokes”...

3. In the supermarket parking lot, I saw a lady reversing her car. I enthusiastically stepped on the ground Former conductor: “Down! Fall again! Fall again! ..." The car hit the wall with a bang.

The lady walked up to me angrily. I politely took out my business card and handed it to her: "Hello, I am from the auto repair shop across the street. My name is 20% off. "

4. A friend was having dinner, and I asked him how much his current salary could be. He silently raised two fingers.

I said: "Two thousand? "

He shook his head.

"Twenty thousand?

Still shaking his head.

I asked him how much it was,

The guy said calmly: "One thousand and one." ”

5. Male: Let’s give him a big cut, 50-50, how about it?

Female: Then tell me first, whose 50% is it? Interesting Jokes 4

1. My daughter is three years old and she is very envious when she sees other children riding bicycles!

“Dad, I want to ride a bicycle too! "

"I will buy it for you when you grow up! "

When I got home, I suddenly found out that there was no toilet paper after going to the toilet!

"Baby, bring toilet paper to daddy. ”

“I’ll get it for you when I grow up!

2. There were two almost three-year-old children sitting together at the dinner table, a boy and a girl. I teased them and asked, "Who is the mother here?"

The boy pointed at his mother and said, "This is mother."

The girl pointed to her mother and said: "This is mother."

I then asked: "Who is the mother?"

Boy: "This is it." ”

Girl: “No, this is.” ”

Then...then the two children scolded and beat each other.

Oh mom, I laughed to death...

3. Take the train back to my hometown, next to A little girl was writing her summer homework, which was an idiom-based question.

The first idiom given was to be bold, and the little girl wrote calmly: To be bold - to do whatever you want - to do whatever you want - to do whatever you want...

4. A colleague gave me a piece of chocolate. After taking it home, my son and my nephew were mumbling about how to divide it.

My son said, "How about we each take one bite."

The little nephew said: "I have a small mouth and you have a big mouth. It's not fair."

The son said: "Then use a knife to cut it." "

The little nephew said: "Brother, you can't cut it evenly.

The son said: "What should we do?"

The little nephew smiled and said, "I have a good idea."

The son asked: "Turn the chocolate into water and drink a small cup per person?"

The little nephew said: "No, there will be a lot of chocolate left in the cup." Let's throw the chocolate on the floor and step on it, and whoever doesn't mind it being dirty can eat it. "Interesting Jokes Chapter 5

1. I can tell the bear: Walking more is not only good for the body, but also saves energy and reduces emissions. So, I sold my small four-wheeler. .

2. Cry to the device and say: Brother, don’t leave the four lights at home on all day long. Two lights are already very bright. Lighting one less light can save one degree. Electricity, save it for yourself and contribute to low carbon at the same time, why not do it?

3. Xian said to Xi: Water resources are becoming more and more precious, and it will be enough to save just a little bit. You should save a little more.

4. I said to Gui: My friend, the chopsticks next to you are not disposable, right? If they are, I will seriously despise you.

5. Li said to Li: The environmental pollution caused by the current physical operation is really too great, so after careful consideration, I shut down my own factory.

6. Gas vs. steam: Natural gas resources are quite limited. If you can save it, you must save it. But it’s not good if you add water to it, right?

7. Xiao said to him: It’s too wasteful for you to live in a room by yourself! Look at me, five people live together, saving valuable space and making rational use of resources. Funny Jokes Part 6

1. If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend them; if someone offends me, then he is a human trafficker.

2. Give me a lever and I can open my eyelids.

3. Having a waistline of three feet is not a day's greed, and breaking up is not a day's suspicion.

4. Flies fighting - fighting for convenience!

5. Only by having confidence in your own food can a restaurant not even have WiFi! ?

6. Hotel slogan: Our air conditioner is as cold as your ex’s heart!

7. A pastor opened a breast augmentation hospital, and a small-breasted woman received a banner after the operation, with a four-word letter: Thank you Lord for your kindness.

8. Although colorful mushrooms look good, you cannot eat them because... mushroom poison is the most terrifying poison in the world.

9. I’ve read too many jokes, and now I can’t look directly at the word “share”.

10. A true tough guy will never let tears stain his eye makeup.

11. The process of success is called hard work, and the process of failure is called blind tossing! Funny Jokes Chapter 7

1. When Sanfeng has no edges and corners, it means that Zhang Sanfeng has matured.

2. Three unwritten rules in life: 1. 2. 3.

3. Lu<——This is a bottle of hand sanitizer.

Account<——This is a bottle of used hand sanitizer.

4. The leader gave me a bottle of Red Bull. I didn’t like drinking it so I gave it to my colleague. The colleague was very attentive and gave it to the leader. The leader called me over and asked me to give you another bottle.

5. Common sense in life: 1. If someone tells you that he is mute, he is definitely lying to you. 2. There is scientific evidence that celebrating birthdays is good for your health. The more birthdays you celebrate, the longer you live.

6. Nick Fox and Judy Rabbit finally lived happily together. One night, Judy Rabbit hugged Nick Fox on the bed and asked: "My dear, why did you chase me in the first place?"

Nick the Fox stroked her tail with a smirk on his face: "Because you are easy to feed, I have something you like to eat."

Judy the Rabbit pricked up her ears: "Really, is there anything delicious?"

"Fox radish."

7. Once upon a time, a peasant woman lost an axe. She suspected that it belonged to her neighbor. My son stole it.

So, she paid attention to every word and action of that person. As a result, the more she looked at it, the more she felt that the child looked exactly like her husband. Funny Jokes 8

1. Patient: "Doctor, I keep having the same nightmares lately. What is going on?"

Doctor: "Did you dream about this?" What kind of dream is this?"

Patient: "I always dreamed that I walked to a door, so I pushed and pushed, but I couldn't push it open!"

Doctor: " "What's on the door?"

Patient: "There is a word 'pu'..."

2. A classmate was memorizing vocabulary for Level 4, but fell ill and was hospitalized due to exhaustion. A friend came Visit in the ward.

Beside the hospital bed, his friend held his hand: "Are you okay? What did the doctor say?"

The classmate said: "Doctor."

3. There is a friend, female, who likes to play QQ Farm. When she got up online today, she found her QQ signature saying:

My chrysanthemum will open at ten o'clock tonight. Everyone is welcome to come and watch. . ;