Seek the full version of the cross talk "News Network" of Hip-hop Baggage Shop ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The background music of the news broadcast is playing. Good evening, audience. B: Good evening. A: Today is Monday, April 30th, 20 12, the 10th day of the fourth lunar month. Welcome to the news broadcast program. B: The main contents of today's program are as follows: Two crosstalk performers, Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang, from Beijing Hip-hop Bun Shop will give a special crosstalk performance at Beijing Haidian Theatre; B: The United Nations High-level Meeting on the Millennium Development Goals was held at United Nations Headquarters. The main topic of the meeting is to discuss whether the cross talk symbols in Zhang Kang, Jia Xuming do not meet the current market demand and will lead the new trend of cross talk development. A: World leaders have sent congratulatory messages. They said in their congratulatory messages that in the past year, the cross talk between Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang has made outstanding contributions to world peace and development. Especially the shameless spirit of Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang. (Two confident smiles) B: Celebrities from all walks of life have arrived at Haidian Theatre. I paid an official goodwill visit to Zhang Jia for four hours. A: There are two people who came to watch the performance today: Obama A: Bin Laden B: Ban Ki-moon A: Gaddafi B: George W. Bush A: Saddam B: Kim Jong-un A: Kim ZR B: (looking at A) A: (looking at each other) B: I have seen the list here. B: People on both sides are very concerned about this time. The effect of this performance is not good, and Jia Xuming will be taken away without hesitation. A: (Take a look at B) B: The main reason is that there are no boat tickets in Zhang Kang. A: (Take a look at A) B: We will recall12012 in October to 20 12 1 in May. A: Bi Fujian hosted CCTV Spring Festival Gala for the first time. When an old man is behind, the situation is completely different. The stars of the Spring Festival Gala all showed the standard of the Avenue of Stars. B: At the Spring Festival Gala in the Year of the Loong, Li was the strongest person ever, because he followed Li from Qu Ying to Zhou Xun and then to Faye Wong, and he lost his voice. A: On March 20th, when Sinopec, PetroChina and CNOOC started bidding at the same time, China Waste Oil made it clear that it would not follow up for the time being. B: The masses greatly appreciated it. This is a responsible and conscientious central enterprise! A: According to the notice of the Municipal Traffic Management Bureau, No.93 gasoline rose to 8.33 yuan a liter, which led to a significant decrease in traffic volume, but the flow of people increased and the traffic pressure increased. Therefore, pedestrian traffic restrictions have been implemented since May 1. Single eyelid one-day tour, double eyelid two-day tour, single and double, night tour. If you travel with sunglasses, you will be treated as deliberately blocking the number plate. For blind travelers, they will be regarded as having no license plate. Please tell each other according to the deck, and wish everyone a happy holiday in advance. B: The 315 party revealed that many large enterprises were selling expired food. In fact, we should not condemn them, but thank them. They helped us cultivate an indestructible body. Xinhua News Agency reported that more than 200 diners in a restaurant in California were hospitalized for diarrhea due to the use of unsanitary tableware, but the diners from China not only did not feel any discomfort, but also participated in the rescue work. American reporters present lamented that the days when China people were sick in East Asia are gone forever. A: You see, the people who make leather shoes medicine just ate Sudan red salted duck eggs the day before yesterday, and the people who make Sudan red just drank waste oil the day before yesterday. The breakfast milk for cooking waste oil is all three-poly. Sanju Milk is eating lean meat and diarrhea every day, and now she is eating leather shoes capsules. Don't apologize. This is called compound, three-dimensional and leaping comprehensive management. B: If I want to eat jelly in the future, I will lick my leather shoes. I want to eat old yogurt, so I lick my shoes. If I catch a cold, I will lick my leather shoes. When I have money, I must buy two pairs of leather shoes, wear a pair and eat a pair. Answer: Going to the hall, going to the kitchen, climbing mountains, going to the pond, making yogurt and pressing capsules, 20 12, shoes are very busy. B: Every day, I can hear the news about all kinds of toxic foods around me. Occasionally, the contents of harmful substances are clearly marked on cigarette packages, which clearly reminds us that smoking is harmful to health. I have a strange feeling. Or somebody else's tobacco industry has the most conscience! A: The deeds of Little Shenyang have deeply touched many people's hearts. People are singing and learning from the good example of small Shenyang and vigorously promoting the spirit of small Shenyang. Groups of people have sprung up all over the country to learn from small Shenyang. B: People's tolerance for corruption has reached a critical point. Therefore, the relevant departments decided to greatly raise the critical point of the people. A: The central government has decided to allocate 654.38 billion yuan to arrange for 40,000 bureau-level cadres to return to the Long March. The news has been leaked, which triggered a heated discussion among netizens. The people have indicated that they don't want to play the national army voluntarily for any reward. They also said that a corrupt official would never be allowed to arrive in northern Shaanxi alive. B: If parents' conferences are held in European and American universities in March next year, then the two sessions may not be held next year. A: The list of candidates that moved China this year is Indonesian, Vietnamese, Myanmar, Thailand and the Philippines. B: Zhang Shangshui, a famous military expert, gave a reference table of military forces of various countries. The first is the United States, which can hit whoever it wants; The second is Britain and the United States, who will fight; And the third is France, who will fight me, who will fight. Fourth, Japan, whoever hits me, I will let the United States hit him. Fifth, South Korea, whoever hits me, I will exercise with the United States. Sixth, Russia, whoever scolds me, I will hit him. Seventh, China, I will scold anyone who hits me. A: North Korea, whoever annoys me, I will hit South Korea. B: North Korea is really a strange country. As long as you are fat, you will become a national leader sooner or later. A: North Korea is poor and thrifty. It has built rockets for so many years and released them as monkeys flying in the sky. B: North Korea's failure to launch a rocket tells us a truth. If you don't have enough to eat, you really can't last a minute. A: Japanese tourist Kiichiro Kawahara lost his bike in Wuhan and later found it again. He deeply thanked Wuhan people for their names. Actually, it's nothing. When the photographer Mr. Chen lost his computer, the whole society helped him find the photos. B: Boy who lost his bike, I want to remind you that you lost your bike after riding more than a dozen countries here. Be content. If you put your first stop in China, your world tour will have only one stop. A: Rui Chenggang asked Locke: Mr. Ambassador, I heard that you are flying economy class. Are you reminding everyone that the United States owes China money? Rui Chenggang's question is reasonable, because all China people who owe money to China fly first class. B: A food poisoning incident occurred in a primary school in Guizhou. The headmaster was attacked and gave the students rotten food. The headmaster was dismissed on the spot. It is not easy to be a primary school principal. The president of a university will never be dismissed for giving rotten food to his students. A: Good medicine tastes bitter and is good for the disease. In order to solve the bitter problem of traditional Chinese medicine, the Chinese Medicine Association decided to insert a tube into the body to fill the medicine, because it would be very comfortable to insert a tube into the body. The experiment began with the president of the Chinese Medicine Association. B: It is said that the sales volume of Guizhentang is rising instead of falling, because the time taken by live bears to take courage proves that their products are genuine. A: A young man's girlfriend is arranged to leave a message saying "I love you" on a Sina Weibo every day. As long as she insists on 100 days, she will marry this young man. Seeing that it has lasted for 99 days, I opened Weibo on 100, and I saw no comments. B: Internet development planning: firstly, comments have been closed; secondly, comments have been closed; thirdly, it has been closed. A: According to Weibo's ranking, the second place is Weibo, and the first place is Weibo. B: The State Administration for Industry and Commerce investigated and dealt with an Olympic infringement case according to law. In Zhejiang, underwear manufacturers registered two trademarks first. Men's underwear is called bird's nest, and women's underwear is called water cube. What annoys the Olympic Committee most is their advertising slogan "One place, one dream". A: 15 years ago, when I was in junior high school, the whole class watched Titanic together, and then I was puzzled. Ross and Jack will get into the car, the window will fog, and one hand will suddenly slap the window. I want to watch it again this time. I heard it was deleted. B: ipad3 was released as scheduled, supporting ten languages, but there is no Korean. South Korean netizens said with regret: South Korea is a market that cannot be ignored. Why don't they support Korean? China netizens say that apples are old and spicy, which fundamentally eliminates the possibility that apples were invented by Koreans. A: The battle between Fang and Han Han gave us two understandings. Han Han is not a god. Fang is not a person. As for Fang, only the water army can deal with him, because water can carry a boat and overturn it. A: When Guangzhou Evergrande played against Japanese football league champion Baitai Shen Ying, the fans raised the slogan that Diaoyu Island is ours and Aoi sora is everyone's. B: Aoi sora made a huge endorsement for Longjing, and netizens questioned whether Longjing was green tea or scented tea. Cang Jing and Longjing have the same TIC-tac-toe, so we don't understand it. What does tic-tac-toe stand for? Because there are two wells. B: Here's the sports news. After unremitting efforts, Messi's average score per game finally surpassed that of the United Arab League. Yi Jianlian has worked hard in the NBA for several years and has grown from an ordinary substitute player to an absolute substitute player. B: The Beijing team won the first China-Japan men's basketball final in Beijing. Two of them played the most important roles, one was Marbury and the other was Su Wei. A: Beijing fans have finally given up their years of Beijing scolding and turned to shout for Su Wei. The municipal government club presented a banner to Comrade Su Wei with tears in recognition of his great contribution to the civilized stadium. Since the professional league, I didn't expect Su Wei to be cured. B: China's football went to the world, stopped, and failed again. The fans said calmly that this was an appropriate result. A: I've watched the China team for more than ten years, and what commentators say most is that there is not much time left for the China football team. B: On the issue of national football bonuses, the Football Association announced a plan to enter the top ten a few days ago, with 5 million yuan, rushing into the World Cup and winning again10 million. In order to have a greater chance of winning 6.5438+0.5 million, players bought welfare lottery tickets: Shu Qi deleted all Weibo, a fan of 200,000 quarreled with a fan of 4 million, and forced a fan of 6.5438+0 million to delete Weibo. B: In all parts of Beijing, there are all kinds of indescribable billboards and posters promoting the spirit of Beijing. Patriotism, innovation, tolerance, kindness and certification. A: The receipt. Wechat is a good social tool. Within a few months, Parkinson's patients all over the country met and became friends. B: It is said that China will build its own aircraft carrier. The most pertinent suggestion of the Ministry of Railways is that China only build one aircraft carrier. Liu Yun in Beijing will build an English school, where people are not allowed to speak Chinese. In fact, this kind of thing is not new, because there is a precedent in China, and people who wear underwear to work are not allowed to tell the truth. B: The divorce rate in China has been rising for seven consecutive years, with more than 5,000 couples divorcing every day. In order to control the number of divorced couples, Beijing will implement a lottery. A: I just saw the Qingming burning Apple mobile phone, fearing that my ancestors would not use it. The owner of the priest's shop said that Jobs had turned it in. Please rest assured. B: Due to the sharp increase in the price of cemeteries, many people clearly stated in their wills that they should be buried standing to expose their upper body, which can save land and tombstone money. A: There is still a generation in China. When they were in primary school, universities didn't need money. When they have no jobs, they are assigned jobs. When they can work, they must find a job. When they didn't earn money, they were allocated a house. When they can earn money, they find that they can't afford a house at all and can't marry a wife. Before entering the stock market, fools can make money. When he rushed in, he found himself a fool. They are always in no hurry, and they always live tenaciously after complaining. They are post-80s. B: They live in the world's most expensive house, drive the world's most expensive car, pay the world's most expensive expenses, burn the world's most expensive oil, drive on the world's most blocked roads, pay the world's most expensive money to buy roads, avoid the world's most privileged cars, expose themselves to the world's most secret electronic products and worry about the world's strangest fines. They are also determined to live. They are from Beijing. A: Many people in China don't like news broadcast because they are jealous of China's happy life. B: Today's news broadcast is over. Thanks for watching.